Troublesome Soulmate
by SupposedToBeAnArtist
Summary: The ex-volleyball captain Daichi is a 25 year old police officer who lived an uneventful life in Tokyo while maintaining the peace and quiet of his neigborhood. Never did he imagine that he would ever find his soulmate, yet life started to change as the nursery school teacher, Sugawara, literally crashed into his life. Troubled be the shadows of his past, he finds comfort in Daichi
1. Chapter 1: Fateful encounter

**Chapter 1: Fateful encounter**

 _What kind of weather is that?!_ Sawamura Daichi asked himself as he was walking along the streets of Tokyo. He was a young police officer and currently out on patrol. The brunet loved his job, even though it meant being outside not matter what the weather forecast said. He just wanted to help people in need. His years in high school, especially the time he spent as the captain of the volleyball club, had him realize that he wanted to support and protect the people in his future as well.

Since his shift began, 4 hours had passed with no major occurrences; he had helped some lost children, gave aid to some elders and he stopped an argument between neighbours. Overall, it was a rather nice and calm day.  
So he decided to go for a little coffee break in a cute little shop he had discovered on one of his patrols. As soon as he got near the shop, the sound of something being crashed, followed by shouting could be heard. The dutiful police officer immediately quickened his pace. Through the window he could see two tall, scary looking men, one equipped with a gun, whereas the other was playing around with a big knife in his hands. Both were dressed in black sweat jackets with hoods covering their faces and they even wore masks to cover their mouths and noses. Those bastards threatened a young woman with her little child, while holding the customers of the café hostage. Daichi was friends with the short brunet lady and he knew that she owned the little shop, though he only recently learned about it due to his past visits. Her name was Michimiya Yui and they knew each other since high school. They even dated for a short time, however they broke up after a couple of weeks because both realized that they just weren't meant for each other. A soulmate thing of some sort. Honestly, finding your soulmate was nearly impossible nowadays, many people never find them for their whole lives, Yui though found hers in a totally unexpected way. From what he heard, both literally ran into each other at the mall and a little flower shaped mark had appeared on their hands, symbolizing their now linked souls. Daichi wasn't mad at her at all, rather than that he had been happy that she met her fated partner, so they broke up on friendly terms and stayed in contact. That's just the kind of person he had always been.

While contemplating his past with Yui, he kept on observing the scene in front of him. It didn't look too well, and he paused for a moment, since rushing into something unprepared and without thinking wasn't his principle. After considering his options he decided to call his colleague, Iwaizumi Hajime, for backup, since he was supposed to be stationed around the area today.

"Hajime, I need you at Yui's coffee shop! NOW! She and her customers are being threatened by two guys, one with a gun, the other has a knife."

"Okay, I'm a couple of streets away, so I'll be there in a few. Observe them and don't do anything stupid!"

The brunet agreed and waited patiently, until something unexpected happened. One of the customers secretly grabbed the broom that leaned against the wall, sneaked up onto the perpetrators and hit the guy with the gun, knocking the weapon away in the process. Following that, the ash-blond stranger was somehow able to dodge the others strike, but got kicked in the chest by the now unarmed man. It sent him flying into the counter and elicited terrified screams by the four other hostages.

"Oh shit! Someone tried to intervene! I must step in, like now! Hurry up guys!"

The police officer drew his own gun, burst into the coffee shop and yelled, "Put your hands up and lower your weapons. Step away from the counter and don't make another move or I'll shoot you!"

The taller one, without his weapon, surrendered, but not without sending his comrade a little sign. Upon seeing that, he pulled the already injured stranger closer, pushed the knife forcibly against his throat and warned Daichi, "YOU better put your weapon down or I will kill this cutie right on the spot! Move out of the way or I'll slice his throat open!"

The grey-haired guy winced slightly, his eyes widened in pure terror. _It's kind of strange to see him that scared, seeing how he tried to disarm them before. Probably the adrenaline..._

The police officer lowered his gun and pretended to give up. Out of sight for the culprits, Iwaizumi and another colleague had arrived and signalled him to do so.  
Pushing their hostage brutally against some tables, they attempted to run away, however, thanks to Iwaizumi's and Daichi's flawless teamwork and strategy, both perpetrators were quickly arrested. Daichi's colleagues took them away, so he could take care of the scared witnesses and victims.

As soon as these bastards were gone, the brunet walked over to the fallen down man. He crouched down in front of him and asked worriedly, "Hey, how are you feeling? Did they hurt you badly? Here, let me help you up."

The ash-blond struggled to get back on his feet and confessed, "I'm pretty exhausted and my head is killing me... Sorry, if I caused you more trouble. I just had to safe poor little Yato here. I'm glad you stepped in."  
Now he lifted his head again and showed his saviour a big, kind and cheerful smile.

Upon seeing that, Daichi froze in place, the time seemed to stop for him and his heart throbbed loudly in his chest. He stared and this beautiful man and lost himself completely in his big, hazel-brown eyes, while also noticing a little mole underneath his left eye. This stranger set a fire in the brunet's heart and for the first time ever, he felt truly at home. Was this what it felt like to meet your soulmate?

"-llo? HELLO? Are you okay, sir? Your face is red and you're spacing out." An angel like voice pulled the brunet out of his trance, leaving him quite flustered.  
 _Oh god, did he notice me staring at him? This is so embarrassing! Why is even this man's voice resonating deep within me?_ Daichi thought to himself.

While supporting his body to lift him onto a nearby chair, he answered, "I'm alright. I didn't want to worry you, when you experienced something that terrifying."

Then, looking up at Yui, he asked, "Could you get something to cool him down, as well as some water? What exactly happened here?"

After giving the brave ash-blond the requested items, the woman with her brunet bob hairdo, light brown eyes and smiling lips answered, "I was just taking care of my customers like usual, preparing coffee and a piece of cake for the young man here as a sign for my appreciation for always watching out for my little Yato, when these men suddenly entered. Just so you know, he is a nursery school teacher at Yato's kindergarten, named Sugawara Koushi. They first bothered the guests with rude remarks and got physical eventually. Suddenly the shorter one pulled out his knife and threatened me to hand over all the money I have, otherwise he would hurt my son. Sugawara-San here managed to free him, pouring his coffee over the man's head and that's when the second one drew his gun and things got out of hand. You saw the rest of the story, Daichi."

He wrote down what she told him and got approval and some more information from the other four customers.

Once the police officer bent down to face the little Yato, said 5-year-old boy exclaimed, "Sugawara-Sensei saved me from the bad men! We often play at kindergarten and he is super nice! Is he okay, mister police officer?"

Before he could answer, a soft tuck on his jacket caught his attention. The moment he turned around, the ash-blond, most likely Sugawara, fell forward, straight into Daichi's chest, leaving everyone shocked. A slight panic erupted in the officer and for the first time in forever, he didn't know what to do. Not to mention that he held an unconscious person in his arms. Yui immediately called an ambulance, while Daichi sat down, holding onto the young man on his lap. Help arrived only a few minutes later, Sugawara was laid down onto a stretcher and got carried to the ambulance. However, he was holding onto Daichi's hand so tightly, that he was sort of forced to accompany him to the hospital. Not that he minded that, since he was genuinely worried about the stranger's wellbeing.  
 _What am I even doing here? I don't even know this guy, yet I'm already completely attracted to him! Iwaizumi will kill me for sure..._

With these thoughts flooding his head, he sat down next to the unconscious man, holding his hand all the time, until they had to part, once they arrived at their destination.


	2. Chapter 2: Another Day

**Chapter 2: Another day**

A whole day later, the young ash-blond woke up to the sunlight pouring into the room, right into his face. He blinked a few times, while trying to adjust to the brightness of the light. _Where am I and how did I get here?_

The room he was in was painted completely white, only a few pictures and light blue curtains added some colour and life to the room, his comfortable bed stood next to the big window and a bouquet of white Lilies was placed in a vase on the brown little bedside table. A small wardrobe was situated next to the door and he also had a little bathroom, which door was on the right side of it. As he let his gaze wander around the room, he noticed an unfamiliar man slumped together in the blue armchair. His sleeping position though, looked really uncomfortable. Sugawara stared at him for a moment before he remembered where he had met him and what happened before. Now that the young male was sleeping, the ash-blond finally had the chance to look at him more closely. The tall police officer had short black hair, tanned skin and a rather masculine face. Right now, he wore black jeans, some reddish chucks and a casual white shirt, which clearly showed off just how muscular his arms and chest were.

 _How can a man be that hot...? He is absolutely gorgeous! God, what am I even thinking?! I just met this man, yet all I can think about is his kind gaze and the way he touched me, when he was supporting me!_ Sugawara blushed heavily as he recalled his dreamy, dark eyes, their proximity earlier and the fact that he had clung onto him, when he had lost his strength in that cafe. Why was this man even sleeping here at what he thought must be the hospital from the look of things? He carefully lifted himself up, however, he flinched from the sudden pain in his chest and wheezed a little too loud.

That sound woke the sleeping Daichi in his chair. After shifting and stretching his arms and legs, his eyes wandered to the bed where Sugawara was resting. After realizing he was awake, the brunet rose from his seat and exclaimed, "Oh, you're finally awake! Are you in pain? Please lay down again, the incident broke three of your ribs and you've hit your head pretty badly."

"That explains why I can't sit up, huh? Did you wait for me?"

His unexpected visitor turned his head away and started to scratch his neck, before he admitted, "Uh, sort of? I-I mean you were in a pretty bad shape yesterday and I was worried. It might seem strange to you, since we only met yesterday, but I feel really guilty that I didn't step in sooner and I wanted to talk to you... By the way, I'm Sawamura Daichi, you can call me whatever you prefer."

"I'm Sugawara Koushi. Suga's fine with me. Thank you for saving me and keeping me company. I'm pleased to meet you!" Following that statement, he started to smile that big, brilliant smile of his, which sent Daichi's heart soaring higher. To cover up his embarrassment the brunet excused himself to get a doctor. Since he wasn't part of his family, he waited outside of the room while the doctor examined him.

Upon entering the room, the elderly woman asked with a smile, "It's good to see you awake Sugawara-San. How are you feeling?"

"Still a little worn out and it hurts to move, but I can handle it."

His doctor nodded and explained, "I'm sure your friend already told you a few things, but I'll explain everything anyway. Sawamura-San escorted you to the hospital and he stayed for the whole day and this morning to watch over you. I assumed that you two must be close, seeing how worried he was, so I approved. The head injury turned out to be a mild concussion, however it's nothing major. However, the injuries to your ribs are a different case. Three of them on the right side of your rib cage are broken and it will take you up to twelve weeks to recover. Probably a few weeks more because all damaged ones are on the same side. Luckily, no other organs or blood vessels were hurt in the process. You should rest during your daily life as well. Ill prescribe you some strong painkillers, but it still might be excruciating."

The ash-blond needed a moment to take it all in, but nodded in resignation. He asked in a calm voice, "How long do I have to stay here and for how long won't I be able to go to work? I'm a nursery school teacher, for your information."

After a moment, the woman said, "We'd like to keep you at least for two more days. I can't say for sure, how much time it will take. In four or five weeks, your ribs will develop a so-called callus, which will keep your ribs in place, however, you won't be able to strain yourself. Since handling children means a lot of burden to your body, I recommend you get back to health at first. Find a solution with your company."

Following that, she explained some more steps and precautions, gave him advice for his daily life and told him about consequences, which might occur like painful breathing or coughing. Sugawara assumed that the next few months would get tough on him.


	3. Chapter 3: First Loss

**Chapter 3: First loss**

After half an hour, later Daichi was allowed in the room again. Awkward silence hung between the two men and neither one of them knew how to break it.

Daichi was the first to speak up in the end, "So, uh, should I call your family or someone else? You probably want to spend time with somebody you're familiar with instead of some random stranger."

Suga lowered his head and frowned for a moment and a hint of sorrow was visible in his clear, hazel-brown eyes. _Oh shit! Did I just hit a sore point? He looks so terribly pained…_ Not knowing what he was supposed to do now, the brunet pulled him into a soft embrace. While rubbing circles on his back, he whispered, "I'm sorry, did I say too much? I didn't mean to hurt you!" The ash-blond returned the sudden hug carefully and tried hard to blink back his tears. They stayed like that for a little while, until Sugawara calmed down again.

He whispered, "I've got no family left to care enough about me... It's complicated and I don't feel like talking about it. Please don't take this personally - I truly appreciate everything you've already done for me. But what about you? I don't mean to be rude, but don't you have to get to work again? The doctor told me that you spent the whole afternoon and even the night here in the hospital."

"Ah, I have the day off, actually. I finished everything related to yesterday's assault and my colleague took over my shift today. Does my visit trouble you?"

Before Suga could answer, the ringing of a phone interrupted their conversation. Daichi looked slightly troubled, excused himself and went into another corner of the room to answer the call.

It was Iwaizumi.

"Daichi, you're still in that hospital, am I right? I'm sorry to disturb you, but we've got some big trouble on our hands. I need you to listen to me now, buddy."

Feeling a sudden unease due to his friend's serious tone - even more serious than he usually is - the brunet gulped and asked, "What's going on? Did something happen?"

After Iwaizumi took in a deep breath, he confessed, "Tooru called me today. The kindergarten, he works in was under attack by a homicidal stranger." Those words alone set Daichi in a panic. He gulped nervously, leaned against the wall and tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever was coming for him.

"That bastard was absolutely crazy, he claimed that Tooru and the others there stole his lover and bull crap like that. At first the staff tried to calm him down and force him to leave, however none of them were successful. At some point it got physical, he attacked the guys. Luckily the kids sensed the danger and ran away, hiding in another room. From what I was told, this bastard pulled out a gun and threatened to use it, if they weren't handing over his lover. Tooru didn't budge of course, you know him. He wouldn't sell off his friends and colleagues even if his own life was on the line, so he stalled as much time as he could. Unfortunately, it didn't go as smoothly as planned. One of the kids tried to meddle as well, apparently to protect her friends and teachers."

Iwaizumi paused for a moment, he obviously struggled to continue with his speech.

"Please don't tell me what I think you want to say!" Daichi begged. Cold sweat ran down his spine and he grew paler by the minute. He was so tense that he didn't notice the stares he received from Sugawara and a nurse who had entered the room to give her patient some medicine.

"Daichi… Sachiko intervened. Yaku tried to stop her, but she clung onto the attacker's arm, before anyone could have done something. That bastard shoved her away and released a shot by accident. That incident allowed us to capture him, but… Sachiko — She… I'm so sorry! God, I really don't want to do this… The paramedics worked diligently to save her, but it was in vain. She died on the spot."

Hearing that, Daichi's world stopped rotating in an instant. The brunet was overcome with a sudden wave of dizziness and collapsed onto his knees. He let go of his phone and grabbed onto his chest, feeling an intense pain in his heart. His heart literally broke upon hearing this terrible news. Tears streamed down his cheeks and his muffled sobs could be heard.

"No... No, no, no, no, no! My little Sachiko... I - I should have protected her! It was my one fucking job!" He croaked more to himself than anyone else.

Sachiko Sawamura. Daichi's 4-year-old daughter. Her mother died shortly after her birth and he had promised to raise and love her alone. They never were married or anything and the pregnancy took both by surprise, but they were happy anyway. Now that his little angel was gone, too, he had no one left. He was all alone again. The sudden realization and following shock knocked him out completely.

Witnessing that, the nurse rushed out of the room to get a doctor, while Suga climbed carefully out of his bed to watch over his new friend. The ash-blond had no idea what had caused his sudden breakdown, but he was extremely worried. He picked up his cell phone and heard a loud voice shouting his friend's name.

"Uh, hello. This is Sugawara Koushi speaking. Sawamura-San collapsed just now. A doctor is tending to him at the moment."

Iwaizumi calmed down slightly and answered, "Oh. Thank you for telling me. I assume you're the young man, he has been taking care of since yesterday?"

"Yes, that's right. I'm sorry if I'm troubling you somehow! Now it's my turn to look after him I guess. That's the least I could do now to repay him for his kindness."

The police officer smiled to himself and asked him to do just that. _I don't know why, but I get the feeling that it will all work out some way or another. Both of them are equally worried about each other, I think that's a good sign. Maybe their meeting was really meant to be._ Iwaizumi thought to himself after ending the call.


	4. Chapter 4: Distractions

**Warning: Smut ahead!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Distraction**

"Iwa-Chan, did you just call me by my first name on the phone! You really love me, don't you?" Oikawa Tooru chirped happily.

"Oh, shut up, Trashykawa! This is a serious issue here!"

Despite his pouty look and harsh words, Iwaizumi let his boyfriend held him in a soft embrace from behind. The slightly taller man nuzzled his face into Iwaizumi's spiky black hair and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. He knew how stressed out and guilty he felt, after witnessing his close friend's daughter die. Hence, he took the remaining three days of the week off, to process everything that had happened. Oikawa himself had been absolutely terrified and enraged at the same time, not only because this little girl had been under his care for quite a while now, but also because he wasn't able to protect one of his angels.

"I'm sure it's tough on you as well. Who would have thought such a tragedy would happen in such a small town in the countryside? I don't know her father as well as you do, but I do want to help him get through this. We can only support Sawamura-San with his grieving until he finds it in him to go on with his life. As tough as it sounds. Please don't blame yourself for what happened to the poor girl."

These words brought a little smile to Iwaizumi's lips. Even though his lover could act like a huge idiot and child sometimes, times like these proved him just how reliable and serious he actually was. Still, he was worried about Daichi's wellbeing because he knew how attached he was to Sachiko. However, Iwaizumi agreed with him at that point and just hoped that his friend wouldn't do anything stupid all alone.

"Daichi collapsed when I told him everything… Apparently he is still in the hospital, visiting this guy I told you about. He introduced himself as Sugawara Koushi and he seemed genuinely concerned about him."

Upon hearing that, the brunet's eyes widened, and he asked, "Seriously?! He is one of my employees and also the person this crazy killer was asking for! Oh god… If Sawamura finds out, he will surely hate Suga! That's not good at all! He went through so much already…"  
His words trailed off at the end and a look of pure concern got visible in his chocolate brown eyes. Iwaizumi didn't like what he just learned about either. Hopefully, Daichi wouldn't hear about it too soon... As he was lost in his thoughts, Iwaizumi grabbed tightly onto his lover's hands, shaking slightly. He needed to get his mind off the things that tortured him since yesterday and Tooru sensed just that.

To achieve that, he turned Iwaizumi around, wrapped his arms around the black-haired's neck and slowly send playful kisses down his cheeks, nose and forehead. Iwaizumi's face flushed in a slight pink and he pulled his lover closer.

"Oh, are we all needy now?" Oikawa teased him.

"Stop talking for a moment and kiss me already, you idiot"

With a smile on his face, the brunet drew nearer and pressed his lips softly against Iwa-Chans. His lover kissed him back, becoming a bit rougher after some time. Once their lips moved apart, Oikawa whispered, "But, I'm your idiot. Forever!"

This single statement lit a fire inside of Iwaizumi, so he lifted him up and stomped straight to their bedroom. Without hesitation, he threw him onto the bed, climbed on top of him and went back to kissing him. He licked Oíkawa's lower lip and slowly entered his mouth. Their tongues started mingling together, making both of them hotter by the minute. While Iwaizumi was busy exploring his lover's mouth, his hands wandered slowly up and down his well build chest. A soft moan escaped Oikawa once they separated to catch their breath. Iwaizumi stared at him with his eyes full of passion.

"Shit, Hajime… Where did you learn to kiss like that? I hope you plan on taking responsibility of what you're causing right now!" The brunet mumbled with his cheeks painted in a deep red.

The black-haired moaned right into his ears, "Huh, I learned from the best. Some jerk named Tooru. Just so you know, I'm going to take care of you for the rest of my life, Tooru, I love you, idiot."

Following that, he showered him in wet and sloppy kisses starting from his jawline, slowly wandering down his now exposed chest. Oikawa gasped slightly as he felt a hand slide into his pants, slightly regretting his earlier comment. After leaving plenty of hickeys all over Oíkawa's chest, his hungry lover went even further down. Now completely unable to restrain his voice any longer, the brunet moaned loud in pleasure while gripping tightly onto Iwaizumi's hair, while his other arm covered his beet red face. Soon both men got lost in their lust for each other. They wouldn't leave the bedroom for a long time - only their screams echoed through their shared apartment.

At least for some time, they were able to forget the horrors of the previous day.


	5. Chapter 5: A new home

**Chapter 5: A new home**

Three days after the shocking assault, Sawamura Daichi stood in the waiting room of the hospital, he had visited frequently for the past few days. Not only to identify his deceased daughter, but also to spend time with Sugawara. His company kind of prevented him from losing his mind. Though they hadn't talked about his sudden breakdown, they still managed to come up with new topics to talk about. Like this, they gradually got to know a little more about each other.

Today was the day of his discharge from the hospital and Daichi had promised to pick him up. He even offered to take him in until he was fully recovered, since both men were living alone now. The nurse who also took care of the broken father brought the newly dismissed ash-blond to the front entrance.

"Thank you for looking after Sugawara-San. Please make sure to remember him to rest properly. He shouldn't do any hard physical work for at least four months. Here is a list of the medicine he has to take to ease the pain. I'm truly sorry that I have to burden you with all of that, however, since he hasn't any family to watch out for him, were really glad that he has such nice friends."

Suga appeared to be slightly embarrassed as he shifted uncomfortably from one leg to another, hearing all of these things, but Daichi just smiled politely and took his bag.

"I can carry that! It's not that heavy or anything, really!" He exclaimed. The brunet ignored his remark, said goodbye to the nurse and went to open the door for his friend. Still a bit pouting, he followed him outside to his car. It was a light-blue family car, covered in a few flower stickers. _Maybe he has got a family of his own? Oh no, I don't want to intrude if that's the case!_ A panic rose in the ash-blond and he began to fidget when Daichi opened the passenger door of his car.

"Is something wrong, Suga? Are you in pain right now?" He asked, seeing how he twiddled his thumps.

"I'm afraid if I'm intruding at your place… Is this really alright with you?" Sugawara eyed the big car in front of him and Daichi finally understood.

While averting his gaze, he confessed, "Don't worry about it. I'm living alone now. You see, I lost my family. I had a little four-year-old daughter, but lost her in an incident recently. Her mother died after her birth as well." The ash-blond gasped in shock, he hadn't expected that such a tragedy had happened to such a friendly, caring and gentle guy. Even though he tried to cover up how hurt he was, Suga could clearly sense the immense sorrow he went through. Without a second thought, he pulled the brunet into an embrace and rubbed circles softly onto his broad back. Daichi froze up for a second, yet he let his guard down and wrapped his own arms carefully around Suga's slender body. Quiet sobs erupted from the brunet's throat and tears started soaking Sugawara's shoulder.

"She was only four years old! I knew that she imagined me to be some kind of hero, stopping the bad guys and all. My colleague told me that she tried to act like one as well, but it got her shot! My poor little angel…"

Daichi's words were scarcely audible, but Suga heard everything. He couldn't imagine how it must feel like to lose someone that precious, since he was always alone in his childhood with no caring parents, however, seeing how devastated his friend was, made him tear up as well. They stayed like that for a moment before they separated again. Daichi thanked him in a soft voice and helped him to get into the car. They were both quiet during the drive, but they sat in a comfortable silence. In fact, it was such a relaxing atmosphere that the ash-blond slowly drifted off to sleep. Half an hour later the car came to a stop. A light shake woke the sleeping man from his slumber. Suga grumbled a little, refusing to open his eyes.

"Hey sleepyhead. At least get out of the car and sleep in a proper bed. This isn't a good place for an injured person to rest!"

In the end, he pried his eyes open, rubbed them and tried to get out of the seat. Unfortunately, he forgot about his broken ribs and got up far too hasty, only to be met with severe pain. He grabbed onto Daichi's shirt to steady his footing again. The brunet immediately reacted with a supporting grip and he waited patiently until the pain subsided. As soon as he regained his breath, Daichi took Suga's bag out of the trunk and prompted him to follow him up a cute little way of natural stone slabs. The house itself was a small traditional Japanese home with a black roof. The walls were covered in a white panelling and single dark brown panels surrounded the huge windows and the edges of each wall. Overall, it looked like a very cosy place on the outskirts of town. It was a nice change of pace from all the hustle and bustle of Tokyo and it seemed to be a truly nice place for kids with all the greenery and the big garden behind the building.

Once he stepped into his temporary new home, he slipped off his shoes and whispered, "Excuse the intrusion." As Suga was following Daichi around the house, the ash-blond realized that his interior was basic and straightforward without many decorations or knickknacks.  
 _This place represents the Daichi that I got to know by now. Only a few pictures, flowers and probably souvenirs from previous trips are proof of him living here_ Sugawara thought to himself.

Four rooms were accessible from the main corridor, a stylish, modern kitchen, with red coloured shelves, a red kitchen unit and a dining table designed for four people was on the left side. Across from it was a light flooded living room with a huge white couch, a big flatscreen TV on a flat shelf, surrounded by two big bookshelves on each side of the television. A brown coffee table stood in front of the couch and a few shelves with dishware, souvenirs and pictures framed the room. In the end Daichi showed him to his bedroom, which was of a similar simple design: a king-sized bed with purple bedding was in the centre of the room. A black, wooden desk stood in front of the huge window, neatly organized as well. His wardrobe had its own corner in the cosy room and colourful pictures and flowers decorated the room. The modern bathroom was right next to the bedroom and it even provided a tub, definitely big enough for two people.

By the end of the little tour Suga realized that they had avoided the room left to Daichi's bedroom and he assumed that it must be the room of his daughter. He understood completely why he hadn't mentioned it and decided to leave this room alone.

"Would you like some tea, Suga? You're probably tired after your stay in the hospital bed for the last few days."

"Oh, that would be nice... May I help you? You've done so much for me already..." Both men went to the kitchen where Daichi started with brewing tea while Suga prepared some light snacks to go with it. Fifteen minutes later they sat down in the beautiful flower garden in the back to enjoy their tea time. Casual small talk lightened the mood and the time went by in a blink.

In the end, it didn't take long for Suga to grow familiar with his sudden unfamiliar environment and Daichi's lifestyle and it helped both of their mental states after the losses each of them had to suffer.


	6. Chapter 6: Truth

**Chapter 6: Truth**

Five weeks had passed since Suga's unexpected move to Daichi's place. Being housemates was quite awkward at first with both of them not knowing how to act. However, they soon developed a new daily routine which helped them grow closer. Suga was the one doing the cooking and helped with cleaning duties, while Daichi often got up early in the mornings to go to work and return rather late in the afternoon with groceries, depending on his shift of course. All the while they lived together Daichi also realized that his new friend was suffering from severe depression. Sadly, he had to learn about it the hard way.

On a stormy night, the brunet was woken up by an ear-piercing scream coming from inside his apartment. Due to him being a light sleeper, he bolted straight out of his bed and rushed into the bedroom next door with his weapon in hand. The ash-blond was sitting in his bed, clutched his head and was shaking horribly. "Suga, what's wrong?! Did something happen?"

As the terrified man didn't reply at all, the brunet sat down on the edge of the bed, softly grasping his trembling hands. Only the quiet sobs broke through the uncomfortable silence, since neither of them knew what to say. Daichi embraced his friend, hoping it would calm him down again. It kind of became a normal habit for the both of them whenever one of them became too stressed out or had a little breakdown for whatever the reason may be. However, seeing him in such a terrible state was a first for the brunet. Once he regained his composure, Daichi went to offer him a glass of water.

"It was only a dream… Just a dream…" Suga muttered under his breath, most likely to convince himself of the fact. Right now, his eyes were bloodshot, his skin was absolutely pale, and he looked as if he just went through hell and back. The ash-blond started to rub his slender arms, stared out of the window and his mind seemed to be far, far away as he mumbled incomprehensible things. Throughout the whole affair, Daichi observed him carefully. He realized that his situation must be worse than he expected, since he happened to witness Suga taking meds on a daily basis, other than his painkillers as well in the time they lived together.

 _So, my suspicion was correct... From what Iwaizumi told me, he had been in serious trouble before, which traumatized him somehow. I guess this proves what he had told me to be true… Should I just ask him about it? Would he even tell me?_ The brunet thought to himself.

"Here goes nothing… Suga, would you mind telling me what happened? I don't like seeing you like this and I truly want to help you." Although he was a bit nervous, he asked anyway — in the nicest and calmest voice he could bring up.

Sugawara chewed on his lower lip and hesitated at first, but decided to share his painful memories. "I, I don't know... It's not a nice topic. Remember the little talk we had in the hospital about my relatives? My father… he was a violent psycho. He drank for as long as I can think, and my mom wasn't really supportive either. He abused me physically, locked me up and even refused to feed me from time to time when I tried to stand up against him. It was due to my few friends in the neighbourhood, that I was able to escape this hell, but it took years — until high school to be honest."

He paused for a moment to watch Daichi for his reaction. On the other hand, he also needed a moment to collect himself again before he continued with his story.

"I had problems in socializing with others and my first and only boyfriend helped me a lot. I got a little better, but noticed far too late that he was a possessive and terrifying person. I moved from Sendai to Tokyo to escape his craziness and Oikawa and some of our friends supported me to get over it. Sometimes I still have nightmares about it…"

Sugawara was staring at his hands and started shaking again, while Daichi tried to comprehend everything he just learned about his housemate. He couldn't even imagine how his life must have been like and what it caused inside of his fragile soul. Once he thought about it, he also realized something entirely different.

"I don't think you need to worry about your ex anymore. I believe he is the same homicidal maniac we arrested while you had been in the hospital. Some blond bastard by the name of Homura attacked the kindergarten you told me about, claiming the staff took away his lover. He was put in jail for the assault and murder."

Sugawara gasped in shock upon hearing that and felt himself getting dizzy. He technically had found him again! If it weren't for his friends and Daichi's colleagues as well as the incident in that café, he probably would be held captive by now! Homura even went as far as killing innocents and worse than that he did murder a child! As he realized who was killed, his eyes started watering and he grabbed tightly onto the brunet's shoulders.

"Oh god, it's all my fault! If it wasn't for me, your little princess wouldn't be dead! I understand if you want me to leave, I will go back to my place as soon as you go to work…"

Yet, Daichi didn't blame him at all for what happened. How could he? Sugawara was a victim as well, no matter what. Thinking about what this bastard would have done to Suga sent shivers down his spine and he confessed, "What happened to my daughter is a terrible thing, but that doesn't mean that I care less about you, knowing that he was after you. After all, I'm just relieved that he didn't hurt you any further. Don't blame yourself, because I don't blame anyone as well. Please calm down, okay? You don't have to leave, but I won't stop you, if that's what you wish." His soothing voice did wonders and soon enough the ash-blond drifted off to sleep still lying in Daichi's arms. Since he now didn't dare to move away, he laid down next to him and fell asleep feeling Sugawara's warmth.


	7. Chapter 7: Blossoming Destiny

**Chapter 7: Blossoming Destiny**

The chirping of birds and the warm sunlight shining through the curtains wakened Sugawara on the next morning. He shifted drowsily to his side to be met a rather familiar texture underneath his hands. Still in a daze, he caressed the smooth surface without thinking. After some more minutes of dozing off, Suga opened his eyes again and let his gaze finally around. Soft snoring could be heard coming from right next to him. As he looked down, he was met with the sight of a sleeping Daichi. Not only was his sleeping face absolutely adorable and handsome, he was also wearing nothing but his boxers! Suga gasped upon seeing his defined muscles up close and blushed furiously the moment he realized that he had touched his bare chest earlier.  
 _He looks gorgeous... And it feels so nice to be close to him…_

A smile crept up his face and he found himself to be pretty lucky to be greeted by such a nice sight, especially after his breakdown yesterday. As Sugawara tried to move away, Daichi stirred in his sleep and pulled the ash-blond closer to him. Again, heat rose to Suga's cheeks, however, he quickly relaxed in his arms, since it didn't seem like Daichi was letting go any time soon. Suga felt his hands softly tracing his slender back and it sent quite the shivers down his spine. It wasn't unpleasant though. He rather enjoyed the gently touches and he felt truly secured, so he decided to simply savour the moment of piece and warmth. Quite some time passed until Daichi awoke as well and it took him a bit to realize in what kind of situation he was right now. Sugawara had fallen asleep again, his head laid on Daichi's shoulder and he had his arms softly wrapped around the brunet's waist. He smiled tenderly and brushed Suga's bangs out of his face. Not a single trace of the horrors from the previous night was visible on his now peaceful, smiling face.

 _He looks just like an angel… Meeting him was probably one of the best things that ever happened in my life!_

Sawamura was starting to fall more and more in love with this man, although he didn't recognise this welling desire inside of his heart as love, yet. After all, he had never been in love before. With a look at his alarm clock, he froze up for a second because they had completely overslept! Today was the day when Suga was allowed to go back to work again and Daichi had promised him to drop him of at his work place.

So ne nudged the sleeping beauty next to him and whispered, "Hey sleepyhead, we have to get up or else we will be late!"

Sugawara grunted disapprovingly and needed a moment more to get up. Once he noticed that he had wrapped himself around the brunet's body, he pushed himself away with a bit too much force and knocked himself out if the bed in the process. His (sexy) housemate went to his side to help him up again and calmed him down, saying that he wasn't mad at him for the cuddling after yesterday night's events. It still embarrassed both guys, after all both of them were slowly developing romantic feelings for the other.  
In the end they started their daily routine with taking turns to shower and brush their teeth, prepared a light breakfast, and got ready for work.

This morning for the first time since his release from hospital, Suga accompanied him on his way to his workplace, since Suga's kindergarten was on his way as well. Luckily, he was allowed to go back to work again, he only had to avoid lifting heavy stuff and the kids and too much running around. As chance would have it, he was also an employee at the kindergarten, where Sachiko once went to, so Daichi knew this place very well.

When they reached their destination, Daichi left his car as well and opened the door for Suga and offered him a hand as well — just like the gentleman he was. The ash-blond smiled bashfully, took his hand and climbed out of the car. Unfortunately, Sugawara stumbled across his own feet and fell straight into the brunet's chest — again. Needless to say, Daichi caught him, wrapped his arm around Suga's waist and asked worriedly, "Whoa, are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Thank you for catching me. Seems like I fall for you quite often, huh?" he joked, though his face was beet red anyway. Both of them stayed like that for a moment, silently staring into each other's eyes. A whistling pulled the love-struck men back to reality, which let them realize how close they had been right now, even in public. The young parents who walked passed the sweet scenario smiled as well, since both guys were pretty well known in this part of town for their great work and kind and caring personalities. After all, Sugawara and Daichi looked like a great couple and both of them deserved some happiness according to most people's view of things.

"Well hello there, lovebirds! I didn't mean to interrupt your intimate little moment, but I need to remind you about where you are right now!"

Oikawa-San greeted them with an amused grin and his hands on his hips. With bright red faces, the men in question pulled apart from each other and straightened their posture again. Sugawara scratched the back of his head and stuttered, "I'm sorry! I just stumbled and Sawamura-Kun helped me up! It won't happen again in front of the kids!"

His employer smiled, ruffled the ash-blond's hair and assured him, "Nah, don't sweat it, Suga-Chan! I'm just happy to see you well and in a good mood again! We will make sure to warn the kids about your injuries, but I'm sure they'll all understand. After all, they love their teacher here a whole lot! Thank you for taking care of him, Sawamura-San."

Daichi responded with a kind smile and little nod after shaking hands with him. He was familiar with his annoying personality, since he was the long-time-boyfriend of his colleague and good friend Hajime, so he was kind of used to his antics by now. In the end, he bid them farewell and went back to his car to get to work as well. Through the open window he said, "Please be careful, Suga-Kun! I'll take care of tonight's dinner, so take it easy and have a lovely day. See you later!"

With that, he drove off again and left Sugawara and Oikawa alone at the kindergarten. In fact, he actually wasn't very comfortable with this place. It reminded him too much of his loss and it hurt immensely, though he tried to play it off, so that his housemate wouldn't worry about him as well. Living with Suga helped him to get over it, simply because he was never really alone now. While Daichi was getting lost in his own thoughts and thoughts about his beautiful housemate, the ash-blond entered his work place where he was immediately greeted by his 3 colleagues.

The newest and youngest member was the 22-year-old Hinata Shouyou, a relatively short and slender guy, with wild, orange hair, clear brown eyes and a lively, loud and friendly personality.

Yaku Morisuke was the same age as Sugawara — 25 years old. He was rather short too, had light brown, short hair as well as light brown eyes and he was a supportive and caring, yet strict young man. Suga and Yaku had been friends for a few years now, they even shared a room when they were studying. Since both of them had pretty similar personalities they got along since high school.

His third colleague was a quiet young woman with blond, shoulder long hair and a cute ponytail on her left sight. Her name was Yachi Hitoka and she was a good friend of Hinata. Apparently, she had managed the volleyball club in which he had played during high school and he got way more confident due to his bright and straightforward character.

All three of them were especially good with kids, just like Sugawara, and they brought quite the popularity to Oikawa-Sans kindergarten.

Oikawa himself was a tall, confident and serious person, even though he showed more than often just how childish and clingy he could be. He had dark, chocolate-brown hair that's swept outwards and eyes of corresponding colour. His nice and muscular build caused him popularity among the mothers, however, they soon gave up on their flirting attempts as soon as it got around that he was engaged with his former childhood friend who was now his lover.

Being back here, surrounded by his friends was something that reassured Sugawara greatly and he thought of himself as truly blessed. The quirky ginger nearly jumped his older colleague out of joy and exclaimed, "I'm so happy that you're back, Suga-San! The kids really missed you and we were absolutely shocked after we heard about the assault in that café that got you involved! I was worried sick, even though you called often!"  
The young nursery school teacher really looked up to Sugawara and respected him greatly, so hearing about his senior getting seriously injured had an impact on his life as well.

Yaku pulled the energetic Hinata away and scolded him, "Be more careful, Hinata! Just like you said, he was injured, and he is still recovering. He is still not allowed to move around too much and he has to take it one step at a time."

With a look at his friend, he asked, "Are you alright, Koushi? This hug didn't hurt you, did it?"

Before the ash-blond could answer, Oikawa joined in, "Oh, I believe you don't need to worry too much about things like that. In fact, I just witnessed something steamy outside!" Following that remark, the other men stared at him, completely speechless.

Sugawara blushed a deep red, waved his arms around in a full panic and yelled, "THATS NOT TRUE! Tooru, stop spreading nonsense! I'm not in a relationship with _Daichi._ " All of them simply smiled upon hearing that, because his reaction alone proved that he definitely had a thing for said person. In the end, the stopped their conversation and went to prepare for their day of work. Once the tables were set, the play area was tidied up and snacks as well as tea were prepared, the four nursery school teacher went to their own break and changing room to change into more comfortable clothes with the kindergartens logo. They engaged into casual small talk, until Oikawa noticed that his injured co-worker seemed to struggle with putting on his shirt. He stepped in front of him and helped him wordlessly to get out of his sweater. It let Sugawara realize once more, that moving his body was still painful for him and he warned himself to be more cautious.

His own thoughts distracted the ash-blond, so he never noticed the tiny stare he got from his employer and friend, Oikawa. A tiny, white lily together with a black orchid had found its way onto Suga's chest. The mark, which proved that Suga had found his soulmate.

Oikawa thought with a smile on his face, _So, it really was fate, huh?_


	8. Chapter 8: Realisation

**Chapter 8: Realisation**

After waking up with Suga in his arms, Daichi had been distracted throughout the whole morning. Not only the lingering warmth he still felt on his skin kept his mind busy, but also the image of the ash-blond cuddling up to him brought a blush to his face from time to time. He was certain that Suga's past must have hurt him in the worst possible way, though he couldn't really imagine his pain since he grew up in a warm and loving home. If being close helped him to get over his fears, he was ready to stay as long as it might take. After all, he did feel some kind of connection between them.

A smack against his head pulled the daydreamer out of his thoughts.

"DAICHI! Hey, would you be so kind and answer me?! Why are you so out of it today?"

Iwaizumi was staring at his friend in concern and annoyance at the same time, while waiting for a response.

"Oh, I'm sorry. What did you just say?"

Suddenly another voice cut into the conversation, "Somebody seems to be lost in thoughts since the shift started. Is it a girl, perhaps? Did Sawamura finally fall for some beauty?"

The voice belonged to Kuroo Tetsuro, a silly, yet serious and tough detective, who just started assisting Tokyo's police department. He usually had his black hair spiked up - a case of really bad bed-hair - with a fringe on his right side that partially covered his eye. Kuroo checked out his new colleague curiously with his narrowed hazel coloured and cat-like eyes. The tall and thin, yet muscular man seemed pretty suspicious the day he arrived due to his sly appearance and his laid-back, provocative and teasing behaviour. To his luck, he was an acquaintance of Daichi from college - they played in the same volleyball team during that time and visited the same classes.

The brunet rolled his eyes and answered, "It's nothing of the sort. I'm just worried about Suga, you know, the guy who temporarily moved in with me. He had a breakdown in the middle of the night and told me a few things. I can't help but think about him and how I should support him now..." Iwaizumi sighed, patted his back and leaned back in his chair.

"I know how caring and supportive you are, but we can't have you losing your focus at work. Shit already went down and I don't want anything like that to happen again, especially when you are not yourself."

The two of them had office duty today and right now, they were supposed to help Kuroo organize collected pieces of evidence in a series of burglaries in the neighbourhood. And Daichi being in a daze wasn't really helping at all. The Rooster Head smirked and thought to himself as he went back to sorting through his files, _I bet he has a crush on that housemate of his. Who else would blush that much while thinking of someone if it wasn't someone precious?_

His friends soon followed suit and started working once again. It was a lot to view, but they managed to finish the task without any further problems. Paperwork was the most hated part of their job, but it had to be done, no matter what.

When lunch break arrived a few hours later, the men retired into the cafeteria of the police station to enjoy a nice meal and some coffee. After they sat down, a text message got the brunets attention.

 _From: Suga_

 _"Hey, I hope you don't forget to eat properly! ^. ^  
If you are wondering: everything is fine here; the kids are nice and careful around me.  
They even made me little drawings as get-well-gifts! So cute! : D  
Sorry about last night again. I didn't want you to see that side of me…"_

Daichi smiled and responded immediately:

 _To: Suga_

" _That's good to know. I'm on break right now with the guys.  
I'm glad that it's working out for you. Don't think about yesterday too much. I'm glad that you opened up to me. If you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I'll always be there for you!"_

Kuroo was secretly creeping up behind his old friend to see what or rather _who_ made him smile just now.

"Well, if that isn't a confession, then I don't know anymore." he teased the brunet.

Just as Daichi tried to deny it, he looked down to re-read his text again and blushed for the umpteenth time this day. It totally sounded like a confession! Hiding his face in his hands, he tried to avoid looking at his two colleagues, who couldn't contain a snicker a by now.

Iwaizumi stated bluntly, "You DO seem to be delighted whenever it's about Sugawara-San. It's been a while since I saw you looking that happy."

Kuroo added, "If you ask me, you should just go for it, Dai-Kun! Ask him on a date or something! It's SO obvious that you like him!"

Now that both males had pointed it out, Daichi started to think more deeply about his own feelings. Since the day they met for the first time, he felt a warm sensation bubbling inside of his heart. Suga's brilliant smile always made his day better, no matter how stressful it had been. Not to mention the fact, that they shared an apartment, so he could see the beautiful angel day after day. On days when they spent time together, whether they were simply relaxing somewhere or did some shopping and took care of the house, his heart was beating loudly in his chest and he had butterflies in his stomach. Even talking with Suga was enough to brighten his day!  
 _I don't mind being close to him and I really want to be closer to him… Hugging and holding him in my arms… Kissing those soft looking lips sounds tempting as well._

Just as he started imagining what both of them could be doing if he really confessed his new-found love, a cough interrupted the bright red brunet.

"Well, I don't want to interrupt your fun time, but we could use your help, gentlemen. Another ambush occurred and this time, the victim was able to lock up the thief. Go and arrest the culprit, so peace can finally return to the neighbourhood."

The older police commissioner had appeared behind them and after giving his orders he added with a warm smile on his face, "No dating until this case is solved, Sawamura-San! I don't want you to get hurt, just because your head is in the clouds somewhere."

Being ashamed that even his boss had witnessed that embarrassing scene, he ducked his head away, emptied his coffee and made his way towards the lockers to retrieve some more equipment, just in case. He didn't manage to eat anything besides some donuts and he already knew that this would earn him an ear full from Suga. Slightly smiling at the thought of his cute, pouty face, he went to the police car, followed by Kuroo and Iwaizumi.

"It's time to catch a criminal, guys!" Daichi shouted and high-fived his friends before starting their mission.


	9. Chapter 9: The matter of soulmates

**Chapter 9: The matter of soulmates**

"OW! Can't you be gentler?!" Daichi yelled at Kuroo.

"Hey, I can't help it! If you had been more careful, we wouldn't be in this mess at all!" the Rooster Head yelled back.

Currently, the young police officers sat in the infirmary of Tokyo's hospital once more, looking after an injured Daichi. Iwaizumi was reporting the outcome of their task to their superior in the meantime. Cause of the current situation was a single second of distraction while dealing with the mugger earlier. Due to that, the culprit had actually been able to release a shot in the brunet's direction, hitting his right shoulder with the bullet. With the caused commotion, the mugger had attempted to flee, but Iwaizumi had been faster and arrested the man in no time.

Luckily, a paramedic was able to remove the bullet without a problem. However, his bones didn't get away unscratched. Being needed for an emergency elsewhere, he ordered Kuroo to clean the area around the wound and wrap it up in bandages, since the Rooster Head, too, had studied medicine and treating injuries for his job.

Since the doctor had used some narcotics, his arm felt quite limp and his mind was slightly foggy as well. If they weren't unlucky enough, the police commissioner showed up after some time, too.

After checking out Sawamura's condition, he mumbled with a sigh, "So much about staying save... Although it didn't go smoothly, you've finished your task and ended this series of mugging with success. Kuroo, Sawamura? Iwaizumi-San informed me already and you did a good job. Sawamura has to take the rest of the day off because of the injury. We will see, how it's going to affect your work, so don't worry too much about it. You're dismissed now."

With that, he left the room again, Kuroo also continued dressing the wound. As he was wiping off some dried blood, he accidentally discovered something entirely different on his colleague's shoulder. A cute white mark in the form of a white lily and orchid embracing each other. Immediately recognizing it as a soul-mark, he softly brushed against it, feeling a calming warmth radiate from it. It confused Daichi and he asked with an arched eyebrow, "What are you doing? Is something wrong? Is it worse than it seemed to be? Don't touch it like that either, I don't need an infection because of your filthy hands!"

Apparently, the brunet hadn't discovered it yet, so Kuroo - like the nice guy he is - decided to keep it a secret. Simply because the Rooster Head knew how surprising, sweet and special it is to realize you met your fated partner.

Instead, he muttered, "I'm disinfecting your arm, so shut up or I'll pinch you, Mr. Responsible. You should be thankful that we've got each other's back, bro. You won't be able, nor allowed to drive a car in your state, so you better call someone."

Daichi knew that he was right about it, so he thanked him for the help before he left the hospital with him. After finally shooing him away, Daichi pulled out his phone and thought to himself.

 _Who to call now... I better don't tell Suga about it now because he will worry to no end about it. I guess that's a good opportunity to get in touch with Asahi again. We haven't seen each other in a while and I just know this idiot is goofing around somewhere instead of focussing on his art._

Eventually, he ended up calling his best friend and former Ace of their old volleyball team, who went to pick him up almost immediately.  
Sitting together in Daichi's car, Azumane Asahi asked him, "How about some coffee? To get your head out of the incident just now. I know a cosy place around the area that just serves the best cakes and other stuff. There we can also meet up with Yuu and Tobio since they work there!"  
The police officer agreed with a nod. Coffee sounded great at the moment and why not meet up with the guys, since he was free now anyway.

Soon they arrived in front of a small, yet popular little coffee shop, called "Asanoya's". From what he heard, it was a combination of Asahi and Nishinoya and it had been Noya's idea since finding his soulmate in the tall, shy guy was a huge deal for him. Once they stepped out of the car, they were greeted by the smell of fresh coffee beans and sweets.

Almost instantly after entering the shop, a small and energetic young man jumped straight at Asahi - literally.

"ASAHI, YOU'RE VISITING!" he yelled.

Another tall male with black, short hair and dark blue eyes in a waiter's uniform tried to stop him from doing so, but his attempts ended in vain and an angry scowl.

Daichi smiled a little at this heartwarming scenario: a tiny guy, yet with a fairly muscular build with wild, spiked up, dark brown hair and a blond streak that fell on his face, clung tightly onto the huge, beet red Asahi. The shy dork had his long, brown hair tied up in a nice-looking bun. The two forgot where they happened to be and just stayed like that for a moment, softly staring into each other's brown eyes.

Only an audible cough from behind the gentle giant pulled the shorter male finally out of his daydream. After Nishinoya finally let go of his embarrassed boyfriend, he noticed the presence of Daichi behind him.

"Whoa, I didn't expect to see you here at such an early time! Did ya get fired or something?" the short guy joked.

With a deadpan expression, Daichi stated, "Nope. I've been shot and not allowed to walk around or drive a car alone."

The three men froze up on the spot, knowing he wasn't joking around with such a scary face. The blacked-haired male, Kageyama Tobio, was the first one to recover from the shock and led his guests to a table by the windows. Following that, Asahi and Daichi ordered some coffee and sweet dumplings.

Thinking it would be rude towards Sugawara, if he kept the story a secret, he pulled out his phone again.

 _[Daichi]: "I'll be back earlier today, we had some trouble at work. Don't worry though. I'm out in town now, would you like something?"_

Shortly after the first message had been sent, a reply arrived:

 _[Suga]: "Oh god, are you alright?! Well, since you're already asking: I would die for some sweet dumplings right now... I didn't have any time to buy some today!"_

The brunet smirked and answered:

 _[Daichi]: "That's funny. I just ordered some at some friend's café!"_

 _[Suga]: "Wha?! No fair, I want some! I hope they are tasty!"_

An amused laugh pulled him out of his little world, causing him to blush a deep shade of red because right now he was stared at by three pairs of eyes.

"Did ya get yourself a girlfriend again? That's definitely the face of a lovestruck man!"

It seems like Daichi was about to get teased for the umpteenth time today, yet he couldn't hide the way he was feeling.

In the end, Daichi just gave up with a soft sigh. Since Kageyama and Nishinoya weren't occupied at the moment, they sat down next to their two friends, eagerly waiting for Daichi to explain himself. However, not without bringing out their orders first.

Finally, the brunet confessed, "I didn't meet any girls, guys. I've only texted the guy who is currently living with me. And he IS dear to me."

Seeing the confusion on Noya's and Kageyama's faces, Asahi explained, "These two met by pure chance a few weeks ago during one of his shifts. He saved this person and decided to look after him until he's back to health again."

They nodded in agreement and Kageyama stated, "I bet that was fate. After all, I met my soulmate when we crashed into each other in a hallway in junior high. Instead of feeling pissed, I was rather mesmerized upon laying my eyes on him. Though it took us a year to reunite again..."

Now it was the other's turn to stare in pure amazement because it was a fact that the raven-haired barely talked about his feelings, yet alone that much with such a gentle expression. It was almost scary!  
Following that, the discussion slowly turned into a competition of who could gush more about their loved one. At one point Kageyama started to swoon about their bedroom activity, only to be interrupted by a high-pitched voice.

"B-Bakageyama, what the heck are you talking about in PUBLIC?! Will you shut up, please?"

Behind the group of friends stood a beet-red ginger who just wanted to disappear in a hole right now. Another familiar ash-blond accompanied him and he tried hard to hide his smirk behind his hand. This sight caused Daichi to grow shy one more.

 _Why is this guy so freaking adorable?! That's just not fair!_

As their conversation had reached a point far beyond embarrassment for everyone present - except for Noya and Suga - they soon dropped the issue with the arrival of the two new faces. Once Hinata calmed down again from the previous embarrassment, he wrapped his slender arms around Kageyama's neck and bent down for a sweet little kiss.

Meanwhile, Suga grabbed a nearby chair and sat down next to Daichi after hugging him softly as a greeting. The brunet, however, flinched slightly due to the increasing pain of his shoulder, hoping that his friend wouldn't notice.

"That's quite the surprise Sawamura-Kun! I never thought I would stop by the same cafe as you. Tooru sent us off to take a break."

A relieved sigh escaped from Daichi's mouth after hearing that.

 _Thankfully, he didn't realize it yet._

The dazzling smile of Suga made him forget about the burning sensation though and he couldn't help but grin as well. The people around them sensed that invisible sweet connection between these two and decided not to interrupt them.

"Hey, would you like to try some?" Daichi asked, pointing towards his dumplings. "It's too much for me anyway."

Feeling timid about sharing food with him like that, Sugawara attempted to deny the offer. It was in vain, since the brunet wouldn't have any of that and forced him to take a bite at the end.

 _Isn't that pretty much what couples do? I kinda enjoy being treated like that though... Nobody has ever been that kind and sweet towards me. Why should anyone do that anyway?_

The ash-blond started scratching his neck and avoided Daichi's shining dark brown to hide these happy thoughts. Daichi sensed the change in his mood and whispered into his ear with his deep voice - not knowing what it caused inside Suga's heart, "Are you alright there, Suga-Kun? Your face is red."

 _You idiot, it's all your fault! Please don't get any closer to me!_ The ash-blond cursed in his mind. His heart was beating away in his chest, while he tried to come up with a plausible excuse. As he failed to answer the question, the brunet leaned even closer and put his hand gently against his forehead to check his temperature.

"You don't seem to have a fever... Are you perhaps in pain? You didn't overexert yourself, did you?"

Whereas Daichi wasn't able to realize the growing shyness in his precious friend, the others at the table couldn't believe just how dense their old team captain actually was.

Noya whispered, "How can that man be so oblivious? He usually is such a sharp and serious person!"

"I think Oikawa-San knows something too. He has been pretty suggestive in his remarks towards Sugawara-San today!" Hinata responded in a hushed voice. The four of them exchanged some looks and shook their heads in disbelief upon Daichi's clueless behaviour. ' _This could really take a while.'_ was the only thought that ran through their minds as they enjoyed a nice meal together.

* * *

 **I'd like to thank everyone for following my story so far! I'm really happy, that someone is enjoying what I enjoy writing and imagining! Have a nice day!**


	10. Chapter 10: Friendship and Love

**Chapter 10: Friendship and love**

Quite some time had passed after the unexpected reunion at the cafe. Sugawara had managed to calm down in the meantime and started to simply revel in in the sweet atmosphere. It was possibly the most romantic time Sugawara ever had, though it wasn't really Daichi's intention. The brunet wasn't even aware of that!

Later on, the two nursery school teachers were the first to leave the café to return to work. With a look at his watch, the ginger haired yelled, "Suga-San, we have to go! We have to hurry or else we will be late!" Without much hesitation, he rose from his seat and kissed his boyfriend on the lips before bolting out of the cafe. Kageyama blushed at his bold sneak-attack and earned a snicker from the rest of the group. Sugawara got up as well and went to hug Daichi to say goodbye. Since hugging was now kind of a part of their daily life, he actually didn't think about it anymore. Sure, it took him by surprise at the beginning, but he liked the contact. Especially because his housemate was so incredibly hot and well build! Not that he would ever confess that.

For just a moment, the brunet caught himself staring dreamily into Suga's hazel-brown eyes. He had the gentlest look on his face and lifted his hand absentmindedly to caress the ash-blond's cheek. The next moment, he leaned down, only to stop right before their lips could touch. While Sugawara was beet red, Daichi realized what he was about to do and he stepped back immediately. He covered his face with his hand in an effort to hide the blush and mumbled the most awkward goodbye mixed with some apologies. Suga then waved goodbye to the rest of the group and fled from the coffee shop, almost running into the door as he looked back one more time to glance at Daichi. As if that wasn't enough already, he also bumped into someone outside of the shop. It was Hinata, fortunately.

"Sugawara-San are you alright? What's wrong?" he asked while throwing his flushed friend a worried glance.

The ginger helped him to steady his stance and couldn't help but think that his colleague had changed after meeting his saviour. Everything about his behaviour seemed different to before! On the other hand, he didn't look so sad and lonely anymore. For the first time since befriending Sugawara he could see his eyes and his whole being shining brightly and a warm and happy aura surrounded him. Since the ash-blond refused to confess the truth, he waved it off with a little smile and started walking back to the kindergarten instead.

 _Oh my god! Did he just try to kiss me?! He was so close to me too! My heart is beating like crazy now…_ His head was completely up in the clouds as both men were on their way, so Suga didn't listen to Hinata's constant chatter at all. All of a sudden, a completely unexpected question pulled Sugawara out of his daydreaming.

"Now then, do you like that Sawamura guy? I mean like, _love_ him?"

Hinata was so straightforward with his question that it threw the poor ash-blond of track. It's not like he wasn't fond of the cute and caring brunet and he enjoyed every minute they spent together. However, admitting that he was starting to fall more and more in love with this man seemed to be difficult for Suga. Did he deserve someone as gentle, caring and supportive as Daichi? Was he even worthy of such a man? His thoughts and feelings began to shake him up way too much and the ginger realized that he just made a terrible mistake.

 _Oh shit! I should have stayed quiet! Why does he look so heartbroken and conflicted now?!_

Hinata asked himself as he watched his Senpai breaking into a panic. They reached the kindergarten in the meantime and were soon greeted by a lively bunch of children. Their presence was enough to interrupt Suga's train of disturbing thoughts and he immediately put on that all too familiar smile of his. The time went by in the blink of an eye and every now and then Sugawara wore an awfully pained expression, though he believed that it was unnoticed by those around him. His colleagues caught him occasionally and started to worry. Unfortunately, Hinata wasn't aware of his painful past and the lasting effects he had from that time.

At the end of the day, Sugawara watched as the last child got picked up by their parents. The couple hugged the little one together, emitting undeniable love for each other.

 _How nice... At least I can help these tiny creatures form wonderful memories of their childhood. They are all so happy..._ He bid them farewell with a kind smile and returned to the break room. Yaku, Oikawa and Hinata had already finished tidying up and cleaning the mess caused by the children and sat together chatting amongst themselves.

"Oi, Kou-Chan! Come sit down with us! It's been a while, so let's just talk about life and stuff!" Oikawa chirped happily while pulling out a chair for his friend to sit.

Said person shook his head and muttered, "I'd like to go home now, if it is okay with you. Today has been really tiring, seeing how long I had to take a break."  
He did sound exhausted, but one look at his eyes proofed that something else must be bothering him a well. Sensing that, Yaku took the hint and followed him quietly to the lockers.

While Sugawara was changing back into his sweater, Yaku cornered him and asked, "Koushi. I can tell that something is wrong, and it started as soon as you returned from your break with Hinata. What's bothering you so much?"

The ash-blond tried to avoid the question at all cost, Yaku, however wouldn't accept that at all. After a few moments, Sugawara finally broke down and let all his emotions burst out. It startled his best friend for a second, but he listened to every pained word that came out between his loud sobs.

"I just don't know what to do! I care so much about Daichi, yet I'm not nearly good enough for him – I'm just useless and weak! He already has so much on his plate and I burden him with my stupid problems! What if he gets sick of me and turns his back to me?! I don't want to lose him! I'm so fucking scared, Morisuke!"

He hadn't realized that his other colleagues rushed into the room once they heard his screams. Yaku knelt down next to him and held onto him while rubbing circles onto his back. It wasn't easy to calm him down and he mumbled more complains and fears in a nearly inaudible voice for a few more minutes. Oikawa and Hinata sat down beside them and hugged the depressed male until his sobbing stopped. The ginger felt especially guilty because he was the one who asked him about Sawamura in the first place. When Tooru got up to get some hot chocolate for them – since that was one of the things that always helped Suga – Hinata bowed down to Sugawara and jumped onto him afterwards.

"Sugawara-San, I'm so, so sorry! If I had known how much it would trouble you, I would never have asked you about Sawamura-San!"

The ash-blond patted his head softly and confessed, "Please, don't feel bad about it. You didn't know about it until now, so you're not to blame. I'm haunted by my own past and sometimes these painful memories get mixed up with the present time."

Yaku added onto the explanation, "Koushi had a very rough childhood, you know. It still affects him today – as you've seen just now."

With that, he reached for Suga's bag and got up to grab a glass of water while his exhausted friend rummaged through his back until he found what he was looking for – a small box of his anti-depressants. Hinata caught a glimpse of it and finally understood the gravity of the situation. Instantly he began to wonder how he could help his precious Senpai to get over his troublesome past.

 _His soulmate might be the only one who can save him from his pain. I hope it's that police officer, since they clearly have feelings for each other._ Hinata thought to himself.

The four men walked back into the break room, where they sipped on sweet hot chocolate and snacked onto some sweets. Together with the company of his dear friends, Sugawara calmed down completely, and they began talking about his greatest worries at the moment – successfully dissolving all of them in the process. In the end, they began talking about their soulmates and how much they had done for them in their lives together.

"I wonder if I ever meet my soulmate… They must be very patient and caring, if they are able to handle me with all of my anxiety and depression… Who would want to be with someone like that?" Sugawara mumbled under his breath.

It didn't go unheard though, and Oikawa remarked with one of his rare genuine smiles, "Oh, you don't need to worry about that! Haven't you noticed it yet?"

The ash-blond tilted his head and before he could question anything, Tooru got up, pushed his friend in front of the huge mirror (which they had since said brunet cared immensely about his good looks) and pulled up his sweater, which resulted in an embarrassed squeal coming from Sugawara. Right before the shy male wanted to complain, he stopped as he got a look on his chest. He had always admired the pure white lily which was positioned where his heart was because he loved the beautiful flower – a symbol of purity and hope. Now, however, said lily wasn't the only thing decorating his chest because a beautiful black orchid was now tangled around his soul-mark. Saying that he was surprised was a huge understatement. Suga couldn't believe his own eyes, even touching the slightly warm mark couldn't make him believe what was happening to him. His friends stayed in the background, feeling extremely happy for their fragile friend.

Tears were streaming down his cheeks by the time he realized that even somebody like him had found his fated partner. He wouldn't have to be alone anymore! There was only one thing that was to discover though. Who was his soulmate?

"I'm sure that it hasn't changed that long ago... Who did I grow closer to recently? It... It couldn't possibly be _him,_ could it?" Sugawara spoke more to himself than anyone else around him.

His employer whispered softly into his ear, "Whose image pops into your head when you look at that _black_ orchid? Who does it resemble and remember you of? I'm certain you already know the truth, Kou-Chan." The ash-blond thought immediately of Sawamura, which caused him to blush slightly. Although he couldn't be completely sure about his assumption, a part of him believed it wholeheartedly. Maybe he should just talk to his friend and housemate about it in the evening or in the following days. _Was being soulmates the reason that Daichi sometimes showed these loving gestures around me? It explains the attraction I felt when I first saw his warm, shining eyes... God, I am so smitten with that strong, gentle and supporting brunet!_

* * *

 **It's about time for some DaiSuga!**

 **I actually had thought about letting Suga getting overrun by a car (nearly) for being to worried about his feelings when Hinata and him were returning. Abandoned that rather quickly - it would have been too much.**

 **I'm honestly not sure if the soul-mark thing makes sense (for people to have their own half, which only gets completed/added when they meet their fated partner)...**


	11. Chapter 11: Confessions

**Chapter 11: Confession**

By the time that the kindergarten finally closed its doors, it was 5 p.m. Yaku had offered to take Sugawara home, since Sawamura's house was on his way.

"Thanks for the ride. You saved me the trouble from taking a crowded bus!" Suga chirped right after they arrived at the apartment.

"Nah, don't mention it. We're friends after all and I would have driven past here anyway. And I bet that you wanna talk to Sawamura as soon as possible," his colleague responded with a grin. Even though he denied it, the blush creeping onto his cheeks showed otherwise. Both men chuckled and parted ways with a hug. A little skip was noticeable in his steps as he moved towards the door of his temporary home. He noticed Sawamura's car in its usual spot in the driveway. Feeling instantly somewhat giddy, Sugawara quickened his pace until he arrived inside.

"I'm home!" Sugawara yelled while slipping off his shoes at the entrance.

However, instead of an answer, a loud crash was heard coming from the kitchen. It sounded like a whole bunch of dishes and pans had fallen down, along with something else. Worry tinted his face as ran up to the source of the noise, only to find Daichi sitting on the floor, slumped against the counter, surrounded by fallen dishes. The brunet grabbed his right shoulder tightly and his face was contorted with pain. Sugawara helped him up and supported his muscular body to bring him to the couch in the living room next door. After he was seated, Sugawara asked fearfully, "What happened to you? And don't play it down, you're clearly in pain!"

With a slightly raspy voice, Daichi begged him, "Could… Could you give me some painkillers first? I was about to grab them before I crashed down…" Suga complied, pushed his friend gently down on the couch and went to grab some pills, water and a wet towel to cool him down. After the brunet took some medicine he seemed to relax after a few minutes. Being completely exhausted all of a sudden, he laid down on the couch and dozed off a bit. The ash-blond fetched a blanket and watched him with a soft smile on his face.  
"He looks so peaceful and cute right now... Now it's my turn to look after him!" He mumbled to himself, before he got up and started tidying up the kitchen, as well as preparing a light dinner for the both of them.

By the time Daichi woke up, he was greeted by a delicious smell. He rose from his place on the couch and noticed that his shoulder still hurt, but the stinging became much more bearable. Once he arrived in the kitchen, he laid his eyes on probably the best sight in his life. In front of him stood Sugawara, clad in Daichi's red, frilly apron, with the caption 'Kiss the cook'. It was a gift from his daughter, hence it was rather cute and a tad girly, but he loved it anyway – and it looked especially adorable on Suga! Without a second thought, he stepped behind the busy ash-blond and snaked his arms softly around his waist.

Sugawara froze for a second because the sudden contact startled him, however, he calmed down as soon as he felt the all too familiar warmth on his back. As he turned his head to take a glance at the brunet, his eyes widened: Sawamura's face was only inches away from his own as he laid his head on Suga's shoulder.

"Morning, Suga-Kun..." Daichi mumbled, lightly breathing against Suga's neck. This action sent his heart racing and he surely _hoped_ that the brunet couldn't hear it, being so close and all.

While trying not to stutter, yet failing horribly, he remarked, "H-Hello! Did you sleep well? If you're feeling hungry, I made some soup as well as some pancakes!"

Before he could answer, though, the loud growling of a stomach could be heard, causing Sawamura to blush and Sugawara to giggle. Afterwards, they sat down at the dining table and enjoyed the food Suga had prepared. They only exchanged a few words, but it wasn't unpleasant in the slightest. To unwind after such a long and tiring day, the two of them retired back to Daichi's bedroom to watch some movies while getting comfortable on his huge bed. A few movies later, a little growl escaped Daichi's lips.

Upon looking up, Suga noticed the pained expression on his face and he demanded confidently, "Show me the injury. I will check it and cover it with some ointment to cool it down and help with the healing process. Maybe changing the bandages will also ease the pain."

The brunet simply nodded and began to take off his shirt, while Sugawara got up to grab some bandages, ointment, scissors and some antiseptics from the medicine cabinet. Once the two of them sat down opposite of each other, Suga started to remove the old bandages extra carefully. He focused so much on the treatment, that he never noticed how tender, yet embarrassed Daichi watched the ash-blond.

As soon as the old bandages were removed, Suga was greeted by a big swelling, as well as a dark bruise on his upper arm and shoulder. Just looking at it pained him and he immediately pitied the poor soul. He was especially careful with cleaning and disinfecting the affected area, Daichi however, winced in pain and grit his teeth through the whole process.  
After he finished treating the wound, Sugawara's gaze fell to a very particular spot on his biceps.

He gasped slightly and whispered, "Oh my... I can't believe it!"

Daichi noticed the astonished look on his face - after all, they were still very close to each other - and asked, "Huh? What is it, Suga-Kun? Is something wrong, besides the obvious?"

Instead of answering the question, he touched the beautiful soul mark on his arm gently. It confused the brunet, so he followed his gaze and he, too, noticed the little tattoo. Or rather the changes it showed. _There is a white lily now... But when did it show up? Moreover, why is Sugawara so fascinated by it? Maybe he... No, that can't be the case, right?_ Daichi thought to himself.

Then, he reached out to touch him to get his attention. Suga blinked a few times and felt blood rushing to his cheeks upon realizing that he had been caught staring and touching him.

"Sugawara? Could you… Could you show it to me? Please?"

Even though the ash-blond hesitated for a moment out of shyness, he started to unbutton his shirt. The rustling of clothes filled the room as Suga stripped down in front of the brunet, despite being absolutely embarrassed to do so. As soon as he was shirtless, Daichi laid eyes on the little flower tattoo above his heart. It goes without saying that he also gawked at his slender chest and his beautiful, pale skin. A smile crept upon his face when the realization hit him.

"You… You are my soulmate…"

Daichi's voice was softer than ever and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. Thus, he pulled the ash-blond onto his lap, wrapped his arms carefully around Suga's waist and he buried his face in the crook of his neck. In return, Sugawara embraced his newfound soulmate feeling slightly embarrassed about their position. While he was enjoying the proximity to Sawamura, doubts began to bubble up inside of him, to the point where he actually started to cry. It startled his soulmate, so he pulled away in an effort to search his eyes for answers.

Before he could ask, however, Suga whimpered, "I'm not fit to be the soulmate of someone as nice and wonderful as you! I'm nowhere near good enough to be allowed by your site and you would surely find someone way better than I can ever be! You're nice, caring and brave and such a good person in general– hell you're fucking hot too! While I'm just a piece of garbage, tossed away when not needed, useless and ugly! I hate myself for being weak like that, yet I just can't help feeling that way! I – I don't deserve you, Sawamura-Kun!"

Seeing him in such a desperate state, Daichi hugged him tighter and stroked his head in a soothing manner. He knew that actions would speak louder in that situation since Sugawara wouldn't believe or listen to a single word he would say. Hence, he pushed him down onto the bed, which distracted his counterpart. Although, he had to be careful not to strain his shoulder in any way, he climbed on top of the sniffling ash-blond and stared deeply into Suga's beautiful hazel-brown eyes. The moment Sugawara's eyes met Daichi's, his sobs started to quiet down and he found himself slowly getting comfortable again. Soft hands caressed his wet cheeks, while his eyes wandered from those puffy red eyes down to his lips and back. The ash-blond noticed his shifting gaze and caught himself doing just the same. It was clear that both had just the same wish lingering in their hearts, silently screaming in longing to close that remaining distance between them. The whole room heated up in the sweet atmosphere of two soulmates feeling nothing but pure love. So Daichi closed his eyes, shifted his weight a bit and bent down. Sugawara closed his eyes as well and waited for that one sensation he had imagined for an unknown amount of time. Soon enough their lips met in a gentle kiss, savouring each single second.

After they moved apart again, soft smiles were plastered onto their faces and all of Sugawara's doubts dissolved like smoke into thin air.

"I love you, _Koushi_. There is no one in this world who could ever mean more to me than you. In my eyes, you're perfect just the way you are. I even love your little flaws and habits which even you aren't aware of. So please don't talk yourself down."

That confession made his soulmate happier than anything, so he threw his arms around his neck and pulled him down once again to plant a few kisses on his lips.

"I love you, too... Daichi. You can't imagine how thrilled I am right now! You're really returning my feelings... Thank you for loving and accepting me."


	12. Chapter 12: Each Other's Happiness

**WARNING: Heavy smut ahead!**

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Each Other's happiness**

Ever since closing the kindergarten, Oikawa Tooru seemed to be in an extremely good mood. His soulmate noticed, too, that he had a visible skip in his step and couldn't seem to stop smirking. Though he couldn't be completely certain about his assumption, but he imagined Sugawara to have the best evening of his whole life. That thought alone excited him as well - after all they had been friends for a few years, being colleagues only strengthened their bond.

Suddenly, his train of thoughts got interrupted by that deep voice he loved so much – despite the harsh words that left his mouth from time to time, "Oi, Trashykawa! What are you doing, jumping around all giddy ever since I picked you up?"

"Aw, don't be like that, Iwa-Chan! I'm just happy for Suga-Chan! I helped him figure out that he met his soulmate and I bet that he's having a good time today because of that!"

Iwaizumi sighed a little and declared, "According to your description his tattoo shows two flowers, right? Black and white ones. Kuroo told me today that he also discovered that Sawamura's tattoo was completed and his picture matches pretty well with what you told me about Sugawara-San. So, I guess it's quite safe to say, that those two really are meant for each other."

Getting his suspicions confirmed overjoyed Oikawa as well because it meant in return that Sugawara's life could finally make a turn for the better.

 _I'm so glad for the poor guy. He already suffered enough from his early childhood on – even though I only met him during high school. Mr. Refreshing is surely lucky to find such a responsible and tough guy like Sawamura._ That knowing smile on his pretty face distracted Iwaizumi so much that he started to notice how much he admired his lover for caring so immensely about one of his friends. It's not like he didn't know the caring side of Oikawa, yet it always set his heart on fire whenever he got passionate about something that he cared deeply about – like his family and friends or volleyball back when he was able to play in high school and for a short time during college.

The brunet now caught his lover staring and felt his cheeks growing warmer upon seeing that gentle, soft smile on his face. To express his ever-growing feelings, Oikawa literally jumped into Iwaizumi's arms - catching him completely off-guard, which resulted in both of them tumbling down to the ground of their living room. Instead of feeling sorry about toppling them down onto their soft carpet, he pressed his lips gently against Iwaizumi's. Still slightly confused, it took Iwaizumi a moment to realize what just happened. This time, however, it was Oikawa who couldn't hold himself back. His hands wandered underneath his shirt, caressing his toned abs, while he was attacking him repeatedly with hot kisses.

"S-Stop it, Trashykawa! We've planned to go out tonight. You know, celebrating our anniversary!" Hajime mumbled whilst he was looking at his slightly dishevelled soulmate.

Tooru however, didn't feel like stopping anytime soon – he really missed his warmth, their closeness and also the sex.

Hence, he whined, while he was undressing Iwaizumi, "Let's start celebrating now! Here and now… I miss touching you – you've been way too busy recently!"

Sadly, the police officer couldn't deny that and he, too, wanted to spend some more time with his lover.

As soon as the brunet had unbuttoned his police uniform - which he still wore since they hadn't been home for too long - Oikawa sent down biting kisses all around his wide chest. It sent waves of pleasure down his spine and Iwaizumi couldn't help but moan slightly under his teasing kisses and touches. The minute Oikawa's hands reached his belt and even lower, his lover covered his red face and began having troubles in keeping his voice down. It bothered him immensely that Tooru knew all of his weak spots and all the little things that usually caused his knees to give out. Tooru, of course, knew of that fact as well, so he kept his hands working with just the right amount of strength at all of his soft spots at a painfully slow pace.

Seeing Iwaizumi's lust growing with each passing second turned Oikawa on likewise, so he threw his own clothes off. He licked his lips in a hungry manner, while he was gazing at his boyfriend's growing bulge. To seduce him even more, he let his tongue wander down his chest and stomach whilst pulling down the last pieces of fabric, so that he could continue tasting his now completely messed up partner. Tooru smirked in an amused manner upon hearing his muffled gasps and impatient curses before he placed his soft lips on his most sensitive area.

Only a little time later, Iwaizumi grabbed onto Tooru's fluffy hair since he just couldn't endure this throbbing sensation anymore and finally lost the ability to hold in his voice any longer.  
The brunet drove him to his first climax, only by using his tongue – in a fairly practiced manner after all those years of their relationship. Since Iwaizumi was still rather horny, he got up on his knees and pulled his lover on his lap, roughly entering him in the process. Oikawa moaned instantly as he began rocking into him.

While he wrapped his arms around Hajime's neck, he whispered, "It feels so good, Hajime! I want you even deeper inside of me!"

Said male listened instantly and started thrusting even harder and faster, which caused Oikawa to tighten his grip on his broad shoulders, leaving a few scratch marks here and there and it left him hopelessly moaning. Soon enough the lovebirds reached their climax together.  
The couple remained sitting on the soft carpet, slumped together in an embrace after their exhausting _activity._

"I love you, Iwa-Chan. Can we still go on a date later on? And maybe go for another round or two? You're not on duty tomorrow, after all!" Oikawa asked with his familiar closed-eyed smirk.

"Yeah, sure babe. I'm really looking forward to our date, especially with how busy I've been lately." Iwaizumi had a really gentle look on his face as he said that and it sent butterflies through Oikawa's stomach. It always took him by surprise whenever the usually harsh and mean guy showed his tender and romantic side.

After relaxing for a few more minutes with nothing but a blanket to keep them warm, they got up and Tooru was carried into the bathroom, where the couple took a relaxing bubble bath together. Afterwards they watched some random TV shows to pass the time until they could finally leave for their date. This time, though, it was completely planned out to the smallest detail by Iwaizumi.


	13. Chapter 13: Meaningful Date

**Chapter 13: Meaningful date**

 _Today is the day… I hope he enjoys himself. There won't be any other good opportunities to pull this through and I fear that I will cower away in fear if I delay the inevitable any longer._

As the two of them left the house in rather fancy clothing, the former ace opened the door of the passenger seat for Tooru. Right before he got into the car himself, he quickly checked with his good old friend Hanamaki, if everything was prepared. After getting a reply with a simple thumps-up emoji, he seated himself in the driver's seat and started driving to their destination of the night.

"So, where are we going for our seventh anniversary? You know what they say about the seventh year… You're not going to break up with me today, are you?" Tooru questioned, while he fastened his seatbelt.

A hint of worry was shimmering through that nervous, yet curious question and the black-haired couldn't help but tease him about it.

"I won't tell you a thing. You'll see it soon enough anyway."

That response left Oikawa pouting, but he still leaned his head against the window and dozed off for the rest of the ride. When the car stopped at the last traffic light Iwaizumi let his gaze wander to his sleeping boyfriend. Tooru bragged almost every day about his astonishing good looks, and even though Hajime never admitted openly, he thought of him as really cute. He often admired his beautiful sleeping face and the peaceful expression he usually showed.  
 _God, I just love this guy… Hopefully everything goes according to plan today._

Another smile crept upon his face and he couldn't help himself but lean down to him to gently graze his soft lips. Only the hunk of the car behind them disturbed that sweet little moment. Fortunately, it didn't wake the snoring brunet. Not before long they arrived at their destination. Oikawa was woken up by a soft shake, which caused him to growl slightly in disapproval. Only the cold air from the now open car door was reason enough for him to open his eyes. The brunet took his hand and was pulled out of the car in an instant. As soon as he got out of the car, his eyes started analysing their destination. Even though it was dark by now, he clearly recognized where they were. Right now, they were standing in front of Aobajōsai High School!

Without further explanation, Iwaizumi put his arm around the taller male's waist and guided him further. To their old gym to be exact. The whole situation left him in utter confusion. Why would Hajime bring him to such a place, not to mention on such a special occasion? Before he could ask, however, Tooru entered the all too familiar gym and his eyes widened in pure amazement upon looking at what was prepared in front of him. A table for two was placed in the middle of the court, surrounded by countless red roses and pinks. The room was dimly lit by candles and the table was wonderfully prepared as well. Like the gentleman he was, Iwaizumi took his lover's coat off and pulled the chair back for him to sit down. After the brunet was comfortable, he left once more to grab the prepared food and a bottle of red wine.

Throughout their romantic dinner, Tooru noticed from time to time just how nervous his lover seemed to be, and he just couldn't put a finger on why that could be. It's not like that was their first date, after all. _Maybe I did really worry him when I told about the seven-year-anniversary? He wouldn't possibly be scared about such a thing now, wouldn't he?_

"Now then, would you like to explain why we're celebrating in our own high school, Iwa-Chan? Not that I'm complaining or anything."

That question pulled Iwaizumi out of his own thoughts and a blush made his way up his cheeks. While scratching his neck, he confessed, "It's really stupid… I just thought, that I wanted to set this date to take place where it all started for us. The place we confessed, the place we first kissed and the place we parted ways the first time…"

After that incredibly cute reasoning, Oikawa's eyes widened for the second time this evening and he immediately rose from his seat to jump into his lover's arms.

He screeched with glittering eyes, "Oh. My. God. This is the most romantic thing you've ever said and done for us!"

Just seeing the bright sparkling of those chocolate brown eyes was enough to enlighten his usually reserved boyfriend - it was proof that all the troubles in preparing that special date were definitely worth it. For a moment, both of them forgot everything surrounding them. The warm light radiating from the candles around them shone upon Tooru's face, setting it in a warm and tender looking light. His beautiful eyes, those soft lips… Everything seemed so inviting to Iwaizumi! In the end, he closed his eyes, threw his arms around the brunet's neck started showering him with loving kisses.

As Hajime's lips reached his neck, Tooru couldn't keep his soft giggles in. Just lying in his strong arms was a dream come true for him and it didn't happen that often that Iwaizumi showed his true feelings freely like that. In the end it was the brunet who interrupted their sweet exchange.

"Hajime… Thank you so much for staying with me for so long. I know I can be quite troublesome sometimes and it's not always easy, but I'm truly grateful for everything you've done for me and our relationship."

His eyes were filled with determination as he spoke those serious words, which filled the black-haired with warmth and love. _I'm glad I picked that place for today's plans. Hearing him say something so cute with such a genuine smile… There is really only one thing left for me to do!_ If Iwaizumi were completely honest, he didn't choose this location without a little second thought. His old friends and team members helped a lot in preparing for today and asking the school to use this room for such an _idiotic_ idea wasn't easy either. However, backing away wasn't an option for the former ace.

Suddenly, the ace pushed his setter out of his lap, stood up and went back to one of the little storage spaces, leaving Oikawa in a confusion - again. Now also a little annoyed as Iwaizumi didn't respond to his heartfelt confession at all, the brunet rose from his seat as well. Wondering just what his boyfriend was up to this time, he followed him through the room and tried hard to peek at whatever object the other male was now holding onto. Once his curiosity reached its peak, he attempted to grab the object of his current interest - and failed miserably because he got caught beforehand. Oikawa expected him to grow angry at his impatient behaviour, so he turned around covering his face in order to save it from a possible hit.

But when second after second went by with nothing happening, he slowly opened his eyes again – only for them to widen all the more. Right in front of him was Hajime – down on one knee with a small, black box in his hand.

"You don't have to thank me for anything. I am the one who is truly thankful that you chose to love me. For me, there is and will be no one in this world who matters more to me than you ever did. I love you with everything I am and I want to spend the rest of my life together with you. You are the reason that I can go through life with a smile every day with that brilliant smile of yours and your optimistic self and I want to protect that smile forever. Will you make me the happiest man alive by becoming my husband?"

Those words left the brunet absolutely speechless for a moment, but when realization hit him, tears started streaming down his beautiful face. Not in the least did he expect this turn of events! On the other hand, it explained a lot of his nervous behaviour throughout the entire afternoon. His silence kept on for what seemed like an eternity and the passing of time made Iwaizumi grow incredibly agitated.

Finally, he released the nervous male with a high-pitched croak, "YES, YES, YES AND YES! Of course, I will! Nothing could make me happier!" Upon hearing the answer he had hoped for, Hajime rose back to his feet, picked up his beloved one and started swirling him around with a bright smile on his lips. Both men broke out in soft giggling before the black-haired male lowered him down, softly pushing his lips onto Tooru's. The newly engaged couple exchanged quite the amount of kisses for the next few minutes until they moved apart so that they could finally exchange rings as well.

It would be an exaggeration to say that they hadn't been that delighted during their entire relationship before – for them it was just another wonderful experience together. And that exactly was reason why Iwaizumi Hajime chose this place for his great proposal: The two of them had started their love and first romantic interactions in this school, this club and this gym. He just wouldn't have it any other way. Therefore, sharing this precious moment in that location as well was simply an unwritten rule. The same goes for Oikawa Tooru, former setter of the famous Seijoh volleyball club.


	14. Chapter 14: One date, gone wrong

**Chapter 14: One date, gone wrong**

The chirping of birds, accompanied by the warm sunlight shining through the shutter woke a sleepy Suga from his deep slumber. After blinking his eyes open a few times, he turned lazily in bed, only to be met by empty sheets beside him. Seeing the empty place, the spot where Daichi had slept the night before, put him in a little panic because the fear of losing him was still lingering inside of him. His fear, though, vanished the second Daichi entered _their_ bedroom again with a tray full of pancakes, fruits and coffee.

He set it down on the bedside table, climbed back in and whispered softly, "Good morning, Koushi. I thought I should greet you with breakfast in bed to celebrate our newfound relationship. You don't have to be scared - I won't go anywhere."  
Those words were followed by sweet, little kisses, which managed to calm down Sugawara completely.

"Was it that obvious? I'm sorry… I'm just not used to someone to love me and care that much about me. It feels too unreal to be true! You mean so much to me, Daichi - I've never felt that strongly about anyone. Thus, I'm really scared of losing you or being left behind again…"

Feeling the unease of his lover and soulmate, Daichi interrupted his sad speech with a kiss. Even though it started off as little pecks, it soon grew way more heated. Koushi was pushed back into the sheets as Daichi kissed him deeper and more passionate than he was ever kissed before. Because of that, the considerably unexperienced ash-blond got flustered quickly, resulting in him gasping from time to time due to the intense exchange. Both of their tongues began dancing around each other's, creating rather lewd noise – turning them on in return. They moved apart to breathe – a string of saliva still connecting them. Warm smiles graced their faces, before their growing desire pulled them towards each other once more.

As they were still in their pyjamas – which involved nothing but a pair of boxers – it didn't take much to become intimate between the lovers. Soon enough, Daichi's lips found their way down to Sugawara's chest. Soft kisses were placed on the ash-blond's soul mark, making him gasp at this unfamiliar feeling. When the brunet started tracing his chest with his tongue, those gasps turned into moans. Immediately after producing such erotic sounds, he covered his red face with his arm, ashamed by his own voice.

"Don't hide yourself. You're beautiful and so is your voice. I love everything about you, no matter what. Even the parts of you that you dislike."

After hesitating for another moment, Suga removed his arm to reveal his bright red face with a small smile. Daichi smiled back and moved to kiss his soft lips again. Those soft kisses filled Suga with glee because he truly loved kissing him. At the same time he let his hands roam around his lover's toned, muscular chest, finally able to actually touch him without the fear of being rejected. Daichi's lips started working its way downwards simultaneously, causing Sugawara to sigh at times filled with longing.

Their sweet and erotic exchange continued for a few more minutes until they were interrupted by the ringing of Suga's phone. Both stopped what they were doing in an instant, annoyance visible on their faces. With the atmosphere completely ruined, Daichi pushed his body off of Suga's and gave him the space needed to grab his phone from the bedside table. The same table that held their now cold breakfast.

"Tooru-Kun, what do you need that early in the morning?" Unfortunately, the moaning from their heavy make-out-session was still recognizable in his voice and it didn't go unnoticed by the all so attentive Oikawa.

A soft giggle could be heard on the other side of the line and the smirk could literally be heard when he asked in his innocent voice, "Oh, am I interrupting you doing something right now? Or should I say _someone_?"

Suga blushed furiously as his friend was absolutely right about it and he retorted, "S-Shut up, Trashykawa! I don't want to hear anything like that coming from you! So, why did you call me?"

"How mean! You sounded like Iwa-Chan just now! But that doesn't matter for the moment. Kou-Chan, I'm going to get married! I told you about the date for our seventh anniversary yesterday, right? Seems like he had planned it all along when he asked me out the other day! You know, we went back to high school and everything was totally set up and romantic and the mood was so perfect and nostalgic! Then he just got down on one knee while I was distracted, and he said all those sweet things to me about how we made so many memories in this place and that he wanted to add this to complete it! God, I'm so fucking happy! Why is _my_ man so perfect?"

Now it was Sugawara's turn to laugh at how hyper and cute Oikawa was and remarked, "Oh my, you're so in love! I can already picture you gushing to everyone you know about Iwaizumi-San. But congratulations on your engagement! You've waited quite a while for that moment, am I right? I'm truly delighted to hear that!"

The previous embarrassment was soon forgotten and both men got engrossed in an excited discussion about marriage and other related things. They even forgot about their waiting soulmates. Daichi watched his delighted boyfriend with a smile before he got up to shower and get ready for the day in the meantime. _Well, what a way to start the morning. I can't even remember the last time I was that elated to be with someone else - in a romantic relationship as well._

After refreshing himself and finishing his daily routine, he warmed up their breakfast again. By the time he finished everything, Suga had ended his surprise call and joined him in the kitchen. The ash-blond greeted the cook with a kiss to the cheek and helped setting up the table and sat down to enjoy their late meal. Even though they've spent more than a month like that together, this morning was way more special than any other before. Not only did they realize that their meeting was truly fated, but they ended up cuddling throughout the whole night!

"Hey, would you like to go out today? Like, on a date? We both are free today anyway and I really want to spend some more time with you. As your boyfriend, I mean. What do you say?" Daichi asked him, while they were doing the dishes.

Suga didn't think for a second when he shouted an excited "YES!" blushing a deep shade of red right afterwards. He coughed a few times, calming down before he continued, "Uh… I mean, I would love to go on a date with you. Do you have something in mind?"

The brunet smiled sweetly upon hearing that and went to grab those pale hands, resting them together on the table.  
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe we could watch a movie and relax at that coffee shop again? Just walking around a park sounds nice too. To be honest, I don't really care as long as it's with you!"

With that the couple set out to do just that. They showed affection in public with little gestures like holding hands, shoulders brushing against each and secret pecks when they felt unwatched. The cinema, though, proofed to be the perfect place to get closer to each other. Daichi put his uninjured arm gently around Suga's shoulders, pulling him towards his body. It resulted in him laying his head on the brunet's shoulder, which was a very comfortable position for the both of them as Sawamura was a few inches taller. Naturally, they chose a rather romantic movie mixed with some action here and there. Pretty stereotypical, but that didn't matter to them. During the most romantic moments, those lovebirds couldn't help themselves, but exchange kisses every now and then. That didn't go unnoticed by any of the other visitors around them, but the couple didn't mind at all and fortunately the guests didn't mind their lovestruck behaviour as well. After all, it was cute to watch - they really gave away the feeling of two awfully happy soulmates.

After leaving the cinema the couple decided that it was still too early for them to go for lunch since they were still full after their delayed breakfast, so they just strolled around the busy streets of Tokyo, looking into some of the smaller shops whenever they discovered something interesting. Once they reached one of the nearby parks in the area, the two of them sat down next to a beautiful fountain. It was the time of the year where it got colder by the day as winter was approaching, but the park was still a famous place for couples. Sugawara, who wasn't dressed very warmly, felt the cold creeping down his spine almost immediately after sitting down and began to shiver slightly in his coat. Thus, he cuddled up against Sawamura's body, seeking out his warmth. The brunet noticed, of course, so he removed his yellow scarf and wrapped it gently around his lover's neck. Suga looked up to meet his eyes and was greeted by yet another kiss on the lips. It caused him to blush in response, yet he couldn't hide his growing happiness either.

"Daichi… I really do love you. I can't believe that I found such a wonderful and nice soulmate. You know, if it weren't for that incident, we might have never met in the first place. Hopefully, it doesn't sound too weird when I say that I'm glad that I got involved in such an assault." the ash-blond confessed.

"Well, I would've preferred meeting you in a less violent situation, but I'm glad that I showed up, although I was a tad too late, considering how badly they hurt you. You're also a very gentle and caring guy. Not to mention absolutely adorable and beautiful. It's a bit embarrassing when I think back about how astonished I was, seeing such an angel-like male right in front of my eyes. Never forget that I care deeply about you, either."

Those compliments heated up Koushi's cheeks some more, so he hid his face in Daichi's scarf while looking anywhere but at his face. His lover on the other hand snickered, realizing his boyfriend's attempt and he raised his head by the chin using his fingers. Following that, he lowered his own head to gently peck his soft lips once more. Koushi sighed dreamily, purely enjoying the innocent touch. If he were to be honest, he totally lost count of their kisses today, but it didn't matter to him at all.

The cosy atmosphere surrounding the lovers soon got interrupted the moment the wind picked up, making both shiver from the cold. They took it as their cue to leave the park and get to some place warmer – preferably Nishinoya's café. Despite the uncomfortable weather, they decided to walk there all the way, staying pretty close to warm each other even if it helped just a little bit. It wasn't until long when they reached their destination. Much to their fortune it wasn't crowded at this time of the day – which was quite the surprise, seeing how popular the coffee shop was. Kageyama was the first to greet the new customers as soon as the little bell announced their arrival.

He smiled slightly upon seeing his old captain and stated, "A table for two, I guess? Follow me, please." The raven-haired man led them silently to a table near the window, where Daichi pulled back a chair for Suga to sit. After all, he was probably the most stereotyped gentleman in the room. While they read through the menu, a loud voice boomed throughout the entire cafe.

"Dai-San! Suga-San! So, my eyes didn't play tricks on me! Are you two a thing now?"

It was none other than Nishinoya. His outburst gathered the attention of the few present guests, who immediately stared at the couple, which seemed to have caught his interest. Sugawara hid behind his menu and partially behind his tall boyfriend because he really wasn't fond of the sudden attention - it made him terribly uncomfortable. Daichi glared at Noya in response and pulled Suga a bit closer to rub his back, hoping to calm him down.

The lively confectioner was stopped by the appearance of his own soulmate - Asahi Azumane. The gentle giant saw right through Sugawara's anxiety as he was familiar with his own socially awkwardness, so he shushed his boyfriend before he could make it any worse. Realising his mistake, Noya apologized for making the ash-blond nervous by treating them to one of his best and self-made desserts alongside some iced tea.

Once they were enjoying their treats, both waiter and confectioner, as well as his partner, walked up to their table and stroked up a friendly conversation. This time, though, in a normal indoor voice. Daichi was glad that Noya understood that his boyfriend wasn't good with too much attention. After all, Asahi has been just as socially awkward and shy.

"Say, since when are you two going out? And how did it happen?" Nishinoya asked with evident curiosity on his face.

Suga glanced at his soulmate with rosy cheeks before he spoke up, "It was quite the surprise for each of us. I didn't even realise that I met my soulmate until a friend of mine, Oikawa, pointed it out to me. To be honest, I wasn't even sure IF Daichi was my fated partner and I'm not good at confronting people. But I got to see his mark due to a little accident last night. His shoulder hurt, and I just wanted to help to ease the pain."

Now it was Kageyama's turn to raise an eyebrow. He hadn't expected to hear the name of his biggest rival from Junior High to college and it made him wonder why he never met Sugawara Koushi even though he seems to be a close friend of him.

"You know that jerk Oikawa-San? What's his role in all of that, if I may ask? He doesn't strike as someone who would care that much about anything that doesn't concern his own well-being to me."

The ash-blond started laughing and retorted, "Oh, he is actually quite the loyal and supportive guy. We met by accident and he helped me overcome something in my past. We're close since then and colleagues as well. I felt a little depressed yesterday and he used that as an excuse to expose the truth to me. Seems like he knew it for a while now too. God knows when he saw the mark being complete."

The raven-haired nodded silently and went back to his phone as he just received a text coming from his beloved ginger. However, Noya wouldn't leave it at that. He really wanted to get to know the man that captured his old captain's heart. Thus, he started asking him one innocent question after another; from his hobbies, to his likes and dislikes and his opinion on different topics. The short male didn't think twice when his interrogation turned more private and intimate. Neither did he realize that this caused Suga to panic, internally. With each additional question, he added more pressure onto the poor guy.

Sugawara wasn't going to tell anyone else beside his boyfriend and closest friends about his painful childhood or the anxiety and depression he had developed because of it. Mostly because trusting others was still a big issue to him and he couldn't risk driving them away just because of how messed up he believed to be. Right now, he wasn't even sure anymore what was stressing him more: trying to remain at least visibly calm to not worry the others or the growing desperation deep within himself. At long last, he simply gave up. The memories that arose due to the conversation overwhelmed him in the end, so he quietly excused himself to go to the bathroom.

His intention was to get away from that overexcited male and his questions to calm his racing heart. But the second he was alone in in the restroom, he slid down to the ground with his back against one of the closed doors. Visions from his childhood suddenly flooded his mind.

 _His drunk father stood right in front of him, glaring daggers and cracking his knuckles._

 _"So, where have you been, you piece of shit?! I told you to stay in your room! Are you rebelling against me?! You know what happens if you don't obey me, don't you?"_

 _The boy in front of him tried to explain that he was just doing a task for his school work with a classmate, but his counterpart wouldn't have any of it. Not accepting any 'excuse' at all, he raised his hand against his own flesh and blood over and over again, leaving bruises all over his slender chest and stomach – places unseen by any outsider._

 _Before young Koushi could even muster up another response, he was grabbed tightly by the throat. The cruel man that called himself a father didn't even hesitate when he saw tears in the corner of his son's eyes while he was strangling him. How could a man radiate so much hatred at once? Against such an innocent child?_

 _The moment Suga was released, the poor boy crumbled to the floor, clutching his chest, seeing how the lack of air and the repeated hits seemed to have hurt his lungs in some way. He didn't even do anything wrong this time! Was it that bad to try for school… and life? Part of him yearned for nothing more than running away from this terrible place called home. This horrendous life. Yet he knew that such a thing wasn't possible for him – he had no friends to turn to, not a single place to hide and surely, he would be found again only to suffer even worse punishments once he would return._

 _This was a circle with no way out, not matter how much he prayed and pleaded._


	15. Chapter 15: Insecurities and struggles

_Thank you for reading that far! I really hope you enjoy it as much as I do!_  
 _Please tell me what you think, especially if something is wrong with grammar and stuff (I do check it, but I'm only human, too)_

* * *

 **Chapter 15: Insecurities and struggles**

A few minutes had already passed since Suga went to the bathroom. Daichi had told his three friends some more things they should know about his boyfriend to make sure they don't upset him. The brunet knew about his depression and what caused it – even if he knew only the basics of what he had to go through – so he planned to protect him from further damage. Sadly, he noticed far too late that Noya's curiosity, especially the questions about his family and childhood, had made him uneasy. And with him being gone for longer than he assumed to be normal, his worries only increased. In the end it was Asahi, who decided to check on the ash-blond. His gut instincts told him that something wasn't right, so he excused himself with the promise to bring Sugawara back.

The moment he stepped into the restrooms, he was met by quiet sobs. He saw that somebody - no definitely Sugawara - was sitting on the floor with his knees uncomfortably close to his chest. His breaths came out as shorts, sharp gasps and it was obvious that he was in trouble. Asahi ran to his side, grabbed his shoulders and whisper-yelled, "Hey, Suga-San, it's me, Asahi! Look at me, will you? Can you breathe?"

Koushi shook his head no and grabbed onto his shirt with a shaking hand. He couldn't breathe, his chest and heart seemed to hurt like hell and the fear of dying here and now was growing stronger with each failed gasp. The male in front of him recognized that he was suffering from a severe panic attack just now and it made him consider two things: he could run out to get Daichi or he could stay and try to calm him down alone. Knowing that his best friend would panic as well, he decided for the latter, hoping that it would work out somehow.

"Okay Koushi, I know this might seem like too much right now, but try to take a deep breath. Stretch your legs out and relax them. I'm here with you now, you're not alone in this. Look at me, please."

His gentle voice seemed to work well on Suga's nerves because it was really calming to listen to.

"You're going to be okay. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Daichi is just next door as well and he will make sure that not a thing will hurt you in your future together."

For the next few minutes, Sugawara listened to Asahi's every word until he was finally, finally calm again. He was still shook up and trembling, but his breathing had normalized, the pain was gone and even the memories had vanished. Asahi got up from the ground and offered a helping hand, before they returned to the coffee shop.  
It was not a lie to say that everyone's eyes widened once they saw the way Asahi supported the ash-blond's body.

Daichi paled visibly upon seeing his dishevelled hair, the messy state his clothes were in and how exhausted and pale he looked right now. Kageyama snapped out of his shock first and went to the back of the shop to grab a bottle of water for the weakened male. By the time he returned, Sugawara was seated on the comfy couch next to his boyfriend. The brunet held him anxiously in his arms, while he took a few sips of water – still keeping quiet about what happened. In the end, it was Asahi, who broke the uncomfortable silence to explain the whole situation.

"I'm sorry that it took a bit longer than I expected. When I stepped into the restrooms I found Sugawara having a panic attack, but I was able to calm him down again. I noticed while you talked that he grew really distressed, so it worried me that he left the table so suddenly. Seems like my gut feeling was right..."

That caught the attention of the entire group and a feeling of guilt overcome Nishinoya. After all, it was him who kept asking question after question without thinking any further ahead. Therefore, he did the only thing he could do for now: he leaped up from his seat and bowed his head as low as he could.

"I'm so sorry, Sugawara-San! I didn't mean to bring back bad memories or pry! If I had known that something so awful would be the result of it, I would have stayed quiet!"

The forgiving ash-blond ruffled up his hair and whispered quietly, "Please, don't worry about it. I don't blame you for anything, since you couldn't possibly know. Now, keep your head up."

Suga tried to smile, in hope to reassure him, but failed horribly since the shock was still profound. In the end, it was only a matter of seconds for his expression to crumble. In an effort to hide just how hurt his soul was, he snuggled closer into Daichi's chest.  
The ash-blond couldn't deny that he felt like crap currently, but Suga also knew that he couldn't blame the curious guy for the panic attack. Who would have thought that such a simple, innocent conversation could end up causing such a horrible incident?

To soothe his hurting angel, the brunet tightened his embrace and rubbed circles on Suga's back as gentle as he could. After all, he discovered early on that it always calmed him down when he did it, no matter how devastated his boyfriend felt before. Now, it was even more soothing for both of them! Simply being close was a thing that they enjoyed from the very start, due to being soulmates, so it was never a secret just how much they were drawn to each other. They were just like magnets – always being pulled towards the other.

As soon as Sugawara stopped shaking entirely, he decided to open up more to Daichi and his friends.  
"I'm sorry that you had to witness me breaking down like that. To be honest, I had a terrible childhood with a violent, drunkard of a father and an uncaring mother… He often punished me for the smallest things with beatings. He locked me up when I 'annoyed him with my whining'. I wasn't allowed to do anything, even if it was for school. I'm… I never learned to trust other people or even myself and it took until High School for me to finally escape this horrible life. But that didn't mean that my nightmare was over, because the first boyfriend I had was just as manipulative and possessive. It is thanks to Tooru, Morisuke and Shouyou that I survived until today, because I often thought about giving up. Like entirely. On my life. I was able to live in peace for a few years now and I finally started to trust other's again. That's all thanks to Daichi as well, as he never left my side when I seriously needed someone close by."

The group felt both honoured and taken aback at the same time learning some bits of his dark backstory – Him being more open about his life was also a sign of his growing trust in the others. Suga could tell that they truly cared about the things he told them, even if it were only some small memories from his past. Things that didn't matter anymore. However, it was different for Daichi. From his point of view every little memory was something important, something that he wouldn't just let slip past his attention. After all, this was about his soulmate and boyfriend!

With little gestures like squeezing Suga's hand, the brunet urged him on to tell them everything that pained his fractured soul in order to relieve him from the pain by sharing his story. Like that, he was sure that it would help him overcome his insecurities little by little. And it wasn't too farfetched either because talking resolved many problems he and his volleyball team had back in the old days. That's what strengthened the friendships he developed until the very day!

Soon enough, Sugawara was back to being his old self. The light returned to his previously dull looking eyes and a warm smile graced his beautiful face.  
 _Somehow, I'm grateful that these three of Daichi's friends listened to everything I had to say. I don't know what would have happened if Asahi-San hadn't been there to help me out. Kageyama-Kun and Nishinoya-Kun are good listeners as well. Seems like they really are looking up to my wonderful boyfriend, seeing just how much they tried to help him as well as me._

Feeling the need to make it up to the four men surrounding him, the ash-blond got up and bowed to them, saying, "I'm truly thankful for the support you gave me in the last hour, even though you don't really know me. I'd like to express my gratitude in the form of a dinner, if it is alright with you."

Noya remarked with a happy grin, "Aw, you don't have to do that, Suga-San! Friends of Dai-San are our friends as well! And since you're his partner, not to mention his soulmate, it's all the more a reason for us to care about your well-being!"

"Yeah, he is right about that. To be honest, I am quiet the anxious person myself, so it's easier for me to see through other people's facade. If you're ever troubled by anything at all, you can call me anytime." Asahi added with a pat on Suga's shoulder.

It was Kageyama, who brought the conversation to an end with a little shrug.  
"Don't mind, don't mind. You're not alone, Senpai, and we're happy to help you. There is no need for you to spend money on our behalves."

Even though Suga understood what they intended to tell him, he couldn't help but think that they just wanted to escape his invitation. Daichi saw the little pout forming on his lips and intervened with a light laugh, "Well, how about you guys come by at my - I mean _our_ place? Just so you know, Koushi is an absolutely fabulous chef and you will definitely miss something by not trying his home-cooked food! You can bring your boyfriend, too, if you want to, Tobio."

The sharp gaze he sent Asahi, Kageyama and Noya was all they needed to accept the invitation, and nobody could deny that the bright grin Suga had on his face afterwards was nothing but adorable. So, they decided to join them for dinner this night, which was also the reason for the couple to leave the coffee shop and return home. After all, without ingredients, there won't be any dishes. The brunet wanted to do the shopping, however, he was forced to stay at home so that he couldn't overexert himself due to his injured shoulder.

To advance things further, the ash-blond took his car – which was brought here by Daichi shortly after he moved in with said male – and drove down to the next shop. Technically spoken, he had planned a nice dinner with Daichi the moment they decided to go on a date, so he already knew what ingredients were needed for his side dishes, the main dishes and some dessert. It only needed to be adjusted so that it was enough for four more people.  
 _Maybe I should restock our medicine and bandages, too. I need to be sure that we have enough stuff to treat Daichi, in case the injury worsens._

While he skipped through the aisles of the market without paying too much attention, a familiar ginger suddenly ran right into him, sending both of them to the ground with an _oof_. Hinata Shouyou being in a hurry, hadn't expected somebody standing in his way when he ran round the corner. He rubbed his head that hurt a little after crashing into his counterpart, but froze in place as he realized that his friend and colleague had collapsed right in front of him. To make the whole situation worse, he was clutching his chest so hard that his knuckles turned white, showing just how sever his pain was.

"Oh shit! Koushi, how bad is it?! Can you hear me? Do you need an ambulance?!"

Hinata started to panic as he remembered that he was still suffering from broken ribs and the aftermath of the assault he had to experience. One of the shop assistants noticed the commotion and rushed to help them. Getting Hinata back on his feet didn't pose a problem, but Suga was struggling way more. _Crap, that hurts like hell! Okay, calm Koushi! Take a deep breath and wait until this wave of pain is gone._ Before the shop assistant even understood what was going on, the guilty ginger crouched down next to his colleague and searched his back for the painkillers he knew Suga was always carrying around - just in case of unforeseen emergencies like this one.

Luckily, he found them immediately and whispered, "Here, these are your painkillers. I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going!"

After checking the pills once more, the ash-blond gulped one down whilst he leaned back against the shelves. Only five weeks had passed since the incident, so he was at least free of pain since his ribs had started to rebuild themselves by now. He still had to be careful because he couldn't burden his body too much - A second examination had shown, that his healing didn't progress as fast as it normally would due to some very rare genetic defect. It was unfortunate for him, but he had expected it - after all every bruise and cut he ever had healed very slowly.

In the meantime, the ginger explained to the confused shop assistant about his broken ribs and the fact that he wasn't fully cured at the moment. Fortunately, the medicine kicked in fast and the pain subsided shortly after. The ash-blond heaved a sigh before he got up with the help of Hinata and the female worker.

To ease their worry, he exclaimed with a soft smile, "You don't have to worry about me – I'm alright as I can be. My body simply needs more time to heal and I'm quite sensitive because of that."

With that being said, the young shop assistant went back to work. Hinata, however, had a different plan as he bowed his head in apology.  
"I'm really sorry for running into you! Literally. So, please allow me to carry your groceries for you as compensation. As far as I heard from Kageyama, you've invited him, Noya-San and Asahi-San for dinner and Sawamura-San allowed him to bring me along. I felt bad for simply showing up though, so I wanted to grab a little something before, as a thank-you-gift."

Suga didn't even have time to decline his offer and knowing how stubborn this fellow was, he wouldn't have moved an inch from his decision until Suga would give in. The lively ginger rambled on and on, only stopping every now and then to grab some groceries and while they paid for their stuff. No matter what he tried, Hinata took every single, heavier object out of his hands and he carried ultimately his bag as well. Even pushing the shopping cart had been out of limits for the hurt ash-blond, which annoyed him slightly. After all, it wasn't like he would break from a little bit of work. In the end, they loaded the stuff in the car trunk and Sugawara offered him to take him to Daichi's house, if he wasn't busy at the moment.

Shouyou accepted that offer happily and jumped in the passenger seat, messaging Kageyama that he would wait at Sawamura's place until the other's arrived since he met Koushi by accident. The moment the co-workers arrived, Hinata immediately went to retrieve the bags, not leaving his friend a chance to even try carrying something.

"Oh, come on! Just let me help you! I'm not going to snap from that little weight." The annoyance was clearly written all over his face and his loud complaint was so loud that even Daichi noticed him from indoors.  
The brunet opened to door to check on things and he heard that ginger remark, "Nah uh! I told you that I'll do that for you today and I won't bargain about that. Just relax for a change or I'm calling Oikawa-San!"

He ran his hands through his hair with an exasperated sigh and watched how his energetic fellow entered the apartment - but not without bowing to Daichi to show respect for his Senpai and greet him.

"I can't believe I'm being threatened by that ball of sunshine…" He mumbled to himself as he passed by his boyfriend, earning himself a chuckle from him.  
Daichi led both into his kitchen and helped unpack the bags with his healthy arm, while Suga stored everything in its dedicated places. The whole situation was pretty entertaining for the brunet and the strong sense of responsibility that Hinata showed, made him kind of proud, too. Of course, it shocked him when he first found out that his lover fell, but knowing he was there with a friend soothed his worries instantly. The three of them ended up chatting about various things, doing nothing in particular. At some point their conversation turned to Daichi and Hinata playing volleyball in the past. That's when it got really lively in the living room and it became clear that both men were truly passionate players. Suga couldn't deny that he felt a little inferior about it - he never had the chance to try out sports for himself due to his father.

To escape this uncomfortable situation, the ash-blond excused himself from the room to start preparing for dinner. Even there, the excited cries from Hinata managed to reach the sulking host.  
 _I can't help but envy Shouyou's ability to befriend others so easily..._ _These two have just met and they already found something they're both passionate about! Will I ever be able to excite Daichi like that?  
_ Doubts started to fill his mind again, but he managed to push them away with a shake of his head. Instead, he collected the ingredients needed for all of his recipes. Cooking became one of his biggest passions over the years, simply because it gave him a feeling of safety, since he didn't have to rely on others anymore for such a basic necessity. Especially because his old household starved him for such a long time.

A little hum escaped his lips as he chopped vegetables. Doing that, he didn't recognize the ringing of the doorbell, announcing the arrival of the rest of his guests. Though, he nearly jumped out of his skin when somebody jumped onto his back out of nowhere. He turned his head and realized that it had been Nishinoya, who was quickly pulled away by Hinata.

"Hey, you! I know you're a nice guy and my boyfriend's boss, but that doesn't mean I won't stop you from jumping Koushi like that! His ribs are broken for your information and actions like that aren't safe at all!"

Shouyou's loud voice startled everyone in the room. After all, it's not every day that such a small and energetic boy pulled such a serious face.

Noya searched his host's eyes and bowed his head for the second time in just one day, but Sugawara waved it off with a smile.

"I appreciate your help, Shouyou, but I'm fine. I told you like five times already... I won't die from a simple hug. Although I have to admit that you scared the crap out of me just now."

After Hinata calmed down with Kageyama's help, the group made themselves comfortable while Suga continued his cooking. Daichi helped him with chopping and other small tasks - and the small, secret brushes of their hands and shoulders, as well as the exchange of glances and smiles was definitely not unseen by their guests. They stayed quiet and smiled themselves a little at this domestic and lovely atmosphere. And just like that, time flowed by easily. The household was filled with laughs and stories about old times in High School and College, volleyball discussions and plans for the future. Sugawara felt jealousy growing inside of him whenever they talked about memories they shared - from what he heard, they had played volleyball together for a long time. Asahi was, again, the first to realize his discomfort. His face pretty much showed the bitterness from being excluded in most of these things.

So he offered with a kind smile, "How about you, Suga-Kun? What would you say about trying out playing volleyball, once you're healthy again? I'm sure we could get some people together for a nice game. Since we are all like some kind of big family, we would gladly let you join in on the fun!"

For a moment, time stood still. But then, Sugawara broke out in that one, bright signature smile of his and accepted wholeheartedly with some tiny tears in the corners of his


	16. Chapter 16: Little joys of life

**Chapter 16: Little Joys of Life**

Two months later, things had changed positively for the new-found soulmates. Sugawara had regained stability – both mentally and physically - with their relationship, while Daichi found warmth and hope in their love. Something each of them had searched for a long time. The ash-blond even gave up on his old apartment to officially move in with his boyfriend. They returned one time together to gather all of his clothing and personal things. Now they were busy preparing for a little get-together with Daichi's parents to celebrate Christmas. And that proved to be a whole different problem for the ash-blond! By now, he was confident about their relationship, but meeting his soulmate's parents for the first time was nerve-wracking as hell, despite his confidence and everything!

"Hey, don't worry, babe! My parents are the nicest people on the whole planet and they will most certainly love you! Just be yourself and if you're feeling uncomfortable due to the new situation, just tell me. They'll understand, too."

Strong arms wound their way around a tender waist and Sugawara felt himself leaning into his boyfriend's touch. He put his hands on top of his and squeezed them gently. Daichi's gentle smile always managed to send his heart racing and a blush crept its way up to his face. The brunet turned him around, seeing how he adored it, whenever his usually mature and proud lover turned so shy and red. Without hesitation, he pulled his waist closer and leaned down to connect their lips. A smile lit up his face and he closed his eyes immediately. He responded the moment he felt Daichi's lips on his own by wrapping his arms around his lover's neck to pull him even closer.

"How do you always manage to wipe my worries away? I love you so much... Thank you for not making fun of my insecurities. Kiss me some more?"

A little laugh escaped the brunet's lips, before he whispered, "There's no way I'm ever going to make fun of you. I love you, too."

After exchanging countless pecks, the brunet changed the angle to deepen the kiss. Soon enough, their tongues intertwined passionately, exploring each other's mouths. That caused Koushi to moan into the kiss - which in return aroused Daichi. So, he pushed his gray-haired lover softly against the sofa in their living room with a strong grip on his waist. Daichi's hands wandered across Suga's slender body, sending waves of pure lust through every inch of his being. Their make-out session escalated quickly, with Koushi's high-pitched moans echoing through the shared apartment. Never before had he experienced so much pleasure before, so it had been nothing but a matter of time until he couldn't contain his voice anymore.

It goes without saying that the sight of a blushing and moaning Koushi did something to Daichi's heart. If he were to be honest, he hadn't exactly planned to make love to Suga on the couch for their first time. Nonetheless, it was the sweetest and most exciting night he ever experienced. The morning afterwards was a completely different thing though. Sugawara was definitely not a morning person and Daichi had seen that on more occasions than he can count.

Said ash-blond laid on his stomach, wrapped up in a warm and cosy blanket and hid himself from any stray of sunlight. He didn't intend to move an inch for the next hours and his grumpy pout made it obvious for his lover. Not like he _could_ actually move right now. Not after what his lovely boyfriend had done to him in the previous night. With two mugs of coffee in hand, the brunet walked back into the living room.

"Good morning, sunshine! How about a nice cup of coffee?" Daichi asked with a soft voice.

A quiet grumble resonated from underneath the pile of sheets in response. Despite that, a pale hand still reached towards the table to grab a cup, which caused the brunet to laugh.

"Need some help, Sweetums? I'm sorry, uh... I kinda got carried away yesterday. You okay?"

Finally, the pile in front of him shifted and out came an embarrassed looking Suga. A small smile graced his lips - a smile that could light up the whole world.  
After settling down next to his sleepy looking boyfriend, Daichi kissed his lips and wrapped his arm around his waist. Wanting to feel more of the warmth emitted from the taller male, Sugawara snuggled up into his side and laid his head on his shoulder. Seeing how the ash-blond was still in nothing but his boxers, the couple huddled together under the warm blankets. However, that sweet, sweet morning was soon interrupted by the sound of Suga's grumbling stomach, leaving both to burst into laughter. Even though he felt embarrassed, he was snorting with tears in the corner of his eyes and he clutched his stomach in laughter. These are the moments Daichi lives for! Once their laughter quieted down again, they rose from their seats to get started with a little breakfast.

Noting the limp in his walk caused Daichi to smirk and he offered, "Why don't you take a shower while I set the table? Take it easy today."

Suga glared at him, thinking of a response to his sly grinning boyfriend. After reaching the conclusion that there wasn't much to say in his own defence, he stated with a sigh, "You're awful, you know? My hips are hurting like hell and it's all your fault."

And nothing in the world would have prepared him from the remark that followed, which also set Sugawara's face on fire.

"Well, didn't seem so awful yesterday, if you ask me. I remember _you_ yelling my name for most of the night. Who was the one who didn't want to stop, huh?"

The face Suga made now was absolutely priceless and he tried to quicken his pace to flee from the situation. Emphasis on tried. Pain was shooting through his lower half, causing him to stumble and nearly fall over. Fortunately, he was caught before anything could have happened.

"Whoa, there! Be careful! I'm sorry if I said too much," Daichi admitted while he steadied his lover's body. It was that moment Koushi decided to tease the easily worried male. Thus, he lowered his head and hid his face in the brunet's shirt, gripping tightly onto the soft fabric. He whimpered softly to catch his attention and succeeded immediately.

The brunet took a hold of his shoulders and asked anxiously, "H-Hey, are you okay? Please, forgive me! I didn't mean to hurt your pride or anything! Let me make it up to you, I'll do anything!"

With that, the ash-blond lifted his head and asked mischievously, "Kiss me?"

Daichi relaxed instantly and mumbled softly, "Don't scare me like that," and leaned down to connect their lips. The gentle touch put a happy grin on Suga's face when he wrapped his arm around his lover's neck. How lucky he was that the brunet was taller than him! After exchanging kisses for some time, the couple separated. The ash-blond went to take a shower while Daichi got started with a little breakfast. Their blissful morning continued and was only to be interrupted when the phone of the Sawamura household rang.

"My parents are calling," the host announced before picking up to greet them, "Daichi speaking. Good morning!"

A happy sounding woman was heard on the other side of the speaker. "Well, hello there sweetie! I hope we didn't interrupt your morning! I am calling about your visit for Christmas. Is it still okay for you to come over with your partner?

Sawamura confirmed, "Yeah, we plan to head over. We're both off of work over the holidays. It's really been a while since I've last visited you, so I'm looking forward to it!"

"We're excited as well! Not only are we going to see our beloved Babyboy, but we're also going to meet your soulmate, finally!" his mother shouted back, causing Koushi to cringe slightly for how overjoyed and excited she sounded even through the phone.

Daichi grabbed his hand in reassurance and gave it a gentle squeeze. Even though it was soothing that at least his mother wanted to get to know Suga, he still was nervous about being hated or rejected as Daichi's lover. _Will they really be able to accept me? After all, I am without a doubt a man. God, what if they despise me because I am gay for Daichi?!_

Before his thoughts could take a turn for the worse, a soft tuck pulled him back into reality. Suddenly, he found himself in his boyfriend's strong arms. While he talked to his mother about the upcoming visit, he caressed Suga's back and arms. In the end, the ash-blond wrapped his arms around Daichi's waist and nuzzled his face softly against his broad shoulders - it calmed his nerves immediately. After all, cuddles always put him at ease, no matter what and Daichi knew just that.

About half an hour later, the brunet ended his call and found his loved one dozed off against his shoulder. _He must feel truly at peace if he managed to slip off to sleep after so little time. At least he's not worrying about meeting my family anymore._ Smiling softly, he lifted him up and carried him back to their bedroom where he covered him with a fluffy blanket. The brunet couldn't deny that he went a little rough last night, but the guilt disappeared as fast as it settled in, once he remembered the pleasure that had been engraved on Koushi's face. The desire-filled moans another proof of the lust they shared. These thoughts caused Daichi to blush furiously and he had to pinch his thighs to stop himself from delving deeper into the pits of his own desire for his soulmate. _Now, now. Stop thinking perverted thoughts, Daichi! Preparing for Christmas should be my first priority now. I could get a gift for Koushi as well! Well then, I guess it's time for some shopping now, he really needs to sleep some more anyway._


	17. Chapter 17: A family get-together

_Early update because I'm going to be away to visit my best friends to celebrate new year. So I wish YOU a happy new year in advance! :D_

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Family Get-Together**

The remaining two weeks until Christmas went by in the blink of an eye. Daichi and Suga had been equally busy in wrapping up their work and organizing gifts for their loved ones. Sugawara had been barely at home since these days were packed with events for the kids at the kindergarten, which were held every year - especially for parents who weren't able to take days off during the Christmas season. Even though these days had been hectic, just bringing joy to cute, little children was enough to make up for all the stress it put on the teachers. Being out and about for most of the day, Suga was usually exhausted whenever he returned home and it didn't make it better that Daichi was either already knocked out himself or gone to work a late shift.

Therefore, it was a nice change of pace when their holidays started and the couple got ready for a journey to Miyagi. The Sawamura family had invited them to stay two weeks, so they could get to know their new family member. Due to working almost all day, the nervousness about visiting his parents-in-law had disappeared for the last two weeks, however, it all came back when he was sitting in Daichi's car. And it got worse with each passing minute of their two-hour ride. By the end, his hands were shaking badly, his face was even paler than usual and the silence surrounding them wasn't comfortable at all. Daichi could feel Suga's rising distress - the bond they shared with being soulmates enabled him to pick up on every change in mood, no matter how small it was.  
Therefore, he grabbed his lover's ice-cold hands with his free hand and promised him, "Everything will be okay. There is nothing for you to be afraid of. My parents are genuinely eager to get to know you! You heard how excited they were on the phone, and they're going to love you for who you are."

The ash-blond glanced towards his lover and whined, "But... But what if they don't approve of me after meeting me? I just... I don't want them to hate me, so I'm worried about messing up somehow! What if… If they don't like me because of my anxiety, because I'm so, so weak?!"

Hoping to ease his nerves, the ash-blond gripped tightly onto his lover's hand and brought it up to his cheek. Daichi let him do however he pleased and added, "There is no way anything like that would happen. They even approved of my previous relationship, never cared about the fact that she wasn't my soulmate. Same goes for our daughter. Heck, they adored my little Sachiko and never thought ill of my family! My parents want nothing more than my happiness and that includes you and your own happiness."

Bringing up his daughter was a thing they happened to avoid for the three months they stayed together. The young father never mentioned it in Suga's presence, but he hadn't been able to overcome her death to this very day. There had been many nights in which he cried himself to sleep, days where he broke down at work or visited his friends to distract himself from his sorrow. Despite anything, Koushi did pick up on some of his mood shifts. After all, their souls connected the day they met - they only discovered it much later. He just couldn't do anything to make it better.

The moment Daichi had finished his little speech, he regretted it instantly. Memories of his little baby flooded his mind and he gripped the steering wheel hard enough for his knuckles to turn white while also letting go of Suga's hand. Luckily, they reached his parent's house before he broke down, so the brunet could lean his head back on his seat without endangering them. Now he was the one who trembled, with his lips pressed together in a thin line. Sugawara gasped in shock upon seeing his lover miserable like that for the first time in forever. His own worries were forgotten in an instant and he reached over to comfort him this time. Tears ran silently down his cheek and it broke Koushi's sensitive heart even more. As soon as he started sobbing, Suga climbed carefully into his lap to wrap him strongly in his embrace.

One the ash-blond was safely sitting on Sawamura's lap, he pressed himself closer to his body as he hushed him with soft and caring whispers. Apologizing was useless at this point, that much was obvious. Instead, he encouraged him to let it all out at once.

"It's okay to cry for you are still mourning. Don't hold it in, darling. I didn't mean to bring back sad memories. I understand that it's tough to overcome the loss of family and I know that it will take a long time, maybe even forever to move on. But please remember that I am going to support you until you get sick of me. Just know that you can always rely on me, no matter what happens."

While he muttered those words, Suga let one of his hands rub circles on his back, the other brought his soulmate's head to his shoulder. Daichi buried his face in the collar of his beige woolen pullover and sniffled softly, strengthening his hold around his lover's back. They stayed like that until he calmed down. Having a meltdown like that was certainly exhausting, Koushi knew it all too well, so he offered him a hand after climbing out of the car. His boyfriend took it gratefully, but insisted on carrying their suitcases. Seeing how he didn't want to look like some kind of jerk who let his soulmate do all the work when visiting his parents.

At the door, the couple was eagerly awaited by Daichi's parents. They pulled their son close, as soon as they stepped inside.  
"Welcome home, darling! It's so good to see you again!" his mother chirped. His father soon joined the hug and exclaimed, laughing, "You're looking good, son! How have you been?"

The brunet returned their greeting just as excited and wrapped them in his arms at the same time.  
"It's nice to be back. Life's been pretty hectic recently, you know with Christmas coming up, the terrible weather situation in Tokyo and all. Finally get to take a breather now. Have you guys been well?"  
Sugawara watched the peaceful exchange silently and it left him a bit unsure. He never really knew parental love and care after all. Just watching their sweet exchange unsettled something in his heart and he felt really out of place right now. Finally noticing the other male shifting from one foot to another, the three of them stepped aside and Daichi walked back to his boyfriend.

"Mom. Dad. I'd like to introduce you guys to my soulmate, Sugawara Koushi. Koushi, these are my parents, Yoshiko and Kenshin," he introduced him while pulling him closer by the waist. After pressing a surprising kiss on his cheek, Sugawara blushed a deep shade of red and yelped, "What do you think you're doing!" whilst he hid his face in his hands.

With flushed cheeks, Suga bowed before them and introduced himself again, just to feel more comfortable, "Um, it's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Sawamura. Just like he said, I'm Sugawara Koushi. Thank you for having me over!"

The Sawamuras smiled upon seeing the flustered mess in front of them and welcomed him with a surprisingly affectionate hug. The ash-blond stiffened instantly and paled upon these weird feelings that bubbled up inside him. His dilemma was noticed, luckily, so the elderly couple let go of him and invited them fully into their home. _Oh boy… This could take a while to get used to… They seem to be nice people though from first glance. I hope I survive the following days without any incidents…_

However, he had to realize early on that it wouldn't be simple like that. Koushi had a hard time with settling down in a new environment with people whom he wasn't accustomed to and it definitely didn't help that they tried their hardest to get to know him. Sure, they were caring and sweet, but Suga simply didn't know how to handle that. Especially Daichi's tall and enthusiastic father worried the poor ash-blond as he was way taller and stronger than him – even taller than his wonderful boyfriend. His occasionally hectic movements scared him to death, mostly when he tried to get closer to the fragile male. In times like these he found refuge with Daichi, who also calmed his parents down whenever they overwhelmed his gentle lover.

Like that, their relationship improved gradually in the short span of time they lived under the same roof, with Sugawara slowly but steadily warming up to them. During the seventh night, however, their peaceful sleep was interrupted by a deafening cry. As unfortunate as it was, Daichi was currently out to meet up with a few old friends in some kind of bar. Therefore, there was only one person who could disrupt the otherwise stormy night. The scream woke the married couple with a start and they made a run towards the guestroom. What could have happened shortly after one in the middle of the night? It couldn't possibly be caused by the storm, could it? Without giving it a second thought the couple rushed towards the bed, where a shocking sight awaited them. Sugawara was curled up in a ball, tightly clenching onto the bed sheet - bawling his eyes out. Sweat covered his forehead, he was deadly pale and gasped desperately for air. From what they could tell, he was neither asleep nor awake - as if he was in some kind of daze. Yoshiko untangled her new family member and took his trembling form gently into her arms while whispering soft words to soothe him.

"He's having a panic attack, dear. Could you get something to drink and maybe some sweets? I'll handle him in the meantime," Yoshiko instructed her husband. Since she was working in a hospital, she was quite familiar with situations like the one at hand and she did her best, knowing that she could get an explanation later on either from her son or the poor fellow himself.

Once his breathing evened out, he slumped down in her arms, completely exhausted. Kenshin had went out to make cocoa and get some sweet treats to help the poor guy relax again and returned to a now quietly sobbing Sugawara. The couple knew by now that they shouldn't rush anything when it came down to their hopefully-soon-to-be-son-in-law, so they didn't force or assume anything out of him. But they had known that patting his head always seemed to work wonders on his mental health whenever something stressed him out. And that's exactly what the middle-aged woman did. That gesture truly did wonders, as amazing as it sounded. A few moments later a soft whimper caught the attention of Yoshiko and Kenshin.

"I'm so, so sorry that you had to see that... Are you... Are you disappointed in me now? Please, don't hate me!"

His voice was raw and hoarse from his earlier breakdown when his anxiety got the best of him and the panic was still clear in his eyes. It was the first time for the two of them to witness Suga in his weakest state, but right now that didn't matter to anyone.

Yoshiko reassured him softly, "But no, darling! Why would we be disappointed in you? We could never hate you because you are part of our family. Are you okay, sweetie?"

Before he could answer, Kenshin walked towards them and put the treats on the bedside table. Afterwards, he leaned down to match his eye level in hope to display his interest and concern for the whimpering man. Never, though, did he expect just how violently Koushi would flinch – he recoiled so fast that he knocked himself off the bed. The couple was by his side almost instantly, but they kept a little distance because they didn't want to startle him any further. Trembling again, the ash-blond downright pleaded, "Please, please don't hit me! I… I swear I won't do it again! I'll be good! I… I will do better, but please don't hurt me…"

After hearing him cry out so desperately, the gears in their brains started to connect the little ticks in his behavior and the discomfort he sometimes displayed as well as the warnings they often got from their son when they overstepped their boundaries by accident.

"Oh no," was all that Kenshin uttered as a terrible foreboding started to form in his mind. Everything started to make sense now and the conclusion they came to wasn't soothing at all. Yoshiko was nearly in tears herself as she bent down to pick him up and her husband helped her to place him back on the bed. Not quite knowing what to do, both sat down next to him and wrapped him in their arms together. It became obvious that Koushi was still trapped in his panic attack, seeing how he wasn't able to separate the present from his nightmares at the moment. Part of him knew that he needed to snap out of it – therefore he dug his fingernails so hard into his arms that blood began to spill out of numerous little scratches. Daichi's parents worried naturally about the increasing number of cuts and the bleeding that resulted from them. The only thing they could do to fight against his attack was caressing and holding and rocking the terrified male, while they murmured sweet nothings into his ear and shushed him from time to time. It was without a doubt the worst panic attack he ever experienced, but with patience and care he managed to overcome it eventually.

In the end, not one of them realized just how much time had passed before the three of them finally fell asleep in the guestroom, still holding onto each other with Koushi laying in the middle.


	18. Chapter 18: A family to forget the past

_Sorry for the late update, I stayed longer with my friends than I had planned (and caught a cold too...)_

* * *

 **Chapter 18: A family to forget the past**

In the early hours of the following morning it was time for Daichi to return from his refreshing, yet tiresome night out. By the time he returned, it was already nine a.m. since he had stayed with Hayato Ikejiri, his friend and volleyball team member from Izumitate Junior High.

"I'm home! Sorry that I was gone for so long – Ikejiri and the others kept me for too long and the storm made it too dangerous to drive!" he called, slipping off his shoes and hanging his coat on the coat hook.

Yet, there was no reply from anyone in the house. Not only that bothered the police office, but also the fact that it was deathly silent, despite the time of the day.  
 _That's unusual. My parents are normally up by now… I can't even remember the last time they slept in! Did something happen while I was away?_ His worries increased with each passing moment, as he hurried towards his parents' bedroom. After knocking politely and getting no reaction at all, he pushed the door open without waiting – only to realize that their room was completely empty and looked as if they had been in a huge hurry before. Panic rose in his chest as he rushed now to his boyfriend's room. Arriving there, he halted in his steps with widened eyes as he took in the sight right in front of him.

Laying in Suga's bed were currently his mother and father, who were wrapped around his beautiful boyfriend who slept peacefully in their middle. Daichi had no clue what had happened in his absence, but figured that it couldn't be too good if they ended up sleeping in and sharing the bed despite Suga's age. The leftover treats and cocoa were another indication. Eventually, the brunet decided to let them sleep a little longer and went back to the kitchen to prepare a light breakfast for the four of them. But not without snapping one or two photos of his lovely family! About one hour later, he noticed light footsteps coming closer to where he set the table. Before he could check who joined him, he felt tender arms snaking around his waist. A quick look over his shoulder convinced him that it was indeed his boyfriend, who awoke from his deep slumber.

"G' mornin'… Hold me?" the ash-blond mumbled into Daichi's shirt which muffled his voice slightly.

Even though his greeting was a rather quiet and timid whisper, Daichi still managed to notice how strained and hoarse he actually sounded. So instead of giving him a verbal answer, the brunet simply turned around and wrapped his arms around his back and waist.

While his thumbs mindlessly circled wherever they could, he asked softly, "Bad night, huh? I'm sorry that I wasn't here to help you through it. Wanna take a shower and have breakfast with me?"

After giving it a little thought, his boyfriend replied, "It had never been that bad before… I wasn't myself and I probably unsettled your parents. Could we stay like this some more, please?"

Daichi said nothing, but used his fingers to raise Koushi's chin. The blank look, accompanied with his dull and lifeless eyes, startled Daichi immensely. _Something awful must have happened… He has never been in such a bad shape before._ It wasn't a lie to say that he looked absolutely horrible this morning – worse than ever before. The brunet had witnessed his night terrors and bad days in the four month they already lived together, yet he was never prepared for the particularly bad days. Nothing could ever prepare him for the moments where all life seemed to have fled his otherwise gentle, delighted and mischievous boyfriend. Therefore, it came quite naturally, that he wanted to do everything in his power to distract him with love and affection, little gifts or small gestures throughout those days.

After a moment of contemplation, he suddenly picked up Koushi bridal-style and proclaimed, "Then we are going to take a bath together! I also need to patch you up, so we can do that afterwards. Up we go, my beautiful angel!"  
His first priority was set to distracting him from whatever made him so miserable the night before - they could talk about it at a later date, preferably with the rest of his family.  
Suga, however, gasped in surprise and felt heat crawling up his face. He couldn't possibly shower with him _here_ of all places! And that guy even wanted to get into the tub with him! Just the mere thought of having his tanned and beefy lover _naked_ in front of his eyes was enough to send his heart racing! And not to mention those sexy thighs! His imagination ran wild as he thought about what they could possibly do up there and it resulted in Suga blushing even harder. And the reaction his body made didn't stay unnoticed by his observant soulmate either.

A smug grin flitted across his face and he murmured huskily, "Oho, did you think of something inappropriate just now, Sweetums? I certainly wouldn't mind taking care of more than just your stress and cuts, you know?"

Some very unmanly squeaks escaped Suga's lips now and he hid his burning face in Daichi's chest. His earlier struggles were immediately forgotten and an entirely different plight occupied his still slightly hazy mind. That kind of remark wasn't helping his current _situation_ at all, instead it made the whole thing even worse! Now he was even filled with a thrill of anticipation as they stalked up to one of the bathrooms – away from his slumbering parents. The moment the couple stepped into the bathroom, Koushi found himself getting pressed against the locked door. Lips met lips and soon enough the ash-blond opened his mouth to let his lover's tongue slip inside. Despite being a little hesitant at the beginning, it didn't take long for him to be absorbed in it. There were times where he was really touch-starved and filled with so much longing that he just couldn't be without Daichi. Both weren't sure why though, but the brunet didn't complain at all about a needy Koushi, just like now. While they stopped to catch their breath, the brunet moved back to turn on the faucet - still wanting to bath with his boyfriend. The rustling of clothes filled the room as they got rid of their clothing, accompanied by soft moaning as Daichi's hand glided gently over his skin.

"Stop... Stop teasing me so hard, Dai! You're terrible!" the ash-blond complained with a bright red face, growing more irritated with each gentle touch and each suggestive look. To seduce him even more, Daichi took his sweet time in unbuttoning his own shirt and pants. It irked his soulmate noticeably, which in return amused the brunet slightly.

With his voice lowered, Daichi growled softly into Suga's ear, "Seems like something else is getting pretty hard, too! Come here, babe!"

Koushi grumbled something unintelligible in his embarrassment, yet he let himself get pulled into the tub together with his lover. The warmth of the bubble bath that surrounded him was a true blessing for his sore body and having Daichi's arms wrapped around his waist resulted in him leaning closer against his chest. Only when his lover's big and calloused hands of his started doing their magic, Koushi attention shifted to nothing but the feeling of those fingers. Soon enough the ash-blond lost himself in the pleasure Daichi gave him. With the way they sucked on each other's tongues, it became obvious just how much they desired each other.

Now it was Koushi who turned a little mischievous as he batted his eyelashes and pleaded in a sensual voice, "Dai… I want to feel you so bad! I need you so desperately!"

If it weren't for how much this statement turned him on, he would have blushed profoundly. Therefore, he grabbed him by the waist and switched their position so that they were both comfortable in that tub. Daichi prepared Koushi with practiced movements, hitting his most sensible spots without trouble, which elicited moans of pleasure from the overly sensitive ash-blond. As he kept calling out his lover's name, lost in his lust, Daichi himself got incredibly turned on until he couldn't hold out any longer. Being in the hot water stimulated the couple in a new, unfamiliar way as they loved each other. For a while, both of them could forget everything else around them and simply enjoyed their warmth and closeness.

Yet, all good things must come to an end and the couple returned (cleaned up) to the dining table. Though, it was a miracle that Daichi's parents hadn't woken up from all the noise the lovers had made while they had sex. The ash-blond helped with heating up the breakfast Daichi had prepared earlier, while said male went to check on his parents again.  
Upon arriving, he could see that his parents were awake by now and he greeted them smiling, "Good morning, you two! Did you finally decide to return to the living? Breakfast is ready in a few too, although it's more like a brunch now."

Yoshiko yawned and stretched her tired limps, trying to remember just where she was and why it wasn't her bedroom. Once she recognized the room as the guestroom, which was currently occupied by Sugawara, the mother jumped up, suddenly wide awake.

"Where is Kou-Chan?! Is he alright, dear? He had a terrible panic attack in the middle of the night and even with all my experience as a nurse, I never witnessed an attack with such an intensity!" the anxious woman yelped, grabbing onto her son's shoulders and shaking him slightly.

Putting a calming hand on top of her shaking fingers, he soothed her, "Don't worry, he's okay right now. He was really shaken up this morning, so I tried to distract him a little. I haven't talked to him about last night, but I figured we should do it together as soon as he is ready. Let's get something to eat first, though – Koushi is heating up the breakfast, I had cooked earlier."

After catching her breath and sighing deeply, his mother nodded and went back to her bedroom, together with a still sleepy Kenshin. And soon enough the little family of four sat together at the table. They ate in silence, all four were a little tense and awkward after the previous fiasco. Obviously, nobody wanted to touch the subject at hand. However, keeping quiet about the whole problem wouldn't help anyone either. In the end it was Suga himself who broke the uncomfortable silence.

With his gaze bored to the table, he whispered, "I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused yesterday. I don't even know where to begin. Please understand that this is nobody's fault but mine for not being able to get over my past. I- Uh... I forgot my medication, or rather I didn't take it at all the past few days, hoping that I could cope with everything without relying on some pills to be in a good mood. Wasn't such a good idea apparently… Everything I wanted to forget came back to me at once and it overwhelmed me last night."

His hands started to tremble just remembering the fear and desperation he went through. After all, he still had the bad habit to bottle up all of his negative emotions and problems until he reached his breaking point. Just like the night before. With the intention of getting his shaking under control, he buried his face in his hands. Tears threatened to spill over and he really didn't want to fall apart in front of Daichi's parents. Stopping his medication unsupervised and abrupt wasn't his smartest idea, despite being so responsible and careful throughout everything else in his life. And because of that he had to suffer from the consequences in form of the night terrors, the feeling of sickness and general discomfort. Which ultimately led to his intense panic attack. The mere thought of last night's nightmare was enough to break him a little more. After all, it was a memory of his very first near-death experience and the circumstances that led to it. Taking a shaking breath, he closed his eyes completely, losing his inner fight of keeping a strong front up.


	19. Chapter 19: Memories of another time

_Oh boy, this chapter... I tried something new and I am really uncertain about the outcome. Please, tell me what you think about it and if I messed up at some point. I appreciate it, should you point out mistakes and stuff._

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 **Chapter 19: Memories of another time**

The next moment he opened his eyes again, he found himself facing his own past. In the literal sense. Right in front of him was his 15 year old self together with his first boyfriend. What was going on all of a sudden? And why was he seeing it from third perspective anyway? Was that some sort side effect from his discontinuation of his medicine? There was no logical explanation as to why he was forced to watch his memories play out like a _ghost -_ and a _ghost_ was the closest he could think of in his current situation - therefore he had no other choice but to wait until whatever this was, was over.

 _"Hey, Koushi? Are you for real? I can't believe that someone as gentle, kind and heavenly beautiful fell in love with a fool like me..." a powerful yet timid voice whispers. The young teenager, Sugawara Koushi, smiles a tiny, happy smile and squeezes the hands of his first boyfriend, who sits with him on his bed after a tiring study session._

 _He, too, never thought that someone as strong and fearless as Homura Reizen would fall in love and confess to the withdrawn and antisocial ash-blond. And now, the fledgling boyfriends sit shyly next to each other, not quite sure what to do with each other with that new relationship. So, young Suga decides to observe the tall male in front of him, which was quite embarrassing as his present 'ghost' figured in the back._

 _He is definitely well build, seeing how much those muscles shine through his way-too-tight shirt. Emerald-green eyes are gazing with sheer passion right back at his tiny boyfriend and his narrow lips form a little smile. A light blush was spread across his bruised face currently and it makes the tough and rough guy even look unusually cute. Wild and unruly blond locks adorn his face, sticking up in every direction possible. Despite his gruff demeanor, he is in fact a good looking guy._

 _Sugawara had known about his infamous reputation and a troublemaker wasn't necessarily something that he was searching for, especially with that monster of a father. Yet he felt himself drawn to that person nonetheless. And who would have thought that this guy had quite the soft side hidden from everyone else? In all the time they had known each other, he had witnessed more than once that the 17-years old_ _hothead_ _wasn't as brutal and aggressive as many people in the school mistook him to be. Instead, he was actually truly protective of those he cared for._

 _That, too, was one reason for Sugawara to fall in love with him. For the first time in forever, he could experience love and care and he feels warm and secure whenever they are together. It is the same for Homura, since he had been avoided simply because of his wild appearance and loud personality for most of his time starting in Middle School. Suga never judged him for anything and took his time to actually get to know him. Therefore, it had only been a matter of time for them to develop romantic feelings._

 _A happy smile creeps up young Sugawara's face as he thought like that and he leans a little closer. After a moment of comfortable silence, Homura opens his mouth to speak with a mischievous smirk, "What are ya staring at? Are ya dazzled by my coolness, beauty?"_

 _The young ash-blond blushes upon being caught staring and stutteres timidly, "No- Nothing! And don't call me that, it's embarrassing!" Light laughter filles the room, infecting the 15 year old as well. On the spur of the moment, Homura leans down and connects their lips in an awkward first kiss. They don't work perfectly with each other; their teeth clash a little and the angle they choose isn't the best. But no matter what, the unexperienced couple enjoys the sweet, intimate moment._

 _"Seems like we need a little practice, huh? Tell me whenever you are uncomfortable, especially if it is too much or too early for ya. I want ya to feel good and content with our relationship, Koushi." Homura whispers while resting their foreheads together._

 _In response, Sugawara rubs their noses together and mumbles with a anxious expression, "Thank you… Could we keep this a secret, though? My dad isn't the nicest person and I doubt he would accept us…" The ash-blond avoids directly looking into his eyes, in case his request would be rejected or even judged – a feeling that doesn't go unnoticed by his partner.  
Just seeing the anxiety that is now openly visible on his face, is enough to convince the blond to fulfil each and every wish Sugawara might have and he swears to himself to watch out with great care, if it helps his timid, but supportive boyfriend._

Watching his past-self give everything he had with all the trust he could muster up, sent a tinge of sadness over Koushi, as he could never forget how everything had ended. Nearly ended. He didn't understand why he was seeing all of that now of all times, but there was no time for him to wrap his head around the whole situation as his surroundings turned to nothing but a sea of black until another memory popped up, followed by more scenes one after another. Not all of them were clear, some visions were blurred, seeing how he couldn't possibly remember every little detail, especially with the horrors which his father had put him through.

Their relationship had worked out. For four months, they had managed to keep their love hidden from public, curious classmates and even their families. Nobody had questioned the increasing amount of time they had spent together. They often had stayed at Homura's place with the excuse to study or hang out, combined with many, many sleepovers. It had proved to be a great change of pace for the ash-blond, seeing how it had allowed him to stay away from his violent father. He hadn't told anyone, not even Homura for a long time, about the horrors he had experienced with that drunkard and how much said man had tended to violence whenever something wasn't pleasing him or his ridiculous standards. And that had been, a daily thing sadly. Even locking himself in his room as often as possible hadn't always provide safety. There had been times when he wasn't fast enough, or the door got kicked in after several minutes of shouting and arguing from downstairs. Sometimes things had gone downhill for him the moment he stepped inside after school. Nobody knew what was going on in their home and since not even the neighbours had wanted to get too close to his father, he simply had been trapped. As a result of that, nobody had realized just how damaged the young teen already was, mentally and physically. Not until it was nearly too late.

After watching the ups and downs of his former relationship, he found himself in a memory that tucked at his heartstrings, for it showed his first breakdown in front of another person. This person being Homura.

 _It takes a while for Homura to figure out that something is amiss with Sugawara and his household. At first he notices how easily his boyfriend is startled by loud voices, especially his excited shouting. He doesn't think anything of it - he simply assumes that he isn't fond of noise. At a different time, he does begin to worry when Suga flinches away from a rushed and energetic approach of his. However, the moment he sees the big and ugly bruises that are scattered across his lover's chest and thighs, he feels all the pieces snap together and he freezes in place. All erotic intentions are forgotten as an incredible anger rises up in Homura. For the first time ever, he really wants to hurt someone. The monster that dares to lay his hands on his poor and scared boyfriend precisely._

 _However, his hatred melts away to change to something entirely different, when Suga's eyes begin to water and soft hiccups erupt from his throat. Without waiting, Homura wraps his arms softly around the ash-blond's slim waist. Peppering him and his bruised chest with tender kisses is all that is needed to help calm Suga down. After another painful silence, it was Suga himself who decides to open up._

 _"It- It's my father… Since I was five… I don't know why he turned out like that, apparently something about him losing his company, money problems and alcohol abuse following his fall. He's turning to violence whenever he's drunk. That is rather often…"_

 _Homura could detect that many of these bruises were older, shockingly to say, but there are also ones that suggest they have been added more recently. These, however, aren't the only wounds that bother him. When he inspects him closer, he notices small, pale lines that cover his arms all over. Some of them are still red, meaning…_

 _"Oh no, Koushi… Please don't tell me, that you've done that to yourself! Why didn't you tell me you were hurting to the extent of resorting to self-harm?!"_

 _Said ash-blond lowers his gaze and confesses, "I know I shouldn't do that… At times, where I am simply desperate to feel at least something, I tend to cutting. It's been going on for a long time and it's my way of coping with all the stress, pressure and violence I have to get through because of my father, school, fear for the future… The pain and the view of blood are calming, in a way."_

If the present Koushi were to be honest, he didn't even know when he started to feel… nothing. Surely, it had gotten better with the therapy he visited after everything was over, however, these feelings hadn't vanished entirely, not even now. Emptiness had been all he was familiar with for years, seeing how his own family had abandoned him long ago. He had known very well that it wasn't normal to feel neither happiness nor sorrow and his lack of motivation for everything on especially bad days, had indicated, too, that at least something had to be wrong with him. His school had noticed his trouble in concentrating and his ever present fatigue, but a call to his parents had resulted in another beating at home after an awkward discussion between his parents and the teacher. As ironic as it may seem, they always had acted like the perfect family towards any outsider, never showing how cold and broken their household actually was.

 _It scares young Suga, knowing that he is different than any other teenager around him. Teenagers who usually radiate happiness, love or hope. He simply hadn't learned how to express his inner thoughts and being around other people had always been a problem in itself. Even understanding his own emotions (or the lack of them) proves to be difficult. That too, is a reason for why he has only a few people he can call his friends, despite being in High School already. These people had been sticking around since middle school and tried to be as supportive and understanding for their weird friend as best as they could and that alone is enough for the ash-blond teenager._

 _Young Sugawara had attempted to keep these parts of him a secret to Homura, afraid he would break up with him after figuring out that his cute boyfriend was 'broken'. The realisation that he has failed yet again, caused his mood to drop completely. His hazel-brown eyes lose all light and dull out to match his lifeless expression - his signature smile replaced by an unreadable, emotionless frown. Seeing Suga look so fragile and dead, scares the living daylights out of his boyfriend! Homura pulls him closer immediately and he starts mumbling sweet words, hoping it would cheer him up AND show just how much he adored him, not matter what had happened to him in his past and how unstable his mental state is. It helps in the end and after a thorough discussion they find themselves closer than they had been before._

 _"I know that it probably doesn't help at all, but I promise to stay by your side. Maybe we can get ya out of that house! I don't know, but maybe ya could live with my family or in some sort of dorm or something. But please promise me that you stop hurting yourself. No matter how hard it is, but I am afraid to lose ya, ya know?"_

Whatever it was that caused young Suga to promise something so important, it had strengthened the bond they had shared and things had started to get better, even though there was nothing that ever eased the pain and emptiness deep within Sugawara's heart. ** _  
_**True hell had broken loose about one year after they became a couple on a quiet and late afternoons.

 _Sugawara and Homura spend that day studying for exams in Suga's place. Homura in preparation for college, Suga for his exams during his second year of High School. His parents aren't home, which led the couple to their current situation. Homura presses his shy boyfriend into the sheets of his bed and has Suga's lips captured in countless sweet kisses. They never had gotten any further, as the ash-blond still isn't that comfortable with intimate actions, not matter how good Homura's intentions are. A part of Suga just can't get over the fact that they aren't soulmates - aren't meant to be together - despite their corresponding chemistry. Although he would never say that out loud, after all he is glad that he even found someone who cares for him. To add some more pressure onto the ash-blond, their relationship is at a rather unstable point by now, after Homura had discovered his own soulmate just two weeks ago. Young Sugawara is certain that it would mean the end for them soon, but his loyal partner tries his best to prove him wrong. Therefore, the two of them find themselves getting lost in touching and kissing each other, more intimate than ever for the duration of their relationship **.**_

 _This time they get completely caught up in the atmosphere while making out, resulting in both males shirtless and out of breath. Unfortunately, neither of them hear the click of the door in their jumble. Only with his door getting kicked open, they jump away from each other. Suga wears a horrified expression, whereas Homura is quite flustered as things were just about to get exciting. Yet he begins to understand his lover's fear the moment he catches sight of Sugawara-Samas face. His father's lips are pressed together in a thin line, his sharp, dark eyes are narrowed and the hatred he obviously emits, seems to surround him like a shadow. The elderly man is absolutely enraged upon stumbling across his son making out with someone. With another man nonetheless!_

 _With a deep growl in his voice, he yells at both guys, "What. Do. You. Think. You're. Doing?!"  
Without allowing any of the boys to speak up, he points at Homura and snaps, "You there, get out of my house NOW and don't you dare come back!"_

 _He directs his gaze directly at Homura, before he junks him away from his son. The blond hothead can tell from the way he had just been grabbed by the arm, that this man doesn't know how to hold back his force or probably just doesn't care if he hurts anybody. Shortly after he is thrown out of the house by said man, he can hear shouting from the inside. And it is not an overstatement to say that the usually fearless 18-year-old was scared like hell. Scared about the fact that his boyfriend is now in huge trouble and alone with a man who tortured him for years already._

 _"So, you're also a fucking faggot, you piece of shit?! I knew I should have beaten more sense into your useless head! Do you understand what kind of shame you bring to this family?!" a loud voice boomed, shaking Homura by the core._

 _He really wants to run back in, grab his boyfriend and run away, but sadly that is not an option as of now.  
'I will get him out of there tomorrow. And I will definitely call the cops onto him, so that he gets the punishment he deserves. This will work out...' Lifting his own spirits isn't as easy as usual with the worry busying his mind, but he creeps home anywhere, since he is in no position to help him for now. A huge mistake he had realized when it was already too late._

Present Koushi stood by the window and watched his ex-boyfriend walking away, but not without looking back several times. However, a scream was enough of a reason for him to turn around. He, too, flinched upon re-facing the wrath and the curses of his father as fists rained down and kicks were placed on whatever they met first on the poor teenager. Koushi closed his eyes, trying to escape those memories, but when he opened his eyes again, the scenery had changed once again. Now, his past self was sitting in the bathroom on the floor, tears were streaming down his eyes and his whole being was shaking like hell. His older version inhaled sharply, because he could clearly remember his next actions, words and everything that followed.

 _"Why am I not enough? And why does it hurt so much?! I… I can't continue with this! Homura is going to leave me for his soulmate and with him gone there is just nothing for me left…Maybe dad is right. Maybe I should just vanish?"_

 _A hollow and pained voice whispers in the cold bathroom. Hollow, just like his entire being. The little voices inside young Sugawara's mind had told him time and time again just how worthless his existence was. How he was better off dead and that it clearly would benefit everyone he ever met. Nobody would miss a failure like him. He is sure of that. All of his hurt, his problems and the undeniable loneliness that had haunted him for forever combined to this huge helplessness. It pushes him over the edge and finally makes him reach for his hidden blades. Some old and rusty, pieces of a pencil sharpener – his only faithful friends. Young Suga doesn't waste time for weighing up pros and cons of drawing through with his final plan. He takes a deep breath before he presses the blade against his pale skin. Cut after cut gets added to his 'collection' of wounds until his view starts to blur and strange dots appear wherever he sets his eyes._

The same thing happened to present Koushi's eyes, and yet he was able to make out how his younger self heaved himself into the bathtub – simply because he hadn't wanted to make even more of a mess. It hadn't taken long back then for him to fall out of consciousness due to the rapid blood loss.

After blinking once more, he could see and hear how his ex-boyfriend entered the house. From the light shining through the half closed curtains, he assumed that it must be early in the morning. But why was he even able to witness what had happened outside of his own control? Was any of it real or just the way he hoped things had gone? No matter how much he mulled it over in his head, there was just no way for him to reach an answer.

 _When Homura arrives at Suga's house after his college classes, nobody comes to answer the door. There is no car in the entry way, meaning his parents are away. 'Is Sugawara too scared to open the door? What if something else had happened?' he thought to himself. Panic rises in his chest, as he fumbles for the hidden spare key under one potted plant and as he makes his way inside. Still no response to his shouting. Homura goes to check every room and possible hiding place in search of Suga, but couldn't find him anywhere. After finishing with the few rooms downstairs, he rushes up the stairs to his lover's bedroom, only to find it empty as well. He is just about to turn around, yet stopped his movement when he notices light coming from under the door to Koushi's private bathroom. With steady steps, but shaking hands he reaches for the door handle. A strange feeling of foreboding fills his chest as he opens the door and soon afterwards, his breath catches in his throat. There, right before him, is Suga, sprawled on the floor of his tub, covered in blood. A bloody letter lays on the ground in front of the tub with one simple message._

 _"I'm sorry, that I couldn't keep my promise. Please forgive me, Homura. I truly did love you, even though I knew that your heart had left me not too long ago. I realized, too, and I understand. Sorry for wasting your time, when you found your fated partner. Please be happy from now on."_

 _Guilt. Guilt is all he feels the moment he reads those words. Yes, he did find his soulmate, yet he hasn't given it a try as he is still with Koushi and definitely not ready to abandon him for someone else. They understood his decision, since they know the ash-blond as well and want him to let go slowly and carefully. But now, the fragile boy is lying in his own blood, fresh cuts covering his arms and shoulders. Blood is still oozing from large cuts on his wrists and if the puddle he lay in meant anything, he is in great danger by now. It isn't certain for how long he was in that shape and Homura struggles at first with what to do now. Fortunately, he still has a pulse, even if it is feeble and barely recognizable._

 _In the end he calls for an ambulance AND the police while he tries to get the bleeding to stop, or at least stop him from bleeding out completely. Help arrives shortly after and Homura is getting pushed out of the room to answer several questions from paramedics and the police officers. They wrap it up in no time and the ash-blond gets carried away on a stretcher, leaving his probably now ex-boyfriend on the sidewalk to break down in front of a young police officer._

Koushi watched in silence how the scene played out. Seeing how strongly Homura had tried to save him was a truly confusing thing to him. After all, the man turned strangely possessive and aggressive after their relationship had ended. _'Did my suicide attempt drive him over the edge? Am I the reason for why he chose the wrong path?'  
_ These thoughts were interrupted by a louder, more familiar voice. A voice that sounded deeply worried when it called his name, begging him to snap out of whatever daze he was in. That's when he realized that this voice belonged to his beloved soulmate, Daichi.


	20. Chapter 20: Opening up

_I hope the previous chapter wasn't too much of a mess, I'm really unsure about how it turned out... Any opinions?_

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 **Chapter 20: Opening up**

Koushi… Hey, babe, snap out of it! Everything's fine, you hear me? Please, open your eyes…"

Being shaken by the shoulders is what Koushi brought back to the present again. Upon opening his eyes, he was met by three different pairs of eyes that stared at him with worry evident on their faces. The ash-blond realized only now that he was silently crying and clearly nobody knew what to make out of that uncomfortable situation. Daichi was the first to react as he situated himself next to his boyfriend and pulled him gently into his arms. Hearing that he refused to take his medication was worrying enough, especially with the impact that it already had in his whole life. The brunet was angry at him for being so careless, but he decided to keep quiet for now, with how startled his boyfriend was. While Koushi nuzzled into his boyfriend's chest, Yoshiko whispered calmly, "Kou-Chan, you should take better care of your health. We wouldn't judge you for anything. What happened last night to cause such an intense panic attack? In all my years of working in a hospital, I've never seen anything that bad…"

After taking a moment to collect himself, Koushi confessed with his head lowered, "I had tried to take my life at the age of 16. The nightmare last night brought it all back..."

A confession of that kind left the Sawamuras speechless, Daichi tightened his hold on Suga and his parents walked across the table to pull him into a group hug. Koushi avoided looking at them, not quite ready to face their reaction towards his suicidal backstory. It shocked the little family, learning that he had been desperate enough to end his life. Feeling the urge to learn more about his past, especially _those_ parts, Daichi asked him gently, "Would you tell us more? Only if you're comfortable with it. What had happened and how were you faring afterwards?"

He let his fingers dance across Koushi's arms in an effort to distract and calm him, while he watched him closely. The ash-blond took a deep breath and leaned some more into the touch of his loved one. Koushi had known right from the start that he would need to talk about those things with his new family. Yet, doing it wasn't as easy as it might sound.

"It had been hard. Life in general, I mean. I was at my lowest point that time because _everything_ just went down at once. My abusive father had caught me with my ex-boyfriend and assaulted me for being a disgrace to his oh-so-precious family by being gay. Another factor was that I learned that day that my partner had found his soulmate, but didn't want to let go of our relationship, which I didn't like because the bond of soulmates had been and still is a holy and precious thing to me. We argued that day, especially because I was already falling apart because of father's abuse and the depression I had suffered from for years."

While he talked, Koushi kept rubbing certain places on his lower arm and wrist, the places where his worst scars reminded him of that gruesome time. Daichi took his hands and caressed his scarred skin in an effort to soothe him. That also stopped Koushi from scratching his already irritated skin some more. With the little break in his speech, he took a sip of his coffee, enjoying the remaining warmth of the drink. After all, his throat did feel dry following his strange flashback AND the long explanation he had to give.

Yoshiko, Kenshin and Daichi waited for him, sensing he still had more to say, but neither of them rushed him to do so. Allowing him to open up at his own pace was important after all. For his health and the trust they shared.

A moment later, the ash-blond continued, "At that time, it wasn't diagnosed yet that I suffered from severe depression - since there was nobody to care at home and I pretended to be _normal_ in school and stuff. I don't know how to describe the way I felt back then. It's like I was empty, I didn't feel a thing, emotion wise. Nothing excited nor pained me, outside the physical abuse of course. I used to cut since I was 13 years old because it made me feel _something._ Alive so to say. And I did for six years. That last night I had given up on life, thinking that there would be nothing left if I were to be abandoned by my first lover as well. I cut until I lost consciousness from the blood loss. The next time I woke up was in a special hospital where I stayed for a long time after being diagnosed. It wasn't easy and I tried to do it again but... It got better, I moved away when I went to college and I started making friends, or rather I tried to get closer to the ones I had, meaning Shouyou, Tooru and Morisuke."

Now, having finished with that part of his dark past, he dared to look up at Daichi and his parents. Their gazes were soft and warm with no traces of pity. Something that warmed Koushi's heart and caused him to smile at the end. _They don't judge me... Somehow, it's as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Getting it all out feels truly calming.  
_ Since he felt the need to show them how much he trusted the family, _his_ family, he got up from his seat and went back to the kitchen, to the sink to be exact. The ash-blond used to cover some of the bigger and more visible scars with make-up, especially because he was working with children. So, it wasn't surprising that Daichi hadn't seen these ugly bruises either. A moment later, he returned and laid his old wounds open for display.

"I'm covering them most of the time because I don't want the kids to see them. Don't wanna set a bad example or scare them. They are, kinda, a daily reminder of those days. A reminder that I did survive despite all odds." Koushi explained softly.

By now he was looking back at his patient listeners, ready to observe any reaction they might show because somewhere deep in his heart, he was certain that he wouldn't be blamed or cursed for his cruel past and his lack of judgement concerning his actions back then. Their gazes were filled with sympathy and it became obvious that they cared immensely about the young man. Yoshiko patted his head in a soothing manner and wiped a remaining tear away with her thumb.

"Thank you for sharing your story with us. It really means a lot to us. There is nothing we can do to change the way you had to suffer, but I can promise you that we will keep you safe and sound in our middle. You're a part of our family now and I hope we can change your life for the better. If you're ever troubled by whatsoever, be sure to talk to any of us." the sweet lady proclaimed, not stopping in ruffling his hair for even a second as she talked.

The other two Sawamuras added some kind words as well, assuring him in every possible way. Being presented with so much love and understanding brightened Koushi mood all the more. He wasn't alone anymore. They didn't know everything that had occurred to him, but they were involved enough to get the gist of things. Which was all he wanted at the moment – they had all time in the world to learn more about each other after all.

"Thank you, Misses Sawamura. I mean it." the ash-blond mumbled with a shy smile gracing his lips.

However, a little pout found its way to her face and she couldn't help herself but rebuke him slightly.

"Kou-Chan, you know fairly well that you don't need to be so formal around us. There's no need to be shy at all!"

Kenshin added softly, "She's right, young man. After all, we're a real family now and seeing how you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, you can act completely casual with us too."

Daichi as well, nudged him gently, which convinced Koushi to address these people in the most informal and personal way he could allow himself. He didn't even remember when he used these titles the last time in his life. Not to mention that he was part of a real family for the first time ever, so it held way more meaning to him than anyone could imagine.

"Okaa-San, Tou-San… This means so much to me. I- I've never felt truly at home _anywhere_ before. But I feel like I found a place to belong after so many years now. Thank you, for enlightening my life and allowing me to be part of yours."

More tears threatened to flow down his cheeks upon these few sentences, but this time, they were tears of joy and relief.


	21. Chapter 21: Christmas without Sachiko

_In this world mpregs are possible because I say so. We all need Sugamama and others :D_

* * *

 **Christmas without Sawamura Sachiko**

Two days after his mental breakdown, normality had returned to the family of four. Sugawara had returned to taking his much needed medication and the family found themselves growing closer. Christmas Eve was just around the corner now and the preparation for a hearty dinner were in full bloom. Yoshiko and Koushi were busy cooking up a storm, whereas Kenshin and Daichi set up the living room for them and Daichi's grandparents who had wanted to meet the ash-blond as well. Both 'teams' casually conversed among themselves about whatever came across their minds. For once, Koushi felt absolutely at peace, even his fear of Kenshin had disappeared. It was noticeable as he hummed a random melody while he chopped vegetables next to his future-mother-in-law.

"You're really into cooking, aren't you?" Yoshiko asked after some time.

With a soft smile he answered, "Yeah, it's always been a passion of mine. I like the feeling of freedom it gives me. It makes me even happier when the children at the kindergarten enjoy their meals. Those happy smiles the kids give me when they are eating is what I live for."

"You love children, huh Kou-Chan? Have you ever thought of starting a family of your own?"

A question like that caught him off guard and startled him so much that he almost cut his finger. Almost that is. The thought of him raising a family of his own did sound inviting, however, he couldn't imagine himself being a father or giving birth. He would totally fail his child, wouldn't he?

Yet, he knew he had to answer her at some point, so he stuttered with obvious self-consciousness, "I… Uh. I never thought about it. Yes, I am very fond of children, but I never found myself in a position where anything like that would even be a possibility. I don't think I would be a good father either…"

Yoshiko patted his head and reassured him gently, "Oh, I think you would be a great father. You're caring, gentle, and nice and you're good at handling children from what I heard about you at the kindergarten. At the moment, Dai-Chan and we are still mourning for Sachiko. However, my son loves you dearly and I'm sure that you could start your own family together once you two are ready for it. Even if it might take some time."

Koushi stared at the woman right next to him and truly wasn't sure how to feel about that statement. Part of him was flattered and happy because he was so highly thought of. On the other hand, he wasn't too convinced about the whole family thing, especially after the loss of Sachiko. Even though, Daichi had tried to assure him that it hadn't been his fault, Koushi hadn't been able to shake it off.

After staying silent for a few minutes, the ash-blond whispered, "You know, Sachiko was such a sweet, little girl. She was well behaved, proud and always helping the other kids. It's a miracle how I never met Dai whenever he dropped her off or picked her up before, but I always knew how much she was loved at home. She radiated happiness. I'm so, so sorry for what happened to her!"

The response was a sad smile, followed by a gentle hug. The two of them stayed like that for a while, with Yoshiko sharing cute stories and stories off difficult times with their grandchild whereas Koushi simply listened to anything the woman had to say. Unbeknownst to them, the father and son duo next door picked up onto their discussion and were smiling amongst themselves. The topic of Sachiko had been blatantly avoided by the whole family as it was the first celebration without that cute girl, which also meant it was unusually quiet in the Sawamura household. Therefore, it was a bittersweet moment for all of them. Koushi understood how hard it was for them, seeing how her death was only a few months ago. He knew that there was nothing he could do to make it better, so learning more about the girl and sharing stories about their time together seemed like the most comfortable way to acknowledge her departure. After all, he too had tons of stories to share, since he took care of her in kindergarten for three years as well. But for now, they had a dinner to prepare.

The following two hours went by in the blink of an eye, and soon Koushi found himself surrounded by Daichi's grandparents. They bombarded the ash-blond male with questions about his job, his friends, hobbies and likings and everything that came to mind. It reminded him strongly of the incident with Nishinoya, unfortunately. Only when their interrogation turned to questions about his family, Koushi started to stiffen up. Daichi pulled him closer by the waist and took a hold of his shaky hands.

"So, Suga-San. Tell us about your family! You must have grown up in a warm household, seeing how you turned out to be such a kind and gentle young man." the grandmother asked him.

Just as his boyfriend and his parents were about to intervene, the ash-blond took a deep breath with closed eyes and responded by himself, "Actually, my family was the complete opposite. I've been removed from that household by the age of 16 due to a violent father and an ignorant mother. If I am allowed, I'd like to think that being with Daichi feels more like home than anything else before. He's so warm and nice and he makes me feel safe and sound and comfortable in my own skin."

Instead of delving deeper into details about his past, the ash-blond began gushing about his lovely boyfriend, how he heroically saved him and just how gentle and understanding he was. Every member of the Sawamura family smiled happily at his praise of the brunet. The man in question turned bright red at all these kind words and the way Koushi leaned into his touch. Obviously with the intention of snuggling. On the other hand, he was kind of proud hearing how welcome and appreciated he made his boyfriend feel.

Hoping to transfer his embarrassment, he nudged him in his sides and inquired with a suggestive grin, "What's up, Sweetums? You're usually pretty reserved when it comes to PDA and such. Am I such an awesome boyfriend?"

Contrary to his usual habits, Koushi pressed his lips against Daichi's cheek for a second and answered with an equally smug expression, "Can't I express my undying love for you? You're after all, the best thing that ever happened to me!"

After succeeding in deepening Daichi's blush, he leaned even closer and whispered, "I love you, Dai..."

His family watched their sweet exchange with fond expressions. None of them had seen their son or grandson so happy and so in love before, so it didn't take much for them to grow fond of his fated partner. They enjoyed themselves that evening, praising Koushi's cooking skills, exchanging recipes and getting to know each other without any prejudice. After some hours their stories were mainly about their only missing guest: Sawamura Sachiko. Her great-grandmother had started the following discussion with a simple remark about how much she would enjoy this celebration together with Koushi. Sharing memories, accompanied by viewing the bunch of photo albums Daichi's parents had collected, turned the first gloomy atmosphere into something intimate and loving. Even the ash-blond had brought over a couple pictures from work, to the delight of everyone else. Actions like these showed just how much he wanted to be involved with his soulmate and his family. And they gladly accepted him as a new part of them.

The hours went by without anyone realizing just how fast it happened, and the family decided to call it a day. For today, Koushi and Daichi shared his bedroom, so that Daichi's grandparents could use the spare guestroom. Not like they argued about that, seeing just how strongly the young couple had fallen in love with each other.

As they were cuddling in bed, Daichi whispered softly, "So, I heard you talking with my mom today while we were decorating and stuff. Was what you said the truth?"

Seeing the confusion on his lover's face, he added, "I mean, would you really want to settle down with me? With a child and all?"

Upon realizing what he implied, Koushi sat up and blushed slightly, before he mumbled, "O-Oh, you heard that? I… Well, yeah, I guess? Wait! I, uh, I mean not like now or anything, but at some point in the future if you are ready for it! If you even want to have another child… I don't want to force you into anything!"

His insecurities shone through his stuttering, especially the fear or hurting his soulmate by saying the wrong things. Considering his loss and everything. Daichi placed himself behind his lover and buried his face in the crook of Koushi's neck. The touch of lips against his bare skin distracted the ash-blond just for a moment and it certainly helped in regaining his composure. The brunet slid his hands gently around Koushi's waist and caressed his flat stomach. The gesture itself was enough to deepen the rosy tint of his cheeks, however the words that flew out of Daichi's mouth touched his fragile heart even more.

"Calm down, babe. It made me happy, you know? I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it was adorable how you two talked about children and my daughter. Also the way you turned red after mom complimented you… I could sense your unease during that discussion, and I assure you there is nothing for you to worry about. In fact, I would love to have children with you in the future. You're the love of my life and you having my baby sounds like a wonderful thing to me."

Countless kisses followed this sweet confession, until the couple snuggled together under the blankets. Koushi used his boyfriend's brawny arm as a pillow and wrapped his arms softly around his chest, whereas said brunet put his free arm over the ash-blond's waist to pull him closer. Just like that, they fell asleep with nothing but happy thoughts.


	22. Chapter 22: Troublesome teacher

**Chapter 22: Troublesome nursery school teacher**

At the same time at another place Oikawa Tooru was faced with quite a troublesome situation himself. He wasn't as lucky as Sugawara, meaning he had to work over the holidays. But like the generous man and employer he was, he allowed his ash-blond, as well as his ginger-haired colleagues their days off. After all, they did earn it with all the blood and sweat they poured into their work. Now, however, he really, really wished that his fellow teachers were in the kindergarten. It wasn't the kids, who messed around, but his own miserable state of health, which made him long for some assistance. The young brunet was hanging onto the toilet seat in the restroom of the faculty room for dear life, currently emptying his stomach from his breakfast. As if that wasn't bad enough, it was something that bothered him for nearly two weeks by now at the most random times. Of course, he hadn't told Iwaizumi about it - he knew that his lovely fiancé would worry without end and he just couldn't abandon his job and leave Yaku and Yachi alone with all the work.

Luckily, the children were napping at the time, so it proved to be no problem for Yaku to help his obviously sick superior. Yachi could manage the kids, who weren't too fond of their daily napping time fine by herself.  
"You should really see a doctor, you know? You've been vomiting for several days in the past two weeks and you're even moodier than usual. Dammit, you yelled at one of the little devils today and ended up crying yourself minutes later! What the fuck, man?" the smaller male complained with his stricter voice.

A little whine escaped Oikawa upon that and he gladly accepted the glass of water his friend had offered him after he had rinsed out his mouth.  
"I don't want to visit the hospital on Christmas! Hajime has made plans and invited our parents as well, so I can't ruin all of their efforts with that sickness. It's probably the piled up stress anyway. But, I'll go home early today and the kindergarten is closed next week, so I will rest starting today. Thanks for worrying though."

Yaku wasn't entirely convinced, which is why he decided to keep an eye on him for the remaining hours. That decision turned out to be absolutely correct, as he would learn not too long after this unfortunate bathroom incident. Unbeknownst to him, Oikawa had already figured out, what exactly was going on with him, he just didn't find the courage to actually talk about it with anybody yet. Said male was simply terrified of eventual changes, especially in terms with his daily life until now. On days like these, there were only a few children at the kindergarten and even those unfortunate souls were picked up shortly after noon by their respective guardians. As Yaku was about to finish his last duties for the remaining year, he made a discovery that left even him a little speechless back in the faculty room. There was his usually responsible and efficient boss, Oikawa Tooru, quietly snoring in one of the beanbag chairs without a care in the world. The whole view was something so unrealistic that Yaku thought for a moment that his own fatigue was playing tricks on his mind. _  
I can't believe this. I know that he has been exhausted and more than usual for the past weeks, but this? Who would have thought that I would see THE Oikawa Tooru in such a defenceless state?_

Feeling his motherly senses coming back, the small nursery school teacher went to grab a blanket to keep his obviously ill friend warm before he got back to finishing with his duties. Duties like making sure that every child was safely picked up, cleaning the place and putting out a sign, which informed of the following closed week of the kindergarten. One hour had gone by, by the time he returned to the faculty room. His female colleague had just left, so it was just Yaku and Oikawa. Of course, the smaller one tried to wake his superior, however, _that_ seemed to be more problematic than he had imagined. This guy just wouldn't wake up! Even moving him around proved to be useless.

Therefore, he chose to do the next human thing his brain could think of: taking him home. Though, he couldn't deny that the rather evil part of him had wanted to leave him where he was to avoid the upcoming trouble. Calling Iwaizumi turned out to be a futile since he wouldn't answer any phone calls. Not even Oikawa's.  
 _Must be busy, just like that idiot mentioned. Maybe I should ask Lev? I'm sure he isn't working today... He DID just come back from his training abroad after all. Let's give it a try!  
_ And with thought Yaku Morisuke called his giant, half-Russian boyfriend Haiba Lev. Who also happened to be his soulmate!

"Morisuke! You don't call me that often – is something wrong or do you miss me that much?" an excited voice yelled as soon as their phones connected.

A sigh escaped Yaku's lips and he rubbed his forehead in irritation at this greeting. It was also quite embarrassing, seeing how he hit the bull's eye this time. With every assumption. To cover that up, he grumbled, "Oh, shut up, Lev. I thought you had nothing better to do right now, so you might as well help me here at the kindergarten with some lifting. Move your lazy ass, 'cause you're the only one available AND strong enough, as much as I don't want to admit it."

His cheerful partner didn't take any offense in that statement and agreed happily to assist his boyfriend with whatever was needed. Lev was simply excited since Yaku was someone who wanted to solve most things on his own. Especially because their height difference brought many issues to their everyday life, much to Yaku's dismay.  
Half an hour later, Yaku found himself getting lifted into the air by his overly excited partner. A high-pitched yelp escaped the smaller male's mouth, whereas the giant guy giggled happily while he spun his lover through the air. It goes without saying that the whole act was hella embarrassing for Yaku, but stopping - or rather calming - _his_ dork didn't work quite well.

When the small brunet was finally set on the ground, he was just about to complain about his childish behaviour, yet he was interrupted again. This time by the touch of lips against his own. For a moment, his eyes widened, but he gave into the kiss seconds after overcoming that first shock. As the half-Russian slipped his calloused hands under Yaku's pullover, said male opened his mouth unleashing a wistful sigh. Lev took that as a sign to deepen the kiss, so he changed the angle and slipped his tongue in to explore his lover's mouth. Truth is the couple hadn't seen each other for six months by now, because Haiba Lev was one of the lucky guys who had been able to stick to his dream of becoming a professional volleyball player. So, it was only natural for those two to be all over each other.

After a few lust filled minutes, a panting Yaku shoved him gently away and straightened his clothing to look like he hadn't just heavily made out at his deserted work place.  
Seeing his partner after such a long time brought a smile to his face and he just couldn't be mad for a long time at him. So, he stayed within arm's reach and stared dreamily into those slanted, green and very feline eyes. How much he had missed seeing that mischievous smirk! Morisuke would have never believed that this idiot of a wannabe-volleyball ace, could grow up into such a fine, young men – all void of baby fat, well build and athletic. Now, his face was adorned with shoulder-length grey hair, currently perfectly styled with gel and he was wrapped in an elegant, black coat, a red scarf and actual fancy boots.  
 _I can't believe that I got turned on HERE of all places, though he surely looks sexy today… Damned interviews, making him dress all nice and fancy… Hey, stop thinking about that, Morisuke! I really shouldn't make out with him at the kindergarten! Even if there is nobody but Tooru in the building. Speaking of which…_

"You remember Oikawa Tooru? The former volleyball star and my boss? I need some help with him because he had been unwell for the last two weeks and he fell asleep on me today. He won't wake up, so I'd like to take him home. Can you carry him? Neither him nor I use a car to get here."

Even though the unexpected request took him by surprise, Lev agrees to it nonetheless, and lifted the sleeping brunet carefully onto his back. His boyfriend led the way to the Iwaizumi and Oikawa household, where they rang the door hoping to bet let in. Fortunately, Iwaizumi Hajime did answer the door, but he didn't notice Lev in the background right away.

Iwaizumi greeted the unexpected visitor with a small smile and spoke, "Oh? Yaku-San, what a surprise to see you! Can I help you with something?"

"Hello, Iwaizumi-San. I hope we're not interrupting you or anything. I'm not sure if this is my place to meddle, but I'd advise you to take Tooru to the hospital sooner or later." Yaku explained to him while pointing behind himself towards his own soulmate.  
"He has been suffering from nausea, vomiting and absolutely annoying mood shifts for the past two weeks. I guess I don't have to tell you that he is more exhausted than normal, seeing how he fell asleep in one our beanbag chairs and wouldn't wake up for the whole walk. This guy probably hasn't told you anything to refrain from taking time off, you know how he just can't ask Shou or Koushi to shorten their vacation in favour of his own health. Please, give him a piece of your mind and force him to rest properly!"

A confession of that kind shocked Iwaizumi and he let both, or rather the three of them in, offering them to stay for some coffee and sweets as a compensation. Although, they put Oikawa to bed, before they sat together in the living room. As they were sipping on their coffee, Iwaizumi addressed his guests, "I'd like to thank you for bringing Tooru home. Sorry that I missed your calls, though. You said that it has been going on for the last fourteen days? I feel awful, knowing that I didn't realize something was off with him… I'll definitely take him to the hospital as soon as he wakes up. Shall I text you later once we figure out what's wrong?"

Yaku nodded, since he actually was pretty worried about his close friend. Lev picked up on his soulmate's concern and moved automatically closer to him. In an instinctive gesture, the small brunet leaned into his warm and broad chest. Lev himself never truly understood why their instincts reacted so strongly towards each other and it certainly surprised him when he started picking onto different shifts in Morisuke's mood when they were around each other back in High School. The protectiveness he had developed over the small libero had unsettled him at that time, but today they were totally in sync with each other. They were confident in the stability of their love. After realizing they were truly meant for each other, Yaku hadn't been sure if that was a blessing or a curse, especially because he had denied for quite a while that he actually fell in love with his stupid kohai. Lev however, had been the complete opposite though, since he fell in love at first sight, but had doubted the other would ever reciprocate his feelings. It took the meddling of Kuroo for them to talk things out and finally start their relationship.

Back on the sofa, the young couple ended up snuggling without even realizing it as they reminisced for a bit. Iwaizumi smirked upon seeing his cuddly visitors and decided to look after his own fiancé to give them some room. The police officer knew all too well how much the separation took its toll on them, after having been gone for some investigations for a few weeks himself before. Though he wasn't particularly close to Haiba Lev, he knew about him through Ushijima Wakatoshi, who too was a member of the national volleyball team of Japan. Therefore, he had heard about the long and tough training camp, they had just returned from. In the end, the unusual couple left only half an hour later to catch up on all the months they spend apart and also because they didn't want to keep Iwaizumi away from his tasks and soulmate any longer.

Shortly after, Oikawa awoke from his deep nap and blinked his eyes open. He didn't realize where he was laying, but the fluffy blanket and the bunch of pillows were reasonable enough to stay wherever he was. As he rolled over, he recognized a scent he was familiar with.

"Hajime…" he whispered dreamily, a soft smile gracing his lips.

The brunet pulled one of the pillows closer and wrapped himself completely in the calming scent of his grumpy fiancé. It put his mind at ease and allowed him to rest some more – his body seriously needed that right now. Just like that, he spent the next few minutes dozing off. What he definitely hadn't planned was falling asleep for the next few hours, only to be awakened by loud voices from one of the rooms next door. Tooru sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, still a bit dazed from so much rest.  
 _What's with all the noise? It's like I forgot something important, but what is it? God, I feel like I've slept for ages… And where the hell is Iwa-Chan, right now? I'd much rather cuddle with him…_

Once he realized that he was pouting from his own chain of thoughts, he cursed silently under his breath, "Stupid hormones," and sighed – annoyed with himself.

Eventually, he ran one hand through his hair and decided that he could get up very well, too. After all, he was wide awake now. Therefore, he climbed out of bed and grabbed a change of comfortable clothing and went to refresh himself. Fortunately, his nausea and dizziness had vanished completely and a shower sounded just right and it, literally, washed all of his remaining unease away. It was almost reviving after the day he had. As he lost himself in his daydreams, Tooru began singing some random song without a care in the world, filling the room with his gentle, melodic voice. By the time he stepped out of the shower, he felt more alive than ever.

After he styled his hair again to its usual fluffiness, he took a moment to stare at his reflection and found himself softly smiling at one particular thing – his stomach. With slightly teary eyes, he put his hands on the little bump down there and he whispered softly, "Don't worry, baby. Mama is going to take great care of you. I already love you with my whole heart."


	23. Chapter 23:An unexpected X-Mas surprise

**An unexpected Christmas surprise**

In another room downstairs, Iwaizumi Hajime was busy entertaining his parents and his parents-in-law, as well as sister-in-law with her son, Takeru. He didn't have a chance to cancel the little dinner the families had planned a while ago and frankly, he just couldn't do that, since they were mostly looking forward to meeting their sons again. So, he decided to explain them that his fiancé was unwell and resting, which was accepted without question. After all, his health comes first. Therefore, it was quite the surprise when said brunet stepped into the living room. Oikawa greeted his family with a gentle hug and sang happily, "Ka-Chan, Tou-Chan! It's so nice to see you! Sorry for sleeping through your visit!"

Of course, everyone was overjoyed to see him, the long and tight hugs showed that, but they were still worried. According to Iwaizumi, he has been seriously ill, so why was he walking around and acting as if nothing was wrong?

"Are you alright, sweetie? Hajime told us you weren't feeling well," Tooru's mother asked with a worried expression.

Tooru however, sat down next to his lover - joining their dinner - and grabbed a plate for himself. It didn't go unnoticed how he piled up different dishes, completely ignoring if they matched together. The brunet had never been much of a big eater, heck people had to remind him to even eat proper meals! Yet, here he was, gulping down a huge amount of food as if he hadn't eaten in days. That too, was a reason for the rest of them to worry, since it was a fact that he had thrown up for some time now.  
 _He wouldn't possibly do it on purpose now, would he? Even if he did gain some weight, apparently, he wouldn't take such drastic measures!_  
Thoughts of him suffering from bulimia seemed way too far off, something nobody would ever imagine, so they scrapped that idea as fast as it came up in the first place.

Hence, both families observed the easy-going brunet more closely out of concern, searching for any sign of a switch in his casual behaviour, the delighted mood or even a glimpse of his announced sickness. Iwaizumi found himself forgetting the former tense atmosphere pretty quickly and helped in lightening up their family get-together with easy chatter. In the end, their apprehensions were cast away in exchange for discussions about each other's careers, the newly-engaged life and plans for their future altogether.

As the time progressed, Tooru started to fight against his inner demons, which really _, really_ needed Hajime's cuddles. It irritated him even further when his now 15-year-old nephew, Takeru, began crowding Hajime with his stories about his self-proclaimed _soaring_ volleyball career, the harsh but fun training with his high school team and countless questions about how to improve his skills as a wing-spiker. The brunet scowled in frustration at their agitated conversation and decided to put the dishes away to escape that situation. Was it too much to ask for some attention from his soulmate?! Sure, he understood that Hajime was the best person to address with that subject, seeing how he had played in that position for so many years himself. However, that didn't mean he liked to share _his_ Hajime with other people, not even with his own family.

With a pout evident on his face, he worked his way through the dirty dishes, kind of trying to distract himself from the longing that seemed to have overtaken every cell of his being. Of course, he wasn't alone for long because his sister, Kasumi, joined him soon after. The older female assisted him silently with drying the dishes and storing them in their dedicated places, but that was a familiar thing for both of them. The whole situation caused Tooru to feel quite nostalgic, since the two of them had worked like that their whole childhood long. As he was dwelling on memories involving his onee-chan, he didn't notice her approach from behind, nor the fact that his eyes were stinging with forming tears. Therefore, it took him by surprise when she suddenly wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I think I get it, otouto-chan. It's because of _that,_ am I right?" she whispered into his ear while she put her hands gently onto his stomach.

The brunet gasped and turned his head a bit to stare at her, startled by her sudden, but correct assumption. His eyes were wide and full of questions, but she simply smiled at her little brother and explained, "If you should have forgotten: I AM a mother myself, even if I don't look like it. Yeah, it has been a while, but I do recognize signs of pregnancy. Plan to drop a bombshell anytime soon?"

Tooru leaned some more into the embrace and scratched his neck in slight embarrassment. He hadn't imagined that someone would catch his little secret before he revealed it to his family – which in fact was his sole intention in getting their familes together today. As if out of the blue, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of misery and utter sadness as he realized that the whole surprise was ruined, now that his beloved Kasumi had caught him red-handed. Since he wasn't able to handle his emotions at the moment, he broke down crying in Kasumi's arms. She sighed in return and rubbed his back, hoping to calm this emotional mess of a brother. When was the last time she had to cradle her little brother in her arms? The poor woman wasn't the best at soothing other's and she felt slightly awkward with the whole situation, so she did the only thing she could think of at that moment. She called for Tooru's lover.

"Oi, Hajime-Kun could you swing your ass into the kitchen, _please?_ Do me a favour and comfort this idiot, here."

Said male ventured into the kitchen, albeit confused about her request and he startled upon seeing the distressed state of his soulmate. Iwaizumi and Kasumi switched places and soon enough Tooru found the warmth he was seeking since his awakening earlier today. Another reason for him to cry, unfortunately. His black-haired lover hadn't noticed any signs that might trigger a breakdown, so it wasn't an understatement to say that he was terrified. Especially, since the brunet was currently making no sense at all with his blubbering of completely incoherent things. It took a few minutes and a continuous backrub before Tooru settled down in his arms. The brunet had a small, coy smile on his face when Hajime wiped away the remaining tears from his cheeks. Instead of explaining the situation at hand, he leaned down the few inches of their height difference and pressed his lips lovingly against Hajime's.

As soon as they returned to the living room, Takeru decided to speak up, attempting to tease his weird uncle, "Took you long enough, crybaby? You kept us waiting far too long! What' wrong with you, loser?"

His remark was ignored by Tooru and he simply apologized for his short absence and being a little distracted earlier. Now, that the family was reunited again, they officially decided to start with their traditional gift exchange. It involved nothing extraordinary; mostly sweets, some beauty products like bodywash, one or two books and other small, more personal things. Iwaizumi however, got surprised by a fairly huge package from his partner. The brunet didn't say anything as he passed the gift to him - he just smiled softly and hoped that his nervousness wasn't too noticeable. Hajime tore it open and was first greeted by a bunch of colourful, crumpled up papers. It puzzled him even further, so he began sorting through all of them, until he discovered a little plush toy. A little Godzilla nonetheless! The cute little thing was wrapped in a two-coloured onesie, with the exclamation 'Daddy' on it. And apparently, Hajime seemed to be one of the _really_ dense kind, seeing how his only reaction was a tilt of the head. Meanwhile, Tooru's mother gasped upon realizing what type of gift this was going to be. Her son saw the way she struggled to keep her excitement hidden and snickered himself before his gaze wandered back to his lover. Who was still sorting through the package. Next thing he held in his hand was a rather cute looking box, decorated with many photos of Hajime and Tooru throughout the years of their friendship and relationship, as well as baby-related stickers and more not so subtle indications of what he wanted to convey. The stickers itself were pictures of baby wear, a baby's dummy, special pieces of furniture and other colourful things. The black-haired male inspected it only for a short moment – still not realizing what was going on - which resulted in several sighs from those around him.  
 _How can a man be this clueless? I thought it was pretty much obvious when I prepared that!  
_ Tooru was exasperated by now and shook his head. Even his nephew had it all figured out and he was ten years younger!

Right now, he regretted deeply that he had designed a little puzzle for him to solve if he wanted to check out the content of the box. He may or may not have been influenced by the children at his kindergarten. His toddlers had learned about it by accident, in a moment where Oikawa had been too distracted at work, trying to think of a way to inform his partner of their addition to the family. Of course, the curiosity of his little ones had earned them an explanation and in the end, they even insisted on helping him with creative ideas of their own. Never had he imagined that he would use a few of their suggestions for real.

The impatient brunet watched him fiddle with the fine mechanics of the box and began twiddling his thumps in order to calm his nerves as he was getting closer and closer to getting it open. Once it clicked, Hajime opened the little box, he first took out a card that lay on top.  
It said, "Remember your romantic proposal eight weeks ago? I've got a little surprise for you as well, my beloved Iwa-Chan! Check this treasure chest some more, honey!"

And he did just that. At the bottom of the box, he found an envelope, which was quickly torn open to reveal a little pink stick, attached to something else. Finally, Hajime's eyes widened and a gasp escaped his lips. In his hands was now an ultrasound photo with the words _'Congratulations, you're a dad!'_ attached to a positive pregnancy test. For a moment absolute silence filled the room, while Hajime gaped at Tooru and back to his _gift_ a few times, making funny, but strangled noises. As soon as he grasped the situation, he jumped up and wrapped Tooru in a bone-crushing hug. Happy tears were flowing down the black-haired's cheeks and he mumbled hundreds of _Thank-you's_. The rest of their families joined in congratulating once the soon-to-be-father calmed down enough. By the time everyone was once again seated, Tooru climbed into his lover's lap, where a pair of hands found their way onto the brunet's little bump.

"Oh my god… I'm going to be a dad! You… You're pregnant with my baby!" Hajime whispered, still slightly dazed.

With a little smirk, Tooru corrected him, "Well, to be honest, you're the father of our _babies._ We're expecting twins, Iwa-Chan! That's why I'm showing more than usual with eight weeks."

Now he had everyone's attention all the more, so he started explaining the ultrasound photo in detail to show off his cute little angels. Even Takeru seemed interested in the topic and held back his usual teasing. In the end they spent the rest of the evening talking about Tooru's children and his parents and parents-in-law reminisced in fond memories of their own kids. Who would have thought that this year's Christmas would include such sweet and unexpected surprises?

* * *

 _I hope this ending doesn't look forced or anything, but I'm suffering from a little writer's block... But I'm all in for an overly emotional Tooru during his pregnancy!_


	24. Chapter 24: Everyday heroes

_I'm sorry for not updating last week, but I was hella busy all week long! So, I decided to upload a second chapter in the evening today! Thank you for your patience (I know I'm lacking just that^^)_

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 **Chapter 24: Everyday Heroes**

The weeks following Christmas went by peacefully and the only thing that dampened the atmosphere was the worsening weather. It was the middle of February now and Tokyo was consumed by the worst winter for five years. Which also meant that the amount of work increased for Daichi as the snowy and slippery streets not only slowed down the traffic itself, but it caused more accidents that needed police support. Even Suga stayed longer at the kindergarten, seeing how many parents couldn't pick their children up as early as they normally would. The young teachers didn't mind at all – after all they loved spending time with those kids to teach them about the wonders of the world.

However, as much as Oikawa loved his job, he just knew that some unseen force absolutely wanted him dead with a winter like that. And his twins weren't making it any easier. Here he was playing house with two of his kids at the kindergarten with his usual smile plastered onto his face, despite the fact that his back was hurting like hell. Fortunate for him, that didn't go unnoticed by one of his dear colleagues.

"Oi, Tooru! Could you watch over Naomi-Chan for me? She needs her nap, but refuses to rest until you join her. How about Haruka-Chan and Makoto-Chan play with me for a change?" Suga called with his sweet, dazzling smile.

Both boys immediately lightened up and began shoving their brunet teacher over to the 'nappy room' so they could mess around with their favourite Senpai. Both boys were completely obsessed with swimming, which is why they loved pretending that they were swimming across one of these huge, blue blankets. They had been pretty disappointed at first when Oikawa had to turn down their idea because of an achy back and had proposed to play with their plush toys instead. After all, the nearly 17-week-pregnant teacher shouldn't roll around on the hard floor, not to mention that it would be hella uncomfortable with how much he was already showing. Suga and Oikawa switched positions, whereas the latter showed a grateful expression to his personal hero. Stretching out sounded like the right thing now, considering how sore he felt!

Yaku and Hinata were just as busy. The ginger was preparing healthy snacks together with the six-year-old Hikaru and the small brunet read to three other children with funny voices. Yachi spent her time with instructing one of her fosterlings in drawing, joining in as well. None of them were bothered by the fact that it got later and later each day due to the weather - after all, they too had to fight through the mountains of snow, slippery roads and the biting cold. Just the thought of meeting their respected partners at least at home was enough for each of them to power through each hour, each day a week. As the time passed, the kids were picked up one after another and some of them even left together - like Makoto and Haruka.

In the end, Naomi was the only child left at the kindergarten, getting quite impatient with waiting for one of her parents to pick her up. Once she warmed up to everyone at the kindergarten, Shinji Naomi proved to be a cute and lively child, but she didn't let anyone get closer to her for a long time. The way she distanced herself from others and how frantic she got whenever someone tried to initiate contact with her, was enough reason for Suga to grow concerned. Simply because her pattern of behaviour was awfully familiar to the ash-blond. Since he couldn't be entirely sure about his assumptions without proof, he kept it to himself until he discovered the first little bruises on her tiny arms. After that discovery, he involved his colleagues and they kept a closer look on her, but didn't find any more wounds after a serious talk with her mother.

In the end, Oikawa and Suga turned out to be her favoured caretakers, thus she only allowed them to play with her for the time being. Especially today, it enabled Yaku and Yachi to start cleaning the facility in the meantime to save time later on.  
However, the peaceful atmosphere didn't last too long. As if out of the blue the loud slamming of the front door startled the trio out of their playful banter. That, indeed, was quite the surprise, seeing how the main entrance was secured with heavy security doors to prevent the kids from getting out.  
It goes without saying that it worried both teachers greatly, knowing that the unknown person used enough force to actually _slam_ that door shut. A few seconds later, a large figure appeared behind them, clearly overshadowing the group on the ground.

Naomi was the first to react to the looming person in front of them and shouted happily, "Daddy! I was waiting so, so long! Can we go home now?"

Instead of giving the child an answer, he scowled at her and his eyes narrowed as she continued with her excited shouting. That reaction caused Sugawara to tense as well. Not only was Naomi's father at least one head taller than him and even Oikawa, but he was also of a bulk build. The obvious frustration on his face, as well his tightly clenched fists brought memories back that the ash-blond had buried deep, deep in his heart. Feeling the urge to protect both the child and Suga – curse his growing motherly instincts – Oikawa stepped forward and attempted to greet the stranger with his usual cheery tone, although he stayed wary and kept one hand on Naomi's shoulder. What nobody saw coming was the violent shove the brunet received, followed by a bellowing shout.

"Don't you dare talk to me or my family and get your fucking hands off of my daughter, you disgusting faggot!"

Fortunately, Suga was there to catch him before the momentum knocked him down. By the time Oikawa was pulled back to his feet, Shinji-San junked at his daughter's hand, not giving a damn about her scared cry. The poor girl was forcefully pulled out of the kindergarten, which alerted her current caretakers to follow them outside. There they realized just how much this man swayed with every step he took, so it became clear that he definitely wasn't allowed to drive a car. Even Naomi refused to step into the already demolished car with her mean father! That, however, proved to be the worst mistake she could have made. Within the next seconds everything seemed to slow down as Naomi was kicked in the stomach and was sent flying by the sheer force of the kick! Both teachers gasped in terror and Oikawa ran to her side faster than ever. Much to the distaste of Shinji. Before any of the teachers could even react, Oikawa saw a fist flying towards him! Unfortunately, his volleyball reflexes were long gone after his knee had given up on him in college, so he couldn't dodge or block the attack. The first punch hit him straight in the face, the next two aimed at his chest, followed by one kick in the back.

The pained cries of the brunet pulled Sugawara finally out of his terrified trance. With as much confidence as he could muster up, he pried Shinji away from his best friend and shoved him away from his current victims.

"Stay-Stay away from them and leave this location immediately! I won't let you lay your hands on them any further!" Sugawara called, completely ignoring his rapid heartbeat.

The ash-blond avoided the punches thrown towards him by sheer luck, while he tried to calm the enraged father. It was ironic how nobody was around at this time to help them out, but on the other hand, he was truly relieved that none of the other kids were around.  
Despite how dangerous and frightening the whole situation was, Suga managed to handle it well enough. He stood tall between Oikawa and Naomi and didn't budge an inch as he defended those who weren't able to protect themselves at the moment. The ash-blond's patience was even rewarded in the end when they finally received help. Help in form of Kuroo Tetsuro. The bed-haired detective overwhelmed the aggressive father and arrested him as soon as he jumped out of the car. At the same time, a young, blond woman came running, shouting Naomi's name with a panic laced voice. Her mother arrived. Sugawara suspected that one of his other friends and colleagues must have noticed the scene played in front of the building and had called the police along with Naomi's mother. As soon as the young woman saw her petrified daughter and the obviously injured teacher, she crouched down in front of them.

"Oh no... I'm so sorry that my husband attacked you! I thought he had changed after a serious discussion about his anger issues! Come to Mommy, Na-Chan."

Naomi didn't waste any time and dived straight into her mother's chest where she immediately hid her face. Finally, her dam broke and she began to sob freely. Seeing her little girl scared like that, the young female found herself shedding tears as well. Never before in her life had a single phone call terrified her to such an extent.

"Thank you so much, Oikawa-San! For protecting my little angel. If there's anything I can do to repay you, please tell me right away!" she cried out in relief.

The addressed teacher shook his head with a gentle smile and explained, "It's not me who saved her but Koushi. Sugawara-San, I mean. He is the one who managed to stall enough time until help arrived, despite the danger. Right, Kou-Chan?"

His gaze wandered to his friend and he startled immensely upon seeing the poor sight he presented. Suga was deathly pale, shaking like a leaf and his eyes were focused solely on the ground. Meanwhile, the remaining teachers stepped outside once it was save to do so. Yaku and Hinata helped Oikawa back to his feet and brought him over to the steps that led to the kindergarten, so he could sit down for now. Yachi went over to support Sugawara, who now started to sway where he stood. Now that it dawned on him what exactly happened just a few seconds ago, the whole situation sent him into shock.  
As the adrenaline left his body, it got replaced by panic. Memories of his own abusive experiences collided with the situation at hand and made him freeze on the spot. It had been so long since he was freed from his father's violence and he had thought that he was able to manage himself better by now. But seeing the new bruises on his pale, sensitive skin, brought _everything_ back again. Pain, oh so familiar, spread through several parts of his body until he couldn't recognize anymore which of it was even real. Suga was so caught up in his daze that he didn't notice a worried looking Kuroo right in front of him. Kuroo, who waved his hand right before his eyes, hoping to grab his attention.

 _I... I did it?! At least Naomi doesn't have to grow up in a nightmare now. But why does it hurt so much? God, why am I so dizzy all of a sudden? I... I need to snap out of it! And... Who is calling my name?_

These were the last things that went through his mind before everything turned black. Thus, the ash-blond never realized that another pair of warm, brown eyes was watching how the whole scene played out from afar.


	25. Chapter 25: Frightening news

_Okay, it's later than planned, but I couldn't access my page yesterday night^^_

* * *

 **Chapter 25: Frightening news**

In another part of Tokyo Iwaizumi and Daichi were completely unaware of the danger their soulmates were facing. Both police officers were just about to finish their work for the day, as they had a little double date planned for the night to let off some steam. It had been a long day for them - the paperwork just didn't seem to lessen that day - but at least they had something to look forward to. While they were casually talking about their respective partners, the peace and quiet got suddenly interrupted as somebody literally kicked the door to their shared office open. Out of reflex Daichi and Iwaizumi jumped from their chairs and pointed their weapons at whoever intruded the room. It turned out to be none other than their sly co-detective, Kuroo.

He put his hands up in surrender and yelled, "Woah stop, it's just me! Chill out, bro!"

Exasperated sighs were the responses he received and Iwaizumi howled angrily, "What the fuck, man! Can't you just walk in like a normal, civilized person?!"

Daichi glared at him and added, "You're lucky we didn't shoot you! Did something happen? You're usually the last person one would expect here at such a late time!"

Once the police officers were over the initial shock, they took in the sight of their fellow detective. He seemed to be a little out of breath and his dishevelled clothes initiated that he must have been in some kind fight earlier. On top of that, he acted a little strange and worry didn't match with his usual slack and easy-going attitude at all.

However, before either Daichi or Iwaizumi could question anything, Kuroo blurted out, "You guys need to go to the hospital as soon as possible! Sugawara-San and Oikawa-San have been admitted there not too long ago. Some aggressive father had acted violent against his own daughter and your boyfriends had tried to protect her. Didn't end that well. I'm just back from the scene, arrested that asshole."

For a moment it was silent in the room and for the respective officers it was as if time itself stopped. Their soulmates were in danger - hurt and probably scared. Their protective instincts kicked in as soon as they realized what was going on, and so the men scrambled from their desks in a hurry to see how their lovers were faring. Kuroo sent them off with the promise to take care of any remaining paperwork, so they didn't need to worry about that at least. The car ride in Hajime's car however, was torture for the worried men, since not knowing how severe the damage was, set Daichi and Iwaizumi completely on edge. Especially with Tooru's pregnancy and Koushi's fragile soul. When they arrived after what felt like an eternity, they rushed together to the receptionist.

Daichi greeted her politely and explained, "Good evening, we are here for Oikawa Tooru and Sugawara Koushi. They had been victim to an assault not too long ago and we need to speak to them. I'm police officer Sawamura Daichi and this is my partner Iwaizumi Hajime. We are also their soulmates, if you need to know."

The brunet knew all too well that it was nearly impossible to get access to a patient's room with no present family member. In case of soulmates entry was usually permitted as well, but not everyone accepted these circumstances without question. Thus, he may or may not have used his authority to see his soulmate, since they weren't married or engaged at this point. Not like Tooru and Hajime anyway. The nurse didn't question those two and showed them to the room the two teachers shared. A doctor was just finishing his examinations the moment they entered.

Oikawa lightened up immediately as he recognized the love of his life and he sang in his usual chirpy voice, "Iwa-Chan, you're here!"

Iwaizumi froze in place in place as he caught sight of his fiancé's state and he clenched his fists out of frustration. Oikawa's face was adorned with an ugly black eye and parts of bandages were visible at the neckline of his pullover. The brunet tried hard to reassure his soulmate with one of his careless smiles, yet he couldn't fool anyone since that gesture was clearly shaky.

Through gritted teeth Iwaizumi introduced themselves as police officers and on top of that, life partners of Suga and Oikawa. However, one look at his unusually shaken boyfriend was enough for him to drop any formality he had attempted to show at first. If he had only been on time today!

After hesitating for a moment, he addressed the doctor, "I apologize for showing up so late. How are they doing? Is… Did something happen to our babies?"

The doctor smiled at the worried boyfriends and explained without any prejudice against them, "I'm Doctor Shimada Arata and I've been responsible for Oikawa-San and Sugawara-San. First of all, I'd like to assure you that none of them are in any critical danger. Oikawa-San earned himself quite an impressive black eye and three more bruises covering his chest and one at the back. Luckily, there was no internal damage done and no scars will remain once he is fully healed. Your children are also save and sound and the incident won't cause any complications as long as you fiancé rests enough."

Doctor Shimada paused for a moment to let it all sink in and only continued once both officers sat next to their respective partners.

"Sugawara-San however, is a more difficult case. His injuries are minor as well, they just spread slightly more because of his lowered ability to regenerate. The shock had caused his unconsciousness, but I can't say why he reacted that badly. I figured that it must have something to do with prior experiences. Sawamura-San might have more clues to that aspect I assume. We'd like to keep him here for one night to make sure there isn't any more damage, which can't be seen now. Do you have any questions?"

They stayed quiet for a moment until Daichi broke the silence with his slightly shaky voice, "Is he gonna be okay? He will get through this, right?"

Seeing the usual tough brunet so lost and fragile was not something that Iwaizumi was familiar with and he certainly didn't like that at all. On the other hand, the last time he was in that hospital was after the loss of his daughter from a situation similar to the one at hand. Too similar!  
 _Poor guy. I really wouldn't want to be in his shoes right now. First Sachiko, now Sugawara has collapsed… Fuck, just how messed up is that!_

Shimada put a hand on Daichi's shoulder and promised him, "His body shut down to protect him from further damage, may it be mental or physical. He'll be just fine as soon as he wakes up. If it helps you relax, you could stay for the night. That way, you can see him the moment he opens his eyes. Since you are his only listed family member, we can organize that without a catch for you."

The brunet immediately relaxed his tense shoulders and accepted that offer with a grateful smile. After that, Doctor Shimada excused himself out of the room to get everything ready for Sawamura's stay. It stayed silent for a moment after he left and the group of four used that time to take in the whole situation at long last. Oikawa was the first to show any reaction at all when a weak sob escaped his throat. Iwaizumi startled and wrapped his arms in a protective manner around his middle. His cries where the only sound in the room for the next few minutes while Iwaizumi tried to calm him to the best of his abilities.

"I - I was so scared, Hajime! I can't believe that something so terrifying happened at my kindergarten. Again! I don't know what would have happened if Koushi hadn't intervened! There... There are so many things that could have gone wrong!"

In response to his cries, Iwaizumi tightened his arms around him and resumed to rubbing circles onto his back. There were no words he could say to make the whole events more bearable, so the black-haired male stuck to remembering them about the nearly smooth outcome and just how lucky they had been. In a way, it also helped Daichi to relax as he leaned forward to brush Suga's bangs out of his face. He was still scared, since his lover provided a horrible view at the moment with how pale and lifeless he lay on this bed. Yet, knowing that he was able to stay at his side until he woke up, calmed him significantly. His two friends stayed a little while longer, at least until Tooru got his emotions under control and had reassured himself that his dear Koushi was going to be okay and securely protected by Daichi.

"And you won't leave his side, you hear me? He was truly courageous against that huge 'n scary guy and I'm pretty sure that it reminded him of his own father in some way. Kou-Chan will probably be confused and maybe even frightened when he regains consciousness, so please stay with him!"

Tooru demanded with his arms crossed in front his chest and tried the most intimidating gaze he could muster up to convince the slightly smaller brunet. As intimidating as a 17-week-pregnant guy with red, puffy eyes from his crying could be. Daichi really tried to hide the little smirk growing on his face and struggled even more with the urge to pat his head a little. Iwaizumi however, was a whole different case as he stood behind his partner and literally threatened his partner to _take him seriously_ with just one look!

 _That_ did send a shiver down his back. Being on Hajime's bad side wasn't something Daichi was too keen on and he knew how protective he got whenever it came to Tooru. Thus, he promised with a salute to hover over Koushi without fail. Satisfied with his reaction, Oikawa nodded and got ready to leave the hospital. With the peace and quiet that returned to the room, Daichi finally began to process the events of tonight on his own. He could have _lost_ the love of his life today!

"Koushi… Why must you scare me so much? When Kuroo told me that you were submitted to the hospital, it felt like I lost part of myself. Everything slowed down and I… I remembered how Hajime called me about Sachiko's death. I don't know if you can hear me, but please… Don't ever scare me like that again. I love you so much!"

The brunet rubbed circles onto his lover's hand with his thumb and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his lips and his forehead afterwards. He sat in silence at his bedside and watched him peacefully sleeping until a nurse stopped by again.

"Sawamura-San? Well, that's something I didn't expect!"

The addressed male looked up and his eyes widened as he recognized who stood in front of him. Suga's nurse was a male that fit the description of _astonishingly beautiful._ His head was enveloped by short, messy, black hair and clear, green eyes were slightly widened upon noticing the brunet. Tender looking lips formed a slight 'o' in wonder. 'Akaashi Keiji' read his nametag.

His name rang a bell, yet he couldn't quite put a finger on it. Said nurse noticed his confusion and he explained, "You probably don't remember me, but I'm Akaashi Keiji. Former setter of Fukurodani. We played against each other in the Nationals before. The team of Bokuto Koutarou. I'm working as a nurse now, obviously."

A look of realization flit across the brunet's face and he called, "Ah, sorry I didn't recall you sooner. Your face was familiar, though. Shall I step aside?"

The raven-haired shook his head and answered, "I'm actually here to bring _you_ some food, figuring you wouldn't leave your soulmate's side from what I heard. So, you're Suga-San's soulmate?"

Daichi nodded in agreement and thanked him for the food – which was highly appreciated, seeing just how loud his stomach grumbled before he accepted the meal. While he took a seat at the table in the corner of the room, Akaashi went to Suga and started his usual examination. Luckily, nothing was out of the ordinary.

What Daichi did catch on was the gently running of fingers through Koushi's ash-blond hair. Despite the rather emotionless expression Akaashi gave out, it was noticeable how his complexion changed a little as he gazed upon the sleeping figure of Sugawara Koushi.

"You two are familiar with each other, I assume?" the brunet asked the nurse.

It startled the raven-haired and he even blushed a little before he decided on an answer.

"Yeah… We're friends. I met him in college when we worked in a little café together. Turned out we went to the same college, only took part in different classes. It's quite embarrassing to confess, but I had a major crush on him for a long time. Koushi wasn't looking for a relationship, especially out of the bond of a soulmate, but he did help me find my soulmate. We grew closer over time, especially due to his awkward flirting advice and his attempts of getting to know more about _my_ soulmate. He was a really terrible wingman by the way!"

He ended his summary with a little, melodic laugh and even Daichi was smiling, although he felt a tiny spark of jealousy ignite in his chest. In the end, his curiosity won over and the two of them shared stories about their individual times at college, a little bit of volleyball related stuff and exchanged a few things about their respective soulmates and their meeting. Apparently, Akaashi found his fated partner in the former Nekoma setter, Kozume Kenma - one of the few rivals his school was facing for years. They passed the time until Daichi let out a yawn. The raven-haired took that as his sign to leave and he wished the young couple all the luck in the world and a fast recovery on Koushi's part.  
In the end, Daichi occupied the empty bed next to his lover and let his eyes flutter close. Sleep overtook his exhausted body and mind and he found himself slipping into a dreamless sleep.


	26. Chapter 26: A new day

_I'm adding another update, because I messed it up on Archive of Own and forgot the last chapter... I'm an idiot._

* * *

 **Chapter 26: A new day**

The following morning Sugawara awoke to the sun shining through the opened curtains of an unfamiliar room. A jacket was hanging over one of the chairs in the corner of the room and a small duffle bag was placed on the plain white table.  
 _Seems like I'm in the hospital? I feel fine, though, so why am I here?  
_ Upon further examination he recognized it as Daichi's gym bag.  
 _Huh, his stuff is here. Did he bring it over due to my stay here? On second thought, where is Dai right now? He might know why I'm here!_

The grumbling of his own stomach pulled him out of his train of thoughts, so he climbed out of the bed and shuffled over to the table. Suga was set on getting some food, however, before he could do that, he seriously had to get out of his actual clothes.  
Knowing Daichi, he was certain that he had brought a change of clothes over for the two of them, and that was something he really needed right now. After all, he was also feeling a little gross from not being able to change and shower since yesterday. Since he didn't feel particularly bad, he decided on his own to refresh his sore body in the bathroom of his hospital room. Although, he still couldn't remember what had brought him here in the first place. For a while, the ash-blond didn't pay attention to his own body. Only when he caught sight of a bunch of blue and light purple bruises on his upper body and some marks indicating hand prints on his arms, a part of yesterday's event came back. The shock of the sudden influx of pictures and voices startled him so much that he hit his head on one of the shelves around him, causing him to crouch down with a pained groan to grab his head. He took some other supplies down with him, which created quite the commotion.

Fortunately, Akaashi entered his room to check on him and he arrived just in time to hear the little crash in the bathroom. Sugawara hadn't locked the door, just in case, which allowed Akaashi to rush to his side without bothering to knock beforehand. The raven-haired nurse supported his body and brought him back to his bed.

"Are you alright, Suga-San?! What happened?" he asked, fretting over the older male. Thank heavens, he didn't hurt himself any further in the process. Despite a small bump on his head anyways.

"It's nothing… I just didn't remember why I was here until a few seconds ago when I saw all these bruises. It startled me a little, but I'm fine now. I promise, Keiji, so please calm down. And drop the 'San' already, we've known each other long enough to drop these formalities."

Akaashi nodded in understanding, but continued to examine him until he was fully satisfied. Suga let him do as he pleased, knowing well enough, that he, too, was one with motherly senses, which would kick in whenever one of their close friends or family members was in some kind of trouble. Just like Yaku. That trait was one of the few things they all had in common - a trait that boosted and strengthened their friendship immensely.

Once the raven-haired was satisfied with his examination, he went out for another second to grab the food he had initially attempted to bring Suga, while the ash-blond changed into one of Daichi's huge sweaters. The pullover smelled just like Daichi and the fact that it was too big on him created the impression that he was wrapped in his strong arms. It made him feel at home. Before Akaashi left his patient's room for good, he informed Suga that his soulmate had left the hospital earlier in the morning just to grab a change of clothes and was currently out for a breakfast of his own. Now knowing more about his lover's whereabouts, the ash-blond relaxed visibly. Since he was starving himself, he accepted the offered meal with gratitude. The hospital food wasn't anything too fancy, but it filled Suga anyway.

Quite some time had passed since then without Sugawara noticing how late it got. After finishing his meal, Suga decided to lie down once again. There was just nothing he could do before his doctor allowed him to leave anyway. Thus, he turned his attention to his phone and exchanged a bunch of texts in a group chat with Oikawa, Yaku, Hinata and Yachi and started playing some random games to pass the time. About one hour later, he got examined by his doctor one final time before he received his discharge papers. Daichi still wasn't back though, after what was like an eternity to Suga. The brunet wasn't even answering his messages, which truly upset his soulmate!

"What is taking him so long?! And I can't just leave without him either," Suga mumbled under his breath.

He was getting impatient by now, not to mention bored with nothing to do. His thoughts wandered back to his handsome boyfriend and all of the time they already spent together. Memories of their many dates filled his mind and just imagining Daichi's warm eyes and his gentle kisses brought a smile to his face. Oh, how much he missed him already! As he was lost in his own little world, he didn't notice the entrance of another person to his room. Neither did he hear them calling out to him – only a touch to his shoulders tore him out of his happy daze. Hoping it would be his boyfriend, Suga turned around with a wide smile on his face.

Only for it to fade the instance he saw a timid looking woman standing behind him. A woman all too familiar to him. The middle-aged female was slightly smaller than Suga, had similar ashen hair – although it was tinted with a more grey hue by now. Her thin lips formed a shaky smile and her chocolate brown eyes shivered with emotion. Something about her whole expression and the way she fidgeted in her spot indicated insecurity or fear, but that was something Suga didn't catch on.

"Hello Koushi. Could you hear me out, please? I won't take much of your time, I promise!" she pleaded, while her hands found Suga's wrist.

However, that small touch sent a bolt of electricity through his entire being and he pulled his hand away almost violently. Sheer _terror_ struck him and he paled considerately, upon recognizing the woman in front of him. She was by no means a stranger, yet he felt like he didn't know her at all. After all, standing here in that small room was none other than Sugawara Yuki - his mother - the woman who had abandoned him all those years ago without batting an eye.  
I have been found! If she is here, then... He. He can't be here! Right?! She is going to take me away, take Daichi away! Does she plan to hurt me all over again?

All sane thoughts flew out of the window as panic settled down in the deepest part of his core. In order to protect himself, Suga pushed the female away and backed away as fast as possible. Unfortunately, he stumbled over his own two feet and crashed down, hitting his head on the edge of the bed in the process. Yuki tried frantically to calm the shaking boy, but her approach worsened the whole situation.

Koushi found himself overwhelmed by the pain and sorrow his life had consisted off for much longer than any human being could bear. Completely paralysed, he curled in on himself, letting out strangled sobs until a heart-breaking cry escaped his lips as she closed in once more.

The morning after this frightening incident, Daichi woke up in a little daze. His worries had prevented any peaceful sleep, thus he stayed awake far too long just to watch his boyfriend sleeping in the bed next to his. It had taken a few hours for him to doze off as well, but watching him sleep did wonders to his strained nerves. After staring at the ceiling for a few more minutes, he climbed out of his bed, not wanting to go back to sleep and padded over to Koushi. The ash-blond was peacefully snoozing as if nothing was wrong, which brought a smile to Daichi's face.

 _At least he's a peace for now. I should use that time to get back home to gather some things for him. I'm sure that he wants to change into something clean once he is awake._

A soft murmur grabbed his attention while he thought about what he should do next.

"Daichi… I love you. My Dai-Chan…"

Koushi rolled over and snuggled some more into the blanket with rosy cheeks and a soft smile gracing his lips. That he was talking in his sleep was nothing new to Daichi – he had witnessed it from time to time. Warmth rose up in the brunet's chest and he reached out to caress his lover's cheek. Said ash-blond however, wrinkled his forehead, seemingly disturbed in his comfortable slumber. His soulmate smirked a little and bent down to kiss the wrinkles away, which caused Koushi to sigh happily, despite that he was still fast asleep.  
 _God, he is cute... I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a sweet and precious soulmate! I better get going, so he has everything he might need, whenever he's going to wake up._

Before he could get up to refresh himself in the bathroom, the door to their room opened to reveal Akaashi poking his head in. His eyes widened in surprise upon noticing that Daichi was already up - it was still rather early.

"Good morning, Sawamura-San. I see, you're already awake even though it's only 7 in the morning. How are you feeling?" Akaashi questioned him with his quiet and calm voice.

"Ah, hello! I didn't sleep much to be honest, but I'm okay. At least Koushi seems fine... You're here to check on us?"

He nodded in agreement, but scolded him for neglecting his own health, even if it was out of worry for his partner. After all, his was just as important as Sugawara's! Something about Akaashi's stern behaviour caused Daichi to apologize for his recklessness, but a light pat on his head took all the seriousness away, which resulted in a rosy blush on Daichi's part. Akaashi laughed it off with obvious amusement and the two of them fell into light chatter - always minding the sleeping ash-blond, though. When it came to the raven-haired's soulmate, it was his turn to turn crimson for he was a rather shy fellow. Just like his lover.

After some time Akaashi confessed, "Kenma is a great guy and I am truly fond of him, but we are keeping the display of affection down in public because of his social anxiety. I don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I'm trying to show him how much I care for him whenever it's just the two of us. Not everyone can be as loud and overbearing as Bokuto-San and Kuroo-San."

The brunet noticed how his face screwed up a little at the mention of Kuroo and stated, "You don't really like Kuroo, huh? But I get what you are talking about. Koushi doesn't like to be the centre of attention himself and being around people like those two can be pretty stressful. I'm working with Kuroo from time to time and I feel like I know _way too much_ about their relationship, even if I haven't met Bokuto, yet. By now, just the mention of Bokuto is a forbidden topic at the police station whenever Kuroo is around because _nobody_ wants to listen to his exaggerated gushing about his _perfect_ boyfriend."

Both men smiled a little at the turn their little discussion had turned. It was comforting to know just how similar their partners were at one point or another and that they shared certain experiences, considering their loved one's personalities. They already felt closer than just a day ago! Together with their passion for volleyball and the heavy matches they played against each other in their high school days, those two had more in common than previously expected.

Nearly an hour later, when Daichi finally noticed just how much time they had spent talking, he excused himself for now in order to grab a change of clothes for his still snoozing boyfriend. Since Suga was probably exhausted from yesterday's events, he decided to use this chance for a quick drive home. Even if he had to call a cab, since his own car was still at home.  
Once he stepped inside his house, he let out a sigh and whispered to himself, "What a mess... Who would have thought that I'd start into the weekend at the hospital? At least Koushi didn't get seriously injured."

Not having it inside himself to relax now, when the love of his life was out cold in that stupid hospital, he immediately went to the bedroom to pick out some fresh clothes. He even packed one of his own sweaters, knowing how much the ash-blond loved to steal his clothes. Daichi never questioned it, simply because it was just one of these _boyfriend habits_ people often talked about _._ It became obvious that not only girls were into these kind of things! Packing a bag didn't require much time, thus he figured there was enough time left to take a shower before he had to return to the hospital. Freshly showered, the brunet sank into his sofa in the living room and was just about to doze off, when the ringing of his phone interrupted the peaceful silence. For a moment, panic rose up in him with the fear that something had happened to his boyfriend, but it faded away as soon as he saw the caller ID. Iwaizumi's name showed up on the display.

"Good morning, Daichi. I hope I'm not interrupting you somehow. Tooru kept bugging me about Suga-San's health, so I decided to give you a call," Iwaizumi explained as soon as his call was picked up.

Daichi was glad that his loved one had such close friends and he knew how much Oikawa cared for his friends, despite his silly antics in association with them. Thus, he answered honestly, "Well, I can assure you that he was sleeping in peace without any problems. Unlike me, but you get me. I just got home to grab some clothes for him. Figured now would be a good time because he was still asleep when I left the hospital. How are things with Oikawa?"

As if he had listened to the conversation, Oikawa's high pitched screeching reached Daichi's ears in such a volume that he had to put his phone away from his ear. That guy was talking too fast for Daichi to understand a thing. He wasn't even sure _who exactly_ he was talking to! It took Iwaizumi's intervention to calm things down, but at least the brunet wasn't going to lose his hearing anymore.

A little embarrassed, the deep voice of Hajime came through the line and he apologized quietly, "I'm sorry about him. Please don't take it personally. He's having a really emotional day today. Hormones, you know. I actually got myself slapped today, because I told him we couldn't visit Suga and you so early in the morning. Half an hour later, he came up to me crying because he snapped at me. So, I figured calling you might help the situation and save me from getting murdered or something."

The whole story was rather amusing in Daichi's point of view, even if he felt a little bad for his friend. Since the brunet had experienced the pregnancy of his former girlfriend, he knew exactly what you _shouldn't_ do or say to a pregnant person if you don't want to find yourself locked out of your house in the middle of the night.

"Never underestimate someone who is carrying your child, Hajime. And don't even try to question whatever Tooru craves, no matter how strange it may sound to you. I'm speaking from experience, you know the story. But back to the topic at hand; I'm about to head back to the hospital and depending on his mental state, you could come over later today. I'll text you later?" Daichi laughed with a fond smile on his face as the conversation made him reminisce about his time with his pregnant ex-girlfriend and their cute daughter.

This little happiness didn't last for long though, once it dawned on him that he had lost _both_ of the most important people he had considered as part of his family. The sudden silence alerted Iwaizumi immediately. They were close enough to be able to figure it out whenever one of them was struggling and this time, the black-haired male understood what was wrong with certainty. He felt extremely conflicted, now that he had indirectly reminded his friend of his family loss. Therefore, Iwaizumi tried to cheer him up a little by reminding him that his _soulmate_ was still there for him and that the possibility of having his own family wasn't out of the world - even if it could never be the same as before.

Daichi accepted his good will and reassured him that there nothing to worry about. The wish to see his boyfriend was now stronger than before, so he ended the call with the promise to invite the couple as soon as possible. By the time Daichi returned to the hospital it was already 9 a.m. - which was still too early for regular visitors. Unfortunately, he had to confront a rather strict nurse at the reception, who wouldn't budge an inch in her decision, especially since Daichi wasn't related to Suga. Akaashi, who happened to pass by at the moment, noticed his little dilemma and took the bag from him.

With a polite bow, he addressed Daichi in front of the problematic acting nurse, "Thank you for bringing Sugawara-San's things over, Sawamura-San. I'm sorry to burden you so early in the morning! I'd advise you to try out the little cafe across the street for some breakfast. That way you can easily pass the time until 10 a.m. and maybe you'll feel better from your stressful night here."

It didn't escape Daichi that Akaashi acted especially respectful, maybe to prove the other nurse wrong. Instead, he played along and thanked him for taking such great care of his life partner and the hospitality he was offered to watch over him as well. Both men smirked a little before parting ways in different directions after seeing the annoyed and slightly uneasy expression on the receptionist's face. The brunet even decided to try out the mentioned café - his grumbling stomach convinced him in the end. He didn't regret it either, because the food there was just divine and the coffee woke his tired body and mind some more. Not to mention how absolutely delicious it was! The waiters and waitresses were kind as well and the sweet, young lady serving him even distracted his worried mind with some small-talk. Along the way Daichi learned that the café usually served guests, who had friends or family members admitted to the hospital. As a result, every worker in the little shop was specialized in comforting the most likely scared guests.

Just like that, the remaining hour to the start of visiting hours went by faster than he had expected. The brunet bit his farewell and strolled over to the hospital. This time, though, he was allowed to see his partner without anyone causing problems. What he didn't expect, however, was the ear-splitting scream, which resonated in the hallway. A voice all too familiar. With just one single cry Daichi broke into a run as one single question came up in his mind. Just what was happening to his beloved Koushi?


	27. Chapter 27: Starting anew

**Chapter 27: Starting anew**

Akaashi and Daichi met each other halfway in the hallway. The raven-haired male had heard the scream too, so he abandoned everything he had been doing until then and hurried down the corridor to check on Sugawara. He had absolutely no clue what could have triggered him that much! After all, when the two of them had been talking not too long ago everything seemed just fine with him! The moment both men entered the room, they discovered the unfamiliar women, who stood in front of Sugawara and frantically tried to calm him down - it wasn't difficult to see that she wasn't doing a good job at it. Suga lay on the floor with a bleeding head, curled in on himself and obviously fought everyone who dared to go near him. The view presented in front of them made Daichi boil with rage and he positioned himself in front of his boyfriend, while Akaashi knelt down beside Suga to examine the damage and to help him through his panic attack.

Seeing the ash-blond like that triggered a sense of protectiveness in Daichi, stronger than ever before. Whoever this woman was, she definitely was the reason for the situation at hand. The brunet glared at her and with the way he crossed his arms, he was determined to keep this lady away from his boyfriend. She got the message and stepped backwards with her hands raised in defence, as if she was proving that she was unarmed and didn't mean any harm.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I swear! I just wanted to talk with him after all these years," she called with slightly teary eyes.

It wasn't nearly enough for Daichi to calm down, thus he growled, "Right now, I don't care about any of that! Just step aside and don't you dare come any closer to him!"

She nodded without a word and took a seat out of Suga's field of vision. With that, he turned around to face his panicked boyfriend and the equally distressed nurse. Akaashi was doing his best, but nothing seemed to work in Suga's current state of mind, which was truly worrying as he was injured as well. Without thinking much about it, the brunet got on his knees as well. More careful than ever, he began rubbing his back in a steady rhythm. At first, Suga dodged his touch, yet he relaxed a little bit as soon as he heard Daichi's gentle voice. If Daichi was completely honest, he didn't know at all what he was even talking about or how he should behave now. Thus, he stuck to reminding him of where he was right now, that he wasn't alone in this and he promised over and over again that he would protect him for the rest of their lives. At some point he even started blubbering about their recent activities, dates and other events that occurred over his day. Once he calmed down noticeably, Suga uncurled from his fetal position and crawled over to his beloved.

His sobs ceased considerably and he even climbed into Daichi's lap. That also enabled Akaashi to take a look at his injuries. Thank heavens, it was only a small cut, so it was treated quickly without any further incident. Doctor Shimada came running due to the ruckus caused in Sugawara's patient's room and detected that Sawamura and Akaashi were able to handle the situation themselves. Nobody had noticed his entrance and since both men were busy handling a terrified Suga, he went up to the woman who caused all of that chaos.

The doctor saw the resemblance between his patient and the middle-aged female and figured that she must be a family member. That did confuse Shimada even more, because he was positively certain that Suga had declared to have no other family except Sawamura Daichi.

Before he could address her, she muttered softly, "I didn't expect him to react that strongly... I'm Sugawara Yuki, his mother if I can even afford myself to call me that. I haven't seen my son for a little more than ten years, after a rather tragic incident. I know, I don't have any right to be here. Not after everything I have done to him. Or haven't done _for_ him. But I just had to see him! I witnessed that assault yesterday and he was so, so brave! I came here, hoping to find him; start anew with him. I know it's partly my fault that he is traumatized to such an extreme..."

Shimada nodded in understanding, but chided her in a stern voice, "I understand your intentions, but decisions like that shouldn't be taken lightly. I don't know his whole story, but from what I can witness right now and after what you just said, I can only assume that his past must be greatly affecting him until this very day. If you really want to grow closer to your son in the future, I'd advise you to write a letter or phone him before you confront him directly."

Sugawara Yuki hung her head in shame and asked for more advice after she explained in short, in what kind of household the boy grew up in. It goes without saying that Shimada was absolutely shocked about this reveal, still it justified why Suga had gone into shock after confronting an abusive parent at his workplace.

In the meantime, Suga had managed to calm down almost completely. His breathing pattern had normalized by now and his heart rate had returned to normal. Currently, he was carelessly cuddling with Daichi, not caring at all that they were surrounded by a bunch of people. Daichi's gentle caressing and the sweet kisses along his neck and cheek did wonders to Suga's mental state! Even if the ash-blond was a little sweaty from the panic attack and extremely exhausted, he didn't mind the closeness at all. He snuggled even more into his broad chest and he brought his arms now around the brunet's waist.

"Thank you, Dai. Sorry that I caused so much trouble... I - I actually don't remember why I panicked so much. I guess I was kinda trapped in my own mind?" the tired ash-blond mumbled into his lover's chest.

A small smile graced Daichi's lips, as he looked down on his awfully cuddly boyfriend. Using the position the two of them were in to his advantage, the brunet stood up and lifted his boyfriend up from the cold hard floor. He was a bit unstable on his feet at first, seeing how he had to climb to his feet with a grown adult in his arms, but he managed it somehow. The ash-blond clung to him like a koala, which proved to be an adorable sight. Even Shimada and Akaashi couldn't hide the little smiles that crept up their faces. After Daichi carried him back to the closest bed, Suga didn't even try to detach himself from his boyfriend.

"Hey Sweetums, I know you love to cuddle, but could you imagine letting go of me anytime soon? I'm sure, Doctor Shimada would like to have a discussion about what happened earlier with you and I don't think it's appropriate to talk like that," Daichi proposed as he smiled down at him.

Suga's lips turned into a little pout and he responded with puppy eyes, "Nooo... I don't want to, Dai-Chan. And I was waiting so long for you to return, too! Don't you want to hold me like this? How long do I have to stay here anyway?"

To prove his point, Suga put his arms around the brunet's neck, not minding the audience for a change. A little mischievous grin spread on the ash-blond's face as he leaned down to connect their lips in a quick but tender kiss. In response to the surprise attack, the brunet blushed furiously and he buried his face in Suga's soft locks. With a muffled voice Daichi scolded him lightly for his cheeky behaviour, but it was obvious that he didn't really took offense in his actions - his eyes radiated affection and warmth and the fact that he didn't even attempt to loosen his embrace was even more evidence that he actually didn't mind the closeness. Suga himself giggled softly at his embarrassment and teased him further with a loving peck on the cheek and another one following on the nose.

Meanwhile, Sugawara Yuki watched the scene unfold with fondness and she started smiling through freshly building tears. Her son was finally, finally happy. He had found the person he wants to spend his life with. _These two must be soulmates… How nice! I'm so glad I got to see him grow into such a handsome, nice man. His partner seems to know a lot about his problems, seeing how he had been able to calm him down like that when even the nurse had failed. Should I leave them alone for now? It might be for the best after all…_

While she was contemplating whether she should give them some alone time, Daichi had managed to detangle himself from his clingy boyfriend. A little check-up from Doctor Shimada was indeed needed, so Daichi and Yuki were asked to leave the room for a moment, so that they could talk in private. That left both of them alone in the hallway, which caused quite the awkward situation. They were tense and the brunet ignored her at first - After all, he was still angry at her for hurting Koushi. However, now that they were among themselves without any distraction, he began to study the women in front of him. Now at a second glance, he noticed immediately that she looked fairly familiar to him. The way she fumbled with her ashen hair to hide her nervousness and the way the corners of her brilliant eyes crinkled a little while her lips formed a very recognizable pout reminded him strongly of Suga. If that wasn't enough to convince him, his beloved Koushi was almost the exact replica of the woman in front of him.

After a moment of hesitation, Daichi approached her quietly, "You were looking for Koushi, huh? Care to explain to me how you were even able to find him? Now of all times? If my assumption is correct, you must be his mother. Am I right?"

Yuki didn't expect to be addressed by him in such a straightforward manner, so she startled a little, before she stuttered a reply, "Uh... How did you... I - I mean, you're not wrong. I'm Sugawara Yuki, sorry for not introducing myself earlier. To tell you the truth, I've been looking for him for a while now. A friend of mine has a daughter, who moved to Tokyo some time ago. She is a mother as well and her child, Hikaru, goes to the kindergarten he is working at. After meeting Koushi, she figured we must be related and contacted me because she knew that I was searching for him. I came to the hospital, because I was there when the assault took place them yesterday. He did such a good job at handling the situation, even if it must have reminded him of his own father..."

Daichi didn't know what he should think of this information. Now, he knew more about her intentions, but he couldn't allow himself to trust a complete stranger when it came to his beloved partner and his health in the end. Especially considering his abusive past! Knowing that this woman never did anything remarkably to protect her own flesh and blood, he was all the more wary of her. The brunet crossed his arms and eyed her expression closely as if he was trying to peer into her soul.

Yuki found it understandable that he didn't trust her at the moment, so she continued her explanation softly, "I can only guess that he opened up to you, but the way he is reacting to everything you do and say proves to me that he puts his faith in you. I promise I don't mean any harm. I know that I never stood up for him when he was younger, regardless of what his father had done. If I'm truly honest with you, I wasn't allowed to contact him for a long time after that last, terrible incident. And after that time was over, he had moved out of town, got rid of any possibility of contact and I never heard anything from him again. I can only understand his reaction, though... There is nothing I can do to change the past and the long lasting effects he has to suffer now, but I wish to make peace with him. If he wants me to vanish out of his life for good, then I have to accept that as well. At least I want to try making amends."

Daichi was slightly perplexed by her story, but found himself feeling a bit sorry for her. He couldn't deny that he knew too little about Koushi's relationship with his mother, so there wasn't much he was able to judge besides the fact that his lover didn't receive any help from her. When he thought about it, Koushi had never told him that _she_ had hurt him at some point.

After a moment of consideration, he acknowledged, "Thank you for telling me this. To be honest, I don't know much about your relation with him, seeing how he never really talks about his past. I know a lot about what had happened regarding his father and how he was removed from your household, but that's about it. I guess I appreciate your efforts in making things right between you two. Now is just not a good time, though. Koushi is still on really bad terms with you, which is why I won't bring this up until he is over the initial shock of yesterday's events and the panic attack earlier. Knowing him, he needs more time to adjust to eventual changes and a direct approach might mess with him and worsen his anxiety. I only want to protect him, I hope you understand. However, I'm willing to give this a chance, as long as it doesn't do more damage than good, so I could give you my number to organize something over the phone. How does that sound to you?"

At his words, Yuki's eyes lit up with excitement and she nodded her head rapidly at his proposal. She was already fond of the young man. It was not hard to miss that he cared immensely about Koushi and she was so glad to know that her son found a partner who took his health before anything else. While they were exchanging phone numbers, she realized she never got his name during their serious conversation. Before she could ask him, the brunet realized that as well. Daichi rubbed his neck in embarrassment and apologized, "Ah, I completely forgot to introduce myself in all of that trouble. I'm Sawamura Daichi, soulmate and boyfriend of Koushi. I hope you don't mind."

She smiled softly in return and shook her head. With a gentle pat on the taller male's head, she stated, "As long as my baby boy is happy, I couldn't care less about who he is dating. I'm convinced you keep him out of trouble and that you help him through all of his struggles, so I'm more than delighted to hear that you two are dating. I haven't seen him in such a long time and only met you, yet I can already tell that you two were truly meant for each other."

Getting praised like that was making him feel timid and he averted his gaze to hide his crimson cheeks. The woman in front of him giggled at his suddenly sheepish behaviour and the way her eyes sparkled in that moment, showed him once again, just how much his lover took after her. A look at her watch made her realize how much time had passed since she stopped by at the hospital. She figured Koushi and the doctor would finish their discussion any time now, which means in return that she should get going as well. Preferably before her son got out of the room to avoid another panic attack.

Before she could take her leave Daichi proposed, "It'll probably take a while, but I could talk to him about giving you a call or something. If he refuses, I promise to contact you anyway. Don't want you to keep your hopes up, if it's pointless in the end."

Yuki nodded her agreement and thanked him for his kind support, even if they were strangers at the moment. A handshake sealed that small promise and with that she left the hallway. She got out of the corridor just in time before the door to Suga's room opened again. Doctor Shimada was the first to step out and gave Daichi finally the permission to get back home with his soulmate. He was only advised to pay a little more attention to him for the time being, in case something set him off once more. Seconds later Akaashi, accompanied by Suga, ventured from the room only for the ash-blond to bury himself in Daichi's chest once more.

"Let's get you home, Sweetums. How does a nice, calm day with a movie marathon sound?" the brunet inquired as his hands wandered around his middle to rub his lover's back. Instead of giving him a proper reply, he simply nodded his head and uttered something unintelligible in his pullover, which sounded roughly like consent. Seeing how tired the poor ash-blond actually was, Daichi picked him up bridal style and carried him out of the hospital, while Suga held onto the duffle bag. His embarrassed wailing was heard from time to time, but the brunet never thought once about setting him down all the way to his car. Some of the nurses and patients who had witnessed the little exchange smiled and giggled at the whole situation. After all, it was adorable to see the ashen-haired male all flushed up in his soulmate's arms. Akaashi found it to be a sight to remember – it did turn out to be cute blackmail-material he figured with a smirk on his face as he watched them go.  
 _That might come in hand at some point in the future, if he were to tease me again._  
The raven-haired was surely glad that those two were a thing, because he trusted Daichi to take good care of him in the future as well. At least he was in good hands now.


	28. Chapter 28: Home sweet home

_Things are getting steamy. You have been warned._

 **Chapter 28: Home sweet home**

"Sleepyhead, we're home. Let's get you out of the car and onto the couch, yeah?" Daichi cooed softly as he stopped his car.

Suga had managed to slip into the realm of dreams soon after the engine had started purring. The sound had been comforting enough to lull him to sleep, which wasn't really surprising, since he was one to fall asleep almost anywhere if he was tired enough. The ash-blond screwed up his nose when Daichi poked his cheek repeatedly to get his attention and gave out an annoyed grunt to show his disapproval for being woken up. Suga glanced up at him through half closed eyes and yawned a little, before he unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. He shuffled alongside Daichi to the front door and whined softly as the brunet fumbled a bit longer than necessary with his keys, just to mess a little with his boyfriend. As soon as the door opened, they stumbled inside and Suga made a beeline forthe bathroom. Despite being weary to the bone, he left Daichi in the dust as he ran off, since he _absolutely_ had to take a hot bubble bath now. Just to soothe his tired limbs. He even went all the way and got himself a bottle of the champagne, something the couple had stored for special occasions. After all the trouble he had to go through in just two days, he just felt like spoiling himself a little. While the ash-blond ran through the apartment to collect some things for his bath, Daichi put the worn clothes from the hospital visit in the washing machine and put the other things in their dedicated places. Daichi's actions were only interrupted when a pair of pale arms wound their way around his middle from behind. Before he could question his boyfriend, those hands began fumbling with the buttons of his shirt to expose his toned chest.

Heat rose up his cheeks as Suga let his fingers wander down to the waistband of his pants and he moaned seductively, "Take a bath with me, Dai-Chan. I really want to feel you right now!"

Without waiting for a reply, the ash-blond pulled him towards the bathroom. Immediately after the door clicked shut, Suga turned around to face his lover. Despite his own tempting proposal, he had now rosy cheeks and avoided Daichi's eyes at all costs. All of his former confidence seemed to have disappeared and it was obvious that he was contemplating _something_ with the way he fiddled with the hem of his - or rather Daichi's sweater. Daichi wasn't sure what exactly Suga's intention was, but seeing the little arrangement with champagne for two, the closed curtains and even some burning incense candles was definitely sweet. Their orange curtains didn't block out the entire sunlight – it dimmed the room in an almost romantic way. A moment of silence later, the ash-blond made up his mind, giving a single nod, although he was rather convincing himself than Daichi in whatever was going through his mind.

The brunet cocked his head in confusion, seeing how Suga still didn't say a word to explain himself and he watched him stepping a little closer in silence. With steady movements, the shy male moved his hands to remove Daichi's shirt. Once Daichi was a little less clothed, Suga glanced up at his curious boyfriend with his hazel eyes. They were shimmering brightly with warmth and undeniable love and the brunet found himself spellbound by the sight. The ash-blond was surrounded by the warm morning sunlight, and for a moment it looked like his entire being was glowing warmly. A soft smile tucked at his lips as he wrapped his hands softly around the brunet's calloused ones. Neither of them said a word, they just looked into each other's eyes and stepped a little closer to each other. Suga brought those hands up to his own face and placed soft kisses on them before he placed them against his chest. Right where his heart was – over his soul mark. The rapid heartbeat that Daichi noticed under his hands showed him how excited his lover was despite his timid approach, which elicited a goofy grin from him. _He really is adorable..._

The playfulness in Suga's gesture animated Daichi to lean down a little to pepper his lover's face with countless kisses. Yet, he avoided his lips on purpose the whole time. Much to the displeasure of a certain ash-blond. A little whine escaped Suga after some time signalling his growing impatience.

"Would you finally kiss me for real, Dai?! I know you're doing this to tease me!" he grumbled, screwing up his face in annoyance.

To clarify his point, he averted his gaze with a huff and an evident pout on his lips. Which was a truly adorable thing in Daichi's opinion. Smirking at his cute boyfriend, the brunet removed one of his hands from Suga's grasp and used it to pull him closer by the waist. The abrupt movement messed with his balance, causing Suga to stumble right into Daichi's chest. Out of reflex, the ash-blond reached out and wrapped his arms around his lover's neck to prevent his own downfall. Daichi, however, took advantage of that as he dipped his partner as if they were dancing and connected their lips. For a second, Suga's eyes widened in surprise, albeit he recovered quickly and responded to the kiss. Their lips moved smoothly against each other, tasting the other without restraint. Suga let his fingers roam through the brunet's hair, while Daichi held him securely in his arms. Soon enough, Daichi slipped his tongue in Suga's mouth when he let out a wistful sigh.

Their intense lip-lock occupied the couple for a few minutes. Along the way, both of them lost more articles of clothing, until there was nothing left. Neither of them had acted purely on sexual attraction, which led them together into their now filled up tub. Suga sat in front of his well build boyfriend and leaned against his broad chest, getting completely wrapped up in his embrace. Both of them were content with snuggling while being surrounded by loads of foam and hot water, casually sipping on glasses of champagne from time to time. Together with the lit incense and some champagne, it enabled them to finally relax after so many stressing events. Surely, a discussion about it was needed, but that could way for a little more, they decided silently.

While those two enjoyed the warmth as well as the proximity, Daichi found himself pressing gentle pecks along his neck. His beloved leaned more into the touch and sighed contently at the feeling of these kisses. How long has it been that he had been able to relax like that? Especially with Daichi? The past weeks had been so hectic that the couple hadn't seen each other very often. At least not in an awaken state. Therefore, spending time like that was a welcome blessing.

"Hey Sweetums? Wanna take a nap after this? You must be exhausted after everything that had happened to you," Daichi inquired as he was massaging the remaining tension out of Suga's shoulders.

Little moans escaped his lips due to the relief it caused, and he muttered breathily, "I'd rather watch some movies with you on the sofa with you. With snacks, hot drinks, cuddles… Don't wanna waste precious time to spend together with you by sleeping."

"Sure thing. Anything you want, Sweetheart," the brunet agreed with a smile in his voice.

Koushi turned around to slap his boyfriend's chest lightly and complained, "You're such a sap, Dai! Stop with these embarrassing nicknames, please! Let me be romantic without you commenting on it!"

The brunet grinned at his reaction and let his hands slide down from his shoulders all the way to his hips. Even such natural and unobtrusive touches sent a shiver down Suga's spine, considering that the whole sensation felt rather intimate and stimulating since they were in the water. The ash-blond squirmed a little under Daichi's teasing fingers – it tickled his sensual skin more than usual – and got a little distracted by it. Distracted enough to miss the approach of his boyfriend. Only when he felt a pair of lips on top of his own, he snapped out of his little daze to return the short, but emotion filled kiss. More followed along his jawline and his cheeks up to his forehead. When Daichi rubbed their noses together, it was a gesture so tender that it left Sugawara all flushed. For what felt like an eternity the two just stared dreamily into each other's eyes with their foreheads resting against the other's. A magical and romantic moment for sure.

However, Daichi's lips twisted into a mischievous smirk after some time, leaving Suga a little confused. Before he could question the sudden change, however, the sweet atmosphere was destroyed by a single move from Daichi. Without a warning – or a reason for that matter – the brunet squeezed Suga's ass! A truly unholy screech escaped the ash-blond at such an idiotic, bold move from his boyfriend, who in turn was laughing his ass off. Probably due to the immense embarrassment he had caused Suga and the whole hilariousness the situation provided.

With a crimson coloured face, Sugawara scooted away from him, back to the opposite site of the tub, sliding down until he was only visible from his nose upwards. Daichi was still shaking with laughter and it didn't decrease when Suga started kicking him softly. He was very obviously pouting. The ash-blond stayed in that position for the rest of their bath, much to his lover's amusement.

Later that day around lunch time, the two of them wrapped themselves up in a bunch of blankets on their living room sofa. Delicious smelling food – super spicy Mapo tofu much to Sugawara's pleasure – was placed on the table in front of them and some more champagne had been poured as well. It was Daichi's treat, in a way as a little reward for overcoming such unnerving events. Therefore, cooking Suga's favourite was the least he could do for his brave boyfriend. Just the thought of seeing the satisfied look on his face had been enough to convince Daichi to get in the kitchen.

Just looking at the food was enough to get Suga's stomach growling again and his mouth was watering from the smell wafting from his favourite dish. He dug in as soon as his lover sat down beside him, but not without thanking him for the meal. Daichi's cooking skills weren't that impressive, yet he had mastered at least a few dishes to get by. His lover's favourite was certainly one of them and he was damn good at it. Taking his first bite was a blessing for Sugawara's taste buds and he moaned in delight.

While they enjoyed their lunch, the couple had turned on the TV to get on with the planned movie marathon. Since both of them needed something to take their minds off the stress, they settled for a bunch of trash movies of all kinds. It entertained them for a while, until the couple got distracted with themselves. At some point these movies had gotten quite dirty, leading to the situation at hand. Suga was straddling his lover, their shirts long forgotten on the floor. The ash-blond took initiation this time as he pressed Daichi into the cushions and connected their lips in a hungry kiss. Daichi tangled his hands in Koushi's ash-blond locks and pulled him even closer to his body, yearning for his touch.

The situation went out of hand quicker than one could have imagined as their lips moved greedily against each other. Koushi's hands roamed around his lover's toned chest in the meanwhile. Once his fingers reached the waistband of his sweatpants, said brunet turned a little restless. The ash-blond could feel his arousal from where he sat and smirked a little at the hot moaning coming from Daichi as he began stroking his member through the cloth. He also used this opportunity to slip his tongue in Daichi's mouth, deepening the kiss further.  
Their tongues moved in sync together and the kiss got quite sloppy in response to Koushi's seductive caresses. This bold side of Koushi was one that the ash-blond seldom showed and it turned his lover on more than he was willing to admit. In spite of his innocent, beautiful appearance and his motherly character, Sugawara Koushi was a truly thirsty guy.

They got lost in their longing for the other as they fooled around on the sofa, not minding at all that it was still light out. Feeling a little braver than usual, Koushi even went down on Daichi, pleasing him in a way that was an entirely new sensation for him. The sight of the ash-blond all the way down there was driving Daichi crazy – it was incredibly sexy how he glanced up at his lover to check his reaction through fluttering lashes.  
As Daichi was getting closer and closer with each teasing flick of his tongue and such lewd slurping noises, he grabbed onto Koushi's hair, leading him even if it was only a little. The brunet probably just wanted to feel at least to be somewhat in control. In the end, it didn't take much more for him to come, since Koushi turned out to be pretty skilled with his tongue and hands.  
Unbeknownst to Daichi, Suga was just as horny simply from blowing him and hearing all of his moaning. Thus, he didn't even think of stopping at this point.

To get this point across, he climbed back onto his lap and moaned into his lover's ear, "I'm so damn hot! God, let me fuck you, Dai!"

With a determined grip on Daichi's shoulders, he leaned in for another wild kiss, while he kept stroking his boyfriend's once more hardening member.  
Daichi was definitely up for another round, so he pulled his lover closer and entered him rather roughly not long after. The ash-blond clung to his neck, leaving scratch marks all over his back as he surrendered himself to his enormous desire.

They stopped making out at some point, seeing how Sugawara focussed more on reaching the hottest way to connect their bodies. Each movement of his hips elicited another moan, which grew considerably louder over time.

"You… ah! You feel so good, Dai! Fuck, you're so hard, I can feel you throbbing inside of me with each thrust!" Suga gasped in pleasure, while he moved just a bit faster on top of him.

At this point, Daichi wasn't able to respond properly anymore. All he could see, hear and feel right now was his extremely horny and ecstatic boyfriend, along with the passion they shared. Although he was certain, that Suga was even more satisfied than him.

The brunet let him have his way and showered him with kisses throughout everything, while his hands caressed his slender body. In the end, they indulged in that addicting feeling for quite a while with a very adventurous Suga. After both of them reached their climax numerous times, they collapsed on top of each other, using the sofa for today's bed. Daichi was panting, as he pulled the covers over his and Suga's body, who now snuggled closely into his side, acting all cute as if he hadn't seduced his boyfriend for who knows long earlier. Never would Daichi have guessed that his sex life could ever get that exciting, especially with how reserved and angel-like his boyfriend usually behaved. It hardly needs mentioning that the lovebirds didn't get anything else done for the rest of the day and any other plan was pushed aside for a later date.

 _The next update might take some more time because I'm visiting a convention next week. I'm gonna cosplay as Hinata and on of my best friends is going to be Kageyama :D_


	29. Chapter 29: A friend to overcome fear

**Chapter 29: A friend to overcome your fears**

"Iwa-Chaaan! Can we visit Kou-Chan today? He hasn't contacted me at all yesterday and I'm really worried! You, too, promised me that Sawamura would invite us over once Kou's good to go and he hasn't contacted you either. What if something has happened?!" a _very_ agitated Oikawa yelled two days after his own discharge, not even bothering to think about how early in the day it still was. The disastrous incident was still fresh in his mind, as well as the poor sight his dear friend had provided, so he just _had_ to check on Sugawara.

Iwaizumi, however, was especially grumpy this morning after such a rude awakening, seeing how he had a rather tiring night with Tooru and didn't catch much sleep because of that. Said brunet was still busy shaking his shoulders slightly violently, disrupting his fiancé's slumber, wanting to finally grasp his attention. Over all those years they had spent together, Oikawa had gotten slowly better at getting his morning grouch out of bed. Although, getting him _into_ bed was usually a much easier task.

Once Iwaizumi finally had enough of his exceedingly annoying lover, he pushed him away with more force than necessary and growled with anger noticeable in his voice, "Have you any idea how fucking early it is?! I am god damn tired due to a certain somebody's needs and I would really appreciate it if you could shut the hell up at least once in your life! Just leave me alone already!"

A part of Iwaizumi knew that his lover didn't have ill intentions and that his pregnancy was at fault and was messing with his hormones. Sometimes, though, it made his beautiful lover even more annoying – like right now. Not to mention that Iwaizumi was everything but not a morning person.  
Surprisingly enough, Oikawa really did shut up, enabling the black-haired male to fall back to sleep. Yet, it also caused him to miss the wobbling pout and the tears building in his eyes as the brunet lay back down, turning his back to Iwa-Chan.

Oikawa on the other hand, stayed awake for god knows how long, loathing himself for being so stupidly emotional over absolutely nothing. Yet, he couldn't deny that he was really hurt by Iwaizumi's words and actions. _Why does it feel like I have been rejected? Doesn't he love me anymore? What the heck is wrong with me?!_

In the end he let him sleep and crept out of bed, careful not to make a sound so that he couldn't accidentally _annoy_ his lover any further. Down in the kitchen, he realized that there was absolutely nothing he wanted to eat or could stomach right now, which worsened his mood even more. Thus, he checked the clock – it was 8:30 now, apparently, he had been self-loathing for two and a half hours – and got dressed to get himself whatever treat he'd like. Unfortunately, even his favourite galaxy themed sweater seemed to scratch him everywhere, made him look fat and ugly and he got just generally uncomfortable in his skin. At least that's what this annoying little voice whispered in his ear. After checking that he had everything he might need - meaning his phone, purse, and an umbrella - he wrapped himself in a cosy coat and started his little quest to obtain food. Once he stepped outside on the slippery roads, he noticed that the weather was matching his depressed state as well: it was harshly snowing and a storm was brewing, not too far away. Oikawa took a deep breath and pulled his scarf closer, since staying at home was not an option at the moment. He only needed to reach a café and contact Koushi there. He could do it!

He totally couldn't do it. Not even half an hour later, he discovered that his usual café was closed for the day and then he had gotten himself lost, while trying to remember the way to Koushi's house. Why wouldn't this idiot pick up the phone?! The weather had taken a turn for the worse by now, his usually fluffy fringe hung limply in his face and he was pretty much soaked to the bone due to the now intense snowstorm. As if all of that wasn't enough already, he was ready to break down right where he stood when his umbrella broke due to the wind and got carried away by the storm.

After running around for about another hour in the cold, he somehow ended up in a suburban area a little away from the busy streets of Tokyo. How he managed to get there in the first place was a mystery, but it was nothing he could be bothered about right now. What he also didn't expect was a familiar, cheery voice calling out to him.

"Oikawa-San, is that you? Oh goodness, what are you doing out here?! Are you alright?"

Before he could realize what was going on, somebody forced a bright, orange umbrella into his hands and a woollen hat was put on his wet hair. As he looked towards the source of the voice, he recognized his younger colleague and friend, Hinata Shouyou. And he wasn't alone either - Kageyama Tobio, his best friend and boyfriend was by his side. Both men wore worried expressions and were ready to spring to action for whatever may occur.

 _Now I am even worrying Tobio-Chan out of all people in the world! He is the last person that I want to be seen by like this!  
_ Oikawa's own pride didn't allow him to show any weakness in front of his old rival, even if he felt like crying, so he waved it off and tried to play it cool, "Oh, why hello, Shou-Chan! I could ask you the same, you know? I just decided to check on Suga-Chan today. Of course, I'm perfectly fine, why wouldn't I be?"

Apparently, he was anything but convincing with his reply because Hinata stepped closer to his friend and boss and took his shaking hands softly in his own. For a moment, the brunet was stunned at this unexpected gesture and didn't know how to react. Only when the ginger smiled warmly at him with shining eyes and pulled him into his chest, Oikawa felt his mask slipping away.

"It's okay to be not fine. I can see that something is wrong and it's totally fine to ask for help. There must be a reason why you are out here, all alone, so let's get you to Suga-San. Alright?" Hinata reassured him as he rubbed the taller male's back to comfort him some more.

These gentle words were all that was needed for Oikawa to break out in tears. When was the last time that someone had shown that much concern for him out in the open? Sure, Iwaizumi worried a lot about his lover, but he wasn't that great at expressing his emotions. His confused hormones caused more misunderstandings than he liked himself, he just couldn't help it sometimes.

Without giving a damn about how pitiful he must be looking; the brunet wrapped his arms around the tiny ginger and sobbed freely into his embrace. Even Kageyama attempted to comfort the distressed man, although he had no idea of how to accomplish that, so he just pat his back rather awkwardly. But even that helped him through this emotional outburst.  
Once he was calm enough, considering the circumstances, he was in, they put some distance between themselves and the brunet rubbed his neck sheepishly. He was obviously embarrassed about his breakdown.

Hinata said nothing in return, simply gave a nod and ushered the young man to get in his car. The raven-haired kept his silence, since even though he wasn't particularly fond of Oikawa, his long-time rival, he had enough common sense to be respectful whenever it was appropriate. Oikawa was lucky that these two had seen him wandering around when they were on their way home from grocery shopping, otherwise he would have been out there for far too long, all alone and emotionally exhausted. He understood that as well, which he showed with a mumbled "Thank you."  
Oikawa was a little overwhelmed by the immense care the ginger showed for him through little actions just as turning up the heat in the car, repeated questions about his wellbeing and involving him in whatever conversation he had with Tobio. The drive didn't take long, meaning that the brunet had at least reached the right district.

Once they stopped the car, Hinata stated, "I'm going to escort you to the door, alright? Would you mind waiting, Tobio?"

Kageyama looked towards his boyfriend and gave his consent with a simple nod, which earned him a peck to the lips. Even from the backseat, Oikawa could see his burning ears and the raven-haired's usual scowl was replaced with a shy and happy smile.  
 _So even that guy is capable of smiling, huh? Sunshine-Chan definitely can do that to people. Being around him is somehow soothing me as well… I'm glad we grew closer._

"Thanks, honey. Love you!" Hinata sang with his brilliant, toothy smile, causing Kageyama to blush even more.

This time, even Oikawa couldn't help but smile, although he could say that he was the slightest bit jealous. Why couldn't Iwa-Chan display his affection like that? Apparently, even Kageyama had gotten over calling Hinata names – he didn't even hide how fond he was of the ginger! Though, he probably was just unable to keep his feelings hidden with how intense they were. These observations filled the brunet with joy and he found himself thinking of Iwaizumi. Did he love him just as much? More importantly, did he really want to raise a family with him? As doubts started to rise in his mind, he felt tears prickling in his eyes and he had to try hard to remain calm. Now he wasn't only hungry, but also cold, drenched and depressed.

Once he stepped out of the car into the still raging storm, Hinata was by his side and put his arm softly around the taller male's middle, leading him up to Sawamura-San's house. Fortunately, it was around 10 a.m. by now, so it was pretty much possible that Daichi and Suga were already up. It took a moment until the door was opened, but soon enough Sugawara greeted the unexpected guests with a slightly dishevelled appearance. The ash-blond rubbed his eyes and suppressed a yawn before he took in the sight in front of him.

Right before his eyes was his old friend and employer, Oikawa Tooru, and he was an absolute mess. Soaked to the bone, shaking like a leaf and his eyes were bloodshot, a proof that he had been crying not too long ago. That was enough to shake him out of his sleepy daze and it alarmed him greatly.

"Oh god, what happened?! Come in quickly! Are you hurt?" Suga shrieked as he pulled his two friends inside and out of the cold. Without waiting for a reply of any sorts, he ripped Oikawa's soaked coat off and pushed him further into the house.  
Before he could do the same to Hinata, said ginger raised his hands in defence and exclaimed, "I'm fine, Suga! I found him on the way home and he wanted to see you, so we brought him here with the car. Tobio is waiting for me and I don't want to intrude. It seems like it's something really personal too, so it might be better when I'm not around. Please, take care of him, something must be seriously wrong from what I can tell."

With that, Sugawara stepped back to give his younger friend some space, but walked him back to the front door anyway – a courtesy he wouldn't let anyone take from him. Or rather, he limped towards the doorway, which elicited a giggle from Hinata. Oikawa was still too occupied with his own struggles to pay attention to such details.

As Hinata hugged him to bid farewell, he whispered into Suga's ear, "I'm glad that you were decent when we got here," which caused Suga to turn bright red at this suggestive, yet true statement.  
The ash-blond slapped his shoulder in return and complained softly, "Oh, shush you. But thank you for getting him out of this storm **.** He seems to be really out of it today. Have a safe trip home and greet Kageyama-Kun for me, will you?"

Hinata nodded and yelled his goodbye to the others in the back before he left Sugawara to his devices. With Hinata gone, Suga turned his whole attention to his seemingly forlorn friend who kept dripping on the floor. Daichi had appeared in the doorway by now and watched him with worry and confusion visible on his face.

As the ash-blond touched Oikawa softly by the arms, he noticed just how cold he was and chided him gently, "How about you take a bath, Tooru? It'll help you warm up. I'll even join you if you want me to. Would you like that?"

The brunet's only reply was a light nod and he clung tightly to Suga's arm all the way to the bathroom. Daichi could sense that whatever situation they had gotten themselves into, was to be solved between these two, so he decided to stay out of it and retreated to the kitchen to prepare some hot chocolate for them.  
Back in the bathroom, Oikawa stripped out of his wet clothes, while Sugawara prepared a warm bath for him. The ash-blonde even helped him in the tub!  
As soon as he was seated, Suga got up and explained, "I'll get you a change of clothes, alright? I won't take long, I promise."

He knew he was treating him like a child, which wasn't something the brunet appreciated at all under normal circumstances. However, seeing how lost, he was today, a little more sensitivity on Suga's part was required. Oikawa rarely showed any kind of weakness, so that he wouldn't worry others, meaning that something must be terribly wrong when he showed his emotions to such an extent.

These thoughts caused Suga to hurry even more in his search for some clothes, preferably his own stuff. As soon as he got everything ready, he took a chair and sat down next to the bathing friend. Since he didn't know what was wrong yet, Sugawara started talking about random things like the shitty weather and stories from work – always keeping the topic in general light and always including the brunet in their conversation. It took some time, but Oikawa got comfortable and more talkative due to the ash-blond's caring attitude. After Oikawa had warmed up, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and a comfy, beige sweater from Sugawara and sat down next to him on the sofa in the living room.

In the end, the brunet was bundled up in a warm blanket, with a hot chocolate resting on the table, while he nibbled on his favourite milk bread. Sugawara didn't push him into talking, he simply nestled up beside him and rubbed his baby bump. Which was a nice thing for both of them, since it soothed Oikawa and Suga simply enjoyed the gesture. Daichi left them alone – not wanting to intrude in whatever problem Oikawa was facing currently – and retreated to his bedroom for the time being.

"So, what happened, Tooru? Did something happen between you and Iwaizumi-Kun?" the ash-blond inquired after a while.

A moment of silence later, his friend explained, "I don't know, Kou-Chan… I think I'm weighing him down too much lately. He has been more irritated recently and it might all be my fault. And then this stupid incident at work happened, you had been in danger and had me worried sick!"

Suddenly, the floor seemed to be so much more interesting to him as Oikawa didn't want to look Suga in the face. Lost in his thoughts, his hands wandered down to his stomach.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so… I don't know, emotional and greedy lately and now Hajime is getting sick and tired of me! Everything is just too much and I'm getting upset over the stupidest trifles! Maybe I'm just not good enough for Hajime and not suitable to carry our babies!" the brunet added while he caressed his baby bump.

Although Sugawara couldn't completely see things from Oikawa's perspective, he was familiar with the feeling of burdening others. And it was because of Daichi's support that he realized that it wasn't the case in the slightest. He also disagreed greatly with the doubts that filled the brunet's mind.  
Being the sweet angel he was, he wrapped his arms softly around Oikawa's middle and stated, "Stop being so negative, Too-Chan. I am certain that Iwaizumi-Kun isn't mad at you – he loves you more than you think, after all he proposed to you. And you aren't burdening anyone. You are pregnant, so it's completely normal to have mood swings, cravings and stuff like that. The most important thing is that you two _talk_ with each other about those insecurities and fears of you. I bet that would also help your relationship. Just remember that you _are_ important and many people care about you, so it's totally not okay to walk around in such a storm when you are expecting. Promise me that you'll never be so careless again, no matter how worried you get."

Hearing that helped Oikawa coming down to earth again, proved by a mumbled "Thank you," followed by the return of Suga's gentle embrace. The peaceful atmosphere was soon interrupted by the ringing of Daichi's telephone. It was Daichi himself, who used this opportunity to get away from his computer to answer the call, just to give his boyfriend more space. The name of Iwaizumi was displayed, which wasn't truly surprising, considering that Oikawa was currently staying over. However, what he definitely didn't expect was the terrified yelling of his dear friend instead of his usual calm demeanour.

"Thank god, you answered! Have you any idea where Tooru is?! He is nowhere in the house and none of our friends know about his whereabouts! Please, please tell me he is with you guys!"

Daichi had to move the receiver away from his ear due to the loud voice of Iwaizumi. It was obvious that he was panicking and it convinced the brunet that Oikawa must have left on a whim without notifying anyone. As soon as Iwaizumi finished yelling, Daichi explained in the hope it would calm him a little, "Good morning, Hajime. Yes, he is with us and Koushi as taking care of him right now. If I'm being honest here, he was a mess when he got here. Hinata brought him over. Did you guys fight or anything?"

Iwaizumi stayed silent for a moment, contemplating his answer before he confessed quietly, "I… I guess you could say so? I was acting like a dick due to the exhaustion coming from these stressful last two weeks and I fear that I have caused one of his mood swings if he ran away without telling me… How is he doing now?"

Daichi sighed upon hearing that and poked his head in the living room to check on his boyfriend and their unexpected guest. The sight of these two, hugging each other, tore at Daichi's heartstrings because it was plain adorable. The ash-blond noticed him standing there at the door and gave a silent nod as if to say that things were alright for now. He couldn't know for sure that the caller was Iwaizumi, yet a single look at his lover's face was enough to convince him.  
While stroking Tooru's hair, he asked softly, "How about we invite Iwaizumi, huh? Did you tell him you were going out?"

The silence he received was enough to answer that question, causing Suga to sigh a little. Why did it feel like he was taking care of a child? Thus, he indicated with a wave for Daichi to come closer. Not only to explain the situation, but also to give him a piece of his mind for being such an inconsiderate prick towards his best friend.

As soon as he was on the phone, he fired away without hesitation, "Hello Iwaizumi. Before you say anything at all, Tooru is alright for the time being - I am taking care of him. I suggest you come over when the storm ceases. No, I order you to get your ass over! How dare you vent your frustration on your _pregnant_ partner! You even drew him out of the house in a raging snowstorm! What the fuck is wrong with you! And don't even start on how hard the last weeks had been due to the weather and increased workloads, because Daichi and I were in similar situations, yet we got through that by simply talking to each other."

Sugawara was pretty mad at Tooru's fiancé since he was the reason that got the brunet into his previous mishap and he was sure to let the culprit know that. Daichi, who sat down on the recently purchased loveseat across from the larger sofa, was smiling in amusement as he watched his lover talking himself into a rage. Since Suga was known to be a sweet and kind soul, it was a rare sight to ever hear him swear. The only times when the ash-blond had no brain-to-mouth filter were when he was bursting with emotions. Or when he was in desperate need of Daichi.

Even Oikawa was touched by the intensity of the scolding his angelic friend gave in his favour and since they were still huddled together under the blanket, he could listen to his fiancé talking on the other end of the line. It was rather one-sided conversation, seeing how Sugawara was ranting for most of the time, yet it showed how much he cared for Oikawa, one of his best friends. Thus, the ash-blond managed to make Iwaizumi feel guiltier than he already was until he promised to get to them as soon as possible. After the call was ended, once again by Suga, Oikawa felt completely reassured and relaxed to the point where he simply fell asleep, cuddled against the ash-blond. Said male didn't mind it at all, seeing how it reminded him of their college time when it was Sugawara, who climbed into bed with the brunet whenever his anxiety got the best of him.  
It made him happy, knowing that Tooru trusted him to the extent that he even went out in a storm just to seek him out. The circumstances didn't please him at all, figuring how much could have happened to him, but that's something that can't be changed anymore. They were _safe._

He knew that everything would work out for each of them from now on - they had each other, their beloved soulmates and families that they could count on anytime.  
 _A family, huh..._


	30. Chapter 30: The wonders of pregnancy

**Chapter 30: The wonders of pregnancy**

About a month had passed since Oikawa's major breakdown at the Sawamura household. Things had gotten noticeably better between Iwaizumi and Oikawa, whereas the latter started hanging out more around Suga as well. Solving the problems, they used to have due to the lack of communication didn't take much effort in the end, especially since the ash-blond had been there to intervene whenever they got off track or tried to skirt around some issues.

Due to the events back then the two teachers had grown closer than ever and it had also strengthened the bond between Oikawa and Iwaizumi. The unusually strict front Suga had pulled up, might have been one of the factors that had prevented everyone from fleeing the scene. Even Daichi had been intimidated once he fell under his lover's scowl when he had attempted to ease the tension with a remark of his own.

Now that the situation was finally resolved, Suga and Tooru once again relaxed together. Even if the latter one's intentions were more serious than simply hanging out. But that could wait a while longer. Both men had the day off, since the kindergarten wasn't as busy as before seeing how the weather had finally cleared up. Therefore, the two of them used the opportunity to do some shopping for baby wear, toys and other things they could already buy beforehand. They even checked out furniture for the nursery, which left the brunet in absolute rapture. Just the thought of furnishing a room for his babies excited him, although that would probably be a task for Iwaizumi on another day.

Even Suga had been dragged into his excitement by now as he was looking through truly adorable onesies with cat ears, flowery designs and ones covered in tiny cute bunnies.  
Tooru watched him getting all enthusiastic with a fond smile on his face and teased him, while wiggling his eyebrows, "Hey, did you forget that we are shopping for _my_ babies? You're even more hyped than I am! Or is there something you aren't telling me, Kou-Chan?"

Suga simply raised one of his own brows in confusion at the question, as the brunet closed in on him little by little. Once he was close enough, he draped himself dramatically around Suga's shoulder and sang softly into his ear, "Oh well, maybe you'd like to have a family of your own with Sawa-Chan? Or do you already have a bun in the oven, hmm? Don't lie to me, Kou-Chan!"

Now it finally dawned on him just what his friend was hinting at! In the blink of an eye the ash-blond turned crimson and averted his gaze. A reaction like that was like an affirmation for Oikawa, which caused him to smirk at his suddenly timid friend. He didn't say anything else, but that didn't stop Suga from growing any less embarrassed at such a suggestion. Since the ash-blond didn't really know what to say, he tried to shove the other male off him and turned his attention back to the display of clothes in front of them. They were really cute after all… What bothered him the most was the simple fact that this nosy idiot was absolutely right with his assumption. Not that Suga would ever confess that to him. But seeing Oikawa seemingly glowing due to his pregnancy and watching that baby bump grow from the beginning woke this secret wish of creating his own family with the love of his life. That too, was one of the reasons why he was so eager to help his dearest friend.

 _So, what if I already dream about starting a family with Daichi? That's what happens when raising children is the job of your dreams and you get to watch your best friend going through a pregnancy on their own!_

At least that's what Suga thought. Until recently, he had never even dared to imagine being a parent himself, but somehow that didn't seem to be as impossible as before, now that he and Daichi were closer than ever. However, the two of them were in a relationship of only around six months, so taking a step as huge as this was way too early to even consider. And yet, standing here in a store for anything baby related, he couldn't help it, but imagine how nice it would be if another life was growing inside of him.

Since the ash-blond didn't want to force something like that or pressure his lover with such thoughts for now, he kept his growing desire hidden. It simply wasn't right to voice these things just yet, especially because he didn't want it to look like he was trying to replace the family he had lost. Even if Daichi would never assume anything like that. Fortunately, said male never realized the way his boyfriend was looking at other families – at work or on the streets – was one of love.  
Of course, someone as perceptive as Tooru noticed these things. After all, he used to be the setter who ruled the court with his ability to read other people. Lucky him.

"You know it's not a crime to want to start a family of your own, right? So, stop making such a troubled expression! Just remind me: who exactly had been boasting around how awesome you two are for talking about _everything_ a month ago?" Tooru chided him, still sticking close to his friend. "You worry too much. How about we head back home to my place? Just hanging out a bit more. We haven't done that for far too long anyway and there is stuff we have to talk about!"

Without waiting for a reply of the ash-blond, Tooru grabbed his basket full of baby wear and went off to make his purchases. This unusually serious statement left the ash-blond dumbfounded and he needed a second to collect himself before he toddled after the brunet.  
The latter male didn't let him have a say in that matter, which is how the two of them got to the Oikawa-Iwaizumi household. As soon as they stepped through the door, Suga was shoved towards one of the rooms next to the bedroom.

"Right now, this one's just used a guest room, but we want to make it into the nursery! Kasumi promised me to gift us some of Takeru's old furniture, so we don't have to buy too much ourselves! You see, I have already planned out the entire arrangement of their room!" The excitement was clearly noticeable in his voice as Tooru began to blabber about _everything_ he had in mind for the nursery with scary accuracy. It left Suga quite speechless. Yet he couldn't hide the soft smile that crept up his face upon witnessing his friend's upbeat excitement at these rather personal thoughts. Everything was fine until the brunet suddenly stopped his speech midsentence. Alarmed at this sudden silence, Suga went up to him immediately, forced the other to sit down and couldn't help but fuss about him. Was something wrong with him? Or worse, his unborn children?

Instead of explaining whatever was going on, Tooru grabbed onto Suga's hands and moved them down to his stomach. It goes without saying that this startled the ash-blond even more, but before he could ask once again, he, too, felt that tiny, barely noticeable flutter under his palms. For a moment, both men held their breath. That just now... That was movement, right?

"Oh my god! I... My sweetie just kicked me for the first time! You felt it too, right?!" Tooru gasped in amazement as he felt another, slightly different kick as if in response to his outburst. Definitely the other twin, that he was certain about. Even Sugawara could tell the difference between each flutter and he watched on with pure fascination.

"I guess they are saying hello to their mama. This is amazing! I'm so happy for you, Too-Chan! I can't believe that I am the first one to experience that with you!"

Tooru was completely overwhelmed by this unexpected turn of events and felt his eyes well up with tears, which moved Suga to wrap him in an embrace. The taller male was so happy at his discovery that he simply couldn't keep his emotions at bay. For a little longer, those two sat together in silence to wrap their minds around the experience of a baby's first noticeable movement. It was too bad that Iwaizumi wasn't there at such an important moment - so Sugawara felt even more blessed that he could be here right now instead. For a short while, all seriousness was forgotten and the matter Tooru wished to address was pushed in the back for the time being.


	31. Chapter 31: Serious Talks

_Sry about the late updates, but I've been terribly busy with work (and I was so god damn tired all the time afterwards), my exams are coming up!  
_ _Gotta say that I absolutely LOVE the idea of Suga and Oikawa being besties (even if I had planned to give Yaku that position, but somehow I ended in Iwaoi hell... :D) They are like super close in my story and I adore these pictures my brain makes up^^)_

* * *

 **Chapter 31: Serious Talks**

"Okay, okay! Now that I've called Iwa-Chan, it's time to get serious again. No more excuses for now, you hear me Kou-Chan?" Tooru exclaimed after he ended a rather emotional and long phone call with his beloved Iwa-Chan.

An unusual air of seriousness surrounded him as he turned back to his friend. It was obvious that the sudden change startled the ash-blond in his seat! What even did he want to talk about? He had concluded that something must be up by the time he was invited to hang out simply by the wording and the pitch of Oikawa's voice. Furthermore, the little remarks the brunet had left from time to time, convinced him slowly but surely that whatever it was must be of great importance. And apparently it had to be family related stuff, seeing how the brunet simply wouldn't shut up about that manner ever since they met up.  
Now that they were sitting together in the living room with a cup of hot chocolate each, Oikawa put on the most serious expression he could muster. Which was a rather rare sight.

For a moment those two simply stared at each other, not speaking a word, which unnerved Suga slightly.  
In the end, the ash-blond was the first to break the silence – he couldn't take the suspense anymore, "So, what is it you wanted to talk about, Tooru? Did something come up?"

Before Oikawa opened his mouth again, he took a deep breath to gather himself. The following discussion wasn't something he could take lightly after all, thus he needed to collect his thoughts once more. If he were completely honest, he had procrastinated the whole ordeal for a couple of days already, but he knew that he couldn't run away anymore. Not after he had promised Sawamura that he would be the first one to bring some light into the darkness in his relationship with his mother, after he had heard of the incident with Koushi's mother. Oikawa truly hoped that this wouldn't backfire, even if this woman had shown some kind of remorse.

After the brunet cleared his throat one last time, he explained, "So, you probably haven't forgotten about the assault at work last month… I heard that there had been another incident at the hospital the day you got discharged… I was wondering if you have talked about that with anyone? Knowing you, you probably kept everything to yourself, right? I know it's kinda late _now_ , but I didn't want to give you a hard time back then and things were going so well between you and Sawa-Chan. What happened to you that morning?"

Taking aback by this unexpected approach, Sugawara did nothing but stare at his friend for a moment. He knew exactly what the other male was hinting at. And it was also true that he and Daichi had avoided the topic like the plague. Or rather Suga always found a way to dodge out of the problem, not matter how his lover had tried to approach the subject. Since Daichi was that careful in tending to his loved one's sensitivity, he hadn't dared to force them to talk, even if they _needed_ to do that to move on _together_. That's why he had sought out Oikawa, knowing fully well that this guy wouldn't drop the issue until it was solved to his satisfaction, while being tactful about any ounce of panic, considering Suga's trauma.

When the ash-blond clenched his fists hard enough for his knuckled to turn white at the sheer memory of seeing his mother unexpectedly, Tooru wrapped his own hands gently around Suga's shaking ones and inched closer to him. In response to that, Suga leaned his head onto the taller male's shoulder, nuzzling a little into his fluffy hair. Tooru had something in him that always seemed to calm him down - which is exactly the reason why Suga allowed himself to lower his guard around him. Not to mention that Tooru had stuck with him throughout his therapy after his attempted suicide nearly ten years ago.

A moment of silence passed by before Suga mumbled softly, "I haven't told anyone besides my doctor… Dai had tried to talk to me about it, but I've avoided the topic so far. My mother showed up at the hospital and wanted to talk? I… I just don't understand! It has been ages since I've last seen my mother! Just why did she show her face now after all those years?! I know it's pathetic to panic from simply _seeing_ someone – it makes me feel like I didn't improve at all over these past few years in therapy! What if she wants to take me away or worse, what if she hurts Daichi! If – If she managed to find me here, so far away from _that place,_ then maybe father-"

Just as he was about to talk himself into a full-blown panic attack, Tooru shushed him with a tight hug. The brunet had known from the start that this conversation would cause a whole bunch of problems, and the trembling man in his arms just confirmed this hunch. The poor ash-blond had started hyperventilating, now that he laid open his deepest insecurities and voicing them truly wasn't as easy as others would expect. Therefore, Oikawa didn't rush him into talking. Instead, he began rubbing circles onto Suga's back and allowed him to burrow himself in his chest until his breathing evened out again.

"Don't talk yourself down, Koushi. We both know how hard you have been fighting for several years now. And you've grown _considerably_ , too! You are a tough cookie, nothing like the wreck you were before, and you're not alone either. I am certain that Sawa-Chan only wants to help you as well. Both of you are grown man, so nobody will take either of you away. You've got a bunch of great friends around you and we are all looking out for you, meaning that you can rely on us when your burdens grow too heavy."

Oikawa's motivational speech was enough to get to Suga completely, even if it brought him to tears once more, though this time out of relief.  
 _I'm truly blessed with friends like him. I wonder how far I would have come if he hadn't saved me from myself all these years ago... Maybe - Maybe it would be better to talk with him about her...  
_ Suga was grateful for all the support and advise his friend had offered, so a part of him did feel obligated to give something back for all his help. Why did Tooru have to make him feel all guilty about keeping quiet? After considering his options once more, Suga decided to bear his heart to Tooru. Decided to let him in.

"If I'm being honest, I can't remember the last time I talked to my mother. We haven't had the best relationship because she was mostly absent due to her work, so she was never there when my father got… abusive. You could say she was the sole breadwinner in our family after he had lost his job, and she pretty much financed father's drinking habits. The few times she was actually home it was all yelling between my parents. Those were moments where I tried to hide away usually, even if that made things worse, sometimes… I really tried to get her to listen, to understand just what kind of monster this man was, but I guess she thought I was exaggerating? That, too, is one of the reasons why I distanced myself from her as well. She… She wasn't even in town when I… When I attempted to... To kill myself. After that, she had tried to get in contact with me, but my therapist and the police forbid it, understandably, and I had no intentions of getting in touch either. I - I wasn't that stable at the time and I struggle till today, so please don't blame me…"

Towards the end of his unexpectedly long explanation, Suga's voice grew quieter and more ridden with sadness. Just as Tooru thought that he had finished talking and was about to give a remark of his own, the ash-blond spoke up once again, even if it was barely a whisper by now.

"Seeing her after all this time put me on edge... It reminded me so much of my past, when she would come up to me to apologize for being gone for so long. I was long scared of them when she did it for the first time because it never ended too well for me as soon as she disappeared again. Her tone of voice and the pitch of it were the same as they were back then - Guess that sent me into shock. Didn't want to think about her, now that I'm with Daichi, with a _real_ family... I was scared that her appearance would ruin what we have built over the past half year, so I didn't dare to bring it up with Dai."

Those were the last things he told the brunet before he wrapped his arms around his own chest to bury himself deeper into the sweater he had stolen from Daichi (again). It smelled just like him, which helped Suga with composing himself.  
For a moment, neither of them said another word, seeing how Tooru needed some time to take everything he just learned about in, while Sugawara tried to get his emotions under control. The brunette hadn't exactly known beforehand what he should expect from that conversation, neither had he imagined that his friend would open up so much. He felt proud and overwhelmed at the same time with the huge trust the ash-blond put into him. Not quite knowing how he should respond now, since Daichi's only request had been to address whatever issue might bother his boyfriend, Oikawa went to pull the other closer by the waist and ran his fingers softly through these soft, ashen locks.

 _At least his relationship with his mother isn't as bad as I feared! Even if she neglected him and denied his problems, the depression… Maybe that can be fixed, if what Sawamura said about her is the truth. Although that's going to need a lot of time, if she intends to win his trust once more after she had completely lost it._

"You know, I think you should tell Sawa-Chan these things. Talking about your past may be hard, but don't you want him to understand why you are so uncomfortable sometimes? He wouldn't force you into anything, not after all he learned about you over the time and what he had to witness concerning your difficult family matters. Maybe her showing up was some sort of sign? What would you do if she wants to be a part of your life again? To make up for all the things you had to go through?" Tooru suggested, still stroking the other male's head.

That statement set the gears in Suga's brain in motion. Never before had he considered that his mum could want to reconnect, even after all these years. _Is that the reason why Daichi was so adamant about the whole situation? Maybe he really knows more than he leads on!_ Although that didn't sit all too well with Suga, if he was being honest with himself. Well, those two did meet each other at the hospital, so it was highly possible that they had exchanged a few words, probably about him as well.

It finally dawned on Sugawara that he might have acted like an ignorant child in order to postpone a serious issue, something he couldn't run away from forever, so he was truly grateful for what Oikawa did. Knowing that words weren't necessarily needed between them, he simply nudged his pregnant friend gently before he enveloped him in another warm hug.  
 _What did I do to deserve such a wonderful and understanding friend?_  
Before they knew it, both of them fell asleep - huddled together, seeking comfort in each other's warmth.


	32. Chapter 32: Peaceful moments

_Sorry for the delay, but my exams are finally over now! This chapter is more like a filler chapter, because I didnt wanna rush into what I have planned._

* * *

 **Chapter 32: Peaceful moments**

While the motherly teachers used their free time to get some shopping done, their respective partners had a rather calm day at the police department themselves. It was a nice and welcome change of pace every now and then. Iwaizumi and Daichi were relaxing among themselves, even Kuroo had found the time to join them today. Since they had already finished all of their paperwork and it didn't look like there would be any emergency soon, their boss had chased them out of the office to spend more time with their partners. Right now, the three of them, were on their way to the Iwaizumi-household, after they had relaxed in a little coffee shop with delicious cakes and steaming hot coffee. It was the same café where Daichi had encountered his beautiful soulmate, which had made him feel a little nostalgic as he sat there with his friends.

As they were walking down the street to Iwaizumi's place, the topic of their conversation turned towards their beloved boyfriends after some time.

"So, how are things going, now that your boyfriend is halfway through his pregnancy? Anything crazy going on at home? Or perhaps anything spicy in the bedroom?" Kuroo asked as he poked the smaller male's side teasingly.

He smirked down at the black-haired guy, while he dodged Iwaizumi's attempts of shoving him away. Iwaizumi simply rolled his eyes at his noisy antics, although he felt the slightest bit embarrassed, seeing how it reminded him about the growing desire of his pregnant partner. And the Rooster Head caught up on that immediately, resulting in him whistling. Even Daichi, one of Hajime's closest friends, hid a grin of his own behind his hand!

"Oh, would you stop grinning already! As if you and Sugawara are any different - I've seen the way he stares as you. Don't even try to deny that!" Iwaizumi barked out with flushed cheeks, which in return caused Daichi to blush as well. He wasn't wrong about it after all. Kuroo on the other hand couldn't contain himself as he started cackling to the point where he had to clutch his stomach, clearly amused by the whole situation. His easily flustered friends surely were an interesting bunch!

All three of them needed a moment to regain their composure, both from laughter as well as from embarrassment.  
In the end it was Iwaizumi who spoke up first. "If you were seriously curious though, I'd say that nothing _crazy_ is going on at home. Yeah, Tooru is more emotional and affectionate than usual and he is craving a lot of sweet things at the most random times. His mood swings are pretty intense as well, so I'm trying to avoid anything that might offend him, which is in fact harder than it sounds."

By now they were walking up the staircase leading to Iwaizumi's apartment. Earlier that day, the trio had decided to leave the café and walk to his place after they had been notified by Tooru and Koushi that they were done with shopping and continued hanging out at home. Although Tooru had only called him to scream his ears off with how excited he was about feeling the babies' movement for the first time. Of course, his partner had been overjoyed by such news, he had only been less open about showing that. He'd rather not give Kuroo any more reasons to make fun of in the future. Especially since Tooru took everything to heart, not matter if something was directed at himself or his loved one. Therefore, to preserve his lover's happiness, he turned to Kuroo with a prominent scowl on his face.

"I swear to god, if you hurt his hormone-affected feelings any way, I will hunt you down, Kuroo!" Iwaizumi threatened him, meaning every word he had just said.  
Said Rooster Head simply raised his hands in defence with that lazy smile of his. No way in hell, would he ever risk hurting any of his friends or their respective partners, if he could avoid it. He didn't have a death wish after all.

Soon enough, they arrived at the apartment. In front of the door, they immediately noticed how unexpectedly _quiet_ it was. Not a sound was heard from inside, not even the TV was running, which was quite strange, considering that Suga and Tooru were supposed to be here. Those two were always such chatty and passionate characters who didn't bother hiding their amazement at all. Not to mention that they were both easily excited. Since none of them had notified their respective partner about taking any other trips ever since they returned to the flat, Iwaizumi and Daichi acted more carefully as they entered the flat. They weren't sure what kind of situation they would find here, so the three men kept their voices down with Kuroo sneaking in at the front.

Upon entering the living room Kuroo didn't waste a second as held his hand out to stop the other two – not only from moving but also from talking any more. In a hushed tone, he ordered, "Daichi, hand me your phone, quick!"  
It goes without saying that it confused the addressed brunet greatly, yet he complied without question and handed over the device. As soon as the Rooster Head had taken a couple of photos, he stepped aside to let the other two enter the room. However, nothing in the world could have prepared them for the sight presented in front of their eyes.

There on the sofa were Koushi and Tooru bundled up in a self-made nest of blankets and pillows, leaning against the other, obviously cuddling underneath the blankets. Tousled hair, flushed cheeks and content smiles on their faces were enough to melt even the toughest man – Daichi and even Iwaizumi were completely over the moon by such cuteness, proved by the goofiest of smiles etched onto their faces.

"Oh my god… This is just adorable!" Daichi cooed with obvious delight in his voice. The expression he wore was one of pure adoration and he was definitely glad that Kuroo had snatched away his phone to save this sweet moment for them.

"They are looking so peaceful right now… It's nice to see how much they can trust and rely on each other. Make sure to send me that photo, though," Iwaizumi whispered as he moved a strand of hair out of Tooru's face, especially gentle as to not wake him up. Although, he tried to keep up his straight face, not wanting his friends to see him all sappy and mushy. Those efforts, however, were wasted the moment his fiancé snuggled into Iwaizumi's hand and mumbled his name in his sleep with a happy smile gracing his soft lips. Now he couldn't hide any longer how much this scene touched him, because that stupid grin just wouldn't leave his face no matter how much he wanted to wipe that expression off.

At least Kuroo proved to have enough common sense and left his lovestruck friends alone to enjoy their cute discovery. With a simple pad on each of their backs, he bid his farewell and showed himself out of the shared apartment. Though it was a shame that their relaxed outing after work was over now, he wasn't too keen on watching his buddies act all lovey-dovey with their respective and truly adorable boyfriends.

Since disrupting these sleeping beauties would be considered a serious crime, Iwaizumi and Daichi retreated to the kitchen as well. Which was luckily just in view of the living room, so they could keep their eyes on their beloved partners. Iwaizumi took a look into his fridge and threw a can of beer towards his colleague. Said brunet caught it with ease and made himself as comfortable as possible in the little dining area. It's been far too long since they had been able to hang out like that together with their busy lifestyles! Not to mention that it was nice for Daichi to see his boyfriend so peacefully asleep. Suga truly needed the rest, especially after all these restless nights due to nightmares which had kept him awake for the past weeks ever since his encounter at the hospital. Maybe that meant that he and Oikawa had been able to talk things out to the extent of calming the ash-blond? Whatever it was, Daichi surely was happy about the nice result their outing seemed to have.

 _I hope Oikawa was able to get at least a little insight into his past concerning his mother. Seeing how calm he looks right now, they might have addressed the issue. I'm glad he has someone he trusts enough to share these painful things, even if it isn't me he is sharing those things with. I'll do anything in my power to help him with whatever struggle we might be facing in the future!_

Daichi was content that everything would work in the end and he had a feeling that including Suga's mother back in his life was a necessary step for him to come to terms with his past. After all, having a family was something his Koushi had always yearned for.


	33. Chapter 33: Courage to Change

**# Chapter 33: Courage to change**

A few days had gone by since Suga's discussion with Oikawa. The ash-blond had turned the sensitive issue over in his mind almost nonstop, after he had decided to open up more to Daichi. Now, on a calm Thursday evening he was keeping himself busy as he swept through the kitchen, baking a large assortment of sweets - a habit he picked up somewhere in the past whenever he was stressed out. Fortunately, Daichi wasn't home yet, so he could pass some of the treats to their neighbours without getting caught, while he stored a batch of brownies along with some cupcakes in boxes for the children at the kindergarten. Surely they would love some sweets as well. And one layered chocolate cream cake as well as two fruit tarts weren't too much to keep, right? Not to mention that Tooru was yearning for sweets on a regular basis now, so he could give him something to soothe his cravings, too!

"Oh dear, that escalated a tad! Might as well snack on one or two things..." Koushi mumbled as he gazed upon his mountain of sweets and the mess his stress-baking resulted in. Thus, he did just that, which left him so distracted that he never noticed the main door opening and closing after some time. Only when a pair of strong arms wound around his slender waist, the ash-blond got startled out of his sugar-induced daze. Sweet kisses rained down his sensitive neck, while calloused fingers slid underneath Koushi's shirt, making him shiver from the fleeting touch of his lover's hands.

Daichi continued caressing his stomach as he nuzzled into the other's ashen locks and muttered softly, "I'm home, Sweetums. Everything okay with you? You surely have outdone yourself with your baking tonight."

Damn Daichi. There went his idea of hiding his intense baking-session. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that he was caught red handed snacking on his freshly baked chocolate cake! Realizing that it was useless to pretend that his obvious discomfort didn't exist, the ash-blond sighed in defeat and turned around in his strong arms, where he found himself immediately attacked by Daichi's lips. The feeling of his lover's lips against his softer ones distracted him instantly. The way they moved against each other in perfect sync was enough to turn Koushi's legs to jelly, so he wrapped his arms around the taller brunet's neck for more support. Satisfied by that reaction, Daichi angled his head a little more and nibbled softly at his lower lip, teasingly asking for entrance, whereas his hands moved down to his boyfriend's waist to pull him closer against his body. Koushi moaned in response, which enabled Daichi to slide his tongue inside his mouth. The ash-blond tangled his hands in Daichi's short, dark hair as their tongues played around each other's until they had to move apart to catch their breath. Both were a little breathless after their heated make-out-session.

Daichi had a mischievous smirk on his face as he gazed into the glazed over eyes of his boyfriend, before he leaned down to whisper in his ear, "You're tasting even sweeter than usual! Must be all the cake I've caught you eating. My sweet and lovely Koushi."

Said ash-blond flushed bright red at the rather sexual remark - his previous worry instantly replaced by burning desire. Which is why he pulled Daichi in for another hungry kiss, who returned the kiss with eager, tasting every corner of his mouth. Knowing full well how much their feverish kisses aroused Koushi, Daichi kept his hands to himself on purpose, and yet he drove his boyfriend crazy by grinding their hips together.

The moment Suga's trembling legs were about to give out, he got lifted onto an empty kitchen counter by his boyfriend, causing him to gasp from the sudden movement. As if that wasn't surprising enough, Daichi dove down to pepper his neck with kisses, while his hand slid slowly into his lover's sweatpants. Koushi let out a loud moan as he felt Daichi pump his erection and he kept gasping at every little sensation his boyfriend caused with his tongue and his calloused fingers.

"Somebody's gotten pretty excited down there, huh?" the brunet teased him in a husky voice, not stopping his stroking all the while.

Since Koushi was just about to reach his limit, he grabbed a fist full of Daichi's shirt to pull him down. "You know, I actually wanted to discuss something with you. But now," he muttered as he tore the brunet's shirt open, "I'd much rather want you to fuck me, Dai!"

He received a low growl in response, accompanied with Daichi lifting him up by the waist. Koushi wrapped his legs around Daichi's middle, feeling his excitement at their closeness and went back to devour his boyfriend, while he carried them to the bedroom. Already on the way there, they lost part of their clothes, not caring at all about the mess they left behind. As soon as Koushi's back hit the mattress, his pants and underwear were ripped down and a pair of chapped lips wrapped around his most sensitive area, eliciting a chain of lewd moans and mewls from the ash-blond. It didn't take much for him to reach his climax at this point.

"Dai, I - I need you so bad! Please, put it in, I can't take it anymore!" Koushi begged him finally, filled to the brim with his desire for him. Daichi, too, didn't waste a second when he pulled down his own pants at this request, revealing his throbbing erection. Just looking at that sent a tingling sensation of anticipation through Koushi's body. He needed him so much! Both men groaned in pleasure as Daichi climbed on top of his lover and pushed his hard member all the way in. Their bodies rocked together immediately, providing each other with the greatest pleasure, with nothing but their moaning echoing through the halls whenever they weren't sucking on each other's tongues. A long and passionate night was in store for them, both crying the other's name lost in pleasure and sexual desire.

The sight of his boyfriend's gentle expression was what Suga woke up to following their _slightly_ escalated night together. His limbs were positively sore and getting up wasn't something the ash-blond had in mind for at least a few more hours. Instead, he snuggled closer against his toned chest with one arm wrapping around his waist. Staring at his peaceful face when he was still asleep was something he had truly grown fond of, since it didn't happen all too often with their busy schedules. When a pair of familiar hands ghosted down his spine, a pleasant shudder went through his body and he began to smile involuntarily. Sugawara leaned up to press a soft kiss on Daichi's jaw, followed by a peck on his cheek until the brunet angled his head as well to connect their lips in a gentle greeting.

"You've been staring babe. Am I that handsome or what?" His deep voice greeted him as he gazed into Suga's glistening, hazel eyes with an amused smile on his face.

A little shy about getting caught once again doing something embarrassing so many times since yesterday, he hid his red face in his lover's chest and mumbled, "Oh, shush you! I think I'll just never believe that I am allowed to wake up next to such a wonderful man as you every day, so excuse me! Love you, Dai-Chan…"

The brunet didn't say anything in response – he simply tightened his embrace and went back to caressing the other without any sexual intention. In the end, the couple stayed in bed for quite some time, only to enjoy each other's warmth as they cuddled underneath the fluffy blankets, while sunshine warmed their skin comfortably.

Only Daichi's sense of duty got them out of bed, since they still had to go to work. Much to Suga's disdain. His hips were definitely going to kill him today, not to mention the teasing he would have to endure on behalf of Oikawa and Hinata! Hence, he was already rather grumpy and his lover's amusement wasn't helping him at all. Not even his glaring shut up the brunet this time!

"Would you stop laughing at me already! This is all your fault anyways! As if you can imagine how I am feeling right now!" the ash-blond snapped at him, obviously pouting, while he nibbled on his cereal. Daichi, who was already by the counter preparing two bento, paused his work and simply leaned down to kiss his cheek. Just as Suga was about to melt into his gentle touch, Daichi's hands slipped down to his waist.

"Oh? I'd like to believe that you thought differently yesterday night. If my memory is correct, you were quite desperate for my touch! You were really hot, babe." Daichi whispered in a low voice right by Suga's ear, while he his fingers played with the waistband of his boxers. This bold gesture flustered Suga so much that he felt like his face was on fire and he nearly spit out his breakfast in shock. Satisfied with his reaction, Daichi retreated giggling, leaving this crimson mess of his boyfriend to cool off in his seat.

After both of them had collected themselves again, they went back to their usual morning routine, meaning showering, dressing and preparing everything for their individual work schedules. This time, though, it included wrapping up some of the extra sweets Koushi had produced the day before. Which also left one main question.

"Since we didn't really have a chance yesterday… Did something happen to you that you busied yourself with baking to such an extent? I know your habits and your distressed state had left me quite worried. Just wanted to take your mind off of things, even if I might have… went a bit rough on you? Please, just talk to me whenever you feel ready, okay? I love you, Koushi."

The gaze with which he bestowed his beautiful boyfriend was one of care and unaltered love as he said all those words to him, breaking down the remaining walls said ash-blond had built around himself long ago. So, he confessed, softly but with determination in his voice, "Once you get back from work today, I want to talk with you about my mom. I couldn't bring myself to do so earlier because of that stupid anxiety, but Tooru had made a point when we were hanging out and I feel bad about excluding you. I hope you can forgive me for my silence, because I love you so much as well."

Daichi could tell that Suga was still nervous about the upcoming conversation, if his quiet voice and his shaking was anything to go by. Thus, he embraced the other, gently rubbing circles onto his back to show him through actions that he didn't have to fear a thing. Whether it was about his past or their shared future didn't matter. And Suga understood. When he looked up to meet Daichi's eyes, his own were shining with emotion, and he had the softest of smiles gracing his lips. As if gravity was pulling them closer, the ash-blond leaned up to connect their lips in a short, but sweet kiss. It was his way to convey his thankfulness.

His boyfriend felt relief rush through his bones upon learning that his other half had only tried to ease his nerves and wasn't in some kind of serious trouble. The poor guy had suffered enough as it is after all. It hurt Daichi to think about how much his love had battled with his fears and emotions all alone these past weeks, yet he couldn't possibly blame him either. Who enjoyed talking about traumatic memories anyways? Still, the brunet was truly glad that the issue would be addressed soon.

The couple stayed in each other's arms for a little eternity, exchanging countless, sweet kisses throughout the whole time. In the end, it was the ringing of the doorbell that tore the lovestruck couple apart. Whoever had decided to bother them this morning surely was impatient with how aggressively they rang at the door. Suga was the first to move away, though he did rather reluctantly. The culprit – or in that case culprits – turned out to be a bright grinning Oikawa, accompanied by his apologetic looking fiancé. Without giving the ash-blond a second to register their arrival, the brunet literally jumped at Suga and squeezed the life out of him in a bone crushing hug. Since Sugawara hadn't expected anything like that at all, he let out a startled cry at such a surprise attack – alarming his boyfriend next door. Daichi was right by his side in an instant, ready to protect him from whatever had caused him distress.

"Geez, Tooru! Don't scare me like that!" the ashen haired male complained while he reciprocated the hug and patted his back.

"Sorry, Kou-Chan! I'm just so happy today! I've even convinced Iwa-Chan to come here earlier, so we can hang out a bit before we have to get movin'!"

It wasn't hard to miss his delightful mood, this time not covered by his typical, flirtatious grin. And his positivity was definitely contagious, seeing how Suga felt immediately lighter after watching his dear friend skip into the kitchen, where he discovered the batch of brownies. His eyes wandered from the treats to Suga and back until the ash-blond gave him a nod. Upon gaining his approval, Oikawa's eyes lightened up as if he had just received the world's greatest news. It was endearing to watch.

"I'd like to apologize for the mess, but... I got kinda distracted before I could clean up in here?"

Oikawa raised an eyebrow at that and chirped innocently, "Oh? Got wrapped up in Sawa-Chan's seduction, huh?"

Both _suspects_ turned crimson at his suggestive phrasing and Suga immediately went to deny anything he had hinted at, however, was successfully shut up by Oikawa's following statement.

"You know, if you want to be subtle about it, you shouldn't leave your _clothes_ abandoned in the hallway. That just screams _'We were horny as fuck and couldn't wait two minutes longer.'_ "

If Suga had managed to recover from his previous embarrassment, his face was now positively on fire. Daichi too, couldn't help but grew flustered - especially since he had hid bullseye with his assumption. Neither of the two even tried to defend themselves, simply praying that Oikawa wouldn't hold it against them for the rest of their lives. What a way to start the morning.  
They settled down at the table afterwards, where they enjoyed Suga's baking, light small-talk and relaxed in the calm atmosphere of the morning.

"If it is okay to ask, what is the occasion for baking so many different cakes, Suga-San?" Iwaizumi asked some time.

This sudden question caused the other three to stiffen, which in return worried Iwaizumi. Just as he was about to apologize for making him uncomfortable, Suga interrupted him, "I'm a stress baker. There had been something on my mind for a while and I had yet to convince myself to... To actually talk about it."

He moved unconsciously closer to Daichi as he explained a little to which he responded by putting his arm around Suga's waist. This action wasn't missed by their guests, still they kept quiet about it, sensing it had to be a rather private issue. Only Oikawa could imagine just what had his buddy so distressed. Though, he didn't mind the extra sweets! Iwaizumi, Daichi and Oikawa could see that their friend was contemplating something in silence after his first explanation. It wasn't hard to figure with how much he scrunched up his nose, deep in thought. What they didn't expect was for Sugawara to open up in front of all of them.

"If I'm being honest, I had wanted to do this tonight when I'm alone with Dai. But somehow…" Suga stopped mid-sentence and turned to face his boyfriend. "First of all, I'm sorry about worrying you nonstop these past few weeks. I was… Just afraid, I guess. Coming across my mother took me by surprise and I was kinda… I don't know. It reminded me so much of my past. The last time I had seen her was in a different hospital, after some… _complications_ during therapy, and the scenario just didn't feel real. I have managed to get my life back together after so many years of abuse and hospital stays, found the best soulmate I could ever imagine and I'm finally feeling _alive_! I was scared that her appearance would somehow destroy this… She was just never there, neither helped nor believed me until it was nearly too late… She never hurt me with her own two hands, but her ignorance had sometimes worsened the situation whenever I had tried to get her to listen to me."

By the end of his summarized story, he snuggled closely into Daichi's side with an iron-grip on his shirt. Obviously seeking his closeness for comfort. Daichi had pulled him onto his lap at some point and was now gently rubbing circles with his thumb on his arm, something that had happened so casually that neither of them had actually realized how openly affectionate they were acting in front of their friends. Still, Iwaizumi and Oikawa did notice that and even raised an eyebrow at such a display, however, kept their commentary towards the behaviour of those lovebirds to themselves. After all, it was an endearing thing to watch.

Despite not telling too much about the problem itself, it wasn't difficult to figure out that the majority of the problem was due to a lack of communication over many years, as well as the mental issues he had developed over the years of abuse.

"Thank you for sharing that with us. It really means a lot to me, because I know how hard that must have been on you. And we are going to find a solution for that mess. Together. I promise you I'll support whatever decision you're going to make on that matter. It's up to you if you want to start anew with your mother or if you want to keep the distance. Nobody has the right to question your decision, because this is _your_ life and I as well want only the best for you."

Hearing such understanding words coming from his beloved boyfriend reduced Sugawara to tears. He had expected the other to explode in anger because his current problem consisted of such trivial things or because he kept things secret from him in general. The ash-blond was instead met with even more cuddles, much to his pleasure. He should have told him much sooner, Suga realized, while he nuzzled softly into Daichi's neck. His lover tightened his embrace around Suga's slender waist and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, followed by another chaste one on his lips when the ash-blond turned his head slightly. It was Daichi's way to emphasize his point. Those two were so caught up in their little private zone that they seemed to have forgotten that they were sitting together with their friends and colleagues.

Across from them, Oikawa was getting all giddy by watching his best friend getting showered with love and affection. For once he didn't feel like popping their dreamy bubble with a teasing remark, because seeing his friend all delighted and loved made him exceptionally happy as well. His Koushi was bright red in the face by now due to all of Sawa-Chan's kisses and he couldn't hide how relieved and glad he felt about his positive reaction towards his fear.

Only the sound of Iwaizumi clearing his throat pulled every present member of their round back to earth. Suga and Daichi exchanged a few glances before they turned to look at a seemingly embarrassed Iwaizumi and a glowing Oikawa. As soon as it dawned on them just how sappy they had acted in front of their friends, both men turned an even brighter shade of crimson, resulting in Sugawara hiding his face in his hands and letting out a strangled cry.

"While I am happy that you trust us enough to share these grave details with us and you two are obviously _very_ content about solving the issue at hand, I need to remind you guys that we still have to get to work in a few if we don't want to be late." Iwaizumi stated, avoiding direct eye contact.

Oikawa piped in, "Oh, you're right! I really don't want to interrupt you two lovebirds, but we'll be really late if you guys continue making out like that. We better get going before you take Sawa-Chan to the bedroom! Which is by the way nothing you will excused from work for. So get your ass out of your boyfriend's lap and get movin´!"

Only a few minutes later, the four of them left the Sawamura household. Sugawara and Oikawa took Koushi's car, while Daichi and Iwaizumi got into the latter one's car to drive to their respective workplaces. All of them felt a little lighter after witnessing and experiencing such a domestic moment at Sawamura's apartment and especially the involved couple had finally managed to take a step forward in Suga's difficult family matters. The ash-blond was convinced that maybe they really could work it out together – as a family.


	34. Chapter 34: Baby Steps

_Oh boy, this is going to be a wild ride! I've written probably half of it at work out of boredom..._

* * *

 **Chapter 34: Baby Steps**

In the end, it turned out to be a rather calm and nice day for the nursery school teachers, seeing how they only had to watch over six kids. A severe flu was going around at the moment, which had knocked out most of their fosterlings. Still, the teachers didn't mind the relaxing day at all. Oikawa found himself often at the centre of attention – his pregnancy attracted the curiosity of their little trouble makers and his innocent explanation of life growing inside of him left them in absolute awe. It was adorable to watch how careful even the wildest children of the kindergarten acted around the pregnant brunet as they didn't want to hurt the unborn babies or their mother. Needless to say, Oikawa enjoyed the special treatment and it made his daily duties even more joyful than usual.  
And the batch of brownies and cupcakes Sugawara had brought with him made everything go even smoother, since the kids were basically eating out of his hands to gain themselves a treat or two.

Fortunately, Oikawa decided to close the kindergarten sooner that day, seeing how each child was picked up in the early afternoon. Which is exactly how Oikawa, Suga, Hinata, Yachi and Yaku ended up in the break room, nibbling on cake and exchanging stories of their private lives and their beloved partners. Occasionally making fun of said lovers, of course. As if the timing couldn't be any better, Sugawara's attention got stolen away by the _ping_ of his phone. A fond smile found its way onto his face as he saw the name of his boyfriend on the display.

 _[Dai-Chan 3]: "Good news! Get to finish work sooner today! I hope you're fine after our little talk this morning…"_

The ash-blond replied after considering his feelings for a moment, remembering the embarrassing events from earlier.

 _[Suga]: "Yeah, me too! Don't worry about me, I'm good. And thank you. For putting up with someone as messed up as me. I just love you so much, that I was afraid you would turn away from me, if I were to tell you how pathetic and scared I still am from things long gone…"_

The reply came almost immediately, making the receiver blush upon the sudden intimate turn their messages took.

 _[Dai-Chan 3]: "Don't talk yourself down like that. You are an amazing person, so sweet and caring and you're so beautiful that even angels pale in comparison to you! There is not a thing I don't love about you. You are the best that ever happened to me and if you doubt your own worth, I'll show you gladly all day and night how much I worship you for the rest of our lives!"_

Attached to his heartfelt message was a photo of Daichi smiling softly at the camera with a slightly rosy tint to his cheeks, while his hand formed one half of a heart. Such a sap! Apparently taken in a locker room of the police department, which was noticeable simply because his beefy boyfriend was currently shirtless. Suga was surely delighted from hearing – or reading in that case – such straightforward words and he couldn't suppress the light chuckle bubbling in his throat. There wasn't much for him to say in response, especially because his boyfriend would fend off anything Suga would criticize about himself or his behaviour. Another text message arrived just before he could even type out a reply anyway.

 _[Dai-Chan 3]: "Hey, I'm on my way now. Do you wanna go on a date, if you're already done at the kindergarten? Maybe see a movie or something? We can talk, too, if you're ready for it."_

Before the ash-blond could give his okay, his phone was snatched out of his hands by none other than Oikawa. Upon seeing the chat, he snickered and exclaimed, "Oh the passion your Sawa-Chan possesses! I never would have guessed that you're such a thirsty guy, Kou-Chan! No wonder you're in such a good mood these days!"

That caused not only Suga to grow incredibly flustered, but also all of his friends to laugh out loud. Despite the little blush on Yachi's cheeks, she was still just as amused as the others. Maybe it was his own fault for keeping their sometimes _slightly naughty_ conversations on his phone. Who could blame him for bedding that hunk of a boyfriend, though? Not to mention those god damn _thighs_! The thought of his illegally hot boyfriend, especially their steamy night wasn't helping his blush at all and these knowing smirks made it even worse.

"Oh, will you shut up, Tooru! _I_ am not the pregnant one here! So, I'm not going to let _you_ make fun of my sex life! Now give me back my phone, so I can accept Dai-Chan's invitation!" the ash-blond complained, while he reached over the table to grab the phone out of Oikawa's hands. Well, he tried to at least. The others didn't intervene – they were actually highly amused at the scene in front of them. It was Hinata who snatched the phone away. He ran successfully in circles around the table, away from the older as he skipped through their partially lewd exchange.

"Are you sure about that, Suga-San? Who knows how much time you have left until you've got a bun in the oven? You guys seem to be pretty _active_ from what I can see here. Not to mention _all these times_ I saw you limping!" teased Hinata, once he was wrapped in a headlock by Sugawara.

His friends didn't leave him a chance to regain his composure as they kept joking about the topic at hand, definitely enjoying the situation. Not even the ringing of his phone brought an end to the teasing, which resulted in Yaku answering the phone instead of the ash-blond, while the others pinned Suga down in the meantime, tickling the life out of their dear friend and Senpai.

"Hello, Sawamura-San, this is Yaku Morisuke on the phone. Sorry to disappoint you, but Suga is currently unavailable. Do you want me to pass a message through to him?"

The voice of the caller immediately rose an octave higher in worry at such a statement and he exclaimed loudly, "Oh my god, is he alright? I - I didn't scare or pressure him earlier, did I? Oh no, I shouldn't have pushed the issue yet…"  
Daichi's tone dropped in sorrow at the possibility that he might have overstepped his boundaries with his wish to take some of the weight off of his lover's shoulders. That kind of triggered Yaku's motherly side and he explained softly, "No, no he's quite alright! I'm sorry if I have scared you, Sawamura-San, that wasn't my intention. We were just teasing Suga and might have gone a little overboard there. You're on your way to pick him up, I assume?"

A sigh of relief was heard on the other side - a reaction that caused guilt to flood Yaku's mind, knowing how tough things must have been between the now lovestruck couple. As the small brunet watched how childishly his co-workers and friends were acting, now piling onto the ash-blond on the floor in a cuddling heap, he listened to whatever Daichi was telling him. Not that he actually paid attention to what was said because his main focus was on an overly excited and clearly delighted Sugawara. How much he had opened up after meeting his soulmate!

Only once Daichi said his goodbye and announced his arrival at the kindergarten, Yaku snapped out of his daydreaming and went to welcome the other male in the building. The perceptive teacher also noticed the growing discomfort of their visitor with each step in these all too familiar halls. Truth to be told, Daichi felt truly out of place in there. Like he didn't belong in here. Not anymore, at least. And Yaku knew. He understood why Daichi hadn't stepped in the building even once to pick up his boyfriend, even if he couldn't imagine entirely what the other must be feeling about this place. Thinking it would be the best if Daichi didn't stray any further into the colourful rooms, Yaku promised to get Suga for him. Though, he still felt bad about leaving the other in the hallway all alone. He just hoped that Sugawara would get the urgency.

While Daichi was left to his own devices, he ended up wandering down the hallway. It was decorated with children's drawings, photos and even a handful of letters from some of the older kids. How nostalgic looking at them felt... Most drawings contained nothing out of the ordinary: usually happy families, playing friends and cute animals. What caught his eye almost immediately after spotting a familiar choice of colours, was one drawing hung a little separated from the others. On it was a little girl, next to one lone male, clad in what resembled a police uniform. They were shown hand in hand with huge smiles on their faces in front of a small house surrounded by greenery. What captured his attention - and wrenched his heart all the same - were the scribbled words reading "World's coolest superhero." circled by a huge heart. Attached to that piece of art was a single photo, obviously the reference for that artwork. It was a photo of Daichi and Sachiko, taken only a few days before that terrible incident by one of their neighbours.

Seeing their last family photo brought back a ton of memories, from the day he first held her in his arms to the fateful day he lost his little sunshine all those months ago. The brunet hadn't even realized he was crying yet. Only when a few tears dripped down onto the picture in his hands, he quickly went to wipe them away. Why did it have to end like that? Why couldn't he have been the one hit by a bullet back then? Would things have turned out any different if he had been on time? What if, what if, what if... Was it even his fault? Had he been too weak to protect the one thing that mattered the most for years?  
As his self-doubts doubled over in his mind and heart, so did his tears. Not that he spared any thoughts to such profanities in his sentimental moment. Being so lost in his own little world, Daichi never noticed his partner standing meters behind him.

Sugawara approached him slowly, careful so he wouldn't startle the brunet in his daze. The sight of his silently crying partner had thoroughly startled the ash-blond, since he hadn't expected anything like that after their chat before. And yet he understood where the sudden breakdown came from. Daichi hadn't cried that openly for as long as they had lived together - he had held himself together as much as possible, with the exception of a hand full of times. Had he really been able to grieve properly with all the trouble concerning a certain ash-blond? Maybe being here, in a place full of evidence of her existence, was what made him realize that he truly had lost her for good. In the end, it had been the decision of the whole faculty that everything Sachiko had left behind in the kindergarten was to be displayed in their so called hallway of memory. A hallway in which many children who had left the kindergarten at some time put up pictures and other things so that they would always be remembered by the friends they left behind.

For a moment, Suga contemplated whether he should approach his boyfriend or not. It tore at his heartstrings to see him miserable like that. After a few more seconds, he walked up to him and put his hands gently over his trembling ones – he was still holding onto Sachiko's picture.

"We wanted to honour her by displaying her last drawings here, like we do for those kids who left our facility to attend Elementary School. You can keep them if you want," the ash-blond explained softly.

Daichi didn't respond at all to his explanation, but Sugawara didn't expect him to. Instead, he pulled the brunet in a gentle embrace, which seemed to be for the best seeing how Daichi buried his face in the crook of Suga's neck. As soon as Daichi was surrounded by the familiar scent of his partner, he broke out in heart-breaking sobs. Sugawara knew that talking right now wouldn't help much, so he simply lent him his shoulder to cry on and rubbed circles onto his back. The couple stayed like that until Daichi was out of tears.

With his voice all hoarse from crying, the brunet croaked, "I'm sorry… For ruining your shirt. I guess I was just so overwhelmed right now and the memories kept coming back and I was feeling so many things at once and I miss her like crazy and now I'm rambling! I – I didn't mean to fall apart like that so suddenly…"

Sugawara shushed him with a quick kiss and reassured him just as gently, "No, don't apologize for something like that. You haven't really had a chance to mourn her death until now and these bottled up feelings burst out all at once, now that you're back to the place where it happened. Just let it out. We can stay for as long as you need. Maybe look through some of her things, if you'd like."

The brunet gave a silent nod and let Suga coddle him. Soon enough, the grieving father found himself somehow moved to sit in a comfy beanbag chair in Sachiko's former classroom. Sugawara's colleagues had realized as well what was going on after witnessing the usually tough and confident police officer break down like that. Thus, they gave them some space, seeing how crowding him now wouldn't help the situation at all. The ash-blond spent the following fifteen minutes collecting the things Sachiko had left behind at the kindergarten, from drawings to photos and other items her tiny hands had crafted, and he told Daichi the story to each object. It helped. Helped in getting some kind of closure at least.

In the end, Daichi felt a lot more at ease, obtained a bunch of mementos to keep and was ready to head out with his boyfriend. But not without apologizing for the scene he had made earlier. Of course, nobody took offense in that, so they just kicked them out to 'enjoy their goddamn date'. Their first and major goal was to take the weight off their minds from all the stress each of them had suffered from. Since neither of them wanted to ruin the mood they had restored by now, they postponed the planned discussion once again. Something they were apparently too skilled at. Therefore, the couple went to watch a movie – a romantic one because that provided the perfect excuse to cuddle – followed by a leisure trip to the mall to do some window shopping. In a moment of silliness, the couple decided to spice things up for their amusement: they randomly grabbed a bunch a clothes to try on in each shop they strolled through. It didn't matter that some of them looked completely ridiculous, while other outfits complimented both men nicely, they had fun nonetheless. Both couldn't hide the smiles and snorts this unexpected experience caused.

Which is also how Suga ended up in a fluffy crème-coloured skirt by mere accident. It wasn't on purpose on Daichi's part, though. Not really. This time, Suga didn't feel confident enough to step out of the dressing room. Even if he had to admit that the fluttery fabric was strangely comfortable and the colour flattered him. His hesitance didn't go unnoticed by his waiting partner, however.

After a soft knock on the wooden door, Daichi asked worriedly, "You okay in there babe? You're quiet."

"I - Uh... I won't step out in this. You handed me a _skirt,_ Dai!" After considering his options, he added shyly, "If you still wanna take a look, get in here."

A moment later, the door opened wide enough for Daichi to slip inside, where he took in the view his boyfriend provided. Once the ash-blond saw himself and Daichi in the mirror, he came to the sudden realization of how close they were in such a confined place nonetheless. Heat rushed towards his cheeks as he noticed how intense the brunet stared at him and the fact that he was currently in a skirt didn't help his nerves at all. With the silence stretching on, the whole situation got even more awkward, resulting in Suga fumbling with the hem of his skirt. A mistake, he realized when his boyfriend turned unbelievably red.

"Cute," was all Daichi muttered, before he pulled the other male closer, using Suga's surprise to plant a single, sweet kiss on his soft lips. It was such an innocent and gentle gesture, it made both smile once they parted, foreheads resting again each other's.

"God, you're beautiful, Koushi! As weird as it may sound, it suits you. You're already the most divine being on earth, so this skirt makes you even cuter!" the brunet gushed, embarrassing his lover even further. Suga hid his face in Daichi's chest, pinched him a little and whined, "Why must you be so embarrassing? Are you fonder of me or that piece of clothing?"

Instead of answering straight away, Daichi pushed him gently against the wall, devoured his lips once more, while his hands wandered down to squeeze his ass through the thin fabric. It was a weird sensation, but also kind of hot on second though. Leaving the ash-blond pretty much breathless, the brunet whispered in his ear, "I love you of course. But seeing you like this makes me want to do things to you, babe."

With that, he left the dressing room – mostly because his self-control would be in danger if he stayed a minute longer. Sugawara was left a blushing and panting mess, as well as pouting from getting teased so much. After their unplanned, little make-out-session, the two of them went out for a walk in the park. They ended up buying some crepes from a stall on their way and shared their sweet treat with one another. Their date allowed them to let go of all the stress they had been under. Sugawara had to admit that being distant might have stressed him out even more these past few weeks, therefore being so openly affectionate was truly calming. Especially because Daichi was keen on spoiling him rotten. Not that Suga was complaining! By now the couple was sitting on a bench near some kind of court - a volleyball court, Suga noticed upon closer inspection. The ash-blond thought that now was a good time to start the long due explanation. It simply felt right.

With his head on Daichi's shoulder, he started softly, "You know, I've been thinking quite a lot about my mother lately. Before you ask; it's not like I hate her or anything, but I hadn't expected to see any of them ever again. My – my brain pretty much sent me into shock that day because I feared that if she found me, then father would as well."

He paused his story to take a deep breath and felt Daichi tightening his arm around his waist just a little. It was his way of letting him know he was there for his beloved and encouraged him to continue whenever Suga was ready. In response said ash-blond leaned more into him before he continued.

"Mom was, for as long as I can remember, always at work somewhere and couldn't believe that her husband would lay a hand on their own son, no matter how much I tried to convince her. That… That monster always told her I was messing with other children; that I caused trouble which resulted in these bruises and cuts. I stopped begging her at some point - or rather, gave up because it never helped. Instead, I received even more beatings. More brutal ones too…"

Suga's voice got quieter towards the end to the point of fading into nothing and despite his greatest efforts, he couldn't hide the trembling in it. His fragile frame started shaking at the sheer amount of memories that kept coming back with every word said. Only when his partner laced his fingers together with Suga's ice cold ones he calmed down a little and searched for his soulmate's warmth out of instinct. And yet, his story wasn't finished.

So, he forced himself to continue. "Since she believed the crap father made up about me, I isolated myself when I was still a child. Her additional scolding was probably one of the factors fuelling these feelings of never being good enough. Worthless. A failure. To add to the depression. Which also nobody knew about so it was untreated for years. She only realized how wrong _everything_ was after I gave up entirely. On myself and life… Twice."

The last statement had Daichi whipping his head around to stare at his boyfriend. Had he heard correctly? He knew about his first attempt, so what was this about?

Seeing the worry and confusion shimmering in Daichi's warm eyes, the ash-blond confessed in nothing but a whisper, "Therapy wasn't helping at first because I was too hopeless, too empty. Had been for so long that I found no sense in living. One day, when I was allowed to go outside I tried to jump off the school. Tooru stopped me in time and that's also when he started helping me through my sessions, the panic attacks and everything. Sorry for keeping that from you, Dai…"

He hung his head in shame to avoid the other's gaze after confessing so many things at once. For a moment, an uncomfortable silence lingered in the air, with Daichi processing everything he just learned about, while Suga tried to not get overwhelmed by so many negative thoughts at once. Especially after the brunet let go of his lover's hands. However, his doubts were washed away the moment Suga was pulled into a bone crushing hug and got peppered with countless kisses. It was Daichi's way of reassuring him of the fact that he was here now, safe and sound and most importantly not alone.

"Thank you for sharing this with me, Koushi. For trusting me. I know that it must have bothered you for a while now, especially because you could finally settle down. With me. Please, believe me when I say that meeting your mother won't change a thing between us. I promise to stay by your side until you're sick of me because there is nobody more important to me than you." Daichi whispered while guiding their intertwined hands to rest on his heart. The warmth in his eyes proved just how sincere and in love he was, making Sugawara all warm on the inside.

To emphasize his interest in Suga's life – may it be his past or their future – he added, "I don't know if this helps you but I've done a little research after that incident. Your parents had gone through a divorce not long after you've been hospitalized. Your father went to jail after everything came to light, where he died in a fight or something. Kuroo helped me dig up some details, though I haven't told him anything but what's in the official police report. Though, he probably still has figured out what happened to you anyway… I hope you're not mad at me for not telling you earlier."

After Sugawara realized just how caring, invested and most certainly worried Daichi had been all the time, the tension left Suga's body entirely and he slumped down on the bench. A content sigh left his lips as he nestled some more into his lover's broad chest. He felt a lot lighter now that he had involved his soulmate into his personal mess. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his heart. Why he had waited and struggled alone for so long was a mystery to him, now that he thought about it.

 _Stupid anxiety! Maybe mom really wants to start over… Dai-Chan seems to know a little more, so maybe he'll help me? I'm not so sure if this will work out, but I at least wanna know what she had wanted to say back then. God, I hope this isn't going to backfire horribly…_


	35. Chapter 35: First attempts

**Chapter 35: First attempts**

"I - I can't do this Dai! I know I said I wanted this, but I changed my mind! This is way too hard for me!" Sugawara all but whined to his ever patient boyfriend, clinging in desperation to his arms.

Right now both men were sitting in front of Suga's laptop, facing his webcam. A situation which a _very_ disgruntled ash-blond tried to escape from with all his might. Not even his 'kicked-puppy-eyes' were helping him now – and these usually got him _everything_ he wanted from Daichi without much effort. This time the brunet had trapped him on his lap, determined to get him through their long planned video chat.

"The sooner we get started, the sooner it will be over and done. I'll be with you all the way and I'm sure that your mother won't be mad if it gets to you too much, to the point where you need to end the call," Daichi tried to reassure him, while rubbing circles into his back. It wasn't as successful as he had hoped, seeing how he was still fidgeting in his lap with that adorable pout of his. A dozen of kisses all across his face were needed until he felt reasonably calm enough to face his computer.

Ever since discussing the situation between Koushi and his mother, Daichi and Sugawara Yuki had been texting about the decision of Koushi to give her a second chance. The ash-blond didn't dare to message her himself directly, so he had asked his Dai-Chan if he could arrange something instead. With his conscience at least. After a little bit of planning ahead, they had found a date where it would work with either of their busy schedules. It was naturally that Daichi wouldn't miss out on such an important event. Just to be safe. However, it did take _a lot_ of persuasion to get Koushi to agree to an actual Skype conference in the first place. Although, he had enjoyed the increased attentiveness and the affection Daichi showered him with. In the end, it were logical facts for example that he could see her honest expression while they talked to convince him.

Now, Koushi took a deep breath as he reached out to press the call button on his screen. Was he ready? Definitely not. And yet he knew that he wouldn't ever be ready to confront her, so his only comfort was his soulmate's constant warmth and his ghosting touches. That didn't stop his trembling, though. Even if it pained Daichi to see his other half like that, he believed firmly that Koushi had to be the one to do this step on his own account, which is why he didn't move to guide the shaking hand if his lover. He was certain that this was the first step to overcome his own fear to create something new. It was the start of a change.

The ringing of the outgoing Skype call caused another wave of nervousness to wrack through Koushi's body and suddenly he felt sick to the stomach. Before his mind could wander to dangerous places, his mother's gentle expression appeared on the screen. He tensed immediately upon seeing her face and tried to make himself seem as small as possible in Daichi's arms. Said brunet simply tightened his embrace and started running his thumb over his boyfriend's arms - hidden from the webcam, however.

Yuki on the other side could see how much her baby boy paled at the sight of her and tried to give him a shaky smile. Her son's posture went rigid and the fear, clearly visible in his hazel eyes, weren't exactly unfamiliar to her. The knowledge that she was the one who put such a frightened expression on his face tore at her heartstrings almost unbearably and she, too, had to hold back a sob. She didn't catch on the quiet conversation on the other line, but continued to watch her son, worried she might set him off again by speaking up suddenly. It was almost weird how quiet it all felt around her now.

After what felt like an eternity, it was Koushi who spoke up first. "Hello. It... It has been a long time..."

His voice was soft and a little strained, but he was definitely making an effort to start a conversation somewhere. Although, he was seemingly self-conscious about his approach. What if he messed up? He didn't want her to hate him, too! How was he even supposed to act around someone he hadn't interacted with for literally half of his life? After noticing his struggles, Yuki decided to speak up as well. After all, she didn't want this to get any more awkward. Especially with all the time and effort that had been needed to get to this in the first place.

"Hey, baby... It has been, hasn't it? How have you been faring?"

Figuring that this topic was save enough, he replied quietly, "I've been fine, I guess. I've got great friends around me, work is fun and I've had some help in getting my life together. I - uhm - I'm sorry for freaking out the other day..."

Did he even have to apologize for suffering from panic attacks? He wasn't entirely sure about it, so he did it just in case, causing her to frown a little. Which, as unfortunate as it is, upset Koushi in return. He was squeezed just a little more by Daichi, who urged on the mother on screen with a discrete but firm shake of his head.

Her final response was softer than Koushi had ever heard her speak before and there wasn't the least bit of hesitation in her voice. "That's really good to know. You know, I've been really worried ever since you've had such an intense panic attack. You... You are still my little baby and seeing you suffer like that, I..." She paused her confession to take a deep breath while fighting against her quickly watering eyes. "I just want you to know that you've done nothing wrong. Never! It is me who has to beg for your forgiveness, even though I understand that I can never right the things your father did to you! And what I did, unconsciously... If - If I had known about this, I would have thrown him out immediately! It was so hard to accept that things hadn't been as bright as I thought they were after you were gone."

A sob interrupted her speech as she wiped aggressively at her eyes. She was so distracted by her own tears that she didn't realize that her son started to cry as well.

"When... When the police arrived and question this bastard, I was truly confused because why did they question him with such strange things? I didn't know where you were and then suddenly the door opened again and this friend of yours, Homura-Kun I believe, was there and everyone started yelling and then your father raised his fist against that boy and I'm not exactly sure what happened because it was just so much at once. Somehow, he must have stated how much he despised you and how you should just die, and it took me so much by surprise because that wasn't the man I had married! Your friend was so angry, screamed at him, the officers, me how he nearly got his wish fulfilled and that's when the severity of this whole mess got to me! You were gone suddenly, I wasn't allowed to even go near you and the only information that I received was that you were too unstable, to traumatized to even see me. Only when you tried to... to end your young life I was informed about the incident and it just hurt so much to know that I wasn't able to help you. I'm so, so terribly sorry, Koushi!"

It hadn't even been her intention to spill so much at once, but once she had started her feelings all but burst out. Yuki was crying by the end of her speech and Koushi, too, got overwhelmed by the emotions that swept over him all of a sudden. All these years he had believed that his mother didn't care about him at all. This proved him entirely wrong! The ash-blond male buried his face in his lover's chest to muffle his sobs, who himself was a little more touched than he had imagined. His watery eyes couldn't hide that. Yet, Daichi was happy to learn just how deeply Sugawara Yuki cared for her son's well-being and the pain he went through. He could tell that Koushi's view of things concerning her had changed abruptly after hearing her part of the story. Which was truly a blessing in itself. Never before had he seen her cry, so he went to apologize again. For worrying her, for making her sad now.

Truthfully, there wasn't a single thing that Koushi needed to apologize for, and yet he couldn't help but feel guilty. His insecurities were about to take the better of him, which made him even more sensitive in his current situation. Just what should he do now? So, he rambled on and on, spilled everything and more than he ever had before to her. Everything he had buried deep inside the darkest corners of his heart for all those years. The pain, fear, the hollow feeling had had buried for so long and his loneliness. Because she was _here now,_ and she was finally, finally listening to what he had to say. She was willing to listen nonetheless!

After both had exhausted themselves with their passionate outbursts, Koushi ended up slumped against Daichi's chest, ready for a nap, while Yuki rested her head on her forearms on the coffee table equally tired but relaxed. Even the silence was comforting in a way now and not awkward at all. She watched with adoration when Daichi bent down to kiss the crown of Koushi's head, definitely proud of his achievements today. What caught their attention next was the sound of a door opening and shuffling on Yuki's side. A smile crept onto her face, before her gaze wandered between her son and the other person in her room.

She started softly, "I'd like you to meet someone, if you're okay with that."

The ash-blond gave a single nod at that and straightened his posture a little. He even went as far as trying to fix his tousled hair! Emphasis on tried, though. As soon as he whispered softly "I'm ready," Yuki beckoned somebody to get closer. A gentle looking man with strikingly green eyes and baggy sportswear came into view only seconds afterwards. Once he had taken a look at the computer screen, he bowed to greet the young men, not caring at all that a few strands of his light-brown hair fell out of his messy ponytail and into his face. He sat down behind Yuki and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap at the same time. That, however, made her tense up a little, worried it might be too soon or too much for her fragile son.

But the look on Koushi's face was one of warmth, emphasized by that tiny smile of his. He was obviously a little cautious but at least attempted to give the other person a chance. Taking this opportunity, Yuki started, "This is Kazuo, my new partner and also my soulmate. He is the one who picked me up again after your _father_ had left me – my family in pieces. I… I hadn't expected to find my soulmate at all, seeing how I'm not the youngest anymore, but he means a lot to me."

Koushi nodded at her explanation and considered whether he should greet the stranger, however, Kazuo beat him to it. "So, you must be Koushi-Kun, am I right? Your mother has told me a lot about you and I'm happy that we could meet like this. Though, I'm even gladder that you two are talking to each other in the first place after, from what I heard, truly horrible experiences."

While Koushi had been certain about him being the new life partner of his mother, it took him by surprise that they were even soulmates. He was happy for her, happy that she had been able to move on from their traumatic past and it filled him with joy knowing that he and his well-being had never once left his mother's mind. This Kazuo-Guy seemed to be a nice guy as well, much to Koushi's relief. Although, he couldn't tell if he was being careful around the ash-blond because he knew about his anxiety or if it was just the type of person he was.

After Koushi realized he had been rudely staring at them without saying a word, he cleared his throat and tried to cover up his rising blush. Still slightly horse, he answered politely, "Hello… I'm Sugawara Koushi. It's nice to meet you." A moment of consideration later he added, "And this is my soulmate, Sawamura Daichi. It's mostly thanks to him that I found the courage to get in contact again." A hint of hesitation flashed in his hazel eyes at the mention of this particular piece of information. There was no way he could tell how Kazuo-San would react towards same-sex-soulmates! Those fears, however, turned out to be completely unnecessary – Kazuo greeted Daichi just the same and his expression didn't falter even the slightest bit.

In the short conversation they had, Koushi and his boyfriend learned that Kazuo was a coach in a volleyball club for children, he liked to cook and bake and enjoyed hiking whenever he had some free time. He met Yuki one afternoon in a mall where she was obviously struggling with her car and he had offered his assistance. Somehow, they kept meeting on pure coincidence and had started talking to each other at some point, which lead from one thing to another until they became a couple. It was actually pretty interesting that both Sugawaras had found their fated partner in times of need if you'd ask for Daichi's opinion, but he kept it to himself, seeing how his love wasn't ready to spill much about his own life, yet. It was understandable. After all, just deciding to make that phone call had been torture in itself for the apprehensive ash-blond. Daichi, however, was proud of his boyfriend anyway. It was just the first step out of who knows how many, but he was confident, that this would help his boyfriend to let go of his past.


	36. Chapter 36: Foreboding signs

_This could be some kind of filler chapter, I guess. Didn't want to jump immediately at what I have planned out so this sort of has the purpose of leading "gently" into some angsty stuff.  
_ _Enjoy!  
_ _And I want to thank you for reading my story until this point - this story really means a lot to me and it's fun for me as well!_

* * *

 **Chapter 36: Foreboding signs**

In approximately four months after the first real conversation between Suga and his mother, the two of them had grown considerably closer. Even if it had taken a few attempts until an actual meeting had even been a possibility. It was due to the love and support of his dear friends and his beloved boyfriend that it all worked out in the end. Since there had been just no way that they could have simply ignored the metaphorical elephant in the room - meaning their disastrous past - Suga had been willing to accept Oikawa's advice of undergoing some kind of family therapy. Maybe it was also because he was already familiar with therapy sessions that he didn't argue that much against it. Even Daichi and Kazuo-San took part in some of their sessions, seeing how they were part of the family. By now, the mother-son-duo had reached a stable point where they were talking on a regular schedule on set dates with fix times. The same principle applied to their meetings as well. Which led to the one right now.

The ash-blond was on his lunch break and hurrying towards a small café to meet up with Yuki. Seeing how he ran a little later than usual, she was already seated in a quiet corner near the windows, cheerfully waving as soon as she spotted her son. Her cheer, however, vanished from her face as soon as she noticed just how _exhausted_ her boy looked. He didn't even look at her when he sat down and mumbled a quiet greeting! It was easy to tell that he hadn't had a decent amount of sleep for a while – these dark, already bruising shadows under his eyes couldn't lie and his nervous fidgeting proved to be just another sign of his exhaustion, overworking and what not.

"Dear, are you alright? You're looking like you're about to collapse on me!" the young woman cried out, causing Suga to flinch at the volume. Yuki quieted down immediately, seeing how he rubbed his forehead in addition. It was a fact that they hadn't been able to meet up for some time now since he had been terribly busy with his job, but she hadn't expected that it tired him out to the point of affecting his health. A mumbled excuse was all she got in response, which deepened the frown on her face further. They spent the next few minutes in silence, only interrupted by a waiter who took their orders.

After their drinks arrived, Suga took a sip from his herbal tea, which helped him relax a little and he slumped down against his chair. He was definitely in a bad shape, could barely keep his eyes open and his pale complexion really unsettled his mother. To add to her worries, she also noticed that he didn't seem to be all that happy in general either, besides the obvious health issues and she was sure as hell to get to the bottom of it all. Therefore, Yuki took his hand on top of the table and gave it a little squeeze, instead of barreling him with questions. She knew all too well by now that she shouldn't pressure her son into talking, simply because he would open up as soon as he was ready for it. Mother and son ate in silence for a while, occasionally exchanging a few glances and smiles, before Suga gave in to her unasked questions.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, mom... I just - it's just been so hard recently! I've been terribly busy with my job because Tooru is on maternity leave because he is due in a few weeks, Morisuke is abroad, travelling with his partner and now we're completely shorthanded, 'cause we've got a few more children to take care of and it's only Ya-Chan, Shou and me! I haven't had a proper night's rest for who knows how long… On top of that I barely get to see Dai-Chan at home, since he's busy with a huge case lately, meaning he comes home when I'm already in bed and he sleeps when I have to get up again! I barely have time to prepare food and I'm always so tired and lonely and…"

His words trailed off at the end as he let it out all at once until he was out of breath from his rambling. Being able to sense his discomfort, Yuki scooted closer to the seat right next to him and opened her arms with the offer of a hug. Suga took that invitation up without hesitation and snuggled as close as humanly possible into her warm embrace. That alone was an achievement that really filled her with pride and joy. Especially because it was unmistakably a proof of his trust in her.

Though, if Yuki were completely honest, she adored his affectionate and touch-seeking side. Not to mention that she had to make up for all those years of isolation and distance her baby had to suffer through. After all, she never got to be this close to him for the majority of his life. Following her urge to baby him, she started drawing circles onto his back while she rocked him softly from side to side. The action made him so comfortable that his eyelids began dropping at some point until he fell asleep entirely in her arms. It was absolutely adorable and yet it also proved just how exhausted he had to be. Yuki didn't dare to move, afraid to disturb his slumber, so she continued caressing (and cuddling) him until his lunch break was over. Waking him proved to be a bit of a challenge, though, seeing how he completely refused to move from his comfortable spot. As much as she wanted for him to sleep some more, she also didn't want to get him into trouble for being late at work. Once she finally succeeded, Suga came to the sudden realization of what he had done _in public just now._

After his most likely fifth apology on their way back to the kindergarten, Yuki chimed in softly, "Really, it's fine. I'm actually glad that you were able to nap a little. If it would help you, I could help you guys at home a little. Maybe cook for you, take care of the shopping or do your laundry. At least until this difficult situation calms down again. But it's completely fine if you don't want me to! I – I don't want to impose on you or Sawamura-Kun."

Her offer took him a little by surprise as he hadn't expected anything like that at all. Usually, she held back in her interactions with him, so that she wouldn't crowd him on accident. She didn't want to scare him off again. Yet, seeing how much he struggled currently, her motherly instincts tingled on a new level. Suga, however, was delighted. His mother, whom he had hidden from for almost ten years, was willing to help him get through these stressful times! Even with such direct actions! Yet he remembered that he needed to discuss the matter with his Daichi before he could invite her over, so he forced his excitement down a notch for now.

The two had to part ways a few minutes later, but not without promising to meet up and address the suggestion on another day soon. Yuki hoped that the issue would solve itself in the meantime. Though, it was undeniably stressful for Suga, it couldn't get worse now, could it?

A couple of days later, his mother had to come to the insight that she had been _way too hopeful_. Yuki was waiting at their usual meeting point when a call interrupted the quiet of the cafe. Suga's ID showed up on the display, which sent a feeling of dread through her. What if something was wrong? Once she took the call, an unfamiliar but pleasant voice greeted her.

"Hello Sugawara-San, this is Hinata Shouyou, from the OiWa-Kindergarten speaking. I'm calling to inform you that Suga-Kun can't make it to your meeting today." The caller paused for a moment until he continued. "I've gotta be honest with you, Madame: He collapsed just now, from what I can assume must be extreme exhaustion. Would you mind coming over? Daichi-San isn't picking up the phone and I think he would appreciate you being here once he comes to."

Her face fell as the severity of the situation at hand sunk in and she found herself speed-walking to her son's workplace the moment reality hit her. Hinata, on the other line, tried his utmost to keep her from freaking out too much, even if that didn't work too well. The ginger himself found the situation pretty ironic, considering all things. After all, he was calling a mother about her sick child. Only that this _child_ was one of his colleagues working at the kindergarten.

Yuki made it there in record time in the end. Fortunately, Hinata was already waiting at the entrance by the time she arrived and escorted the worried mother to the break room. The view her baby boy presented scared her thoroughly: Suga looked absolutely dead on his feet, with tousled hair and his skin was ghostly pale. At least someone had carried him to the bed in the break room, which was placed there for naps and emergencies like the one at hand. Yuki sat down by his side and brushed some sweaty strands of hair out of his face, checking his temperature with her hand while doing so. She scrunched up her nose in distaste once she noticed just how _hot_ his forehead was. As responsible as Hinata had grown to be, rushed to her side only moments later with a bowl of fresh, cold water and a towel.

"I'm sorry for calling you on such short notice, but Suga had told me about your meeting today and I could tell the moment he stepped into the kindergarten that he was at his limit. Didn't think he would collapse on me, though. We had tried to get him to rest, skip a day or two in favour of his health, but he just wouldn't listen to any of us!" Hinata explained to her in a soft voice, so he wouldn't wake his poor friend. Luckily, they weren't too busy that day and most kids were napping by now. That allowed Hinata to look after his obviously sick friend, while his other colleague, Yachi Hitoka, watched over the group of children.

Yuki whispered, "I know that he just wants to help out because you're short on people, but is that really all there is to it? I've noticed that something seemed a little off about him when we met up a few days ago and I don't just mean his deteriorating health."

Now that she had questioned Suga's behaviour, Hinata realized that his colleague had indeed acted differently for a while now. Had something happened to him, he kept quiet about? Whatever it was that bothered him, it had added unnecessary stress to the already stressed out male. Which was probably why he worked himself into the ground until he collapsed.

After a moment of thinking it over, Hinata voiced his impression, "Well, he hadn't explicitly said anything, but he got really distracted at times and kept glancing at his phone from time to time. Maybe it has something to do with Daichi? Both had been overly busy with work after all for some time now."

Yuki took in what the ginger in front of her thought about the situation and nodded in agreement. It seemed highly possible that the forced distance between Suga and Daichi due to their unfortunate work schedules strained their relationship a little. And Suga's deeply buried anxiety certainly didn't help him in that situation. Now that Hinata had mentioned it, Yuki remembered how her son had whined about barely seeing his lover, missing him and their closeness. She could only imagine how much it pained him to be separated from his soulmate for a longer time. Much to her disdain, there wasn't anything she could do about it.

While the mother contemplated whether there was anything she could do to support Suga without meddling too much, said male slowly regained his consciousness. He was obviously confused as to where he was and how he even got here. With a slightly hoarse voice he asked, "What - What happened? I can't really remember what I was doing..."

"You collapsed on us! Yachi and I put you to bed in our break room. I had tried to call Daichi, but he didn't answer his phone, so I contacted your mother instead. Figured you might need some company and someone who can take you home in a bit." Hinata answered him, relieved that he woke up so soon.

Suga gave a single nod in response, just so they knew he had heard them. Though, he didn't like at all how his friend had implied that he wasn't allowed to stay here. He _needed_ to work! Otherwise, he would be in _their_ flat all alone and that was something he came to despise after falling so deeply in love with his Dai-Chan. It's ironic, seeing how he didn't mind living alone before meeting his soulmate. His discontent didn't go unnoticed by the other two and Yuki asked with worry evident in her voice, "Please tell us what's wrong, dear! I can't stand it to see you all miserable! You already got yourself sick with all of the stress you're under, so please don't feel like you can't talk about whatever has been bothering you."

Hinata took a hold of his hands and added softly, "Is everything alright between you and Daichi? You're usually not as distracted as you have been these past few days and we're all worried about you."

Hearing that filled the ash-blond to a certain degree with guilt. He hadn't meant to concern his friends and family! Even if he himself hadn't noticed just how bad it had gotten over the weeks, which in hindsight was an alarming issue. In the end, he caved in. Maybe it was because of his mother's gentle touches or Hinata's honest, warm smile that he opened up a little more.

Softly he confessed, "It's not like we argued or anything. It's just… His job is taking up so much of our time lately and he is in a really grumpy mood as well on some days, because he has reached some kind of impasse with his case. Iwaizumi is also taking a break to spend his time with Tooru, helping him at this stage of pregnancy 'n stuff, so Dai is working only with Kuroo-San. Because of that, I've been more often alone at home and it's getting so lonely! I have been feeling worse each day these past weeks with all the stress, I admit that, but work helps keeping my mind off of this stupid loneliness! It's stupid that I am so in love with him that his absence hurts at times... I used to live alone just fine, balancing work, friends and the few therapy sessions I had but now it seems like I can't function properly without someone next to me!"

He raised his voice at the end of his outburst, getting all emotional just thinking about missing his soulmate. Somehow, he had expected to get laughed at for something stupid as that, so he startled a little when two pairs of arms enveloped him in a tight hug.

Yuki announced, filled with determination and confidence, "Okay, I've decided! I'm going to stay with you until you're feeling better or until Sawamura-Kun isn't as busy as he is now! I know you like your freedom, so I'm not going to stay overnight. Are you okay with that, dear?"

Before he could give a reply, Hinata threw in a comment of his own. "We could hang out after work if you'd like some company. Maybe visit Oikawa, go to coffee shops or shopping or we could invite other friends if you're more for a lively outing! What do you say?"

For a moment, he just sat there, absorbing what those two had offered him. A silence that worried them because what if they overstepped his boundaries? This fear only worsened when the ashen-haired male starting shaking between them. Finally, panic erupted in them the moment they heard him sobbing in their embrace, causing both of them to stare at each other, before tightening their arms around Suga's slim body.

After a few minutes of crying, Suga decided to relieve them from their tension and whispered, "Thank you so much for looking out for me! To be honest, I just didn't dare to burden any of you with such a stupid issue… You've got enough on your plates already, so I didn't want to impose on you. Just because I'm feeling lonely without Dai-Chan… I would... I think I would appreciate you stopping by every now and then for a little while and going out sounds better than sulking at home on my own."

Such a positive reply was enough to calm his worried companions for now. It was obvious that Yuki and Hinata would look out even more for him in the near future, especially since neither of them wanted him to collapse once more. If worse comes to worse, they were even prepared to give Daichi a heart-to-heart-talk. And it didn't matter _at all_ that he himself couldn't help his own stressful situation with work and all. Sugawara Koushi was important and absolutely nobody had a right to make him feel any less. After all, Sawamura Daichi wasn't the only one with a soft spot for the sensitive ash-blond.


	37. Chapter 37: Overstepping Boundaries

_Writing this chapter took so god damn long.  
_ _I feel like I stared more at the screen in frustration than actually gotting some writing done..._  
 _If you find any grammatical mistakes, pls tell me (it's really late by the time this is up)._  
 _You also might notice that I've got no clueof how to handle people while reading this chapter..._

* * *

 **Chapter 37: Overstepping boundaries #1**

Despite Yuki's constant demands if Suga would really be okay with being alone this night, said male had managed to send her off after she dropped him off at home. He knew that she was simply looking out for him, but right now, he just wanted to lay down and rest a bit. Rest sounded really good right now, considering how shitty he felt. It was a miracle that he even made it this far before collapsing! Now that he finally settled down on the sofa, he began to notice just how unwell he truly was. A little too late if he were honest with himself. As soon as he lay down, his eyelids began drooping almost immediately and he drifted off to sleep. In the end, Suga slept for a few hours – until the slamming of the door woke him rather suddenly. The noise made him jump from his seat. Which was a decision he regretted the moment he sat upright. A groan left his mouth as he grabbed his pounding head and he needed to get his bearings before he got up to investigate the source of the noise.

In the hallway, the ash-blond came face to face with his beloved, who was obviously _very aggravated_ , if his sour face was anything to go by. Suga inched closer in an attempt to welcome him with a little peck, but found himself getting pushed away before he could even reach his boyfriend. Daichi grumbled, "Hey babe... Got anything for dinner ready? 'm starving."

The ash-blond was clearly disappointed for getting rejected, but tried his best not to show that. He didn't want to upset the other even further by being clingy now.  
Instead, he confessed, "To be honest, I was asleep until now, so I haven't prepared anything…" At seeing the darkened expression on his lover's face, he added quickly, "But mom brought something over earlier, so I'll just whip something up real quick! Take a shower and try to relax a little. You deserve some rest!"

Daichi simply huffed in response and went on his ways, while a disgruntled Suga shuffled towards the kitchen. Now he was glad that his mother had insisted on doing some shopping and storing a bunch of fresh ingredients for quick but healthy meals. Although, his sense of taste - or rather the lack of - it proved to be quite the problem, seeing how he couldn't properly… well, taste. Not to mention that he still wasn't feeling well and had to fight to keep his eyes open a little longer. Nevertheless, he prepared a pot of stew for the two of them, hoping it was at least somewhat edible. Daichi was already seated in the living room, staring angrily into space. After a mumbled "Thank you." Daichi began shovelling his food into his mouth, though he stopped eating not much later, seemingly dissatisfied with what he was served.

There wasn't much Suga could do now, so he continued eating his own meal in silence, while his partner turned his attention to the TV. A decision that didn't help improving his sour mood at all, seeing how his case and their lack of progress was all over the news again. Before the ash-blond could even attempt to soothe his boyfriend, said male jumped from his seat, turned off the TV and threw the remote through the entire room in a fit of anger, smashing it in the process. Despite being startled by such a violent outburst, he rushed to his side and took Daichi's shaking fists into his own hands.

Daichi, however, growled lowly, "Don't even think about commenting on this bullshit as well! I've been listening to other people's _encouraging_ words far too many times recently and I'm getting sick of it!"

Sugawara ignored his biting remark and pulled him in a soft embrace, hoping it would somehow convey support. He wasn't really trained to handle pissed off, aggressive adults and he always felt at a loss whenever one of his friends got involved in heated arguments – which even turned physical from time to time if it was really serious. After all, his therapy had been about _avoiding_ such situations. Thus, seeing his lover so incredibly angry and annoyed at _everything_ made him pretty uncomfortable. How could he be anything else, when it was bad enough that said male had just smashed something in his rage?

To make matters worse Daichi didn't even return the embrace like he normally did - it was a half-hearted move rather than anything loving or gentle. It even felt kind of _forced_ if Suga were to be asked. His following attempts of calming his furious partner didn't really work out at all. Not that the ash-blond knew exactly what he was doing between throwing out reassuring phrases, caressing him with awkward pats and touches and desperate invitations for a hug or cuddles for the next few minutes.

Usually, the brunet calmed down with time with the help of Suga's affectionate gestures. This time, however, his coddling wasn't doing anything good. Something the ash-blond had to learn the hard way. Being fed up with the whole situation, Daichi shoved his partner away with way more force than necessary, putting distance between them for the second time since his return. Unfortunately, Suga hadn't had the ability to regain his balance in time due to his current ailment and a yelp escaped the weakened ash-blond as he tumbled down onto the sofa.

As soon as he got his bearings back from that bout of dizziness, he exclaimed loudly, "What the hell, Daichi?! I only wanted to help you! On top of that, we've barely seen each other these days and I simply miss spending time with you! It's not my fault that you're not making any progress at work!"

Apparently, his choice of words was another mistake made by him, seeing how Daichi's expression darkened and a glare was directed at his lover. With clenched fists the brunet, snarled at him, "Oh, I don't want to deal with your stupid whining now! Sorry, I wasn't putting enough _effort_ into my work! As if you would ever get how tiresome and difficult my type of work is, since you're playing around with kids all day long!"

Suga _knew_ that it wasn't wise to argue back now and yet he wasn't about to let Daichi talk him down like that. Especially after all of these stressful weeks he himself had to endure! Thus, he shot back with just as much irritation.  
"And you honestly believe that this doesn't get stressing? You _know_ how hard it can be raising a child! Do I have to remind you that I am taking care of a whole bunch of them while also being short on two people?!"

He only realized that he might have overstepped his boundaries after those words left his mouth. Not that he could change that now. Such an insensitive statement was enough to get the usually calm brunet's blood up in an instant – which resulted in another enraged outburst.

"How dare you bring up this topic! Don't you see that I'm trying with all my might to get this case over?! What the hell is wrong with you! I really don't want to deal with this kind of crap now!"

Sugawara, however, couldn't drop the issue just like that. They were having problems and he sure as hell wouldn't run away from a confrontation. After all, talking was supposed to solve all struggles, right? Right now, shouldn't be any different, should it? And so, he argued back, in the hope to calm the situation. It proved to be futile, seeing how it escalated quicker than he could understand and it grew more heated by the minute. Until they were full out yelling at each other, throwing every little thing at each other that had built up at some point.

Everything came to a sudden halt the moment a slap resonated throughout the room. Time seemed to stop as Daichi's hand lingered in the air and only the stinging in his cheek reminded Suga of what had just happened. An intense wave of panic erupted deep within the ash-blond as he backed away in haste, with his eyes opened wide. Daichi himself was just as startled by his own action. How could he hurt his beloved boyfriend like that?! He never wanted to do this to him! So, he inched closer, with both his hands raised in front of him, to show that he had no intention of hitting the other a second time. Doing it once was a huge mistake after all. Suga's reaction, though, came immediately and not in a way Daichi had ever wanted to witness.

"Get… Get away from me! Don't _touch_ me! Please, I'm sorry!" he stuttered with a barely audible voice, obviously terrified.

"Forgive me, Kou! I did not mean to do this, I swear! Let… Let me help you." Daichi responded frantically, guilt written all over his face. Unfortunately, Sugawara was in no place to notice this now, thus he shoved the approaching male away, scrambling towards the door in sheer panic.

With a shaking voice he shouted, "Leave me alone! I – I don't want to see you anymore!"  
With that, he left, locking himself in his unoccupied room. With no intention of facing his boyfriend anytime soon. Moreover, he realized that he needed to calm down. He had to! Working himself into a full blown panic attack due to Daichi was simply something he couldn't allow to happen. It wasn't right!  
And yet, as soon as he was left alone, everything came crashing down on him at once. Just why did they have to argue in the first place? Should he have left Daichi alone? Should he have reacted differently? Was it… his fault? After all, his comments had been really insensitive, now that he really thought about it… How could he let things get so much out of his control? How… How could Daichi hit him? Was his past about to repeat itself? That couldn't be it, after all, Daichi wasn't like that! Right?

As more and more doubts began rising up, his tears increased with them, until he was full out sobbing. The ash-blond curled into himself on his bed, trying to make himself as small as possible. He lay there until he hadn't any tears left to cry, though it was no reason for him to move out of his little cocoon. What was the point in there anyway? Only his need to visit the bathroom was enough to convince him to get up in the end. After relieving his bladder, Suga decided to take a bath, hoping it would help his exhaustion, the sickness harbouring his body and this emotional mess inside of him. Not his smartest idea if he had considered beforehand, just how dizzy the hot water would make him feel after a while. Thus, he ended up sitting in front of the bathtub with his head between his knees in order to get this lightheadedness under control. Under normal conditions, he would have asked Daichi for help, who would have complied with utmost urgency, but as of now that wasn't an option.

Once he had regained his balance, he changed back into comfortable clothing – a too wide stolen sweater from his boyfriend and a pair of loose sweat pants. The view he provided in the mirror, though, was still anything but healthy. His silver hair was all tousled, his face was ashen and his eyes were all puffy and red from crying. Seeing himself like that was enough to bring him to tears once more - It reminded him all the more just how weak he was. It reminded him that the entire situation he found himself in was completely his own fault as well.

In a sudden outburst of frustration, he slammed his fist into the mirror, smashing it into countless pieces in the progress. A move he regretted the moment sharp pain pulsated throughout his entire hand, making him hiss at his own stupidity. After a few seconds passed, Suga sat down on the edge of the tub to examine his freshly bruised hand. Unfortunately, a few pieces of glass were stuck and removing them resulted not only in more cuts, but also him wincing in pain. And still, looking at his blood running down his wrist was oddly calming at this time. _Oh no…_ It was a feeling all too familiar, a feeling he thought he had long forgotten. For just a moment, the ash-blond found himself fascinated by the sight of the red liquid and the pain emanating from the shallow cut. It distracted him from his own misery. Something he had never wanted to feel again, seeing how it was one of the main reason why he had been in therapy for so long. Who could have guessed that one simple argument could have such a huge impact on his finally stabile life? Before he could stop himself, one of those shards was already in his uninjured hand, tracing soft lines on his currently bloody wrist.  
Softly, he whispered, "I know I shouldn't do this, but…" Memories of his beloved filled his mind, memories he recalled in order to stop himself from getting any more self-destructive. Yet it was in all for nothing the moment he remembered Daichi's angered expression, his raised voice and the palm connecting with his face.

 _Old habits die hard, huh?_


	38. Chapter 38: Downfall

**Chapter 38: Downfall**

Sleep didn't come easy for the ash-blond after things got out of control the day before. He was thoroughly confused as to why he woke up in a room he hadn't used in a long time and with no sight of his beloved boyfriend. Or any traces that someone had lain with him at all. When was the last time he had to sleep without Daichi by his side? A little disoriented, Suga stretched his sore limps, but stopped in his movement when a sudden stabbing pain inflamed in his right arm. His eyes wandered down to the source of the burning sensation, only to discover a bunch of bandages covering his wrist. Suga cringed in distaste once he noticed how it bled through in a few places – luckily nothing major. It served as a perfect reminder to what happened the night before and his expression fell even further once he realized that he was all alone. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, he got out of bed and started on his usual morning routine. Except that he had now much more time than any other day since he was not allowed to show his face at work for the time being.

Therefore, he decided to spoil himself a little – even if it was only to distract himself from this growing heaviness inside his chest. He avoided taking a bath, though. After all, he didn't want to repeat nearly falling out of the tub from dizziness like last night. A long shower with his favourite body wash had to be enough to relax his aching muscles and wash the blood stains still covering his wrist. These mirror shards had truly messed with him, more than he would like to confess. Since he couldn't leave all these cuts out in the open like that, he wrapped clean bandages around the offended limp – something he had become too familiar with over these past few years.

Feeling quite hungry, he reheated yesterday's dinner, but not before adding a few more spices. On his journey through the house, he noticed that Daichi had left without a word or notice or anything. Well, Suga had slept in, so it wasn't unusual that the other was already out. Following his warm breakfast, he wandered back into their shared bedroom to grab some fresh and comfortable clothes. Once he opened their closet, though, something entirely different caught his eye. The duffle bag Daichi owned was gone! Along with a bunch of clothes, which would surely last for a couple days! Shock settled deep within him and for a moment he could do nothing but stare at the sudden emptiness in _their_ closet.

 _He left. He left me… It's over… Have I ruined everything? Again? I – I can't lose him! Not him! This can't be happening! Oh god… There must be a reason for this, right? But he disappeared without any sort of note, and he never does that… Has he grown sick of this mess I am? Am I really not meant to be happy? No… No, no, no, no, no!_

Despair grew in him and more and more tears began streaming down his cheeks. His knees buckled underneath him as heart-wrenching sobs wrecked his tender frame. He was breaking apart and he was all alone. Not even in his darkest times at what used to be his _home_ had he felt so utterly devastated. What was he supposed to do now? Maybe it was just a misunderstanding! Maybe he simply needed a change of clothes for his investigations! That must be it, right? Daichi wouldn't just abandon him, right? He had promised him, after all! As soon as he had calmed down a little, he decided to wait for his love's return in the evening to apologise for yesterday's argument. Everything would work out.

Nothing was alright by the time night rolled in. There was still no sight of his boyfriend and it was already way beyond his latest work time. If Suga had somehow managed to keep his sanity despite his overall situation, he was surely losing this battle now. No messages indicated that something was amiss and none if his own texts had been answered despite that they had been read at some point. Between pacing through the flat, desperate to keep himself busy so that his mind wouldn't mess more with him than it already had, and a few naps to cure his sickness there was not much he could do but wait. He definitely didn't glance at his phone every few minutes to check for new texts. Definitely not. Still, he nearly sprinted towards his phone the moment his ringtone indicated an incoming message.

 _[Dai-Chan 3]: "Won't be coming home for the time being. Cool off while I'm away. Maybe the distance will help the both of us. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday."_

Suga stared at his phone display in disappointment and sunk down into the sofa. Re-reading the message didn't help in lifting his mood - instead, the more he analysed what Daichi had written, the more hopeless he felt. Daichi wanted to take a break, wanted to use this situation to get away from him for an undefined amount of time. Meaning that Sugawara got no chance to apologize for his previous behaviour. No chance to make up with the most important person in his life. A feeling of emptiness spread in him, something he hadn't felt for a long time now. He could only hope that his _soulmate_ wouldn't give up on him.

The following days went by in a monotonous manner for the ash-blond. He pretty much functioned on auto-pilot without being too conscious of his surroundings. Since he still couldn't do much due to his unstable health, he spent most of his unwelcome free time in bed, only to get up for food and to visit the bathroom. On top of that, he neglected his antidepressants, due to his lack of motivation for any kind of activity which is why he felt even more pathetic. There were no new messages from Daichi and Suga couldn't bring himself to contact the other first. Even if it hurt like hell. In an emotional sense. However, he didn't want to annoy him any further, even if it meant that he had to suffer. After all, it's not like he wasn't familiar with being left alone.

By the time that the one week mark was crossed, Sugawara couldn't stay in this empty house any longer. He desperately _graved_ the presence of another person, so he decided to check on his pregnant best friend. Said brunet seemed to have caught on the urgency of his request immediately, if the way his voice rose an octave higher in concern was anything to go by. That's how Suga found himself in front of Oikawa's home, only an hour after his unexpected call. The brunet opened the door only seconds after the doorbell rang – Tooru had obviously hurried to get to the door despite the far progression of his pregnancy. Something that warmed Suga's aching heart immensely, considering his current state of mind. Smiling had become hard these last few days, yet he tried to keep up a cheerful façade, so that his best friend wouldn't worry about him.

"There you are, Kou-Chan! It's been way too long since we've met up! Come in, come in!"

Tooru urged him on with a genuine, bright smile and pulled him in a bone-crushing hug the second he entered his and Hajime's flat. Suga was dragged towards the living room after his muttered greeting, where he got surprised by the sight of what he could only describe as a huge pillow fort. He didn't even get a chance to get a word or two in when his brunet friend pulled him into said fort, immediately cuddling into the ash-blond. Despite being a little overwhelmed by this onslaught of affection, it was calming to Suga.

After some silent cuddling, Tooru asked softly, "So, what happened? Shou-Chan told me that you overworked yourself to the point of collapsing - which I don't approve at all, mind me. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're looking terrible."

His fingers wandered across Koushi's bandaged wrist, bandages that reached his elbows by now, even if that was covered by his sweater. Suga flinched once his friend touched a particularly sensitive spot, causing Tooru to whine in distress.

"What have you done? Just what had happened to you for you to get so bad again? You could have talked to me! How - How long has that been going on?" Tooru all but begged, while cradling the other in his arms.

It got harder by the minute to keep up this mask of faked cheerfulness, especially with the way those widened chocolate-brown eyes kept gazing into his own. Suga's resolve broke eventually, resulting in him breaking down in Tooru's arms. Considering the fact that he usually tried to hide his insecurities it was a shock for the brunet that his ashen-haired friend was actively seeking refuge.

"I'm sorry… That I broke our promise… I didn't mean to hurt myself, but I was just so frustrated that I smashed a mirror and I was bleeding and hurting and it brought up these feelings and then I couldn't really stop myself anymore… I just – I didn't know what to do! Dai and I were fighting over something stupid, but it got really bad and then he hit me and I hid away in my room afterwards! I wanted to apologize the day after but Dai never got home and he hasn't since then. I've fucked up for good and now he doesn't want to see me anymore, nor talk to me… I – I've ruined everything!"

Tooru didn't have to know how bad his self-destructive behaviour had gotten again for now – at least the ash-blond couldn't bear to confess all of that at the moment as well. Opening up was hard enough as it was. However, Suga was full out sobbing by the end of his broken confession and it tore at Tooru's heartstrings more than anything. His pregnancy alone made him overly emotional at times and seeing his dearest friend so utterly devastated brought him to tears as well. The sound of two crying males alarmed Hajime, who was currently in the kitchen preparing some food for his partner and their unexpected guest. Iwaizumi rushed into the living room as soon as he heard the crying. It worried him to see the both of them in such a miserable state, but something told him that his fiancé had been triggered by Suga's crying. And that alone was worrisome, since he, too, was familiar with his backstory. So, he did what he thought was the best for now: he enclosed both of them in a hug. Something that worked for his pregnant mate, would surely work on his depressed friend as well. And it did, luckily. Even if it took a few minutes for both to calm down. Once Suga stopped bawling, he whispered a soft "Thank you," and buried himself some more in the mountain of blankets and pillows. Iwaizumi exchanged glances with his partner, clearly asking for a chance to talk in private. Fortunately, they knew each other inside out, so the brunet caught on immediately and excused himself for a moment to grab a bite and some tea for them.

Back in the kitchen, Iwaizumi asked quietly, "Do you know what's going on? Daichi hasn't told me anything but he seemed to be bothered by something for a while now. Seeing his partner in such a poor state is worrisome the least."

Oikawa leaned against the counter and exclaimed, completely agitated, "It's been years since I've last seen him like that. He even went back to hurting himself! Though he is trying to hide that fact. But I _know_ him; I've seen the signs, not to mention his bandaged hand! And it's all because of a stupid argument that escalated way too much between him and Sawa-Chan!"

The brunet tried to keep his voice low – he didn't want to set off his friend once more – but considering how his emotions were all over the place due to his wild hormones that wasn't an easy task. The brunet was already getting irritated at even the most trivial things and this situation didn't help in the slightest. If anything, it made him sourer than he had felt throughout the entire pregnancy. Tooru was pissed beyond believe and his anger was mostly aimed at Sawamura Daichi for causing his dearest friend to relapse into old behaviour patterns. Seeing Suga at his lowest once again tormented the brunet just as much. After all, the ash-blond hadn't slipped into heavy depressive episodes in ages. Not counting his panic attacks, though. Not since Tooru took it on himself to watch over him. Where all these therapy sessions for naught?

Tooru had been convinced that Sugawara would never return to the broken boy from his youth. Therefore, watching him fall apart like that was a huge shock for him. His Hajime couldn't bear watching his distressed soulmate shaking like he did, so he wrapped him in his arms in an attempt to soothe him at least a little. It did nothing to remove the brunet's uncharacteristic scowl this time. The gesture was appreciated either way as said brunet leaned into the touch of his lover.

"I know this is hard for you, especially because he is your best friend, but please calm down! Yeah, this is a shitty situation, something that could have been avoided. The only thing we can do is to be there for him now. Make sure he doesn't do something he'll regret later. I'll talk to Daichi next time I see him, okay?"

Those words were little relief, considering how Suga had already crumbled to pieces without anyone knowing, but Hajime was right. Even his stubborn fiancé had to accept that – that awful reality. As soon as Tooru had calmed down, he grabbed some snacks and the tea he had prepared before his buddy came over. Even if there wasn't much he could do right now, he could still provide comfort, hugs and words of cheer to get Suga's mind out of that dark place he got himself into.


	39. Chapter 39: Breakdown

_AN: Writing this chapter was such a mess. I've rewritten it like three time and edited things in and out to get to this outcome._  
 _It's boyfriend approved so I'm okay with it^^  
_ _But feel free to tell me if there are any mistakes left - I read it so often that I might have overlooked something.  
_

* * *

 **# Chapter 39: Breakdown**

The days following his breakdown in Oikawa's residence went by in the blink of an eye. Suga's sense of time was pretty messed up, so he wouldn't even notice when another week went by without Daichi. Which wasn't a particularly bad thing, considering how quickly the ash-blond managed to pull his thoughts into quite a dangerous area. Luckily, Sugawara used this time to heal as well and he rested enough that his sickness faded away. He didn't look particularly better if he had to be honest with himself, but at least he regained a healthy complexion. Healthy enough to be not on the edge of collapsing again at least. Meaning he was also allowed to go back to work - much to his fortune, since it proved to be the perfect distraction from this growing feeling of emptiness inside his chest. Even if all that work didn't keep away his nightmares once he settled down at night. That is why he _fixed_ those sleeping problems with the help of sleeping pills, not caring that it wasn't the healthiest way to get some much needed rest. But at least he got to sleep that way.

Tooru, on the other hand, couldn't help but worry about his best friend. Albeit, Suga tried his best to hide how bad he was feeling - especially the fact that he returned to self-harm - it was clear to everyone who was close to him that something bad was happening to him. Worst of all, Daichi still avoided talking about the issue – leaving his soulmate alone with growing doubts and steadily rising anxiety. As if his absence would do any good at this point. Just what was that guy thinking? And frustratingly enough, there was simply nothing Oikawa could do about it. Which is also why he went back to spending time at his kindergarten, even if it was only to look after his depressed friend. He was obviously banned from doing anything remotely close to work - instruction by his overprotective fiancé - but that didn't stop him from sitting with the children and having them fret over him in pure, childlike adoration.  
Just watching that was like therapy for every teacher no matter how stressed out - Sugawara included. Who in their right mind wouldn't be charmed by a bunch of children cuddling up to a heavily pregnant person?

For safety's sake Oikawa went as far as to inform all of their friends of Suga's current _predicament_ to make sure everyone could keep their eyes open in case something set off their usually cheerful colleague and friend. Neither of them knew the true reason - at least Oikawa had the decency to protect Sugawara's privacy on that matter - yet they all did everything they could think of to distract the ash-blond. Especially if someone noticed that he seemed to have a particularly bad day. Without Suga even realizing it, his friends created a daily routine for him. Something he could always count on, no matter what. Hinata, for one, took him out for walks, accompanied him in his grocery shopping and filled the silence with his chatter. After all, with his sunny personality and seemingly endless energy there were never any dull moments. Suga's female colleague, Yachi, and his mom visited him at home after work was done and most times they spent their time cooking fancy meals together or watching movies. Though it was pretty much to make sure that he was taking proper care of himself. Somehow, even Yaku, who was currently travelling with Lev, managed to call him via Skype once Oikawa told him what had happened.

"His motherly senses were showing." said brunette had teased him as soon as Yaku had started to shoot question after question about Suga, his condition and what the hell had had happened the only time he ever decided to travel around.

If Suga had to be honest, it was a little disconcerting to have so many people care about him at once. It was a situation completely unfamiliar to him. At the same time, the mere idea of being around his beloved friends for as long as he wanted, made him truly happy. However, despite all the kindness he received, he still kept the truth about his breakdown and the way he was coping to himself. None of his friends minded it, knowing fragments of his past and mental instability. He was truly glad to have such understanding friends. Which was also the main reason that he kept the more painful details to himself, so he wouldn't worry them further.

The hardest thing each day, however, turned out to be staying in his and Daichi's home all alone every night, once his friends and mother bid farewell. It still hurt every time no matter how much time he spent with his friends throughout the day since these were the times where all of his inner demons seemed to crawl out of the darkest corners of his mind. His fear of losing his new-found family and the guilt for everything that went downhill already because of him were an all-time prominent issue in his jumbled up mind. Thoughts that turned even darker due to his neglect of his antidepressants. To make matters worse, he started to lose control over his self-harming tendencies with each passing day without a solution. Which is how he got lost in a cycle of acting in front of others and adding cut after cut as soon as he could slip off his mask of feigned cheerfulness. Unfortunately, that resulted in him being more often than one would have liked on the edge of panic since he was in constant fear of getting caught.

Therefore, it was already pre-programmed that everything had to come crashing down one day. No one knew when it would happen and how, but they all were filled with a dreadful foreboding feeling. Thus, it was simply impossible to be prepared for that fatal day. At first everything went as smooth as ever without any trouble in sight that rainy afternoon. Tooru was staying over once again and was currently napping alongside their fosterlings, much to the joy of everyone else. Not only got he to rest that way, it was also truly adorable to look at. The few kids that weren't resting kept themselves busy in one of the playing areas or had Hinata read to them. Right now, Sugawara was the only one available to clean the dishes from lunch. Someone had to do it with the other two being occupied with other tasks, whereas their only other teacher wasn't allowed to raise a finger. The ash-blond didn't mind, but also didn't really pay attention to what he was doing, seeing how his thoughts were elsewhere again. However, a sharp twinge in his hand, accompanied by a hiss of his own brought his attention back to the situation at hand. As he glanced down, he noticed a trace of blood trickling down his palm from looked like a pretty deep cut.

Did he really injure himself because his self-depreciating thoughts had distracted him? How he hadn't realized that he had accidentally grabbed a knife by its blade he didn't know. What he knew was that his grip on it was way too hard – leaving a deep, bleeding gash in his palm. With a startled gasp he let go of the knife, letting it clatter on the floor. Suga hadn't wanted to do it like that! The sound, however, alarmed Yachi who was watching over the sleeping children (and Oikawa) in the room next door. Feeling a wave of dread wash over her, she got to her feet to aid her friend immediately. _I hope nothing bad happened to him! I hope HE didn't do anything bad to himself! Oh my god, what if he is in danger! Should I get the others as well? What do I do, what do I do?!_

She was already panicking the moment she stepped through the door, so it didn't help at all to see him staring at a badly bleeding wound with an absolutely blank expression. How could someone, she knew as bright and cheerful, look so forlorn and... Empty? It scared her to see her friend without as much of any emotion on his face. Once Yachi realized she spent too much time staring at him, she slapped her cheeks to regain her focus. Much to her fortune, Oikawa had ordered to store first-aid kits in nearly every room his kindergarten possessed, therefore Yachi could simply pull one of them from one of the kitchen cabinets.

"Hey, can you hear me? Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to treat you, alright?" Yachi explained softly to grab his attention. The blonde also assumed that it would be better to make her presence known as she approached him.

Sugawara, however, was completely out of it as he gazed at the wound and didn't even notice the arrival of his friend. As soon as Yachi got into his field of vision his eyes regained some focus, yet he also flinched back almost violently. Yachi held her hands up in defence and tried to reassure him by backing off a little. His gaze landed on his female colleague and for a moment, a flicker of an emotion lit up in his eyes. An emotion Yachi couldn't identify. The blonde moved extra carefully, so that Suga could surely catch her movements and intentions, hoping to put him at ease that way. A moment later, the small woman tried to take his hand for a quick examination. Not to mention that an injury like that needed treatment.

Unfortunately, Suga pulled away as soon as Yachi took his injured hand into her own, with an expression of guilt on his face. She shouldn't examine his hand under any circumstances! The blonde, however, wasn't about to give up on her attempts to nurse him, especially because it became clearer by the minute that Sugawara was about to work himself into a full-blown panic attack. She was as gentle and sweet as always, but her caring attitude was exactly what worsened the entire situation now. Panic bubbled up inside him by the sheer thought that she would discover his horrible coping mechanism if she were to check on his wound. And knowing her, she would inform their other close friends and dear colleagues as well. Even if it would be for his own good. That was something the already troubled ash-blond certainly didn't want to risk. What if they got angry at him for being weak? Would they abandon him just like Daichi had?

Through his spiking anxiety Suga didn't realize that the poor woman was desperately trying to get him to calm down. Nothing else. Thus, he pushed her away and let his eyes wander around the room – looking for an escape. It was pretty obvious by now that he was entirely caught in his own head with very little connection to reality. Which is why Yachi couldn't do anything when Suga stumbled out of the kitchen on unstable feet. He _needed_ to get away from there. The moment he left the building he broke into a run the moment, fleeing from his beloved workplace. Suga had no place in mind as he ran through town - away from the people he knew and loved - so he simply went as far as his legs could carry him. Once he was out of breath, he slowed down a little and only walked around from then on.

After a while, he stopped on a random bridge in the middle of a park who knows where. He had no idea how long he had been out, but it must have been quite a while, if the fact that the sun was setting already was anything to go by. On top of that, all this running had him completely exhausted – he wasn't the most athletic person to begin with and with depression striking harder than ever, he couldn't even remember when he had trained the last. His hands were shaking badly – if it was from exhaustion or the panic clouding his mind, he didn't know – so he tried to get them under control by grabbing tightly onto the railings in front of him. Though he completely disregarded the fact that the old and rusty metal probably aggravated the wound even more.

The fact that his hand was still bleeding profusely and that it started to hurt like hell was something he only began to register now. And yet, he didn't even attempt to loosen his grip. What did it matter if he suffered a little more now? Who would even care about one or two more injuries now? Suga figured that the shock he had been feeling back in that place must have numbed the pain completely, so it all came back at once now when he was finally winding down again. Not that it was really surprising him any more with how his thoughts had been all over the place for a few days now. God, he was getting even worse than Tooru and that guy only turned out to be a highly emotional and forgetful due to his pregnancy!

Now that he realized that he had run from his beloved job, his friends and everyone's care simply because he couldn't think straight anymore without panicking every so often, he couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his cheeks. Tears that had been burning in the corners of his eyes ever since he freaked out in front of Yachi. It didn't help at all that he felt hollower than ever before either. His anxiety had gone completely out of hand.

The fear bothering his mind was absolutely baseless if he were to be honest with himself. His friends would never leave him behind, wouldn't they? That was just not possible, right? Neither of his friends had ever shown any signs of pity or disappointment towards him, so why couldn't he put some trust into them?! Just why was he so on edge around them all this time? Question after question began to flood his already hypersensitive brain, now that he started to think of all those impossible possibilities. Something that could probably have been avoided if he hadn't neglected his need for his medication. _Why can't I do anything right?! They have to think that I don't trust them anymore and they don't even know why! God, I'm such a pathetic idiot! If Daichi would still be with me he would be so disappointed in me! Daichi…_

While he was angry at himself and his own poor attempts of regaining control over his overstimulated mind, he was also beginning to feel more and more hopeless with each passing day. Especially since he was convinced that he had destroyed the one relationship that truly mattered. Why else would his soulmate stay away for so long? Suga, however, knew for sure that he couldn't continue his life if Daichi had truly left him for good. What was the point in it? What was he supposed to do now to fix this mess he created? After all, he had no idea where his soulmate even was! For all he knew he could already be with another person! What if, what if...  
Considering how attractive and caring Daichi was, it wouldn't even surprise him if someone fell for him. How long had it even been since they had last seen each other? Sugawara couldn't even tell anymore how much time had passed since Daichi had left the apartment – which was probably a bad sign. Not that Suga paid any mind to such trivial details.

In the end, he gave up what little dignity he had left and lowered his head down on his arms to hide at least a little bit. He couldn't prevent those ugly sobs from escaping his lips and it didn't look like, he would be able to calm down anytime soon. Thus, Suga stood there and cried miserably all by himself on that public bridge, not caring anymore about being seen. Ironically enough, not many people were around at the moment, so his breakdown went completely unnoticed.

Only when he was out of tears, he raised his head again. Now that his previous panic had finally settled down, he could take a look at his surrounds. The park, he found himself in was truly beautiful now that he looked around - filled to the brim with flowers and a river divided it into two individually decorated halves. Though, said river was surrounded by a red, traditional wooden-fence to make sure that visitors couldn't get too close and endanger themselves in the process, it didn't disturb the peaceful picture. It was the perfect spot for a date. Especially with such a pretty sunset. And yet, here he was, all alone without any hope to ever go on such a rendezvous with his soulmate. A tired sigh escaped him and he let his eyes wander around where he was right now. That old, wooden bridge on which he stood, connected both sides of the park.

Sugawara leant over the low handrail and began watching the current underneath him. Some weird fascination bubbled up inside him as he stared at the restless surface of the river, which also made him lean his upper body even more over the railings. It was a long way down and the current seemed to be strong as well, he figured _._  
How easy would it be to lean forward and let go… I could escape this meaningless hell with just one wrong step. I could… All this pain would vanish if I gave up trying. Trying to live a normal life when I am such a useless wreck. Would it be such a bad thing? Maybe – maybe father was right all along… Maybe this world would truly be a better place without someone as broken as me.  
Thoughts like these got louder and louder in his head until, suddenly, he spread his arms wide. A flightless crow attempting to soar. Never hearing the single voice calling out his name.

* * *

 _AN: I am so sorry. ^ .^  
_ Things are gonna get better, but to do that it has to get worse first, right? :D


	40. Chapter 40: 'You are not alone'

_Updated after checking some grammatical things and falsely used words. Or me simply typing faster than my brain was working^^_

* * *

 **Chapter 40: 'You are not alone.'**

Unaware of the imminent drama, Akaashi Keiji was casually strolling through just the same park. The raven-haired nurse was currently on his way home from another stressful day at the hospital, accompanied by his lovely boyfriend, Kozume Kenma. The couple shared an umbrella to shield themselves from the pouring rain from the currently brewing storm. His blond soulmate nibbled silently on steaming hot waffles, while Akaashi told him about his day and the mess his old friend Bokuto had brought to the hospital today. Kenma gazed fondly at his exasperated lover through his golden, cat-like eyes and couldn't help but chuckle at the way the other face-palmed himself in utter annoyance by nothing but the memory of Bokuto-San's antics.

"I just can't fathom how one guy can cause so much trouble in one afternoon! Why am I friends with such an idiot?" Akaashi exclaimed tiredly, despite Kenma's amusement.

Yet, the nurse didn't even think about complaining about his partner's obvious glee, simply because he _adored_ Kenma's smile. In fact, if someone were to ask him, he would describe Kenma as truly beautiful. The way he tied his shoulder-length blond hair back in a ponytail and how his eyes started shining whenever something like his video games excited him, took Akaashi's breath away no matter how often he got to see it. And for some reason, Kenma had decided to keep his hair dyed blond – a decision he had made in high school to blend in and he pretty much stuck to the idea and look. Even if it also let to his nickname 'Pudding Head', since he was usually too lazy to dye his roots every single time they showed again.

After breaking out of his little daydream, Akaashi decided to get back at his lover at least a little bit, so he took Kenma's free hand in his own and watched how a blush crept up the smaller male's whole face and neck. While Akaashi always minded the other's social anxiety, doing little things like holding hands was something even Kenma was okay with. Though, that didn't mean his blushing got any less for all the years they had been together. And _that_ was something the raven-haired always took joy in. For a moment, the couple got lost in their private little bubble with embarrassed, yet happy smiles and the feeling of their intertwined hands. It didn't last too long, seeing how Kenma was the first one to speak up again.

"Hey, isn't that Sugawara-San over there? I didn't know he worked or lived around here."

A little confused about the statement, Akaashi pondered, "No, he doesn't. In fact, this district is nowhere near any of his locations! From what Yaku-San told me, he is having some serious trouble with his soulmate. I wonder what he's doing all the way out here."

Both decided to get closer, even attempted to call out to the ash-blond, but they gave up on that when Sugawara made no signs of hearing them. They weren't that quiet, were they? Upon receiving no reply, no matter how often they tried to get his attention, a sense of dread developed in Akaashi. It also awoke his motherly (and professional) instincts of a nurse. A sensation that made the raven-haired pick up his walking speed. If he had to be honest, he didn't like the situation at all, not when he, too, had witnessed Suga breaking downs a few times during highly stressful times in college. The worst had been moments when his past had caught up with him. Therefore, he found it all the more worrisome that his old friend wasn't reacting to their presence at all. Not to mention that it was entirely unusual for the other to visit a park that far away from his home or workplace. Not even his previous flat had been around here! All these doubts, however, got pushed into the back of his mind once he saw the way Sugawara leaned over the railing. Way too deep to be considered safe!

That was the last straw for Akaashi before he broke into a run. His panicked reaction was confirmed to be the right decision when the ash-blond suddenly stretched his arms out, obviously not caring about his own safety.

"Suga-San, don't!"

Akaashi all but screamed at the top of his lungs as he recognized what his ashen-haired friend attempted to do, not too far away from where he was quickly approaching. Due to his running speed Akaashi couldn't really stop, so he simply grabbed the ash-blond by the waist and flung himself onto the ground. Away from the railing. The landing wasn't what the raven-haired would describe as soft, seeing how he took the brunt of the fall to protect the other. For a moment, both of them laid perfectly still. Kenma, still a little overwhelmed by the whole encounter, hurried over to them and offered a hand to help them sit up.

As soon as Akaashi recovered from the initial shock, he grasped Sugawara's hands and raised his voice, "What the hell were you thinking, Suga-San?! You gave me a heart attack just now!"

Suga flinched back at the sudden outburst from his usually calm and collected friend. Getting tackled down all of a sudden had thoroughly spooked him as well, to the point where he burst into tears. Upon witnessing that, Akaashi backpedalled immediately and wrapped the other in his arms, whispering sweet nothings to soothe him. Kenma, wanting to help despite his social awkwardness, crouched down next to them and rubbed circles onto the ash-blond's back. At least that was something he could do without causing more problems by accidentally saying the wrong things. Once Suga's sobs subsided, Akaashi opened his mouth to speak up again.

"Are you here with me again, Suga-San? You've been completely trapped in your own thoughts before I reached you. Can you tell me how you feel right now? Please be honest with me."

Sugawara rubbed his sore arms absentmindedly and whispered in response, "Yes, I… I'm here. Thank you… For getting me out of this I mean. I – I don't really know how to feel right now. It's… difficult." The ash-blond stopped his muttering to take a deep breath and collect his thoughts before he continued. "I'm not feeling much of anything really. Just tired, I guess. Have been like that for a while. Everything has been going to hell for – I don't even know how long anymore – and it's all my fault… I just thought that… I wanted all this pain to just stop."

His voice got quieter and quieter towards the end and he avoided looking at Akaashi's face at all costs. He _really_ didn't want to see his expression after such a confession, especially with his fear of being judged resurfacing at full force. It goes without saying that hearing a confession of such significance was truly shocking to Akaashi and Kenma. Both were understandably shocked speechless for a moment - a reaction that was anything but soothing for Suga's already hypersensitive mindset.

After exchanging looks with his lover, the raven-haired nurse proposed softly, "What would you say about living with us? For a little while at least? I'm positive it would be good for you as well. We could share a room, cook together and watch movies. Just like we did in college! I can imagine how much it must pain you to be alone in _his_ house."

Kenma added quietly to show his own support, "I would like that, too. If you're not okay with it, that's fine as well."

Suga contemplated his options for a moment in silence. There was no need to persuade him this time before he came to the conclusion that it wouldn't be too bad if he accepted this offer. Truly, it wasn't that hard to decide, considering how his worst fear was being alone in the apartment.  
 _Maybe this is for the best… Kaashi could probably help me more than… More than hurting myself does.  
_ Thus, the ash-blond gave a simple nod accompanied by a shy smile, which was enough to relieve Kenma and Akaashi for now. Kenma helped the both of them to their feet and checked them over for any injuries from the sudden fall. Which is how he discovered the huge, still bleeding gash on Suga's palm.

"Suga-San, you're bleeding!" Kenma exclaimed, pointing at the offended hand. That outburst also caught the attention of Akaashi, putting him immediately in his professional mode. This time, Suga allowed the other to take his hand to examine it. Since they didn't really have anything with them to patch up the wound, the nurse pulled out a clean handkerchief to wrap around his hand. That was the least he could do to stop the bleeding for now.

"This looks it'll need to be stitched up. I'm going to do it as soon as we're home, alright? That way, you won't have to go to the hospital. How did you end up with such a deep cut anyway? I haven't hurt you earlier by accident, have I?" Akaashi explained softly.

"Thank you… It's not your fault, but my own. I was too distracted at work and grabbed onto a knife by accident," Sugawara responded with a troubled smile ghosting around his lips.

Akaashi simply nodded at that and finished tying up the handkerchief as tightly as possible without further aggravating the wound. The ash-blond flinched slightly at the added pressure from his makeshift bandages, but hadn't had it in himself to worry about that. After all, he deserved the pain, right?  
 _No, no, no! Stop with these thoughts, Koushi! You are better than this. You haven't gone to therapy for ages to sink back into this! Maybe… Maybe I should talk to somebody about this. This. This isn't healthy in the long run…  
_ Without voicing his thoughts, Suga stumbled onward, between Akaashi and Kenma on their way to Akaashi's apartment. It was only now, that Suga realized how exhausted he was. Probably from all his running and the enormous stress, he was under. A tired yawn escaped him, which caused Akaashi to pull the ash-blond a little closer, so that he could lean some of his weight onto him. Kenma inched closer as well, and he linked his arm with Suga - an action that proved his silent support, seeing how he didn't show affection like that often in public. Even if it wasn't directed at Akaashi this time, it surely brought him joy witnessing how his smaller boyfriend tried to help one of their friends.

Luckily, the location they were heading to was not far from the park, so they arrived only fifteen minutes later. Since Sugawara had been far too panicked back in the kindergarten, he hadn't thought about grabbing his jacket, meaning he was now positively shivering. After all, it wasn't that warm at the moment and it must have begun raining too while he was out. How he had only noticed that on his way back with his friends, he wasn't entirely sure. But what he was certain about is that he was now completely drenched and cold and tired.  
As if sensing his discomfort they pushed Suga towards the bathroom as soon as they got into the apartment, where his current caretakers wasted no time in pampering their unplanned guest. While Akaashi collected his first-aid kit to treat the cut, Kenma looked for some fresh clothes to lend his friend in distress, put them on top of a shelf and ran a bath for Suga as well.  
Kenma even sat down next to Sugawara to hold onto his uninjured hand whilst the raven-haired nurse disinfected and ultimately stitched up the cut. The ash-blond was secretly happy that he wasn't alone throughout this, even if it wasn't his soulmate who helped him through the treatment.

After he was all cleaned up and wrapped in bandages, the dutiful nurse advised him, "You should rest your hand for the time being. Keep it elevated as well. I also put on some ointment to ease the pain and help in the wound healing. But _please_ tell me if the pain gets worse or something else you might think of as unusual happens. Put your arm on top of the edge of the bathtub to avoid getting it wet." A moment of consideration later, he added, "But it's also not a problem if it does get wet. Redressing the wound is done in a minute, so don't worry your pretty little head about such trivial things. You can use everything in here and Kenma brought you fresh clothes and towels. Just relax a little and don't think too much, alright?"

Sugawara took his advice to heart and gave a determined nod. He _needed_ to get better if he didn't want to worry his friends and mother more than he already had. And if nursing this stupid hand back to its previous state was the first step in getting better, then so be it. It was a little disconcerting that he had to injure himself serious enough to need professional treatment to come to this realization. Still, just realizing that he wouldn't be able to recover on his own was a huge improvement. Though, that also meant confronting his self-harming habit. Most definitely the hardest thing to deal with. Which is why he started on that part with removing all of the bandages covering his arms before he got in the bath tub. The hot water felt actually good on his cut-covered arms. Especially because quite a lot of these cuts were from recent slip-ups and were still bleeding if he wasn't careful. Despite this little nagging voice inside his head, Suga tried to relax as much as possible in his hot bubble bath – in fact, the warmth surrounding him felt so comfortable that he dozed off in the tub.

Meanwhile, Akaashi and Kenma just finished preparing a hearty dinner, Suga's favourite super spicy Mapo tofu to be exact. Both wanted to make him feel at home after all. Throughout the whole preparation, the raven-haired had been fairly distracted. Something unusual for him that didn't go unnoticed by his attentive soulmate. Wanting to ease the other's worries at least a little, Kenma wrapped his arms from behind around Akaashi and nuzzled his head softly into his back. The nurse reciprocated the gesture by putting his hands on top of Kenma's and leaning into the embrace.

"Are you okay, Keiji? You've been lost in thoughts ever since we returned home."

After a moment of silence, Akaashi confessed softly, "It's just… A lot has happened today. Many things I could have never dreamed of. And I don't even want to think about what would have happened if we hadn't been around that park today! I – I mean, I knew from what Oikawa-San had told me that he had slipped into another depressive episode, but that he had gotten that bad again…"

He took a shaky breath, turned around so that he could face his lover and hid his face in Kenma's blond hair. Akaashi was visibly shaken by the entire experience and to have the raven-haired express his emotions so openly was definitely unusual for him.

Seeing how Sugawara and Kenma hadn't spent as much time together during college, the blond didn't get to learn the whole story of Suga's lonely and painful upbringing and the issues that rose from those days. At least they weren't as close as the ash-blond had been with Akaashi and his small, trusted clique. Kenma, however, had noticed early on how Suga was withdrawn into himself, shying away from contact with other people, loud noises and situations that were out of Suga's control. The fact that Sugawara got easily terrified by overbearing and sturdy people, especially males was quickly noticed by Kenma as well.  
While he at first thought of the other as extremely shy, he had discovered quite early – due to his attentive nature – that he was like that because of some unspoken trauma. The blond, being a major in psychology, never spoke openly about his observations and, instead, used the gained knowledge to figure out a way to approach and act around the ashen-haired male.

His quiet and introverted personality helped to get Suga to come out of his shell little by little and encouraged him to accept the fact that he needed a guiding hand at times, especially in moments when something unexpectedly triggered him bad enough to trap him in a trance-like daze. It also proved to be fortunate that the Pudding Head was studying in the field of psychology, since that enabled him to give more useful advice whenever Suga needed someone other than his therapist to talk to. Someone who understood his case more than his best friends could. In the end, Kenma had watched on the sidelines how Sugawara had grown stronger with the help of his therapy and the support of his friends until he became the supportive, independent and cheerful person he was today. Which is also one of the main reasons that allowed Kenma to believe that Sugawara could overcome this.

"It's hard to see a friend suffer like that… But don't work yourself up on what could have happened and focus on the here and now. Suga-San is with us, safe and sound, and I'll help you look after him. If the problem is still within his soulmate, then I could get Kuroo to knock some sense into him." Kenma reassured his partner.

Akaashi simply strengthened his embrace for a moment longer, before he stepped back, now more composed than earlier. Now wasn't the time to fret over the possible outcomes of their previous dilemma. The raven-haired knew that his boyfriend was completely right, so he decided to keep himself busy and started setting up the table for the three of them. Once everything was settled, the nurse took a quick glance at the clock in the living room and startled a little as he noticed just how late it had gotten already. Or rather how much time had passed since Suga went into the bathroom. A little over one and a half hour had passed, and that was a suspiciously long time to spend in the tub for someone who Akaashi knew who preferred quick showers over baths. With a feeling of dread in his stomach, the nurse crept towards the bathroom, where he knocked as well as called out to his friend.

After receiving no reply at all, he pushed the door open and gasped in horror at the view in front of him. Sugawara had slipped dangerously low into the tub, asleep and also obviously unaware of the danger he put himself in. Again. Not giving a damn about invading the other's privacy, Akaashi rushed into the room and pulled his friend up a little - effectively waking him up in the process. Suga awoke with a start and grabbed onto Akaashi's shirt in pure reflex with a panicked expression masking his face.

"What! What's wrong?!" Suga shrieked, sitting up with his eyes flying through the unfamiliar room.

For a moment he didn't know where he was, which put him a little on edge, hence his reaction at being woken up so _rudely_. Upon noticing Akaashi hovering over him, he came back to his senses, though he didn't understand the panic clearly visible in his friend's eyes. At his questioning gaze, the nurse took a deep breath, probably to gather himself before speaking up again.

"Suga, you can't just fall asleep in the tub like that! God, you've scared me to hell right now! Don't you know how dangerous that is?! You could have drowned!"

Ah. That explained the apparent fear, Suga thought to himself. It was a little unsettling to have his old friend being so openly upset and anxious when he usually masked his emotions with a neutral expression. And to think that he was the reason for this didn't make Suga particularly proud. Especially because he wasn't done confessing his mistakes yet. Therefore, he promised softly to get out of the tub now to join his friends for dinner. With a smile that felt less faked than all the other times, he had printed a grin onto his face whenever he was surrounded by his friends and the children he took care of at work. That worked for Akaashi if his relieved sigh was anything to go by and he left the ash-blond to his own devices again.

Once Sugawara was dressed in the clothes Kenma left for him, he took a look in one of the high mirrors and sighed upon the sight he provided. It had been clear from the beginning that Akaashi's clothes would be a little too big for him - which wasn't a particularly bad thing, considering how often he stole Daichi's shirts and sweaters - but looking at himself now, he still felt a little lost. The plain white T-Shirt made him look a little paler than usual and made the reddish lines stand out even more. At least these black sweatpants were comfortable, even if they were a little too long for him. There was no way he could hide these countless cuts in what he wore right now, so he prepared himself as much as possible for the confrontation with Akaashi and Kenma one last time today. Hopefully, he could avoid the issue until after dinner.

When he returned to the living room, his friends were already at the table dishing out food, so his entrance went mostly unnoticed. Which allowed him to enjoy his favourite food with friends without dimming the calm atmosphere. If one of them noticed the cuts covering the ash-blond's arms then nobody said a thing. Even if Sugawara was almost sure that he could see recognition light up in Kenma's eyes for a second. Yet, the blonde male didn't raise his voice, sensing that it was a delicate and private issue. Something that needed to be addressed at the right time with care and a certain understanding. And his gut feeling told him that Akaashi was the person whom Suga would approach. So, he stayed silent for now.

The trio enjoyed their meal and chatted casually about everything and nothing and for a while it looked like nothing was out of the ordinary. Which was just what Sugawara needed at the moment. It wasn't until after dinner, after Suga insisted on assisting his hosts with cleaning the dishes - no matter how much they wanted him to lean back and relax - that Suga was getting antsy. How he had managed to hide his terrible coping mechanism from these two for so long, he didn't know. Or perhaps they were already aware of it and kept it to themselves until Suga decided to speak up first. Whatever it was, now that he couldn't hide away anymore, he began losing his nerves a little.

In the end, he was forced to wait a little longer, sine Akaashi excused himself to take a shower himself. Of course, he could also talk to his soulmate, but for some reason he simply couldn't bring himself to do that. Though, it's not like he didn't trust Kenma. In fact, the blond helped him far more than his other friends had been able to from time to time. After the raven-haired returned and was about to set up a movie, Kenma grabbed onto his boyfriend's shirt and stared up at him in silence. Seeing how Akaashi didn't get whatever his partner wanted, Kenma's eyes wandered between Sugawara and his lover a few times until he got the memo. Now that Akaashi was aware that something else seemed to be bothering Sugawara, he quickly scanned the other, hoping to catch onto anything unusual. That is when he noticed Suga's nervous fidgeting. Especially how he kept rubbing his arms, aggravating various angry looking, red lines. Wait, what?

The second the penny dropped for Akaashi, he rushed over to his old friend, pulled him towards the sofa and grabbed Suga's hands to stop him from trying to cover up what damage had already been done. Suga averted his eyes when his friend held onto his arms, twisted and turned them to examine every inch of his pale skin. Now that the truth was out in the open, Sugawara couldn't help but feel guilty about resorting to self-harm when he hadn't been able to deal with the emotional pain tormenting him. As a result, his body – or rather his arms were covered in countless cuts of various sizes. Too many too count, too many to overlook. A silent scream for help. Akaashi's fingers lingered at one particularly long scar near his left wrist. It was impossible to miss that it had been a deep cut – considering how red and rough it was now – before it scarred over. Even without the medical knowledge Akaashi possessed, it was undeniable that this one cut was different from the others. Something about it literally screamed _danger_ , not only because it was still bleeding and definitely not treated properly until not but also because its position and the intensity of it indicated that this might have been an injury with suicidal intentions.

Which was also the reason for Akaashi to break the uncomfortable silence. "Suga… Was this- Did you want to end your life? This one looks particularly bad and fairly recent as well."

Kenma – bless his farsighted soul – had slipped out of the room earlier to grab the first-aid kit once more, just in case his boyfriend needed to treat another unexpected injury. Luckily, Sugawara had had the presence of mind to disinfect and bandage himself after every slip-up, so nothing became infected. Although that didn't make the entire ordeal any better. Still, Akashi decided to put some healing ointment onto his fresh cuts, simply because there wasn't anything else he could do for now.

While the nurse busied himself with said task, Sugawara muttered softly, "I… It wasn't supposed to be so deep. But something startled me and I jerked my hand away and then there was this huge cut and it bled profusely and wouldn't stop. Was out of bandages afterwards because it just wouldn't stop bleeding. I was so scared as well, because I didn't want to die! And now I'm rambling! I-I am sorry…"

 _At least it wasn't a suicide attempt. He'll need professional help, though… But I guess it's a good sign that he opened up to me, meaning that he is also aware that he can't continue like that. To think that he relapsed that badly into his terrible coping-mechanism and depression because of his soulmate… I definitely need to talk to Sawamura-Kun once I make sure that Suga gets in touch with his therapist. If this gets any worse or drags on any longer, it might get actually dangerous. Today had been a close call enough._

Instead of voicing his thoughts out loud, Akaashi pulled the ash-blond against him, leaving enough space for his Kenma to sit at Suga's other side. While the nurse had been busy with examining his dear friend, the blond had selected a comedy movie to watch on Netflix, prepared some snacks and drinks in the kitchen and grabbed a blanket for the three of them. Now cuddled together on the sofa, Sugawara finally managed to take a breather. Both of his friends were somehow touching the ash-blond to convey how strongly they cared for him no matter what. It was one of those moments where no words were needed, seeing how their actions conveyed way more than any words could.

Nobody had judged him for what he did, nor did they comment on his issues, which was enough to calm his strained nerves. In fact, he was completely relaxed, now that the truth was out and his friends weren't acting all overprotective over him. Kenma and Akaashi knew that treating him any different than normal wouldn't do any good after all. Just like that, they spent the evening with a bunch of movies, delicious food and a lot of cuddling – just like they did back in college. Since neither of them wanted to move away from their comfortable spot, they decided to stay right where they were right now for the night. A decision that was made with ease, especially in consideration of how _huge_ the sofa was.  
Thanks to his friends, Sugawara was perfectly content and he _knew with certainty_ that sleep would come easier to him this night than all those other nights filled with night terrors before.

Before Suga fell asleep between them, Kenma promised softly, "Things are gonna get better from now on. We'll stay with you all the way through. Just… Talk to us, alright?"

The ash-blond nodded sleepily at his words and gave Kenma's hand a soft squeeze. A sincere "Thank you," was all that left the ash-blonds lips before his consciousness faded away, guiding him to the land of dreams. Peaceful dreams for once.


	41. Chapter 41: Gaining support

**Chaper 41: Gaining Support**

Waking up the day after his breakdown, Sugawara was more rested than ever. He felt even revived, seeing how he barely got to sleep for the past days prior. Or was it weeks already? Admittedly, he was a bit confused when he woke up in surroundings he wasn't too familiar with. With someone snuggled up against his side. A confusion that faded away quickly, though not immediately, once he noticed who exactly he was cuddled up against. Kenma had curled himself around Suga's slender figure, and had a tight grasp onto the other - definitely comfortable where he lay. Who would have guessed that the reserved blond male was a cuddler? Not that Suga had any complaints, considering how touch-starved he felt – something that got a lot worse ever since Daichi left the apartment. The only thing that prompted him to get out of his comfortable position was the mouth-watering smell wafting in from the kitchen. Pancakes, from what he could tell and even the sweet smell of syrup and chocolate reached his nostrils. With a little difficulty, he freed himself from Kenma's grip and shuffled towards the bathroom for his morning routine.

It took him only a few minutes before he went to the kitchen, where Akaashi greeted him softly, "Good morning, Suga. How did you sleep?"

"Hey… I slept better than I have in so long and I feel wonderfully rested. And… Thank you. For your help yesterday, I mean," Sugawara responded while rubbing his arms absentmindedly.

It became a habit ever since he started cutting and it was still weird for him to have his cuts open for display. After all, he spent the whole time hiding away until now. The raven-haired took notice of his nervous fidgeting immediately and swatted his hands away – it wouldn't be good to aggravate the cuts after all with constant rubbing. For a moment, a flicker of hurt lit up in the ash-blond's face, an expression he quickly masked over so he wouldn't worry his already troubled friend any further. However, Akaashi had almost expected the other to react in such a defensive way, so he smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Since the atmosphere had turned a little awkward now, the raven-haired turned around to finish what he had been working on until the ash-blond joined him in the kitchen. To his huge surprise, he found slender arms wrapped around his middle only mere seconds later.

In an unbelievably soft and quiet voice, Sugawara whispered into his ear, "I know you mean well, Kaashi. This is just so… I don't know. I'm still trying to figure some things out and having someone know about _this_ is not something I'm proud of. I am truly grateful, believe me, because I know, too, that I won't be able to get out of this hellish cycle on my own. I've been entirely on edge at work for days now, had barely slept and I was simply so hopeless. As if it couldn't get better anymore. And then I cut myself on accident and I freaked out and ran from the kindergarten and then you guys found me!"

Sugawara froze in place as he remembered that incident and exclaimed loudly, "Oh god, the guys must be so worried about me disappearing like that!"

As if hearing his cry, a phone started ringing just when he finished speaking. Sugawara's phone to be exact. He paled a little when he read the caller ID and took a quick glance at his friend. Of course, the first one to call him had to be Oikawa! Akaashi couldn't help but chuckle at his helpless expression, and didn't even consider helping him out of this situation. The wrath of the one and only Oikawa Tooru was something Akaashi certainly didn't want to incur right now. There wasn't much time for Suga to consider his options about answering or ignoring the call, so he chose to accept his fate like a man. Although, it was not like he had much of a choice anyway.

In the end, Suga lifted the phone to his ear, took a deep breath and accepted the call. Still, there was nothing he could have done to prepare himself for the outburst of his best friend and the onslaught of questions thrown at him at once. He knew he fucked up when his best friend's name lit up his phone display.

"SUGAWARA KOUSHI, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU WORRIED ME?!" Oikawa all but screamed into the phone, loud enough for even Akaashi to hear. "YOU CAN'T JUST RUN OFF LIKE THAT AND VANISH INTO THIN AIR! NOBODY HAS HEARD A WORD OF YOU SINCE YESTERDAY AND YOU WEREN'T HOME AS WELL! I - I THOUGHT YOU DIED!"

Seeing how Oikawa was outright agitated right now, the ash-blond realized fairly quickly that it would be wiser to let him finish his rant, before even attempting to explain anything. Though, it wasn't like the brunet even gave him a single chance to get a word or two in. Sugawara on the other hand couldn't really blame him for his outburst – he was in no position to complain about someone getting into his face for his reckless behaviour after all. This time, however, Oikawa overdid it completely when he bit Suga's head off, considering how he couldn't hold back from accusing the ash-blond of really screwing it up and throwing all of the worst-case-scenarios Oikawa's brain made up at Sugawara – some of them scarily on point.  
To make matters worse, the brunette even began crying throughout his outburst, which made Suga feel way worse about the incident. So much for his intention not to worry him. Hearing his best friend break down like that because of his own carelessness and the possible danger he put himself in, Suga found himself getting consumed by guilt. It tore terribly at his heart, bad enough that he could feel tears well up in his own eyes, no matter how much he tried to keep his composure.

Since Sugawara could barely hold himself together after getting confronted in such a direct and emotional way, he stumbled out of the room and shut himself away in the couple's guestroom. He didn't want to attract more attention than necessary from his already worried hosts by starting to cry in front of them along with Oikawa. Said brunet only stopped his ranting when a sob reached his ear through the phone. Even if Oikawa was mad at his best friend for worrying him like that, especially because he knew about his overall situation, it had never been his intention to make him cry.

Before he could say anything to excuse his outburst, Sugawara all but wailed, "I – I'm sorry, Tooru! It's just… Everything just got too much for me! I know you and the others tried to distract me, but it just couldn't keep these nightmares away. I – I couldn't sleep without pills and at one point I didn't even feel bad about taking too many at once, healthy or not! It just got worse and, and I felt so empty and tired and I slipped… I didn't _want_ to work myself into a panic attack, but I was so on edge all the time and I wasn't paying attention and I cut myself badly and then Yacchan wanted to help, but I didn't want her touching me because then she would have _seen_ and, and, and…"

His rambling got worse with each sentence, each truth spilled to his best friend, and soon enough he found himself choking on tears. He tried so hard to calm his nerves, but his heart was absolutely racing and his mind wasn't supplying anything helpful either! The painful pressure on his chest didn't make breathing any easier, which is why he couldn't help but claw at his skin, hoping that it would somehow rid him from this suffocating feeling. Oikawa's reaction had affected him way more than he would have liked and he could already feel that he was breaking out in a cold sweat. Through the slight daze he was in, he didn't hear Oikawa calling out to him in worry and instead focused on getting his breathing under control. The fact that he _couldn't fucking breath,_ made him feel like dying here and now – a sensation that worsened the whole situation all the more. When it all became too much for him a sudden weakness in his legs brought him down to the floor with a resounding _thud._

A sound that not only alarmed Akaashi and Kenma next door, but also Oikawa. It didn't help them at all that the ash-blond was entirely unresponsive to any of his friends – neither to his host's knocking at the door, nor his best friend's calls, whose voice grew noticeably more frightened the longer Sugawara wouldn't reply. Fortunately, Sugawara hadn't locked the door when he fled from the kitchen, so Kenma managed to squeeze his small body into the bedroom once he pushed the door open wide enough. Without wasting a second, the blond knelt down right in front of his shaking friend, immediately realizing that he was trapped in an intense panic attack. It was time for his psychological knowledge to be useful for once! Therefore, the blond made sure to be directly in view of Sugawara before he spoke up in a soft and reassuring voice.

"Hey. Hey, Koushi. I'm right here for you, okay? I promise that everything is going to be alright. I'm going to stay with you for as long as you need. Could you do me a little favour? Focus on the way I'm breathing and breathe with me. Inhale for two seconds, hold your breath for two more and then exhale for four seconds. Can you do that for me?"

It took a few seconds before Suga showed any signs of recognition, but as he realized what the other had just asked of him, he gave a quick nod. It sounded easy enough: Focus on his friend, imitate his breathing. He could do that! For a few minutes they sat in absolute silence, besides the noise of Sugawara's rattling gasps. Only a few encouraging words from Kenma, as well as him counting out loud from time to time again to give him a steady rhythm interrupted the silence. Once his breathing had normalized somewhat, Kenma offered him a wet, cold cloth to wipe the sweat off of his forehead and neck. Something Akaashi had brought along, since he hadn't been able to help in any other way, but trusted his soulmate to manage the situation. After all, he had studied psychology for a bit. At least until he discovered for himself that game design was just his thing.

Since Oikawa had unintentionally triggered the panic attack, Kenma removed the phone from Suga's clammy hand – with his approval of course – and handed the device to Akaashi. The nurse was pretty sure that the brunet was freaking out himself, especially because said male wasn't even aware of what had occurred the day before. Or what exactly led to it.

Sniffles could be heard through the phone, proving Akaashi's worries immediately, so he tried to hush the distressed male softly, "Oikawa-San, please calm down. Suga is with me and Kenma for the time being. He had a panic attack just now, a bad one too. I understood that you are simply worried about him, but blaming him for something he had no control over is unacceptable. Kenma is with him helping him through the attack while we talk. We found him yesterday by pure coincidence in a park close to our home and he was in a worrisome state of mind."

The raven-haired paused his speech for a moment, finding it hard to continue his explanation considering what he had barely been able to prevent. As if sensing his unease, Oikawa urged him on, "Keiji, what is going on? Something did happen yesterday, am I right in my assumption? Please be honest with me!"

Knowing that it would be fruitless to keep it to himself, Akaashi confessed quietly, "Frankly, I'm not sure if Suga was 100 % conscious of what he was doing yesterday. And if he was indeed, than that would be even worse! He… When we found him, he was so close to _falling_ _off_ _the bridge_! It was like he wasn't _there_ when he leaned so far over the handrail and… I've never seen him so hopeless and indifferent before! And it doesn't even end there because he relapsed into self-harm. If that fact alone isn't bad enough, I've discovered one cut that could have easily cost his life, hadn't his subconsciousness provided the need to stop the god damn bleeding! What worries me most is that he has never denied that these were not suicide attempts!"

Oikawa was honestly speechless after hearing the whole story and anything he might have exclaimed died in his throat. How could he have missed such a grave development of his best friend's depression? While he had known about the extent of the mental illness and how he had fallen into it again, he never noticed just how severe it was.  
 _Koushi must have masked how he felt all this time as not to worry us. What kind of best friend am I when he couldn't even be honest with me?! I sure hope Keiji isn't right about his assumptions… If everything we have done to get his mind off of his problems didn't do anything good, then I guess a therapy is once again the only thing that would help him to get out of this. I'm going to deck Sawa-Chan for hurting Kou-Chan like that!_

The call of his name pulled Oikawa out of his thoughts. Huh, he really shouldn't have left Akaashi hanging for so long, if his slight stuttering was anything to go by. Thus, he apologized softly, "Sorry, sorry, I'm still with you. Thanks for telling me all of that. And I'm really sorry for reacting the way I did." Suddenly getting overwhelmed by a wave of strong emotions, he sniffled a little and muttered furthermore, "I – I didn't want him to get into a panic attack, but I've been just so worried about him disappearing without a trace IN a panic, and I feared he might have done something to himself! I _knew_ he was struggling ever since Sawamura fucked up, but I never expected it to get this bad!"

Akaashi sighed on his side of the receiver, glad that the other was still responding despite receiving such shocking news. Even if the nurse had learned to keep his emotions in check for any casualties that may occur in his field of work, it was still something entirely different when it affected his own friends or family. Therefore, it was more than obvious that one would be flabbergasted, so the raven-haired wasn't exactly surprised about Oikawa's reaction. He had freaked out, too, after all, although he had done that not in Sugawara's presence. In the next few minutes, Akaashi tried to calm the crying male with the most understanding he could offer – since he was aware of how Oikawa's pregnancy affected him emotionally, having helped in his regular checkups at the hospital.

Once he was convinced that the brunet would be fine for now, Akaashi bid his farewell, with the promise of looking after Sugawara and keeping Oikawa up to date, should anything noteworthy happen. Akaashi truly didn't want to have to worry about more than one individual at the same time, especially because Oikawa himself could cause a lot of trouble with his own carelessness. Luckily, he had a soulmate, who cast a watching brief over his partner. Something Sugawara needed as well, though that turned out to be the most troublesome issue, seeing how said soulmate was the one who caused this whole mess to begin with.  
 _Maybe, I should get in touch with Sawamura-San as well. Someone HAS to get through that thick skull of his and I don't want their relationship to suffer any more just because they don't talk with each other after what happened. Whatever his intentions are, it clearly doesn't do anything good. I wonder if Sawamura has any idea what his careless, ignorant behaviour had caused. Well, there is only one reason to find out, right?_


	42. Chapter 42: Confrontation

**Chapter 42: Confrontation**

"So, we're on our way now. Are you sure you're going to be alright on your own, Suga? We won't be gone for long," Akaashi announced as he stuffed his keys and wallet into his coat pocket. Sugawara was watching him and Kenma getting ready, for once not worried about being left alone. In fact, he wore a carefree smile on his face and leaned lazily against the doorframe, while he waited for his chance to send them off.

"It's fine. Keiji! Don't worry about me and do whatever you have to! You don't need to babysit me anyway. I'll wait for you to come back and… call Shouyou or whatever. Have fun you two!" Suga exclaimed, hoping the ease his friend's worries at least a bit.

The nurse, though, couldn't help himself but fuss over his ashen-haired friend. Thus, he made sure Suga knew where Akaashi had stored an already prepared, healthy lunch, snacks and anything he might need to entertain himself, and ultimately made him promise to call them, should anything bother him, no matter how trivial it seemed to be for the ash-blond. It might look like Akaashi was completely overprotective, in the end, however, he did it with the best intentions. And Sugawara understood why he acted that way, never minding the exaggerated care, therefore he let his friend mother him as he pleased. Once Akaashi had let out every little thing he could think of to ensure Suga's well-being for the next few hours, Sugawara approached him and wrapped his friend in a tight hug – successfully shutting him up in the process.

"Stop worrying about me, Keiji. You've already done more for me than I could have asked for without complaining. I've only been here for a couple of days and you helped me create a normal routine – a routine that excludes cutting to feel better – got in touch with my old therapist AND you helped me through a couple of panic attacks caused by nightmares. I truly believe that I will be fine for a few hours on my own. So please, go out, do whatever you have to do and enjoy your alone time with Ken-Chan."

With that statement, he hushed both of his hosts out of their home, waved after them until they got out of sight and only then returned inside. The ashen-haired male wasn't exactly sure what his friends had planned that day, only caught on to the fact that it seemed to be a serious and important appointment, but he also didn't want to pry too much. The couple had a life of their own after all. Which left him in a spacious flat on a sunny Friday. Once again, he was prohibited to go to work, orders from his boss and best friend, Oikawa, so that he could finally tackle his worsened mental health issues. Those mental-health-days reminded him much of his very first therapy, since his therapist had introduced him to them back then. A memory he didn't like to recall that much, if he had to be honest, especially because he simply hadn't seen any reason to spoil himself for a long time. After all, he didn't even see a reason to live when he first got into therapy. But the care and love of his friends had helped tremendously and they had used every gotten chance to prove him that he was indeed loveable. Luckily he had grown out of it with time and understood now how important it was to care for his own well-being. Even if he had forgotten it for a while.

While Suga had had his doubts at the beginning of the sudden change of his daily routine, he had accepted his fate fairly quick. With so many voices to support the decision, it hadn't been as bad as he had figured at first. After all, the only thing that changed noticeably were the evenings, meaning Suga was in the company of Kenma and Akaashi instead of being all alone, suffering from loneliness and resulting sleep problems. Throughout the day, it happened more than often that Oikawa showed up to hang out. Just like before in the kindergarten with the only difference that no _working_ happened. Which was a nice change, actually, especially because Suga loved to take care of his pregnant friend. It was adorable, in Oikawa's opinion, to see his eyes light up whenever one of the twins kicked against Suga's hands and it truly warmed Tooru's heart to see his best friend get so excited about the babies. A happiness that surely was contagious.  
Now that Sugawara most likely had the whole day to himself, since even his best friend was busy with _something,_ he decided to spoil himself a little for the time being. After all, that's just what his friends wanted him to do, right?

Meanwhile, Akaashi and Kenma arrived at their first stop – the Iwaizumi-Oikawa residence. The brunet was already waiting for them to arrive and waved once he noticed their car. Akaashi was immediately out of the car, offering his assistance to the heavily pregnant Oikawa. Support, that was only partially accepted, seeing how Oikawa hated the fact that he needed a little help in getting into the car, and getting into a somewhat comfortable position. As unfortunate as it was for everyone around him, his pride usually got in the way whenever someone attempted to do something for him or tried to stop him from doing whatever he had in mind in these moments. Oikawa still wanted to do as much as possible on his own, even in the late stages of pregnancy. This time, however, he kept his grumbling to himself, because they had met up with an important _mission_ in mind. Something that was way more important than his aching back and sore feet. Once he had found a comfortable position _and_ had promised the considerate nurse that he was indeed feeling alright, the trio set off on their self-declared quest.

A few minutes into the drive Oikawa declared darkly, "Sawamura better be there when we get there. He will pay for putting Kou-Chan in such a miserable state! And I'm not leaving until this idiot realizes what kind of bullshit his _decision_ _to abandon him_ was!" Seconds later he inquired to assure himself, "And you guys are sure that Koushi will be alright? All alone, I mean? Has he... Has he hurt himself any further since he got to stay with you? It's not like I doubt your ability to look after him, but since he hid his problems even from me I'm just… worried about him. These stupid hormones don't make this any easier."

Kenma, who had switched to sit next to the brunet in the back seat, put his hand on top of Oikawa's knee, rubbing it a little in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. In his usual quiet tone, the game designer muttered, "He'll be fine. I think he has improved since he got to stay with us. Away from Sawamura's house. He was smiling more genuinely from what I can tell and I believe that there aren't any new cuts. Keiji helped him get in touch with his old therapist, too. It's a good thing that he is well aware of the fact, that he needs professional help. Let's trust him to take care of himself."

That seemed to have convinced and calmed Oikawa enough to drop the issue and relax at least somewhat. Afterwards, a comfortable silence surrounded them for most of the ride to the police station, besides bits and pieces of casual small talk about each of their family lives. For most of the time, though, all three were lost in their own thoughts, all circling around a certain ash-blond. It didn't bother them at least, seeing how they prepared themselves for the upcoming confrontation in a way. A confrontation, not even Iwaizumi – Daichi's colleague, friend and soulmate of Oikawa – was aware of, even if he had realized that his fiancé was up to _something._ Truth to be told, the three men didn't really have a solid plan. After all, the idea itself was rather spontaneous and more impulsive than anything else, seeing how it was a result of one of Tooru's visits on one of his especially moody days. Which brought them to where they were right now. Fortunately, the ride to the police department didn't take too long. A mere hour, meaning it was lunch time by the time they arrived and Iwaizumi and Daichi were most likely out for lunch now.

At least that's the reasoning Oikawa used, so that he and his companions could go out for food as well. For a moment, he smiled smugly to himself, confident that there was simply _no way_ that his friends would see through his _perfect_ scheme. At least he did until he saw how Akaashi and Kenma tried desperately to hide their growing smirks. With Kenma avoiding his gaze while his long bangs fell into his face and Akaashi trying to stifle his laughter behind his hand. Neither of the two said out loud that they had figured out that Tooru was simply hungry right now – yet the brunet could clearly see it. This led to a pouting Oikawa and his still amused friends sitting in a small restaurant – one that Oikawa preferred whenever he was out to join his fiancé during his lunch break.

His sour mood, however, improved as soon as he received his order – something the waitress was already familiar with, seeing how it was a custom-made combination of various smaller dishes. Dishes so different in taste that nothing but his pregnancy could explain the weird mix. Oikawa's cravings were rather… _unusual_ after all _._ For a while, the brunet chomped happily away at his meal, completely ignorant to the curious gazes thrown his way. Ignorant to the situation they were about to face as well. In a way, this lunch was his excuse to escape the inevitable confrontation, at least for a little while. And Oikawa wasn't the only one of them who thought like that, even if neither of them said it out loud.

In the end, they stayed in that cosy restaurant for almost an hour before they decided to make their way towards the police station. They didn't enter immediately, though Akaashi did reach for the door handle. The trio exchanged a few glances, eyes full of determination and after Kenma and Oikawa gave a resolute nod, Akaashi pushed open the doors. Much to their fortune, the police department didn't seem to be busy right now and the first one who spotted them was Kuroo Tetsuro.

The Roster Head called, grinning, while he strolled over to his best childhood friend, "Yo, Kenma! Are you visiting me? I knew you loved me!"

After receiving a little one armed hug and getting his hair messed up, Kenma huffed softly, shoved his friend away and grumbled, "Shut up, you're too loud… We're here because we need to discuss something urgent with Sawamura. In person. Is he in?"

Hearing his unusually calm and introverted friend speak up with such a serious expression, caused Kuroo to shift into his more professional mode, worried that something might have happened. That something was going on was rather obvious, even to the biggest fool. Kuroo, in fact, wasn't aware of what was going on between Daichi and his respective lover, despite that _something_ seemed to weigh on his colleague's heart. Having a feeling that these two points must be connected, considering that _three_ people at once demanded a meeting, Kuroo indicated these unexpected visitors to follow him to Daichi's and Iwaizumi's office. Yet, it didn't stop him from questioning the sudden visit and the sour mood that seemed to plaque Akaashi, Kenma and Oikawa at the same time.

The Rooster Head didn't waste any time with formalities and charged into the office without knocking or announcing him and the visitors. Daichi, having grown used to these antics, didn't even flinch, though he did look up to see what was going on this time. He didn't expect the company his loud colleague brought along. And what he also couldn't have imagined was that Oikawa stomped straight towards him and slapped his face hard enough to leave a red imprint on his cheek the moment he saw him at his desk. The smack seemed to echo in the room and Daichi, honestly, needed a moment to realize what had occurred. For a few seconds, nobody dared to speak up and Kuroo gaped speechlessly at the scene in front of him. Shivers went up his spine as the curious male could feel the anger each of their visitors emitted, something that worsened after they laid their eyes on the young police officer.

In a way it was fortunate that Iwaizumi was currently somewhere else. Fortunate for Oikawa so to say, seeing how he wouldn't get restrained as soon as he got into the other man's face. His emotions and the frustration he had held inside for a while now all burst out at once when he saw the man who was responsible for his best friend's suffering, meaning he reacted purely out of instinct. Protective instincts of motherly origin, something that grew immensely stronger the further along he got in his pregnancy, and it didn't change a thing that this affected his dearest friend – somebody he thought of as family.

Right now, Oikawa Tooru was fuming and he hissed at Daichi with narrowed eyes and a menacingly low voice, "How. Dare. You. How dare you treat my Kou-Chan like that! And before you open your stupid mouth, I want you to listen to me! Koushi has gone through hell for half of his life – something you should be aware of by now – so why on earth would you _abandon_ him so carelessly, as if he meant nothing to you?! Do you care so little about your fucking _soulmate_?!"

Sensing that the brunet was a little too winded, Akaashi stepped closer, squeezed Oikawa's shoulder softly and continued coldly, without showing his own emotions, "Look, we're not here to guilt-trip you in particular, but we want you to reconsider your actions. I know you and Suga had had an intense argument and both of you had crossed the line at one point. While I understand that arguing isn't anything too unusual, relationship or not, the way you two handled it, is unacceptable. Turning to violence is absolutely inexcusable and it's ten times worse for a person who suffered for years from domestic violence!"

Kenma had a few things to say as well, but he figured that the ambushed male might need a moment to absorb the influx of information. It was quite obvious that the sudden confrontation overwhelmed him. Who would expect to be suddenly confronted with their mistakes? On the other hand, he wanted to give the brunet police officer a chance to explain his behaviour. And that's just what Daichi did. Or at least that's what he attempted to do.

"I – I know I messed this up and hitting him was a terrible mistake. I didn't _want_ to hurt him, I swear! It's... I don't know! To say that the work had accumulated is no excuse, and does not justify that I had vented my frustration on him and therefore frightened him enough to hide away from me... I just thought that a little distance would be better for us, so I took a bag to stay away for a couple of days."

Daichi lowered his gaze and stopped his stuttering for a moment. The police officer knew that there was just not a single reason he could offer that would somehow make the entire ordeal any more acceptable. And he wasn't even aware of the problems his absence and the unresolved argument had caused. Yet. Akaashi, Kenma and Oikawa definitely weren't convinced one bit, not to mention that they weren't going to forgive him for what he had done just like that. Especially because his explanation still didn't explain anything.

However, before either of Suga's self-proclaimed 'guardians' could butt in, the brunet officer resolved himself and continued a little softer, "It wasn't my intention to be gone for as long as I have. About two days after that horrible evening, just when I made up my mind with the intention of going back home, I got a sudden call from my mother, that she needed me at home because dad fell ill and... I couldn't deny her in a time like that despite my private situation. Without me noticing it, 2 weeks went by and I didn't get much of an opportunity to fix this mess. I was so worried because Koushi had stopped contacting me and I honestly didn't know how to initiate contact after our lack of communication. To be honest, I just got back from Miyagi and Hajime already gave me an ear full earlier..."

That story earned him the attention of the other three. Not quite with pity or sympathy, but a general understanding of the situation from his point of view. At least they could be certain now, that Daichi didn't just run away from confronting the ash-blond. Something especially Oikawa was relieved about, considering how he had already expected the worst. Surprisingly, it was Kenma who voiced the main issue. For his boyfriend, however, it was actually just what he expected from the smaller male. The Pudding Head was, after all, a major in psychology, had supported a close friend through their own therapy sessions and was therefore quite knowledgeable about the sensitive subject. He was probably one of the most suitable contact persons even.

Thus, the quiet blond walked up to Daichi and his friends and offered his own explanation.

"It's good that you're feeling remorseful about it, but you should get in touch with him as soon as possible. Suga-San is staying with me and Keiji right now, because he couldn't handle being alone anymore. I don't want to imply that it is solely your fault, though. You know Hinata, right? Shou has told me that his depression had started to resurface weeks before you even got into the argument, something he was able to recognize because he had to deal with depression himself years ago." Kenma stopped talking for a second when Daichi's eyes widened, shock evident on his face. But the Pudding Head wasn't done with his revelation yet. Unfortunately, that is.

Once he was sure that the brunet was able to take in more information, Kenma continued as if he had never interrupted his own little speech. "Hence he had been able to detect a few warning signs. Such as working himself to exhaustion, constant tiredness and sleeping problems. Suga had been more irritable and sensitive and grew more disappointed the longer you guys were kept apart by both of your busy schedules. Which is probably one of the reasons why your argument escalated in the first place. The whole thing went downhill after you left him without as much of an explanation, causing him to sink deep into his depression again. Again, I don't want to blame you, I just want you to be aware of the fact that your soulmate is in serious need of professional help and he needs your full support as well."

Everyone quieted down after the enormous speech Kenma just offered. It was highly unusual for the Pudding Head to talk for such lengths, to _scold_ someone even, so it wasn't too surprising that even his childhood friend was a little startled at what just occurred. Frankly, everyone had forgotten that Kuroo was even in the room with them, watching the entire exchange, though that wasn't really important at the moment. What was important, was that Daichi began to understand just how much of an impact his actions had. The brunet was in shock, which was understandable in the situation he found himself in. Who wouldn't be after learning that their loved one, soulmate even, was suffering because of them? Daichi was clearly haunted by guilt now that he got the whole story, and he was really starting to hate himself for his own stupidity. Just why hadn't he called or texted his Koushi to make amends?! Maybe, just maybe he could have intervened before his partner had sunken so low. If only he had been there...

Ultimately, it was Oikawa who wrapped up the story with something akin to a warning, "And before you play down what I - no we - are telling you, this isn't a topic we would joke about. I won't give you the details about it, since it's not my place to tell you, but I'll have you know that I have never seen him look so forlorn and hopeless before. We helped him, tried everything we could think of to get his mind out of the dark places he got trapped in, but this isn't going to vanish just like that once you guys actually talked this out. Believe me, if Kou-Chan wouldn't love you so goddamn much, I would kick your ass so hard right here, right now. But I don't think he would appreciate it if I did that, so I'm going to leave you with a warning: If you you ever dare to hurt our Kou-Chan again, you're not going to get away with that! He is _family_ no matter what!"

Oikawa had gotten clearly a little louder than necessary in the end, though he also didn't even try to mask the frustration he felt towards Daichi. This was about his best friend, someone who went through hell and suicide attempts in his teenage-years. Someone who reverted into his old, guarded self after a simple, unnecessary argument. The things Akaashi told him were shocking and worrisome and Oikawa had sworn to himself to get him out of this hellish cycle, before he could endanger his life for real. And if shouting at Suga's soulmate was the only thing to could start at least some sort of progress, then so be it. Honestly, it felt quite good to vent his anger out at Daichi, even if his own situation hadn't been the best.

And apparently, his _little_ outburst had also alerted his own soulmate. Oikawa _had_ known that his fiancé was in the office today to fill in for a sick officer and help with some paperwork. What he hadn't expected, however, was the sudden entrance of Iwaizumi, who was apparently ready to fight whatever intruder was messing with his colleague. If the fact that he had raised his weapon and shouted, "What the fuck is going on here?!" when he stormed into the room, was anything to go by. Everyone stared wide-eyed at the police officer for a moment, definitely startled, seeing how Kenma immediately hid behind his now defensive positioned boyfriend while Oikawa jumped right where he stood in fright. Iwaizumi's eyes wandered between the visitors and Daichi for a couple seconds before he relaxed. Nobody could really blame him for overreacting though, since his line of work did include dangerous situations. It wouldn't be the first time that an officer was being threatened. Daichi dissipated the tense atmosphere with a flick of the hand and short explanation for his colleague, which finally allowed everyone to take deep breaths again.

Iwaizumi strolled towards his pregnant partner and pushed him onto his chair, obviously displeased with his presence and scolded him, "What the hell are you doing here? You know that you shouldn't strain yourself by coming all this way out here. And before you say anything else; I can see that you're exhausted and uncomfortable."

The brunet simply pouted at that and mumbled, "I'm perfectly fine Iwa-Chan. We just had to knock some sense into _someone_ here. You wouldn't let me, so I went with Ken-Chan and Kej-Chan, who also wanted to convince Sawa-Chan that he fucked up big time."

His partner sighed and shook his head, and shoved a water bottle into his hands with an unspoken order. Tooru didn't even complain and accepted the drink, while he leaned into his soulmate's body. Without a care, Iwaizumi run his fingers through Tooru's hair, eliciting a delighted hum from his partner. It was an adorable sight, and the exact opposite of what the brunet had been like before. Even Iwaizumi couldn't hide his cute, little smile when he noticed how his soulmate leaned into the touch. Daichi was honestly a little jealous of his colleague, who could fool around with his fiancé like that, and he was overcome with even greater regret, since he and Koushi could be the same, hadn't he neglected him after their stupid fight.

His disappointed expression didn't go unnoticed by Kenma and Akaashi, who also felt like they were accidentally intruding on a very private moment. At the same time, it was the sign for them to leave, sensing that their duty was done and Oikawa was obviously in good hands. Tooru at least didn't look like he wanted to leave his spot anytime soon. The brunet was way too comfortable in Iwaizumi's arms and waved lazily goodbye from where he snuggled into his partner. With their goodbyes said, the couple left the police station, a little surprised at how late it had gotten already. Still, they had achieved quite a bit for the sake of Sugawara today, so it was fine for either of them. It didn't feel like a waste of their day off like that.

Akaashi placed a gentle kiss on his lover's head and whispered, "I think that was a good idea. Maybe now, Sawamura will start acting like the boyfriend, he is supposed to be. Let's get some takeout on our way back to celebrate for a change, too, Suga must be hungry by now."

Kenma agreed immediately with that offer, since it wasn't often that his partner offered to get takeout for them. Too unhealthy he always said. Since the Pudding Head tended to enjoy fast food whenever he was busy with work (whenever his boyfriend wasn't keeping his eyes on him due to his own rotating shift work), it was definitely a win-win situation for him. Sugawara's situation had been taking care of, or at least they managed to incite Daichi to resolve their issue, and a delicious meal was pretty much waiting for them. Today had been a pretty good day so far, so what could possibly go wrong if they took a little detour?


	43. Chapter 43: Unexpected Complications

**Chapter 43: Unexpected Complications**

If one were to ask Sugawara about his day, he would probably describe it as pretty shitty so far. He hadn't expected his day to worsen with each passing hour, despite his nice and relaxed breakfast with Kenma and Akaashi, and yet it didn't look like fate was on his side that day. Not only had he slipped over a wet spot in the bathroom, successfully falling onto his butt, when he had decided to be a nice guest and clean the apartment to pass some time, he had also burned the meal, Akaashi had prepared for him because he had spaced out a for a bit. His mood hadn't improved much afterwards either, since his best friend was out for some appointment, Hinata was too busy with Yachi at the kindergarten to talk, Yaku was still travelling and contacting Daichi was still no possibility, as much as it sucked. Everything so far frustrated him to no end, to the point that he kind of just wanted to crawl into bed and hide away for the remainder of the day. Something that would be exactly the opposite of what his friends thought of these so-called "mental-health-days" because brooding definitely wouldn't improve his unusually frazzled nerves. Of course, he could also call Akaashi like he had promised, but that would be really unnecessary, right? Complaining about a shitty day would be way too much, even if his friends had promised him that anything, no matter how trivial, was important if it affected his mood.

Thus, Sugawara did the next best thing and retreated to the sofa in the living room, where he snuggled under some blankets with a few snacks and a hot chocolate. By _no means_ pouting. There wasn't anything particularly interesting on TV at the moment, which is why the ashen-haired male kept glancing at his phone. Part of him was hoping for a message from Daichi, but since that didn't happen in the past two weeks, maybe it was him who should make the first move? He wasn't totally innocent when it comes to how the argument escalated the way it did, after all... Trying shouldn't hurt, right? The worst that could happen, would be to get rejected, right? His biggest problem was that the mere thought made him anxious, but he had promised himself and his friends that he wouldn't run away anymore. Once he fought off the approaching panic, he took his phone out and typed a quick message. Better now, before he could chicken out again.

 _[Suga]:_ „ _Hey, Daichi... I know this might be sudden, but I really wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened between us. I haven't been at my best that time and I let my feelings get the better of me. It's just my depression weighing me down again, something I had felt coming for a while actually. I guess I stayed silent about it because I didn't want to burden you any further, since you had been stressed out enough from work. Sorry for being so clingy and pathetic. I just miss you so much and I'm really, truly sorry, even if I hadn't been able to tell you all of this sooner. I wanted to, but... you could say I lost myself quite a bit and I really doubted myself for a while. I hope you don't hate me or anything after everything that happened. Text me back, if you feel like it. I love you."_

Sugawara hit the 'send' button as soon as he finished the text message, even if it took him a few attempts and a lot of rewriting before he was somewhat satisfied with its context. There was no going back now! Nobody needed to know that he switched off his mobile immediately afterwards and hid it under one of the pillows. He wasn't running from this! He just needed... Some time to prepare himself? Not to mention, that he wasn't ready to confront his soulmate just yet. Considering the tough luck he had had today, Suga didn't want to push it. Who knows how bad _that_ could backfire. Maybe he would check his phone for new messages in a few hours, when he felt more ready for it. With the intention to distract himself from the growing unease in his chest, the ash-blond spent some time with a random cooking show. It helped pass some time, but it didn't do much for his nerves. Which is why he decided to get up and help himself to a little dinner, even if he was a little jittery that day. That way, he could also give Akaashi and Kenma something back for all the support they had given him.

Having stayed with his friends for a couple of days, and after the thorough check in with Akaashi this morning, Sugawara knew exactly where he could find whatever he needed to cook a healthy meal. Since Akaashi took great interest in freshly prepared dishes, the couple always stored various vegetables and fruits, as well as anything else you might need for a fulfilling meal. Thus, he decided to make a vegetable stew with a recipe from his phone. At first, he had been unsure about switching on his phone again, worried that Daichi might have tried to contact him in the meantime, but since that apparently didn't happen so far, he could sigh with relief. It wasn't like he _didn't_ want to get in touch with him - just not now, when he was so rattled. Due to the latter, cutting the vegetables took a little longer than it usually would, seeing how Sugawara lost his focus from time to time and therefore needed a few seconds to gather himself again. He didn't want to repeat the incident that brought him to his two friends in the first place after all.

Once everything was boiling, the ash-blond busied himself with cleaning of all the bowls and utensils he had used in his preparations. This time, however, with the utmost care. Which made it almost ironic that he completely missed it, when a piece of potato skin went flying off the kitchen counter when he swiped it clean. A tiny piece just in the way of Sugawara. As chance would have it, Suga stepped straight onto it, slipped and lost his footing. A loud crash, accompanied with Suga's yelp echoed throughout the entire flat, yet there was nobody there to hear it this time. Noise, that was followed by an ominous silence.

Unaware of Sugawara's troubles at home, Akaashi and Kenma were strolling through the mall at a leisurely pace. Since neither of them had received any sort of message from Sugawara throughout the whole afternoon, they were convinced that everything was just fine with him. Hence, they stopped by Kenma's frequently visited game store, went window shopping and even took a short break in a cafe to enjoy some hot beverages. Only their sense of duty brought them back on track, since they didn't want to leave their friend alone at home for too long. So, to save at least some time, they split up to get the last few things they came here for in the first place. While Kenma was at the food court ordering some Chinese takeout for the three of them, his partner was getting a few more groceries. Some snacks and wine to be exact - after all, today's events still deserved a little celebration, even if Sugawara couldn't possibly know about it yet. Unless, Daichi had decided to show some courage by now and got in touch with his partner, after he got confronted with his mistake in the afternoon. They would know it soon enough. However, since the weekend was right around the corner, the mall was as busy as one would expect, meaning it took them a little longer to get everything they needed. At first, the couple didn't mind the extra time they had to spend in the mall, though. That is until Kenma received an alarming call when he just got their food.

A little surprised that Sugawara would call him first, Kenma asked, "Suga? Do you need anything?"

It took longer than Kenma liked before Suga answered, and when he did, he sounded worryingly feeble, "Huh? Oh, I didn't mean to… 'm sorry. I messed up."

Hearing that, the Pudding Head inquired, "What do you mean? Did something happen?"

And when an answer never came, he pressed further, "I need you to talk to me, Suga! Can you hear me? Do you need help?"

A small "Sorry," was all that left the ash-blond's lips, a phrase so simple, yet unnerving in the way it came out, that Kenma all but ran to the car. For once, he forgot his fear of crowds and pushed through as fast as his legs could carry him, never once stopping even when he shoved his small body a bit more forcefully between a person or two. All the time he tried to get a conversation going with Sugawara, his friend, however, didn't seem to be capable of holding a proper conversation right now. And the few things he did mutter only upset the blond further.

"Just woke up, but my body won't listen to me… I- I'm scared, Kenma! I'm so dizzy an' I can't breath and, and my eye's are blurry... There- there is just so much red stuff!"

Kenma wasn't even sure if Sugawara could hear or understand his questions, especially because said ash-blond went totally silent by now, with the exception of his little gasps for air. Whatever happened, they needed to get there _immediately_! Luckily, Akaashi just closed the trunk when his partner came running, looking up with worry at the view his breathless boyfriend provided.

The Pudding Head all but jumped into the car and yelled, "Keiji, we must hurry! Something bad happened, and I don't know what, but Suga sounds too quiet and weak and he doesn't talk to me and he could be _dying_ if we don't get going right NOW!"

Akaashi complied without question and sped down the streets to their apartment. At first, Kenma had tried to keep it cool, so that he wouldn't set off his friend on the other side of the phone. His composure, however, flew out of the window the moment Suga's call got cancelled and Kenma couldn't get a hold of his obviously endangered friend again. To prevent himself from hyperventilating as well, Kenma called for an ambulance in advance, so that help was at least on its way even before they got home. That way they wouldn't waste precious minutes. In the end, it took them only a few minutes, since there weren't many cars in their way and the mall itself wasn't too far from their home. Though, that didn't do anything to ease their growing fear. Once they reached their destination, Akaashi was ready to kick the door open. Just what could have happened on that one day they left their dear friend alone? Especially because he had been fine when they got going in the morning. The moment the door was unlocked, the couple rushed into the house and immediately split up to find him as fast as possible.

Ultimately, it was Kenma who stumbled across the ashen-haired male and he honestly wasn't sure if he was happy about that. He felt sick to the stomach and actually had to fight uprising nausea upon laying his eyes on the gruesome sight in front of him: Sugawara lay in a huge puddle of his own blood, his complexion was deathly pale and from what Kenma could see, he was still bleeding from a large cut near his left wrist. It was the single cut Akaashi had been concerned about and Kenma understood the reason for his worry now. From what it looked like, his friend must have stumbled somehow and had ripped open the old wound on the corner of one of their kitchen counters, which had some blood sticking to the single corner that had caused this mess. The Pudding Head fell on his knees to check for a pulse, pretty much working on autopilot right now. Much to his relief, he could feel a pulse, even if it was a weak one. In his haste to wrap the bleeding wrist with one of the clean kitchen towels they stored next to where he knelt, the Pudding Head never heard his partner calling out to him from another room. Luckily, Akaashi had already brought their first-aid-kit along, when he scampered into the kitchen.

As he took in all the damage and the way his partner was slowly working himself into a panic, he hissed softly, "Shit, shit, shit! Kenma… Try taking a deep breath, okay? It- It's better if you don't look at this mess. Get up and lead the paramedics for me, will you? They must arrive any minute now. I will take over here and I will try whatever I can to stop Suga from bleeding out. As much as it hurts me to say this, but you can't help in this situation and I don't want you to faint as well, honey."

Kenma didn't react immediately to his soulmate, the ringing of the doorbell, however, was enough to startle him out of his shock. Since he knew that there was no time to lose, he scrambled back on his feet as fast as possible. What happened after he instructed the paramedics to get into the kitchen was completely blurry for him, he only realized that a lot of noise came out of the kitchen, Sugawara was carted over to the ambulance on a stretcher with a breathing tube lodged into his throat and then a couple of hands took a hold of his own shoulders. It seems that whoever was in front of him tried to get him out of his daze. Luckily, it was only Akaashi, who understood very well how shocking this must be for his soulmate, therefore, wrapped his partner in a tight hug.

A gesture like that helped Kenma to ground himself again and after taking a few shaky breaths, he whispered, "I want you to go with them, Keiji… You know him and your information could really save his life this time. Be there for Suga and help him. I- I'll stay here for a while and go to Kuroo later. Please… I would feel better if you were there with him."

Akaashi definitely wasn't sure if this was for the best now with how shaken up his partner was, but it was true that he was familiar with Sugawara's medical files. After considering his options for a moment, he decided to follow his boyfriend's request. Since it had been his colleagues, who arrived as their paramedics, Akaashi could jump into the ambulance without problem, seeing how he could always defend his case as being a nurse, should someone question why he was with them. That way, he could also go straight to helping the unconscious Sugawara. Although, it hurt him to leave his boyfriend alone after such a terrible accident, the blond wouldn't have given in to any other solution.

Luckily, Kenma was smart enough, to not rush to the police station in his current state of anxiety and panic. Since he really needed to get these horrible pictures out of his head, he grabbed their cleaning supplies and got started on scrubbing the kitchen clean. Mopping up all the blood from the kitchen floor was the toughest part of it, simply because of the amount of it and the thoughts of what-ifs that ran through the blond's head. If Sugawara hadn't called him earlier by accident, they could have gone home to a dead body on their kitchen floor, blissfully unaware until they would have stepped inside. The mere idea of that scenario made Kenma terribly sick and he had a hard time fighting off the urge to vomit this time. Despite of how morbid the entire task was, cleaning their kitchen to the point that it smelled of cleaning supplies and disinfectant calmed him down to a certain degree. Now that he was more aware of his actual surroundings something entirely different made him scrunch up his nose. The thing that caught his attention next, was the awful smell of something burnt. A weird mixture, if you count in the fresh, almost biting smell of his vigorous cleaning result. That was when he caught sight of a pot on top of the stove, something that must have been turned off by one of the paramedics or even Akaashi earlier, seeing how the stove plate was still warm. The pot itself was completely ruined - no point in saving that, so he threw it straight into the bin - and from Sugawara's phone, sitting on the counter close to the stove, it became obvious that the ashen-haired male had attempted to finish a vegetable stew for dinner. In his haste to clean, Kenma had also stumbled across a tiny piece of potato skin. Something so tiny, yet relevant to explain the accident. With Sugawara's naturally slowed wound healing added to the mix, Kenma could piece together, how such a small incident could have gone so wrong. Who would have guessed that something as horrible as that could happen on that one day they were out for some business?

After Kenma cleaned off the rest of the kitchen, or rather the parts where Suga hadn't been able to continue, he changed into some fresh, blood-free clothes and went outside to get to the police station. Quite some time had passed due to his cleaning session since Sugawara was brought to the hospital and he still hadn't received any updates on his status. It worried him, but there wasn't much he could do right now, so he got into Akaashi's car and drove back to the police station. A quick message to his childhood friend, Kuroo, reassured him of the fact that the Rooster Head was indeed still in the office, hanging out with Bokuto, Daichi, Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Kenma certainly didn't feel like taking any unnecessary trips right now, if he could avoid it. When he stepped into the police department, he seemed to arrive at a good time for the second time that day. The police officer recognized Kenma from his previous visit and brought him to his best friend without question, seeing how it wasn't too unusual for Kenma to hang out with the black-haired detective.

The moment he slipped into the office, Bokuto and Iwaizumi were caught up in an arm-wrestling match, one that Iwaizumi seemed to win without much difficulty. Kenma could only guess that this must have been the idea of this owlish idiot, with his crazily spiked, black and white hair. Kuroo and Oikawa were loudly cheering for their respective partners, whilst Daichi had a pained expression on his face and seemed to act as referee in the middle of this mess. And these were the guys, Tokyo citizens put their faith into to preserve their safety? It was only when Kenma cleared his throat loud enough for the others to hear, that his presence was acknowledged. A sound that distracted Bokuto enough to lose his focus on his competition, leading to Iwaizumi's effortless win.

Kuroo noticed him standing awkwardly in the door and greeted him curiously, "Oh, you're back? Must have missed me terribly if you're coming in twice today! Not that I mind seeing my best friend! Did Akaashi finally throw you out?"

Now that Kenma caught the attention of everyone in the room and got therefore bombarded by questions, the blond began to regret his decision slightly. And it also made him aware of the fact, that he hadn't thought of what he would even tell him them about the situation. In the end, it was Daichi, who shushed everyone in the room to give Kenma finally some time to explain his surprise visit. At first, the Pudding Head tried to deny that he had a specific reason for showing up, only told them that Keiji was too busy with Sugawara at the moment. Which, in a morbid way, was more than true. Kuroo, however, was truly suspicious about Kenma's visit, because it was highly unusually for Kenma to show up twice a day for no apparent reason. And his suspicions were confirmed shortly only a few minutes into the visit, when Kenma's phone rang - effectively startling the blond. Seeing him frantically fumble for his phone and dropping it twice in the process, was enough to worry even Bokuto, who was as easy-going and positive as one could be.

Without paying any mind to the people around him, Kenma picked up the phone and inquired, "Keiji, please tell me you've got good news!"

Akaashi didn't answer immediately, which only increased Kenma's worries. He explained softly, "It might be better if you sit down before I start explaining everything... Are you with somebody right now?"

"I'm at the police department with Kuroo and the guys from earlier. Bokuto is here too. What's wrong? Is he...? Is it that bad?" the blond whispered, while turning his back to his onlookers. He didn't sit down like requested, but he did lean his back against the wall for some kind of support. Before Akaashi spoke up again, he had to take a deep breath, most likely to get his own emotions under control.

"It's complicated to say the least. Since I am a close friend of him, I wasn't allowed to treat him myself, seeing how my personal feelings could have interfered with my work. The doctor who treated him, a colleague of mine, told me that they actually almost lost him twice because of the large amount of blood he lost. Almost two litre to be precise. He is now in the intensive care unit and had to be put into an induced coma to avoid long-term damages. He was also given artificial respiration. Suga is stable for now and under observation all the time, so somebody will always be close by should anything else happen. God, what a mess... If we had been home only a few minutes later, things could have ended entirely different!"

Kenma went into shock after hearing the whole story, similar to when they first found him bleeding out on their floor. This time, however, in front of a bunch of persons who didn't even have the slightest clue to what horrors had happened not too long ago. _Now_ , Kenma understood why his soulmate had asked him to sit down. And sliding down the wall in front of his best friend and various other people he knew wasn't something he was proud of, but he couldn't stop his legs from giving out due to the advancing panic attack. Akaashi, who could tell by the way Kenma's breathing quickened couldn't do much right now, despite trying to talk him out of it, but at least he knew that his boyfriend wasn't alone right now. Kenma let go of his phone by accident, ending the call with that, and he could only stare blankly at his pale hands. Vivid images of bloody fingers and an unconscious Sugawara, lying unmoving in a huge pool of blood filled his mind once again. As well as the fear of losing his friend while he was unable to do anything.

Kuroo, who was obviously freaking out right now, moved to sit down next to his childhood friend without making a conscious decision. With practised moves and memorized lines, he tried his best to get Kenma out of his panic attack. Luckily for Kuroo _and_ Kenma, this wasn't the first time they had gone through this with Kenma's social anxiety and all. Even if it took a few minutes, before Kuroo could actually touch his friend again, they managed to get through it without any difficulty and Kenma could be moved into the chair Daichi offered them. Oikawa (and Iwaizumi – just in case) had left to grab a bottle of water and some sweets for the smaller male and Bokuto gave his best friend, Akaashi, a call to reassure him of the fact that his soulmate was well cared for.

Once Kenma had finally got back to his senses, he realized he was face to face with Kuroo, who knelt in front of him. The Pudding Head squeezed Kuroo's hands to show his appreciation and accepted everything the others had gotten him. Nobody urged him on to spit out whatever had happened, which Kenma was truly grateful about, since he could use these few, calm minutes to collect his thoughts again. He didn't feel like delivering a speech at the moment, thus he decided to say this as direct and short as possible. It became obvious to him that everyone was worried about him. Something completely understandable, considering that the blond broke down in front of them all.

Therefore, before any of them could question what had triggered the attack, the blond confessed, "Keiji called me just now. Sugawara is in hospital, in an induced coma and things aren't looking good right now."

And that was something neither of them had ever wanted to hear. Most of all Daichi, who felt as if his world just came crumbling down on him.


	44. Chapter 44: The Ugly Truth

**Chapter 44: The Ugly Truth**

"What?! What do you mean, Kou-Chan is in hospital?! And even in a coma! You PROMISED me that he would be alright when we left this morning! How could that even happen?!" Oikawa screamed at poor Kenma, as soon as he could find his voice after getting such shocking news. Getting mad was definitely not the right solution at the moment, but nobody could blame Oikawa for it. After all, everyone knew that he had gone to the police station to solve the main issue in his best friend's life, which was the unresolved argument and the insecurities this brought along. And now said friend was in intensive care! Of course, the brunet knew that neither Kenma nor Akaashi were at fault here, but that knowledge didn't do much in his highly emotional state.

Before the brunet could attack Kenma any further, Kuroo shielded his childhood friend some more and asked carefully, "How did this happen? I've only gotten the gist of it earlier, something about depression? Was it some kind of accident or… Was it intentional?"

At times like this, it was pretty much obvious that Sugawara's friends would be scared beyond belief, so it was upon the less affected ones to watch out for said friends. Which was exactly what Iwaizumi, Bokuto and Kuroo attempted to do. Just remembering the accident sent shivers up the blond's spine, whereupon Kuroo instinctively drew him closer to his body. At the same time, Iwaizumi pulled his own, distraught partner on his lap, softly massaging his tense shoulders in hope to calm him down as well. Bokuto, who noticed how irregular Daichi's breathing was getting, tried his best to get him out of his state of shock, even if he wasn't exactly good at that. His best friend, Akaashi, would do a way better job at that, but since he was equally overwhelmed by the entire situation, the owlish man couldn't ask for his advice. Daichi, whose heart leapt into his throat the moment those fatal words fell, surprisingly did calm down to some degree. Most likely because of the calming air the unusually serious Bokuto was emitting.

When those affected were effectively cared for, Kenma explained hastily, "It was a terrible accident in our kitchen. From what I think, he must have slipped over some forgotten potato skin and ripped open an older injury. You see, Sugawara's depressive episode, worsened by his unresolved situation with Sawamura-San, resulted in Suga turning to self-harm as some kind of relief, which caught him in a dangerous cycle… Since his injuries also heal slower than normal, an especially critical cut didn't heal properly." Kenma stopped his speech for a moment to catch his breath, before he continued quietly. "He called me when Keiji and I were on our way home from our first visit here, he told me that he had 'messed up' and that he was bleeding badly. And that was a mere coincidence! We only stopped by the mall for a bit to get some food and take a breather in a cafe, because we were honestly sure that he would be fine on his own. But when I received this call, we went home as fast as we could. I was the one who found him lying in a huge pool of his own blood, but it was Keiji, who did most of the work, went with him to the hospital as well, because… I couldn't do anything for him since I was panicking too much. He was unconscious by then and so, so weak..."

While the news itself was a nightmare for those in the office, they were at least relieved that Sugawara hadn't attempted to take his life. Daichi, however, was completely overwhelmed by it all. Not only had he learned in the morning that his soulmate was in dire need of help because of a depression that got worse because of Daichi's misjudgment, but now Suga had also intentionally hurt himself because of that! Even to the extent that it could be life-threatening injuries! If only Daichi had been more observant, then maybe… Maybe he would have noticed the first signs of the relapsing depression. But why hadn't he seen any of that coming? Despite all of the stress he had been under those few weeks ago, he surely would have noticed some changes in his beloved partner, wouldn't he? More importantly, why hadn't Koushi said anything to him?

Just when those questions started piling up in Daichi's mind, the ringing of his phone startled Daichi out of his daze. It was Koushi's mother, Yuki.

In all honesty, Daichi wasn't prepared to talk to his boyfriend's mother _at all_ , not with their unsolved argument going on. Still, running away at such a crucial moment was definitely out of question, so he excused himself to answer the call.

Out in the hallway, he answered the phone and was immediately greeted by the loud and shrill shouting of his future-mother-in-law, "I'm so glad you answered Daichi! I don't even know how to start this… The hospital called me just now. My sweet little Koushi was brought in earlier today and… He was put in a coma because he lost too much blood in a kitchen accident! Could you- Is it possible for you to come over? I know you two have some unresolved tension between you, but… I think he would want you here. Even if it's late already."

"Yeah, I heard of it just now from his friend, Kozume. If I had known that his mental health was decreasing as bad as I was told, I would have gotten in touch with him so much earlier! I didn't notice that he was slipping away, and then I barked at him just because I was so irritated from work that night and ran off without talking to him! I could, no, I should have supported him before he got this bad! This- All of this is my fault only..."

Before Daichi could ramble on any further, Koushi's mother interrupted him softly, "Please calm down, Daichi. Blaming yourself for what you could have done back then, won't change anything now. The things you can affect, though, is what you do from now on. Be there for my son, show him how much he means to you and prove him that. I know, I am not someone who should give advice like that, since I only got my own chance to make things right after almost 10 years, but you are different. You _are_ the most important person in his life now."

That shut him up efficiently. Somehow, the way she spoke to him just now, reminded him a lot of his boyfriend - strict, yet gentle and straightforward when it mattered. Nonetheless, it didn't do much for the strong guilt building up inside him. Was Koushi's mother not angry at him for hurting her son involuntarily? His own mother would definitely bite off his head for hurting her son-in-law, now that he thought of it…

Since Daichi was still unsure if this was the right thing to do, he asked worriedly, "Is it really alright for me to show up? For you as well?"

Yuki only sighed at his question and reassured him gently, "I know you are worried, Daichi. I understand your worry, I do, and I can't deny that I am disappointed at the way things escalated between you two. BUT. I can tell that you are genuinely feeling awful about what happened, so I trust you to make the right decisions now. I would also feel a bit better if you showed up here… I wasn't allowed to see my sweet, little baby boy yet and I suppose it would help having you here with me… Hospitals aren't my favourite place to be at this time of the day under such serious circumstances."

With that, Daichi felt a little more relieved and he promised Yuki to get going right away. The only thing he needed to do, was telling his colleague and the rest of their visitors. He didn't want to worry them further by leaving without a word. Luckily for him, Iwaizumi had stepped out to check on his friend and colleague, seeing how he had been gone for quite some time for the phone call. Daichi cast a determined gaze at his colleague – a look that said more than any words could right now. Iwaizumi sent him away without commenting on it, since he was well aware of how awful it was when a soulmate is in danger or any kind of pain.

The ride to the hospital didn't take long even if it felt more like an eternity went by before he saw the familiar entrance sign. Not many cars parked in front of the building by the time he arrived, enabling him to park right next to the entrance door. While he was well aware of the fact that hospitals like this one did everything they could to save and treat patients, Daichi had mixed feelings about this place. To be honest, he absolutely _hated_ the mere sight of the building. After all, the last few times hadn't been happy occasions with his daughter's death, followed by the assault of his boyfriend's workplace. The second one, in fact.

Yuki was already waiting for him at the door, where she greeted him with a gentle hug and led him towards the intensive care unit. Neither of them dared to speak up, both too focused on their wish to reach Suga as soon as possible. Daichi was becoming more anxious with each step and the silence between Yuki and him didn't help the already tense atmosphere. And then, all of a sudden, they stood in front of Koushi's assigned room. Despite the fact that visiting hours were long over, a doctor waited for them.

Said doctor turned to the late visitors and spoke in a hushed voice, "Good evening. My name is Michiko Nozomi and I am responsible for Sugawara-Kun. Please follow me, Sugawara-San, Sawamura-San. But please be quiet, seeing how late it already is. It's unusual to allow visitors at such a late time, but considering the serious circumstances under which Sugawara-Kun was brought here, we are willing to make an exception."

Seeing how Yuki tensed up at these words, Daichi came to the conclusion that she must have waited for him before she went to see her son. It wasn't a reaction he had expected, seeing how he would have understood it completely if she had rushed to her son's side the moment she arrived at the hospital. With bated breath, both stepped into Suga's room, a room way too sterile and empty for their taste. Sugawara, linked to so many cables, with an IV to support his weakened body and a breathing tube lodged into his throat was a sight neither of them had ever wanted to witness. It was something not even their worst nightmares could have produced. Especially Daichi, who should be more used to the sight of injured people due to his job as a police officer, couldn't even begin to describe what this horrific scenario triggered in him. For a few seconds, Daichi was transfixed to the spot. His Koushi was so, so pale and it looked like all life had left him. The hospital equipment made it look all the more serious, even if it was there to ensure his lover's survival. And the fact alone that all of it was necessary was worrying at least. How could things have gotten out of control like that? When Daichi snapped out of his daze, he moved to his lover's side where he took a seat. Yuki, who was already seated at his other side, had grabbed her son's limp hand, while she waited for the doctor to speak up again.

Once the doctor was certain that both late visitors were perceptive enough, she explained softly, "I know it must be hard for both of you, seeing your family member in such a state, so I'm going to make it short. By the time Sugawara-Kun was found, he had been unconscious due to the loss of blood. The cause of it was a self-inflicted injury on his left wrist - a wound that hadn't been properly treated. Which is why it could rip open when he fell, as I was informed by Akaashi-San." Doctor Michiko paused her speech for a moment to contemplate her next words.

"I'm not going to lie about it: if help would have arrived a few minutes later, it might have been too late to save him. Truth to be told, we actually lost him twice, but managed to bring him back each time. It was a close call, however, therefore we put him into an induced coma to prevent further damage and to promote the healing process. We also gave him a blood infusion to make up for the amount he lost. Now all we can do is wait and observe his recovery process."

Despite already knowing the gist of things, hearing it from a professional was frightening for Daichi. While it had been a serious issue from the start, the medical explanation proved that Koushi's situation was not to be taken lightly. The brunet tuned out the voice of Doctor Michiko and instead, focused on his sleeping soulmate. _If he only were asleep..._ Even though the lights were dimmed to simulate the late evening, Daichi could see everything. Saw the countless cuts covering his lover's arms, none of them fully healed and he saw the dark bags under his eyes. He had completely fucked up, hadn't he? Could all of this have been avoided? Was there even anything he could have done to prevent Koushi's depression from getting as bad as it had in the end?

 _Why didn't I notice anything? If only I had looked out for him like I promised! I SWORE to protect him, so that he wouldn't suffer any more and yet I failed horribly! There are just so many wounds on him now, all because of my lack of attention... I am such a horrible boyfriend… And I almost lost him without getting a chance to apologize!_

As it dawned on him that his beloved boyfriend had been indeed close to dying, Daichi could feel his heart breaking. As the mere thought of losing him hit Daichi, he couldn't suppress the sobs escaping his quivering lips and tears welled up in his eyes. The brunet buried his face in the soft mattress and began tearing his hair out in despair. Before he could actually hurt himself, a hand found its way in his hair. The sensation of fingers carding through his hair was soothing in a way and Daichi was certain that it must be Koushi's mother. Yuki didn't say anything as there was nothing she could say in this situation, so she stuck to caressing him, while shedding tears of her own. There was nothing they could do now but wait for Koushi to recover on his own. Hopefully without any more incidents.


	45. Chapter 45: I don't want to lose you

**Chapter 45: "I don't want to lose you."**

Sleep didn't come easy for Daichi the night after his soulmate had been delivered to the hospital. In fact he didn't get a wink of sleep at all due to how anxious he felt. When was the last time he had to sleep on his own, besides the past weeks when he stayed with his parents? After all these months together with Koushi, and sharing the bed with him for what felt like an eternity already, it was awfully cold without his loved one by his side. It didn't help at all that he was consumed by immense guilt and that he was completely on edge the entire time. In the end, Daichi gave up trying to get some shut eye, so he stood up at the crack of dawn, with evident bags under his eyes. There was simply no use in trying to sleep with how worried he was, so he decided to go for a jog in the cold morning air. That way, he hoped he would be able to clear his head a little. Not that it stopped his mind from wandering to his suffering partner and the life-threatening issue _he_ had provoked. Daichi _knew_ that it was all on him, no matter how strongly he tried to convince himself that it wasn't the case. In fact, _all of Koushi's friends_ had approached him to make him aware of how bad he messed up, so what else was he supposed to think?

Being alone right now was probably not the best thing, but Daichi understood Yuki's decision to stay with her son in the hospital, even if it left Daichi to fend on his own with his growing self-hate. If he had to be honest, the brunet wasn't entirely sure what exactly happened in the hospital after his breakdown. Confronting such a dire situation had sent him into severe shock - something that left the remainder of the evening in a blank. Hell, he could barely remember how Yuki had managed to get him out of that suffocating hospital room! In addition, the drive back home was also a blur for him! Now that he thought about it, how did he get home in the first place? Yuki - or nobody in their right mind - would have let him drive in such a state, right? Maybe, she did drive him back before she returned to the hospital... That would at least explain the tea on his bedside table and the little note (which he hadn't read before he started jogging).

Nonetheless, that wasn't of importance right now. Important was the well-being, foremost the survival, of his beloved Koushi. His love had gone through so much already and Daichi could only hope that he would forgive him for what had happened between them with time given. The two of them would obviously need to work on a few things in their relationship if Koushi was willing to give them a second chance, maybe even with professional help. But Daichi was prepared to do anything in his power to save this relationship. Even if he had to cut back a little for that to happen. And one of the first things he could do at the moment was getting in touch with his own family. They needed to be informed about the issue as well, especially since they had already accepted the ash-blond as one of their own. They deserved it.

Naturally, this knowledge made it all the more difficult to explain the situation. Once the brunet was home, he went back to the bedroom, wanting to check whatever was written on the note before he made the call to his parents. No, he definitely wasn't prolonging the necessary at all! He was, in fact, curious as to what the mysterious letter contained. It was either something Yuki had written when she left, or something his beloved had left behind before he left _their_ home. It turned out to be the first option. The note read:

 _"Dear Daichi-Kun,_  
 _I hope you were able to get at least a bit of sleep last night. I'm not sure how much you will remember, so I just want to let you know that I brought you home last night and made you eat a little something before bed. If I have to be honest, I feel awful about leaving you alone in such a situation, but I promise that I'll call as soon as I receive news about Koushi's condition. Please take care of yourself. You can stop by anytime._

 _Love, Yuki."_

While it was sweet of her to write such a memory aid, Daichi was honestly a tad disappointed, seeing how he wished that it had been a note written by his boyfriend. Just something would have been nice, no matter how little - something for Daichi to cling to. Oh, how he wished to receive at least some sort of message, reassurement, anything from his loved one… Yet, there wasn't anything he could do about the lack of communication now. In a way, it was his own fault - just like anything else that happened. After shaking his head to get rid of these negative thoughts, he took out his phone, deciding to give his family a call. Daichi paused for a moment, when he noticed a little symbol blinking at the top of his smartphone. Did he miss something in his haste the day before? With a glimmer of hope kindled deep within his heart, he opened the messenger app. It was a text message from Sugawara. His heart leaped into his throat at that and fear spiked his body in anticipation. It was the first and last message the ash-blond had sent between their argument and his accident! What would it say? What did his lover want to tell him yesterday of all days? It could literally be anything; an apology, a confession, even a goodbye! Knowing in his heart that whatever Suga had written was lethal; the brunet opened their chat room.

 _[Suga]: „Hey, Daichi... I know this might be sudden, but I really wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened between us. I haven't been at my best that time and I let my feelings get the better of me. It's just my depression weighing me down again, something I had felt coming for a while actually. I guess I stayed silent about it because I didn't want to burden you any further, since you had been stressed out enough from work. Sorry for being so clingy and pathetic. I just miss you so much and I'm really, truly sorry, even if I hadn't been able to tell you all of this sooner. I wanted to, but... you could say I lost myself quite a bit and I really doubted myself for a while. I hope you don't hate me or anything after everything that happened. Text me back, if you feel like it. I love you."_

Daichi's found himself tearing up a little more with each sentence until he couldn't stop the tears from running freely down his face. His soulmate sought him out, out of guilt for something he couldn't control! Sure, it was heartwarming to read that the ashen-haired beauty still loved him, but Daichi hated the fact that Suga thought of himself as a burden at the same time. Looking at the time at when the text was sent, the brunet realized that it should have been mere hours before the life-threatening accident. Which was honestly a terrifying discovery. Could this accident have been avoided if Daichi saw it and responded to his apology in time? Maybe, just maybe it would have improved Sugawara's condition! Nobody knew how the accident happened in detail, but a fair guess from Akaashi was that the ash-blond had been absent-minded, distracted, fuzzy-headed enough to get himself in the known accident. However, the truth could only come to light with Suga's help, so assumptions were the only thing they had for now.

Luckily, this message also proved that Suga truly didn't plan to end his own life, which was reassuring in a way. And yet, it wasn't making the situation any easier to swallow. The brunet read the message over and over, until he decided to write a text back. Of course, his Koushi wouldn't read it any time soon, but it just felt wrong to leave it completely unanswered. After all, there was the chance that the ash-blond could regain consciousness while Daichi wasn't by his side (even if he didn't plan on that, no matter what his boss would say). This way, he could make sure that his loved one wouldn't be left hanging without answers for too long. So, he typed, typed until he ran out of words. Apologies, explanations, regret, countless promises of love - every thought his brain came up with that moment. Yes, he lost his usual cool composure, but at that moment it didn't matter at all. Even if he had to delete and rewrite his message a couple of times to get everything right. It turned out to be a long, quite mushy text, not structured in the slightest, seeing how he repeated himself from time to time. At least, he would get his message across with it.

Daichi's hands trembled when he held onto the phone by the time he finished his text, too overwhelmed once again. Pouring his heart out like that was surely emotionally exhausting. Talking about it face to face with his loved one was definitely what Daichi would have preferred, but unfortunately, that wasn't possible for now. And there was still the fact that he had to speak to his own family. Rather sooner than later. Calling his family as distraught as he felt this instant wasn't the smartest thing he could do, but calming down would probably take a while either, so he simply pressed the call button. He needed the support of his family now more than ever. Just what was he supposed to say, though? In the end, he didn't get a chance to ponder for too long, because his mother picked up the phone after the third ring.

"Hello darling! What did we do to deserve this honour?" his mother chirped happily on the other side of the line. Silence ensued her greeting for a couple of seconds, seeing how the brunet had trouble forming proper sentences. A sob was the only sound that escaped his lips in the end. Which was causing his poor mother to panic. "Daichi?! What is going on? You aren't calling for small talk, are you?"

Daichi was still unable to respond, only another sob left his mouth. It worried Yoshiko, understandably, however, before she could speak up again, Daichi cried out, "Koushi is in hospital! He… He almost died yesterday night! It was a terrible accident and it's all my fault! His doctor had to put him in an artificial coma to increase his chance to recover because he lost too much blood! God, what… Just what am I supposed to do now?! I don't want to lose him!"

His mother let out a startled gasp at this reveal. Receiving such news was terrifying to say the least and from the way Daichi was acting, it became obvious to her that the situation was grave. She didn't get more of an explanation as Daichi broke down crying once again. When Yoshiko was able to form proper words again, she whispered, "Oh my god, that's terrible, dear! Is anyone with you right now?"

The brunet denied her question with a quiet whimper - an alarming sign for his now obviously worried mother. For Daichi, a man who never shows his weak side to anyone, no matter how close they were, it was a rare and unusual thing to ask for help. Thus, him choosing to seek out his family in pure despair was a cry for help that his family wouldn't take lightly. Which is why Yoshiko shouted on her side of the phone, "Kenshin, honey, pack our bags! We have to go to Tokyo as soon as possible! Our son needs all the assistance we can offer right now!" In a calmer voice, she addressed her son, "Darling, I'm not going to leave you alone in such a dire situation, so we're going to take the next train we are able to catch!"

With that decision made, Yoshiko decided to stay on the phone until her son was somewhat calmer, while she started packing everything she might need for the next couple of days. It did help Daichi, and he honestly didn't expect anything else from his mother. She had always been his rock, the one the brunet approached whenever something became too much for him to handle. This was such a situation. Fortunately, the married couple managed to catch a train only a few hours later, which had them arriving in the late evening. The hours between their call and their actual arrival weren't easy for the brunet, especially since there were no changes in Koushi's state of health. Sitting next to his comatose soulmate tore at his heartstrings more than anything else, but Daichi wouldn't budge an inch away from there. Because he feared that if he would leave his side, then he would lose him forever. And that was something he couldn't risk. Not again. He had lost too much already: his daughter, her mother… Losing his one and only soulmate for real was something he would never be able to survive. So, he stayed, stayed for as long as the hospital allowed him. Leaving him there, in this cramped room with all those machines attached to his already weak body, was the hardest part.

Later, when Daichi's parents finally learned the truth about what had happened between their son and Koushi, they were obviously shocked. Especially because the brunet hadn't said a word about any of this while he took care of his sick father these past two weeks. In his defence, Daichi hadn't been aware of the biggest issue - that being Sugawara's worsened depression - albeit that didn't ease his mother's anger in the slightest. For her, it was entirely incomprehensible as to why her son hadn't solved such an important argument until now and, on top of that, left a mentally unstable man on his own after such a grave, even violent clash. Daichi knew she was right, but there wasn't anything he could change about it now. Knowing how guilty Daichi already felt, his parents dropped the issue and went back to fully supporting and distracting their distraught son for as long as he needed, while praying for Sugawara's survival.

-—

And just like that, two weeks went by. Nothing had changed during this time, which was good and bad news at the same time. It was reassuring that Koushi's state didn't worsen, but at the same time he didn't show any positive changes as well. Besides the slowly but surely healing injuries of course. At the very least, he was in a stable condition. Doctor Michiko had started to reduce the medication which kept him in a coma little by little, now that he was out of immediate danger. Luckily, no other serious complications occurred in the process, although they had to increase the medication one time when circulation problems appeared. After that, everything went more or less smooth. Sugawara had yet to show signs of coming out of his coma, though. Michiko had told his family that there was no way to estimate an exact date, seeing how it was entirely up to Suga to regain consciousness, so waiting was the only thing his relatives could do. Therefore, Daichi spent as much time as possible in the hospital, right by his lover's side. Just like on this sunny Friday afternoon.

Daichi sat in one of the hospital chairs next to his bed, enjoying a cup of coffee. He held Suga's pale hand softly in his own and caressed it with his thumb, while he talked about everything and nothing. Of course, he couldn't be sure if Koushi could actually hear or understand anything he said, but involving him directly in his life and everything going on while he was _asleep_ simply felt right to Daichi.

"Please wake up soon, Koushi… I know I made a ton of mistakes in just a couple of weeks, and I don't know if you are even willing to forgive me, but I really wish to make it up to you. I miss you so much, sweetheart. I… I can't lose you, not you! I would give up everything to make things right again, to switch positions with you. Anything to get the love of my life back. I love you so, so much, Sweetums," the brunet whispered in a soft voice.

He finished his confession with a gentle kiss to his lover's forehead right afterwards; as if to promise him that his love was still as strong as before. In a way he got into this habit of kissing him there, because, right now, Koushi's forehead was the only spot he could kiss without getting in the way of any hospital equipment, seeing how the breathing tube was still necessary. And Daichi hoped, dearly, that his loved one was able to feel those tender touches. All of the kisses he had peppered his lover with and those loving caresses… Was Koushi able to feel any of it? He could only pray he did. Praying was something he did quite a lot lately, despite not being much of a religious person - after all it was the only thing he could do for now.  
With a sigh leaving his lips, Daichi let his gaze wander across his partner's appearance. It had become apparent to him that Koushi had lost some weight - to the point that it became visible to the mere eye - and that had started showing even weeks before their grave argument! The ashen-haired male looked so, so fragile and pale that Daichi almost believed that his poor lover was losing this fight of his. All of that equipment didn't help ease these worries either. His cuts, once angry red lines, cries for help, were slowly fading away. Yet, the mere existence of them was saddening the brunet male. Even the deep one that had threatened his life was healing properly, now that it was taken care of, albeit it would surely leave behind a prominent scar. A reminder for many years to come.

 _When did he start hurting himself? After I left or even before when stress was pulling us down? My poor love... How could I have let it come this far?! I am such a terrible excuse of a soulmate!_

Before Daichi could delve any deeper into these negative thoughts, he slapped his own cheeks in an effort to get a grip on himself. Like his family and Yuki had told him, blaming himself wouldn't help anyone at this point. The brunet sighed once more and leaned back into the uncomfortable hospital chair. As much as he would exchange it for a comfortable couch, preferably a bed, leaving Koushi's side was something Daichi really didn't want to do. In fact, he spent almost every day in here, determined to watch over the ash-blond to the best of his abilities. Yes, he was tired beyond believe, however, whenever he even considered resting or leaving, his fear of losing him spiked right in. With all of the misfortune he had to face over and over again for the past few years, he simply didn't want to risk anything. What are a few hours of sleep compared to Koushi's well-being? If one were to ask the brunet, he would admit to neglecting his own health, since his Koushi was far more important. Daichi himself honestly didn't care all that much about himself. Even if that mindset worried his own family. This time, however, it was his body that made the decision for him. Daichi simply couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and it wasn't long until he slumped down in his uncomfortable chair. Sleep overwhelmed him, despite his determination to stay awake at his lover's side. Never noticing the smiling woman in the entrance, who wrapped him in a warm and soft blanket.


	46. Chapter 46: The road to recovery

**Chapter 46: The road to recovery**

"... Please come back to me, baby. If I lose you… I don't know what I am to do with my life without you! I love you so, so much, Koushi."

 _That voice again… I keep hearing it whenever I close my eyes. It sounds so familiar, but… Who does it belong to again? I've listened to those whispers for so many days already, yet I can't seem to remember it. Why is it that I can't remember? This warm, smooth voice... Why does it sound like he is on the edge of breaking down? Just what is going on here?_

Knowing that dwelling further on those questions wouldn't come to fruition, Koushi decided to let it go for now. Even if he was curious. He had been in a truly indescribable place for quite some time now, although he never seemed to stay for long in each location. Between several blackouts, he found himself in all kinds of places: familiar apartments, full of pictures with blurred out faces, little coffee shops, where he had seen and heard glimpses of a few people and a few parks and other landscapes. All the time, he kept hearing weird, out-of-place voices - one of these voices appeared far more often, however. This deep and soothing male voice. Besides _him,_ Koushi also heard the voice of a female from time to time, which seemed to linger in his mind longer, as well as other less distinctive voices. He hadn't been able to comprehend what all of these people wanted from him or why they always were full of sorrow whenever he caught onto their whispers. This time, when Koushi began to blink back into consciousness, he had the feeling that the day ahead of him would be different from his previous experiences in this weird space. His eyes fluttered open, only for Koushi to squint almost immediately due to the blinding light all around him. Once he got used to it, he let his gaze wander and he concluded that he also had no idea as to where he himself was currently. From what he could tell, he was sitting on a swing in some kind of playground? His reason for being here in the first place was a mystery to him, but it certainly didn't seem to be a bad thing. There were flowers all around him, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the sun enveloped him in a cosy warmth. The whole scene was simply perfect. Too perfect. While Koushi felt this lingering unease deep within his subconsciousness, he couldn't help but wish to explore the strange place anyway. Now that he thought about it… Who had been talking earlier, when he was seemingly alone in this beautiful place? Was it something in his mind, a memory of sorts? Whatever it was, it must be of importance, right? However, since the mystery voice hadn't spoken up again ever since the ash-blond took note of his surroundings, he decided that he could as well check this place out for the time being. With no plan in mind, he started wandering around aimlessly. Maybe he would find something by chance that could explain why he was here. For a while, nothing happened, nor did he find anything noteworthy, enabling him to simply enjoy the peace and quiet of this blossoming garden. Only the sound of laughter tore him out of his little adventure - a voice as smooth as honey, warm and gentle. A voice he recognized. It was the male who had been talking to him earlier, that much was obvious to him. Feeling that this had to be something important, Koushi picked up his pace without thinking, following the gentle laughter.

While he still had no idea whose voice he had heard, he was convinced that he wasn't experiencing all of this without reason. When he finally reached the source of the voice, he found himself in front of a beautiful lake. For some reason, just looking at the scenery that lay before his eyes made his heart beat a little faster: the little pier on the eastern side, the trees and bushes surrounding the body of water and the warm breeze that brushed through Koushi's hair… All of it was oddly familiar to him. His gaze stopped at something near the pier. A red, soft looking blanket was laid out on the lush grass and two figures were cuddling under the warming sun. But still… There was something strange about this lovey-dovey couple. They were seemingly… transparent? Curious and confused, Koushi decided to creep closer, hopefully catching onto something that could explain just what was going on. Once he was in earshot, he heard a soft voice speak up.

"This is such a beautiful place, Dai! I couldn't ask for a better date! How did you even manage to find this place?"

Koushi halted in his steps, frozen for a moment. This was _his own voice_! And now that he was close enough, he was able to see that there was indeed another version of himself, shamelessly snuggled into the well-defined chest of a handsome brunet. What was going on? It was obvious to anyone that those two were incredibly close and head-over-heels for each other, seeing how this brunet kept caressing the other's cheek with his thumb, while his other hand rested on his date's lower back.

"I'm glad you like it, love. A friend of mine, Asahi, the nervous train wreck you met at Noya's cafes, told me about it. Knowing that you're not fond of loud and crowded places, I thought you might enjoy something like this. After all, I want you to be at ease when you're with me. You're too important to me, Koushi," the brunet confessed with a dorky, lovestruck smile on his face.

The Sugawara, who was cuddling the brunet turned just as crimson as the confused one, who was watching the sweet exchange. This couldn't be real, right? How could such a gentle and warm man ever want to be with someone as broken as Koushi? Just looking at this display of affection was enough to make him uncomfortable, seeing how he simply couldn't believe that he deserved anything as nice as this. Was his mind playing tricks on him to torture him? He did remember that his heart had been broken, and he remembered sharp pain, but everything else was just… blank.

While the ash-blond contemplated who this handsome brunet was and what all of this meant, his gaze flickered back to the weird scene. Only to avert it mere seconds afterwards, because this other Koushi was passionately making out with his apparent boyfriend. In between breaths, he caught the name _Sawamura Daichi_ and the title _soulmate_ , something that echoed deep within his heart. This… This couldn't be true, could it? Even if his brain was all fuzzy at the moment, it couldn't make up something as precise as this out of the blue. However, since he couldn't explain what he was seeing, he decided to let it go for now, to investigate some more before drawing any conclusions. Therefore, he stepped away, giving the couple some privacy, even if they weren't _there_ to begin with and wandered around some more. He did so without much of a plan, seeing how that had also resulted in what he could only describe as a vision of sorts previously.

In the end, it didn't even take long until he ran across a couple of different scenarios: dates of all kinds, cosy, domestic moments or simple hangouts with some other people, who Koushi remembered were his friends. It was clear to him by now, that he was reliving memorable moments of his life. The last scenario he discovered consumed quite a bit of time until he found it, so he guessed that its nature must be a little more complex than all these sweet little moments of his life. In the end, he came across a quiet shopping street, lined with cafe's, random stores and finally, a bigger, colourful building. A kindergarten, if he remembered correctly? This time, Koushi witnessed himself in some sort of argument with a faceless man. Literally faceless - seeing how this stranger was nothing but a shadowy figure, looming over a frightened looking ash-blond. The figure had a seemingly tight grasp on his shirt collar, had one fist raised, ready to punch the weaker male. This figure radiated so much hatred and anger, despite not having a face to express emotion. Even from afar, it made Koushi's skin crawl. Yet, feeling that this scene was important, he crept closer, albeit he did stay on the other side of the street at first.

The dangerous stranger spat out, his voice full of hatred, "Who the hell do you think you are, ordering me around, huh?! I'm not gonna take any orders from some worthless faggot! Who allowed someone like you to take care of children, huh? How many did you corrupt with your disgusting ways already?! "

Koushi watched himself shivering in fear, desperately trying to get out of the other's grasp. There was nothing he could say to appease his attacker, that much was obvious. A guy like that wouldn't listen to anything he'd say in defence. Either way, despite the existence of soulmates, there were still plenty of people who wouldn't accept same-gender relationships. As uptight and outdated as such a world view was.

 _Why does this look so familiar? Are these my memories? I don't understand what's going on, but I guess I am here to remember something important? Why else would I see any of these things? This is so confusing..._

If Koushi were able to, he'd step in somehow, but something told him that there was nothing he could actually do about it. Still, wanting to hear and see them more clearly, he moved a little closer. Just when he thought that the other Sugawara was about to get punched, another voice interrupted the loud argument.

"Move away from him or I'll shoot you! Don't even think about laying one finger on him!"

Koushi eyes wandered in the direction of where the new voice came from and he honestly wasn't even surprised by what he saw next. Or whom. It was the same handsome man from before, this time clad in a police uniform with his weapon raised, aiming right at the shadowy figure. Figures that someone as well built as this brunet must have a job that required physical labour. And he did look great in that uniform... His expression, however, was unreadable, or rather, his emotionless expression was hiding the inner tumult the other must experience perfectly. Only his eyes betrayed his otherwise calm demeanour because they withhold a fire - fury - the ash-blond hadn't seen before. The shadowy figure, though, didn't listen to the police officer at all. Instead, he shoved the ashen-haired male down to the floor, eliciting a pained grunt from said male. To make matters worse, a foot collided with Sugawara's stomach, causing him to wince in pain. That, however, turned out to be a grave mistake from the attacker, seeing how the brunet officer, came running almost instantly. Shooting was definitely something he could only do in an absolute emergency, but such restrictions didn't stop him from throwing a punch of his own. One hit was enough to knock the perpetrator off balance, allowing Sawamura to arrest this guy.

The scene faded for just a second, which had Koushi rubbing his eyes in confusion. The next thing he saw, was Sawamura kneeling in front of Sugawara, gently rubbing his shaking hands. Daichi had a black eye, so he obviously must have had some trouble with the guy before he could return to his lover.

His Sugawara was shaking like a leaf, his face had lost all colour and from just one look in his eyes, you could tell, that he wasn't truly _there_ right now. Shock was settling in, something that wasn't surprising to Koushi, considering his violent past experiences. Another young male, a brunet with stylish, fluffy hair, chocolate brown eyes and a round belly sat down next to Sugawara and wrapped his arms softly around his shoulders. Despite the fact that he had been crying himself, calming the other seemed to be his priority. The exchange between these two was too quiet for Koushi to understand, but he could tell that whatever this person was telling his other self was nothing but words of encouragement. Daichi seemed to stay out of their private discussion, as if he could sense that this was something the two of them needed to settle on their own before he added something himself. And it worked. Sugawara grabbed onto his other friend in desperation, completely ignoring the fact that his boyfriend was sitting right in front of him.

 _That person... I remember his name to be Tooru. Oikawa Tooru. He was the one who always stayed by my side... Which is why I always felt safe with him... Then I met Daichi, the first person after Tooru whom I revealed my true self, no matter how pathetic this ME is. And he accepted me as for who I really am, who saw through these masks I wore each and every day to get through. He loved me dearly, so much that sometimes I couldn't believe how lucky I am to have such a wonderful soulmate. Why... Why didn't I remember this until now? What is so different about this memory?_

Just then, a startled gasp tore Koushi out of his thoughts. Once his eyes found the source of it, he saw this other Sugawara clawing at his arms, scratching them open to the point that he started bleeding. This time, it was Daichi, who stopped him. He cradled those shaky, pale fingers in his own, began shushing him with gentle whispers and showered his fingers, arms and face with countless feather-light kisses. Sugawara's sobs subsided more and more, and a tightness began to squeeze Koushi's chest. And then, he heard a whisper so soothing, yet pained at the same time. A sentence he remembered as clearly as if he had heard it just a day prior.

"Koushi, sweetheart, love of my life, please listen to me. You are safe here, this man will never hurt you again, I will see to that. I swear by my life that I am going to protect you from any harm. But please, don't hurt yourself. This will be the only thing I am ever going to ask of you, I promise. You have no reason to injure yourself ever again as long as I am with you. I'm going to be your pillar, your strength when you feel like you're breaking apart. Forever. I love you and I will until the end of time. You don't need to hide how you are feeling, your insecurities and everything you dislike about yourself. I love all of you and nothing is ever going to change that."

This confession had Oikawa cooing in awe, while Sugawara stopped hurting himself and crying. Whilst Koushi felt as if his heart was breaking a little, he watched himself promising the other that he would never injure himself in a bout of anxiety. Tears were freely flowing down Koushi's own cheeks for a reason he wasn't sure about at the moment. Suddenly, the scene in front of him faded away entirely, this time however, he was left in darkness. The streets, the greenery, everything vanished as if it had never existed in the first place. Only the words of Daichi echoed in his mind, words that kept repeating over and over again. Before he could question anything, a sharp pain radiating from his wrist took his entire attention. When he looked down, he saw an enormous, heavily bleeding cut, as well as a dozen of smaller cuts all over his arms. _What is this? Is that the reason why I am here in the first place? Did I break my promise to Daichi? Did I... Die?_

Just when this thought crossed his mind another flashback came to his mind. And suddenly, his last memories returned with full force. He remembered that he texted his loved one in order to make up for an argument both of them were at fault for and that he attempted to cook dinner to thank his friends, Kenma and Akaashi, for letting him stay with them until he felt stable enough to live on his own again. Or with Daichi for that matter.

 _My depression got worse and Daichi leaving me, tipped me over the edge. I broke our promise when nothing could help anymore and then I got into this accident of sorts... I didn't want to die! I don't want to die! Not anymore, at least! I... I need to get back; I need to wake up! Whatever is happening to me, I don't want to vanish! Please let me wake up! Daichi... He lost too much already; I don't want him to suffer because of me!_

A feather light touch to his hand distracted him from his desperate thoughts, followed by the soft, but muffled voice of Daichi. It sounded as if he was far away - as if Koushi was hearing this voice from under water.

"I don't know if you can hear me, my love, but… Please don't give up and fight through this! I am going to wait for you, and I don't care about how long it'll take. I love you, my beloved Koushi. I truly want to make up for all of my mistakes."

Now that Koushi was surrounded by nothingness, it was easier to focus on all his other senses. There was nothing else to focus on after all. Naturally, he first thought that he had imagined the slight tug on his hand and shrugged it off as something his panicked mind made up to remind him of his last living moments. However, when he felt the sensation again, he began to reconsider his rash decision. Even so, Koushi found some sort of comfort in it. _Someone was nearby._ Floating in this endless abyss, he closed his eyes and focused everything he got on the new presence he suddenly felt. Now, he couldn't only hear another all too familiar voice, but he also recognized a certain warmth somewhere close to him. Wherever he was, he felt weightless, cushioned, albeit there was this weird beeping sound ringing in his ears. It was a rather annoying sound if one were to ask him. The sound of sniffles and rustling of fabrics reached his ears next, followed by the whispering of his favourite voice.

"Sweetheart, I beg you, please wake up... Even if it's not for me anymore! Your mom is here, your friends – everyone who loves you! We can't live without you! _I_ can't continue my life without you! The doctors they... They told me that you're not recovering, instead you keep falling deeper into sleep! Don't give up! Please, please come back to me... I don't even know if you can hear all my mumbling but... I love you."

 _I am right here! I want to wake up just as much as you want me to! Why, why can't I move?! Why can't I do anything? Please… I want to see you again, no matter what hardships might await me. Us! Whatever - whoever is keeping me in this place, please let me get back! Let me out of here!_

It wasn't like Koushi expected an answer. After all, he hadn't seen another real human being ever since he found himself in this weird place. Just when he was about to lose all hope, the silver-haired male found himself blinded by a bright light.


	47. Chapter 47: Reunited at last

**Chapter 47: Reunited at last**

"Daichi… Please, get some rest. I know how hard this is for you, but Koushi wouldn't want you to neglect your own health," a soft voice spoke right next to him. A hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing it gently, yet firm enough to tear him out of his daze. The brunet tore his gaze away from his pale soulmate, to meet the eyes of his worried mother. His parents had decided to stay with him in these trying times, using the guestroom of Daichi's flat. He honestly needed the support – at home and at the hospital – seeing how he could barely function on his own after what happened. Even if he only listened half-heartedly to their advice, like right now. Truthfully, he was beyond exhausted, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to lie down and relax while his partner was suffering because of his mistakes. Just as Daichi was about to let go of Suga's hand to get some shut eye, he found himself suddenly freezing in place. Had he just felt a slight pressure on his hand? On the one holding onto Suga's to be precise?

"Koushi? Did you just… Can you hear me?"

Of course, he didn't get a verbal reply. He couldn't. However, what he did feel was another squeeze of his hand. Now, his whole focus switched back to his beloved. With bated breath, Daichi observed the unconscious male, searched for any kind of movement, for any change. Anything at all. And suddenly, his eyes twitched ever so slightly. It was the most activity Sugawara had shown in weeks – and for the first time it looked like the ash-blond was about to wake up for real! Yoshiko, not wasting a second, scrambled to her feet to call doctor Michiko about the sudden changes. Just in case something went wrong. Fortunately, Michiko had been just down the hallway, therefore she was able to join them immediately. Then, finally, Sugawara blinked back into consciousness. Was this really happening? Daichi couldn't believe his eyes. His beloved soulmate was finally waking up! Had all of his talking really reached him on some level? His prayers? The brunet was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the entrance of Doctor Michiko. Said doctor went to work as soon as Sugawara's eyes opened all the way and he started blinking confusedly, trying to get used to the light in the room. Although, he was still pretty much out of it, he reacted to her examination and her questions as well as he could. Nonverbal, but his reactions did seem to please the woman in front of him.

After a thorough check-up, Doctor Michiko explained, "Everything seems to be alright for now. Sugawara-Kun is still dazed, so it's highly possible that he won't be able to communicate much. We will do some more tests later, to check over his brain activity and rule out any lasting consequences. But for now, we're going to give you guys some space."

With that, she left both, soulmate and mother, alone with Sugawara. All the time throughout her examination and explanation, Daichi's dark eyes never left his boyfriend. That way, he also noticed when the ashen-haired male turned his head slightly to get a better look at Daichi. So, he did notice his presence! The look in his eyes didn't tell much about what was going on in his pretty little head, though. Somehow, his bright, hazelnut-brown eyes seemed to bore right into his very soul. Was he angry at him? Did he not want him to be around? Well, he certainly had enough reasons to think that way. As if sensing his self-depreciating thoughts, Suga's mouth curved into a soft smile. Not the bright, toothy grin Daichi adored so much, nor the shy one he had whenever he was moved or embarrassed. His expression was now warm and reassuring. Filled with relief and adoration. Almost apologizing even.  
It was a sight that tugged at Daichi's heartstrings. Because even though Sugawara should be worrying about himself – he just woke up from a coma for god's sake – he still showed concern for those around him first and foremost.

"Hey sweetheart. Great to see you among the living again. God, I'm- I don't know what to say, now that I finally got you back!" were the words Daichi chose in the end, once he returned to his senses. Yes, he was euphoric – who wouldn't be in that situation – but it caught him entirely off guard as well. Especially because the brunet didn't want to overwhelm his poor lover. He didn't know how much he was capable of comprehending at the moment after all. There was a lot going on Daichi's mind, that much was for sure, but did Suga even remember the incident? The argument? What even were his last memories? Considering the gentle expression on his face, Koushi must still hold some feelings for his soulmate leastwise, so Daichi had that certainty at least. Better than nothing. There was no use in worrying over the situation now – he wouldn't get any answers until Suga was better anyways. Thus, the brunet talked about everything and nothing, told him all about what their friends had been up to and even informed him about general news. All the time, the smile didn't leave Suga's lips. As if he was truly glad that his other half was here with him. It encouraged Daichi to share whatever story his brain could come up with and if Sugawara even let out a giggle here and there it was enough of a sign for the brunet to continue. In that manner, four days went by in the blink of an eye. Four days in which Sugawara regained more and more control of his senses. Fortunately, the induced coma hadn't put any more damage to his body and mind, as the doctor proclaimed after a thorough examination. He simply needed to settle back into a normal routine, which included regular meals, bathroom routines and other small exercises. Daichi never left his side during these first, troublesome days. Much to the relief of the affected patient, so to say.

It was the end of his first week in Suga's new life, when Daichi finally decided to address the metaphorical elephant in the room. By the time Daichi arrived at the hospital, far more rested than he had been in the last couple of weeks, Sugawara was already up and munching on his favourite super spicy Mapo tofu. A meal Akaashi had smuggled into the hospital when he started his shift in the morning. Nobody needed to know that he _might_ have switched Suga's official hospital meal with his homemade portion when he started delivering lunch to the patients in his wing. The poor guy was finally able to keep his food down and he honestly had enough of the bland hospital meals. Growing used to solid food after all those weeks in a coma had taken some time truthfully, but seeing how he could enjoy his favourite again, it made all the trouble worth it. Sugawara looked up when he heard the door open, worried for a second that another nurse was going to find him eating something other than the lunch officially assigned to him. However, his expression softened when he realized that it was _only_ Daichi. He waved at him, beckoning him to come over. Daichi did just that, although he hesitated for a second. A hesitation that was noticeable – Suga didn't miss the nervous fidgeting when Daichi was right in front of his bed.  
Just as the ashen-haired male was about to question his behaviour, the brunet seemingly came to a decision. Namely, showing some courage, which resulted in him leaning down and pressing a tender kiss to Sugawara's cheek. It honestly surprised the ashen-haired male a little. Not only was it the first real sign of affection Daichi had shown him since his awakening, but he also seemed to be so unsure about it. As if he was afraid to hurt him. Afraid to overstep some sort of boundary. Nevertheless, Suga blushed at the action and the happy smile that tucked at the corners of his lips should have been enough to convince Daichi to continue with such actions. He did miss the touch of his caring soulmate, after all.

"Hey Dai," Suga mumbled, once he regained his composure, and shoved another spoonful of food into his mouth. Mostly to distract himself from thinking any more about _kissing Daichi._ Or _acting_ upon these thoughts for that matter. Unfortunately, the aforementioned brunet got hold of the wrong end of the stick here and immediately jumped to the conclusion that the kiss was too much for his soulmate and went to apologize. And it all escalated a bit from there.

"Look, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you! I just thought that... I don't know, I didn't really think. It's just- I miss being with you. Miss being close to you. As boyfriends. I understand if you don't want that for a while; you have every right to resent me. There is nothing I can say to justify my actions; I fucked up and I fucking hurt you. Physically and emotionally. Venting my frustrations on you like that was absolutely wrong and leaving without resolving the entire situation was a mistake, I'm never going to repeat. I won't touch you again, until I get your permission, I promise. But please know, that I am terribly sorry for everything that happened! If I had known it would spiral down that badly, I would have-"

The ash-blond was listening to his rambling for quite some time, until he noticed that the other was working himself into a panicked state. Deciding here and now that it was enough, Sugawara pulled the taller man down by the collar to connect their lips in a tender kiss. It shut the other up, just like Suga had intended. For a moment, everything around them was forgotten and the only thing they focused on was the sensation of the other's lips on their own. It was nothing noteworthy, just a sweet little peck, and yet it was more meaningful than any words could explain in that exact moment. Sugawara and Daichi stayed in close contact, their foreheads touching, and exchanged loving gazes. The brunet was honestly a little taken aback, but the dopey smile on his dazed expression couldn't hide the happiness, the gesture brought him. Taking that as a silent approval, Sugawara decided to give into his own feelings and dove into another kiss. Without any restraint, Suga wrapped his arms around his lover's neck and pressed his lips once more against Daichi's. This time in a way more passionate and heated kiss. Their lips moved together in perfect sync, like they have done a thousand times before. For a little while all the misfortune they had to endure lost all meaning because they were here now. They were given a second chance. A chance to reunite and bond all over. A chance neither of them was going to abandon.

Between kisses, Sugawara uttered, "It's okay, Dai. I'm not mad. Shit happened and we both made mistakes that we're sorry for. I'm sorry for breaking my promise to you. But it's also no use dwelling on the past and what we could have done better or differently. Let's give this another try. Together. Yes, we have to work this out together and things may be tough at first, but I want to do this. Even if we need help from the outside, then that's fine too. Because I still love you so, so much." He finished his speech with another kiss, gentle and sweet. His boyfriend, now overwhelmed by unbelievable joy, found himself unable to keep these feelings to himself, thus he ended up showering the ashen-haired male in countless butterfly kisses. The brunet was just so happy to be forgiven! Suga was squealing with laughter at the sweet administration and he was also delighted by the outcome of the situation. Of course, the issue wasn't anywhere near solved, but at least they found some peace for now. Everything else could be worked out at another time. Only a cough from the door managed to interrupt their intimate exchange. Both, Daichi and Sugawara, jumped apart almost instantly with bright red faces and turned their attention to the _intruders_ at the door.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here. Are we interrupting something, Kou-Chan?" one Oikawa Tooru teased in a sickeningly sweet voice. He stood in the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, clearly amused by the scene in front of him. Without waiting for a response, the heavily pregnant brunet waddled over to the flustered couple and wrapped his best friend in a tight hug. Tight enough to squeeze all air out of his lungs. Apparently, Tooru wasn't letting go any time soon, considering how he snuggled into the other, shamelessly invading his personal space on the small hospital. Suga bed, having grown used to his antics for ages, didn't mind at all. Quite the opposite even! Having his cuddly best friend this close reminded him of good times, so he moved his body to provide more space for the other to sit comfortably. Not to mention that Suga was also completely at ease right now. And apparently, Oikawa wasn't the only person who searched for comfort in the ash-blond's warmth. Shortly after Oikawa made himself comfortable, Hinata, Yachi and Akaashi crowded their beloved friend and attacked him with hugs as well. Even if the latter showed more restraint and stuck to ruffling his hair, while the other two almost jumped onto the bed and clung to the poor guy as if their own lives depended on it.

What caught Suga's attention the most, however, was a soft and quiet voice from the door. "You're looking good, Koushi. It's nice to see you smile so much after those horrible weeks. How are you doing?"

It was none other than Kenma. The younger man spoke to him almost timidly, and it didn't look like he was going to get closer to the group of friends crowding Suga any time soon. He seemed... hesitant. Scared. What was he scared of, though? Just as Sugawara was about to voice this question, it dawned upon him why he acted that way.  
 _Kenma has been the one who found me first, from what I've been told... Oh no! This must have been such a horrible thing to experience! I basically bled out in his arms and he was the last person I spoke to before that accident! Had he been visiting when I was in that coma as well? God, all of that must have terrified him so badly, especially because he had no way to know how things would turn out!_

Filled with determination to make things up to his dear friend, he held his arms out, beckoning the Pudding Head to come closer. "Come here, Ken-Chan," Suga offered softly, ignoring his first question for now.  
Albeit the other hesitated for a second, he soon gave in to the urge to charge right into Suga's waiting arms. Before the smaller male could stop himself, quiet sobs wracked his body as he hid his face in the crook of the ash-blond's neck. With his arms wrapped around Kenma, Sugawara started rubbing soothing circles onto his back.

"Shh, Ken-Chan, it's alright. I'm fine now and things are only getting better from now on. You've gone through something horrible, and I'm really sorry that you had to see all of that. It won't happen again, I swear. I'm probably not allowed to use the kitchen on my own for quite some time now, too. But seriously. Thank you for all the help and the little things you've done for me. If it hadn't been for you, I don't know where I would be now."

While whispering those words, hoping they would calm Kenma, their other friends backed off to give them a moment. Everyone knew how hard the entire situation had been on Kenma. It was understandable in all honesty. After all, it's not a daily thing to have one of your close friends almost dying in your arms, while you're completely unable to do anything to help. Until now, Kenma had distanced himself from the rest of them. The guilt, the helplessness had torn him apart and nothing they had told him time and time again, had managed to get him out of his slump. A slump he had been in ever since that fateful day. Not even Akaashi had been able to do much about it, because his partner had avoided him as well. At least he could gently push him into the right direction – namely a therapist to talk about the issues the accident provoked. Nobody got away from trauma unscathed. All of these feelings came back, now that he finally was able to hold Koushi, breathing, healthy, _living_ Koushi in his own arms.

Sugawara simply held onto Kenma until he was calm and coherent enough to speak again. In a soft voice, hoarse from crying, he whispered, "Thank you... God, I was so worried about you. Nobody knew if you were going to make it, because of the amount of blood you lost. Fuck, I _saw_ how much blood you had lost because I sat in that puddle and cleaned it up! I... I'm just so glad that you're okay!"

And he wasn't the only who thought like that. Although, he was probably one of the most affected persons. Of course, Yuuki and Daichi had been just as terrified, even if they hadn't known Suga for as long as Suga's friends had. Both of them had gotten close to him much later, after all. Not that it mattered in the grand scheme of things. Especially because things were finally, finally looking up.  
Yes, there were tough times ahead of them – Daichi and Suga would have to rebuild their relationship and work on the issues that brought the whole mess upon them in the first place. In addition to that, the ash-blond was well aware that he would have to meet up with his therapist on a regular basis for a while as well. Suicidal thoughts were nothing to take lightly, especially considering his backstory and his previous suicide attempts. And intentional or not, his accident was a traumatising event, even if it hadn't hit Suga yet. For now, Sugawara wanted to focus on reassuring his friends and family. His own problems could wait until he was out of the hospital – at least that was what he told himself.

So he did just that: He listened to Hinata's and Yachi's excited chattering and funny stories from the kindergarten, listened to Oikawa babbling about his pregnancy, the renovations he (or rather Iwaizumi) had finished for their babies and what they had planned for the near future. Everyone had brought pictures for him to accompany their stories, his colleagues even brought some "Get-well-soon-drawings" from some of their fosterlings! Since Akaashi stopped by every once in a while during his shifts, they could catch up far more often, so he only added a comment here and there whenever he found it appropriate. Even Kenma talked a bit about his latest projects at work. It was honestly nice to get involved in everyone's life so openly. Like that, Sugawara didn't get the feeling that he missed out on much in the time he spent _sleeping_. Daichi didn't speak up during the time his soulmate chatted with his friends. He didn't want to intrude. Instead, he took joy in the easy smile and the happy laughter Sugawara let out more often than not. All things considered, things were finally calming down and hangouts like that visit surely helped each and every one of them to cope better with the situation. Yeah, it might take a while until everything returned to normal, but this time, they were more than ready to support each other before things could escalate again. And if one or two of their friends were ready to fight whoever they deemed a threat, then who was there to stop them?

* * *

 _ **AN:**_

 _ **Yes, I am aware that you can't just accept or ignore serious problems (like they might seem to be), especially if it involves anxiety, depression and all of the problems this story has in it.  
Their agreement in this chapter is just one tiny step, but I also don't want to go to deeply into the whole making-up and resolving their issues thing. Partially, because I honestly don't know how I would get started on that.**_

 _ **I never got caught up in a huge, serious argument, I can't deal with negative emotions or cheering someone up and anxiety can be a bitch sometimes (which is also one of the reasons why my last update took three fucking months), so I really don't feel confident enough to get into something psychological as this. I hope you can forgive me for that.**_


End file.
